A Home Across the Divide

by April Autumn

  When school started on Wednesday she was not only very nervous but also zombie tired. It was not an easy day as many of the children were tearful. She was unsure about what to do and the children could sense it. By the time school ended, she felt like a complete and utter failure.

  Mrs Rose called her into her classroom, “How was your day dear?”

  Chrissie said, “It was a complete disaster. I don’t think I am ready for this, the classroom was chaos. I think each and every child cried their eyes out today.”

  Mrs Rose said, “Little ones are very perceptive. You were nervous and unsure and they felt it. They were only reflecting the chaos that they felt from you.”

  Mrs Rose took Chrissie to the staff room and poured her a cup of tea. She comforted her, “Calm down and stop stressing so much and remember to enjoy yourself. Teaching young children is rewarding and amusing. Prepare your day very carefully. If the children are kept occupied, they stop thinking about how strange their new environment is.”

  Sajan called her and asked her how her first day had been. She told him that it had been dreadful but that she felt better after talking to Mrs Rose.

  The next day went a lot easier and Chrissie did actually start enjoying herself. The children were calmer and she made sure that she kept them very engrossed in activities.

  Sajan called her every evening. On Friday she was looking forward to spending the weekend with him when he called, “I have really bad news, we have a crisis at work. The systems have crashed and we are going to spend the entire weekend at work. I am missing you so much. Next weekend we will do something extra special to make up for the lost time.”

  Chrissie had a hard time not crying while speaking to Sajan. He of course assumed that she was upset because she wanted to be with him. He could never have imagined that his girlfriend was sleeping crumpled up in her small car.

  On Saturday, Chrissie started looking for a room to rent that she could afford in her meagre salary. The only affordable place she could find was a tiny room in a horrible house. People were living in every part of the house and it was divided with hardboard walls. The little room that she would be renting had no window and there was a repulsive, dirty mattress on the floor. Yet it was much more enticing than her little car. Herman, the man who owned the house, had a long time ago lost interest in the people he rented it to. He found himself wondering what this very pretty, obviously well-educated girl was doing in his house that usually housed only the downtrodden. He had seen plenty of alcoholics and drug addicts and he was certain she was neither.

  Against his better judgment he asked her, “Where are you staying right now.”

  Chrissie looked at the floor and mumbled, “In my car.”

  He hoped he was not going to regret it but he took pity on her and said, “You can move in today, but you must pay R100 more at the end of the month.”

  Chrissie was so relieved not to have to sleep another night in her car, “Thank you, thank you so much.”

  Chrissie fetched her bags from the car. She did not have any bed sheets so she used some of her clothes as a sheet. Fortunately it was still summer so she did not need blankets yet. To her surprise while the house was very full it was not very rowdy. All the occupants were respectful of their neighbours. There were two families with small babies and when they cried in the night she woke up but it was still much better than sleeping in her cramped car. Insects were a problem. All types of horrible creepy crawlies came out during the night. In the morning she was covered all over in insect bites. Chrissie decided to use some of her already very tight budget to buy a can of bug spray.

  On Sunday, Chrissie went to Zoo Lake, a park close to where she was living. Every Sunday artists display their artwork at the park and she enjoyed looking at the art. There was a picture of a mother and daughter that brought tears to Chrissie’s eyes. She longed for a strong bond with her own mother. She thought about her grandmother, “Granny I miss you so much, I wish you were here, you always knew what to say to make me feel better.”

  When it started to get dark, she went home to her depressing little room. She longed for Sajan’s comfortable double bed. She lay on her squalid mattress and tears started to roll down her cheeks; she felt so alone.

  The following week at school was good, Chrissie was enjoying her class. The children were so sweet and eager to learn. They were still young enough to idolise their teacher. On Friday, one of the little boys burst out crying. Chrissie hugged him and asked him, “What is wrong Josh?”

  Little Josh replied between sobs, “I have been here for so many days and I can’t read yet.”

  Chrissie had to force herself not to laugh, “Josh it takes many more days to learn to read, we first have to finish learning the alphabet.”

  Chrissie decided to call her dad. He was very happy to hear from her, “How are you pumpkin?” She lied, “I am very well daddy.”

  He did not sound very convincing when he said, “I am sorry but you know how your mother is. She just wants the best for you.”

  She replied, “Dad, Sajan is the best for me. He is such a good man. Please speak to Mom.”

  He promised, “I will try but she gets very cross. I tried to call you but your Mother cancelled your cell phone contract. I will save this number.”

  Chrissie wondered if her dad would actually ever call her. He would do anything to keep peace at home. He had never stood up to her mother in the past. She remembered her mother drilling her on how to walk, how to talk, how to dress, how to eat, all the bloody time. She was barely out of nappies but her mother was not ready to let her be a little girl, instead she wanted a carbon “Stepford child.” If she had not had her friends and her granny, she wondered how she would have coped with everything.

  She remembered when her granny died, her mom instead of showing love and sympathy, kept saying, “Christine, stop sobbing like that, it is not dignified. Pull yourself together, what will people think if they see you? Go and fix your hair and makeup immediately.”

  Chrissie settled into a routine. After school was finished, she would prepare the classroom for the next day. By the time she got to her dingy little room she was so tired that she slept surprisingly well and even the sound of crying babies did not wake her up. The two bathrooms that the 40 plus occupants had to share were in a disgusting state so she would only use them if absolutely necessary.

  On Wednesday morning, she woke up and planned to go to the gym. But when she got to her car she found that all the tyres were all gone. They had been stolen in the night. There was no way that she could replace them. She wanted to sit on the side of the road and cry, but there was no time for self-pity. Fortunately neither the school nor the gym was too far from her home. She put her clothes and everything she needed into a tog bag. She ran to the gym and got there in 20 minutes. She took a very fast shower and then walked briskly to the school.

  She made it on time but was rather breathless. Now that she knew that she had to walk every day, she started getting up very early.

  Mrs Rose observed, “Where is your car dear?”

  Chrissie answered, “It is in the garage for repairs. I am getting a lift now.”

  Sajan finally called her on Thursday with good news, “I am getting off from work early on Friday, can we meet straight away, the two weeks away from you have been a torture.”

  Chrissie replied, “Pick me up at the school, I will pack a bag for the weekend, I am getting a lift at the moment, my car is broken.”

  On Friday, Sajan picked her up at the school and they went straight to his flat. Chrissie mused, “My life has become full of contrast, Sajan would be shocked if he saw my room which is smaller than his bathroom.”

  On Saturday afternoon they were lying on the couch watching a movie when Sajan asked, “Chrissie why have you not introduced me to your parents yet? I want to take you to Durban soon to meet my parents. I just get the impression that you keep making excuses.”

  Chrissie crossed her fingers and answered,
“Sajan, my dad has been travelling abroad a lot for work and my mom goes with him. He is going to be travelling a lot for the next couple of months but as soon as they are back, I will take you to meet them.” She hated being dishonest.

  Sajan kissed her, “I was worried that you maybe did not feel quite as strongly about me as I do about you.”

  Chrissie said, “Sajan I love you and I have never said that to any of my previous boyfriends.”

  Sajan pretended to be horrified, “I thought I was your first boyfriend.”

  Chrissie teased back, “And obviously I am your first girlfriend.”

  On Monday morning, Sajan dropped Chrissie off at the school. Chrissie hated lying to Sajan but she pretended that there was serious trouble with her car and that the mechanic was waiting for a part that had to arrive from overseas.

  Three weeks later, when Sajan picked her up from the school he said to her, “We are going on a trip.”

  Chrissie asked, “Are we going to Cape Town to visit Steph?”

  Sajan laughed, “No somewhere else.”

  They again took the Gautrain to the airport. This time they boarded a plane headed for Durban. Chrissie said to Sajan, “You are taking me to meet your family.”

  Sajan nodded, “Smart girl, they have all been nagging me to bring you, especially my mom.”

  At the airport Chrissie was overwhelmed. It seemed that Sajan’s entire family had come to greet them. Mrs Singh, Sajan’s mother, hugged her, “Sajan has told me so much about you, I feel as if I know you already. He was taking his time about bringing you here. I wanted to come and visit you in Johannesburg but Sajan’s father hates travelling.”

  Chrissie discovered that Sajan’s mother was the chattiest, warmest and bubbliest person she had ever met. She welcomed Chrissie into her home. Chrissie met Sajan’s two brothers, Ameet and Naraj, who were still in high school. Mrs Singh told Chrissie that she had always wanted a daughter. She had started worrying if Sajan was ever going to get a serious girlfriend. She treated Chrissie as if she were her own daughter. Chrissie realised how much she missed having a mother. If felt wonderful to have a mother figure again. Mrs Singh fell in love with her son’s girlfriend instantly; she decided that she was going to do everything in her power to make sure that Chrissie would become her daughter-in-law.

  Chrissie asked Mrs Singh, “Are you not unhappy that you son has brought home a white, non-Hindu girl?”

  Mrs Singh replied, “It does not worry me, all I ever wanted is for my son to find a girl who will treat him well. I can see that Sajan has found somebody wonderful and I am happy.”

  Sajan hardly saw Chrissie while they were in Durban because Mrs Singh kept taking her out to do girl stuff. They went for manicures. Mrs Singh bought Chrissie jewellery, new clothes and shoes refusing to listen to her protests. She sighed, “Boys are so boring to shop for.”

  Sajan’s younger brothers were very shy in Chrissie’s presence. After a few hours, when they realised how easy to speak to she was, they were chatting to her as if she was their sister. Both boys were obsessed with IT. When they chatted to their brother about the latest developments in computers, Chrissie ran away to chat to Sajan’s mother.

  A few hours before they had to leave for the airport on Sunday, Mrs Singh took Sajan aside. She hugged him, “My son I am very happy with your choice, Chrissie is perfect for you. When the time is right I want you to give this to her. I bought her a ring so that I would know what size her finger is. This ring will fit her perfectly. Mrs Singh gave her son her grandmother’s beautiful engagement ring.”

  Sajan kissed his mother on her forehead, “Thank you mom, I hope very soon we will be coming back for our engagement party.”

  The entire family went to the airport to say good bye to them. Chrissie loved the feeling of having a family that cared for her. She thought to herself, “I have lost my own family but I have a wonderful new family.” Her dad occasionally called her from work. Her mom pretended that she did not exist. Apparently she was telling all her friends that Chrissie had moved abroad.

  Chrissie was getting used to her rags to riches routine. During the week the she would often be at the gym when it opened at 5am simply because she could not bear to use the bathroom in the house that she lived in. She bought the cheapest food. The kitchen in the house was filthy so she bought only what did not need cooking. Once a week she would treat herself to a takeaway, she craved cooked food. Every time that Sajan had to work a weekend, and that was often, she would get terribly depressed. Being in the squalid little room during the week was bad enough but it felt like torture on weekends.

  Chrissie had always been slender but because she was eating very little and walking a lot she started to get thinner and thinner. Sajan did not notice the change at first. One Friday night, after they had made love and he was lying next to her, caressing her body, he realised that instead of gentle curves he was feeling bones. He started to worry. He asked, “Chrissie are you sick.”

  She replied, “No, there is nothing wrong with me, why?”

  He looked concerned, “You have become very thin and your bones are sticking out.”

  Chrissie fibbed, “Genetics, the women in my family have it the wrong way round. Instead of getting plumper as we get older, we get thinner.”

  Sajan was silent; he was thinking that a lot of things were not adding up lately. For the past two months she kept claiming that her car was being repaired. She was getting thinner and thinner. Her clothes were starting to look worn out except for the clothes that his mom had bought her. She had been wearing the same things over and over again. It had taken a while for him realise all these things, being a guy he was not very perceptive regarding clothing and appearance. She had always been so energetic but now on the weekends that they spent together, she slept most of the time. She told him that the children were sapping her energy. She was always extremely hungry when she arrived at his flat. There were always excuses about why he could not meet her parents. He was sure something was very wrong but he would have to wait for her to tell him what it was. It made him sad that she did not trust him enough to confide in him.

  That night they went to meet Sajan’s friends at a pub. They had not gone out with them since December. His friend Rick asked him, “Bro what is wrong with Chrissie, she isn’t looking well?” Sajan realised that if his friends were noticing it, he was not imagining things. He decided to call Steph and tell her about his concerns.

  Chrissie was exhausted and depressed. One of the babies in the house was teething and had been crying most of the night every night for days. Her car had been standing in the drive for three months without tyres. More bits and pieces had been stolen off it. Even if she could afford tyres she would not be able to afford to replace everything that had been stolen off it. She wanted to confide in Sajan, but she was too embarrassed because she had been lying to him for so long.

  Monday morning she called her dad as it was his birthday. Her mom overheard the call; she grabbed the phone from her husband and shouted into the phone. “Don’t call here again. You are nothing to us!”

  The afternoon when Steph called her, she had the impression that Sajan must have asked her to call. She tried to sound cheery.

  After speaking to Chrissie, Steph was worried. Chrissie tried to sound cheerful but she knew her too well, something was very wrong. Sajan had told her about all the things that were not adding up. Steph emailed Ashton and told her that she was worried about Chrissie.

  Ashton mailed her back and told her that perhaps she should call Chrissie’s mom and ask her if she knew what was going on with Chrissie. Steph emailed back, “Seriously? Mrs Carter, she would be the last one to know what is going on with her daughter and Mr Carter is so bloody timid he probably won’t speak to me, but if I don’t find out what is wrong any other way, I am going to try to get a hold of him.”

  Sajan decided that to take Chrissie to Cape Town over the weekend. Steph would speak to her and try to find out what was happening.r />
  On Tuesday morning Chrissie tripped over a child’s school bag and went hurtling down the stairs. Her leg snapped back and as she landed she heard bones cracking. The pain was terrible and she passed out.

  The school called an ambulance. She was rushed to Sandton Clinic. The school secretary checked her records and saw that Sajan was listed to be contacted in case of an emergency. She called Sajan who left work immediately and raced to the hospital. When he arrived at Sandton clinic, Mrs Rose introduced herself. He asked her, “Where are Chrissie’s parents?”

  Mrs Rose said, “The school secretary said that Chrissie only listed you to contact in case of an emergency. Apparently workman’s compensation will cover the medical costs because it is a work injury.”

  Sajan said, “Mrs Rose, if anything additional needs to be paid, I will pay it. I don’t understand why she did not leave any details for her parents.”