"Come on, Bray. Let's go do this."
I get up from the chair with a renewed sense of purpose after the bombshell that is Lillian stepped back into my life. I'm determined to figure out what this is between us without hurting the woman I'm engaged to.
******
"Didn't your assistants bring a change of clothes for you both to wear?" She asks as she changes her lens on her camera.
"Yeah, I think I saw them in the other room. Do you want us to change into them now?"
"That would be helpful.” She sneers. “Please, the sooner we get this started the sooner we can finish."
This is going to be harder than I thought. She's going to be all business and straight to the point, and all I want to do is wrap my arms around her and tell her I'm sorry.
When my brother and I change into the suits Becky had picked up from the cleaners, Lillian eyes us with an amused smirk on her face. "Oh, isn't this just perfect." I couldn't tell if she was laughing at us or being sarcastic.
I look from me to my brother and notice our suits are exactly the same. Damn, we had to wear the same things when we were younger; I thought we were done with that. With a shrug to my shoulders, Bren and I walk over to the backdrop.
When she grabs her camera and puts it up to her face, I'm transported back to the time I saw her on the boardwalk waiting for me.
I couldn't believe she actually showed up. She had her camera up to her eye and she was taking pictures of people, the impending sunset, the water, and anything that looked remotely interesting to her. She was in a similar outfit, which makes me think she likes to be comfortable over being fashionable.
The loose strands from her long french braid were blowing around her face, and I could tell that she'd smile right before she took a picture. She was the most gorgeous woman I ever laid eyes on, and I couldn't think of anything else but getting to know her.
As I approached her, I said, "You made it," as I laid my hand on her shoulder.
"Looks like I did. How was your day?" she asks, giving me a heart-stopping smile.
"Quite nice actually. Met this completely amazing woman who is confined to the friend zone." I winked at her. "We had coffee, she showed me a picture that blew my mind, and then I left her without knowing if I was going to see her again."
She laughed which made me follow. "I mean what did you do after we left the coffee shop?"
"Everything else failed in comparison to my morning, but the night is surely shaping up to be pretty good."
"Only pretty good?" I’m probably going to hell trying to get to know this committed woman, but the flirty girl is fishing for compliments, and I am just all too happy to oblige.
"May I?" I ask as I reach out for her camera and give her a smile. She relinquishes the device as I hold it up to my eye looking through the lens at her. "It could only get better if you let me take a picture of you." I see her expression change from light and flirty to no doubt scared and looking nervous. I pull away from the lens as I see her rolling the end of her braid between her fingers. "Hey, it's ok. I don't need to take your picture. You just seem like the one who's always behind the camera instead of in front of it."
"It's just people don't take pictures of me. It makes me feel vulnerable to some degree, I guess."
I place the camera back in her hands before I speak again. "Look, I don't want you to feel uncomfortable around me. Let's just walk."
When we walk a few minutes without speaking, she looks to me and realizes I'm not going to push her to do something she doesn't want to do. A shy smile appears across her face before she speaks. "Just one, and then we never speak of it again. Deal?"
"Hmm." Trying to weigh the pros and cons of my decision while my fingers are rubbing my chin in contemplation. "Do I get to keep said picture?"
"Well, I'm surely not going to bring it home. We’ll print it out at the store after we leave."
"As long as I get the picture, I'll snap one and never say anything about it again." I would do anything for a personal image of Lillian like this. The fun, flirty, beautiful woman could probably ask me to run away with her and I'd probably do it. Damn the consequences.
"Fine. Do your worst Mr. Knight."
"I'm nowhere near as good as you, but I'll try my best Miss Anderson."
If I only have one shot at this, it's going to be a keeper for sure. I walk up to her and run my hand down her braid before catching the tie and tugging it free. Her eyes are closed, but I could tell she shifted slightly toward my hand. I run my fingers through the softest, smoothest hair until the caramel highlights are glinting at me as the sun's ray hit them before slipping past the horizon. I thought I heard a small moan, so I just stared at her.
When she opens her eyes, I shake my head and try to put myself in check. "Lean your back against the railing." I command and she does as instructed. Her hands naturally come to sit stop the wooden railing and slowly make their way away from her body. It's magnificent to watch her body move and glow with the sunset in the background. I'm captivated by her kissable lips to the curve of her breasts against her shirt down to her tanned legs that cross at her ankles.
"Look that way," I direct as I point to the right. It's perfect. Her hair is free flowing and wild as the breeze ripples the water behind her. I focus on her through the lens and walk in a semi circle around her to get the right light from the setting sun.
I small smile plays on her lips and that is the exact moment I capture. This amazing still mysterious woman has me utterly enthralled and begging to know more.
"Okay. I heard it. That was you're one and only shot. Got it?" She says as she jumps up from her pose to grab the camera out of my hands before I can take another picture.
"I agreed, and I am nothing but a man of my word."
"Mr. Knight?" What? I blink a few times to realize I'm not in Florida on a boardwalk, but in New York with Lillian in front of me.
"Yeah, sorry. I was...uh...somewhere else."
"Didn't take a genius to figure that out." She teases.
"So, what is it that we do at one of your photo shoots?"
She cocks her head to the side before answering, "Well, first just do what's natural. Smile how you want, pose how you like, and just do brotherly stuff. Just don't brawl it out. This equipment cost money you know."
Her cocky smile plays on her lips. The one that's hard not to laugh at. Brendan and I both chuckle, and I quickly take him in a brotherly choke hold. "Like this Lil?" I smile as Brendan semi struggles to get out of my grasp.
I hear the click of a camera before Lillian says, "You're going to let him do that to you Brendan?” She’s shaking her head but smiles, and I’m so entranced I forget what I’m doing. “I mean you two do look a lot alike. He can't be that much stronger than you, can he?" I chuckle as Brendan overpowers me, and in a split second, he takes control switching positions.
I let her take a few pictures, but then my competitive side comes out and I'm trying to one up my brother. Lillian takes pictures of us throwing punches, laughing, and just plain goofing off. I haven't felt this laid back in a long time way before my brother and I got our company started.
"These were great. Thanks guys. Take a few and we'll try to get ones that GQ might actually run in the magazine."
She heads to her stuff and picks up a water bottle to take a sip. When I see her take off her pink sweater, if I didn't remember how sexy she is, then I sure as hell know it now. The plain white t-shirt sits lightly hugging her body, and the weight of her breasts strain against the material of her bra to push against the shirt.
Brendan pushes my shoulder, and I turn to him. "Dude..." He says as he smirks at me and tilts his head toward Lillian. I have this sudden urge to tackle him to the ground. I don't care if he was trying to get me to stop staring at her chest or if he was telling me that he was staring too.
Trying to get my thoughts out of the gutter, I ask, "Alright Miss Photographer, what should we do now?"
"I figured we could take a
couple over here with you two back to back. Smirk, smile, just anything that's comfortable."
We do what she tells us, and the relaxed feeling is back in full force. Brendan opens the front of his suit and I mirror his pose. I pull my lapels and he pulls at his vest. Brendan takes off his jacket and I can't help but follow his lead. All the while Lillian is click clicking away catching us messing around with each other.
"Wow. I mean, I think I have enough now. Thanks. Y’all can change now."
"But..." I poke at her. There wasn’t a but at all; however, I need an excuse to keep her talking and in this good mood.
"But what?" She asks looking a bit confused.
"There was a but there. I heard it."
"There was no but." She doesn’t go to pack up her camera. Instead, she stares at it, running her fingers over the lines and curves.
I can tell there’s something on her mind, but she’s not opening up. I just want her to talk to me like we use to. "Come on, Lil. Whatever you need us to do as long as I don't have to touch him," I say motioning with my head over to my brother.
"Yeah, I love this dude, but that's definitely where I draw the line too," Bren adds.
She looks nervous, looking between me and my brother then her camera. "Well, it was more a personal request. Nothing to do with the magazine."
"Ask, Lillian," I urge.
She's takes a few breaths and messes with her camera a bit before saying, "My friends asked a request of me the other night at dinner."
"And what was does this major request consist of?"
"It was either my girlfriends sit in on this session,” then she mutters, “which was never gonna happen” under her breath, “or I agree to take a particular kind of picture of Brendan."
Brendan smirks no doubt mulling over the decision in his messed up head, but what about me? I'm the one she should be asking for a personal photo. I frown, wondering why it's only my brother and not me.
"Go on Brayden. I see something's bothering you. Pray do tell." Lillian says as she folds her arms in front of her.
"Well, what am I chopped liver?"
"How did I know you were going to say something like that?" And her cocky smile is trying to break through the surface.
"I guess you know me too well," I pout as I fold my arms over my open vest and ever so slightly stick out my bottom lip. That causes both Brendan and Lillian to full on belly laugh, which makes me chuckle. Hearing Lillian laugh is music to my ears after all this time away from her.
"Actually, if you must know, my friend Courtney suggested I get a picture of Brendan, the bachelor, in his suit...sans his vest and shirt."
My jaw actually fell to the ground. First of all, I've never heard of Courtney, which must mean all signs point to she's living here in New York. Secondly, I can't let my brother pose for a picture like that into front of Lillian without putting myself in between them. I'm not stupid. Lillian is gorgeous, and if my brother didn't know I had some kind of history with her, he's all but jump at a chance with Lillian.
"Why ask just him then?"
"Didn't you hear? One of you is no longer on the market. I was asked to get this picture from the single Knight brother not the engaged one." She didn't hide the contempt in her voice, but I wasn't done fighting. Hell, I didn't even start. She went about fiddling with her camera before I could speak again.
"So, these photos are only to satisfy a bet you made with your friends?" I ask as I turn to take of my tie. I quickly remove my vest and shirt and look at my brother whose doing the same. I'm not sure Lillian is paying any attention to us because she doesn't answer me. She just keeps messing with her camera.
When Brendan and I have the requested attire on, or off in this case, as I remain with my back to her. "Lillian?"
"Oh, yeah?"
"Who else sees these?"
"Yep, sorry it's just a bet, and only my friends, Riley, Courtney, and Gwen," She replies.
"So you do live here now." I smile secretly knowing what the answer is before she says anything.
"Of course I live here. I couldn't fly back and forth from Tampa everyday to see my friends now could I?" She sucks in a breath when she realizes what she let escape. Finally, a question answered, and I feel even better knowing she's merely minutes from me instead of hours.
"Okay, Lillian. You got yourself a deal." I look at my brother and his eyes dance with humor. He's knows I'm going all caveman in the situation, but I can't let my brother parade around half naked in front of Lillian.
"Awesome. Thanks, Brendan," She says as I see her in the corner of my eye lean up to kiss my brother's cheek. His smile grows wider as his eyes stare at me, and I know his ass his playing with me. I don’t know Lillian’s motivation behind that kiss, but a low growl emanates from my chest.
He's my brother. He wouldn't do anything, but I don't yell or act out. She knew what she did when she kissed him. Now, it's my turn to play dirty. I know what I do to her.
She glances at me when I turn around and her eyes grow wide. "Wh-what are you doing?"
"What does it look like I'm doing?" I comeback as I adjust my tie and button a few buttons on my jacket over my naked torso. I realize her eyes are fixed on my exposed skin, and the heat that filled her eyes fuels my own desires about her. Her chest is practically heaving as she continues to stare me down.
"I didn't ask you to," She says motioning toward my sibling, "I asked him." Never taking her eyes off me. Him. Ha. Yeah, forget his name with you're staring at me.
I shrug not really caring with any logical explanation. She's a very visual person. I know firsthand.
We take a few pictures before I unbutton my jacket completely, and I hear a sharp intake of breath. The clicking stops and I know exactly what she's looking at through her lens.
Chapter 6
Lillian
"What is that?" I ask as I point to the general vicinity of Brayden's left side of his body. My eyes wander over the tribal lines coming from underneath his jacket.
"Something I got a few months ago." He responds shrugging like it's no big deal.
"I know what it is, but what is it of exactly?" My voice is shaky and any and all confidence and strength I showed during our shoot has officially gone down the drain as I stare wide-eyed at Brayden's body art through my camera lens. I zoom in to try and get a close up without actually getting close up to him.
"You can take a close look if you want." He says trying to hide a smirk. "Or you can just look at it through your camera, but I guarantee it's better close up." He starts to take off his jacket, and I freeze.
I can't take my camera away from my face. I'm afraid he's going to see the lust in my eyes and feel how much I just want to just jump his bones. I blink rapidly a few times then stare down through the lens again looking at his tattoo.
It's amazing, and I momentarily wonder why he chose to mar his skin with these tribal designs. I don't think I can look anywhere else. I can see his abs are cut to perfection as I knew they would be, and in the back of my mind I know Garrett would definitely be outdone by Brayden's physique.
The sharp lines and smooth curves encase the entire left side of his body from his pectoral muscle over his bicep and disappear on his left side. When he turns around, I see the design doesn't just stop. It covers half his back. Two lines disappear in his pants at his lower back, and I can't help the urge to know what else there is to uncover under the last piece of clothing. The points are precise and the way its simplicity makes it whimsical as well as masculine. It's captivating. I can't look away. As his arms move to showcase his art, the muscles in his back shift and move like their daring me to touch them as they bend to his will.
I zoom in with my camera because I wanna to get closer, with actually being that close to him. My body is humming with the unexplainable desire to trace each swirl of the design and kiss every sharp point at the end of the lines. I lick my lips and berate myself for thinking anything like that of a committed man.
Why did I
ever open my mouth and let Courtney's suggestion fly out of my mouth? Oh that's right. I felt the need to get Brayden back for lying to me. I was honest with him about Damon from the beginning, and now he's engaged. He didn't say he was engaged back in Tampa and he doesn't strike me the type of guy to run and get engaged in a short amount of time.
"Lillian?"
I keep my camera up to hide emotions that are coming to the surface, most of all I feel lied to. "Yeah so, I'm done. Thanks. The girls will love these."
Brayden stalks over to me in his suit pants and tie as his brother leaves the room. God, his torso is begging for my touch, and my senses are on Brayden overload. He puts his hands on either side of my camera and pulls it away from my face. He knows I wasn't taking pictures. He knows it was there as my feeble attempt to protect my eyes. The same treacherous eyes that tell him more than I ever could.
"What are you hiding from, Lillian?" He asks softly.
I start to glace around the room for something anything to keep me from answering his question or looking at his delectable body. I don't lie, and I know if it comes down to it I would have no choice but to tell him the truth.
His strong hands burn a path up either side of my neck as he cradles my head in his hands and lean down to me. I hold my breath because I have no idea what he's going to do. His lips are literally mere inches from mine, and I can feel his warm breath on my face. God, kiss me. No! Don't. Just get out of my personal space before I combust.
"Tell me Lil,” he says as our eyes lock. Those eyes. I never stood a chance. “What are you hiding from?"
My insides melt and take a short breath before I pass out. Why does he have to affect me this much? Why can't I lie like he's done...like everyone I know does? It's infuriating, but in a weird way comforting to know I have no secrets when it comes to Brayden. He knows me better than anyone ever has.
"You." I reply meekly.
His breathing is just as labored as my own, and it’s there I can tell he's affected my by presence as well. Back then it didn't matter I was engaged and fighting my emotions when it came to Brayden; I stood true to my promise even though my heart was telling me to give in. Now it's my turn to stand as the outsider to a relationship and wonder if he feels about me the way I feel about him. I feel something for him. Oh, dear God. This isn’t good.
Doubting Our Hearts Page 6