All My Love (All #5)

by Natalie Ann

  Looking out the window again, she decided to take a walk around the neighborhood instead. It would feel refreshing.

  Pushing back from her chair, she slid her feet into her flip-flops, grabbed her fleece pullover off the hook and opened the door. There were neighbors outside working in their yard in jeans and T-shirts, but she was still chilly.

  She walked down the street and then turned the corner, then another street and found herself in front of Drew’s house. She wondered when he’d move in. He had a lot more work to do. The downstairs apartment was almost done, so he could move in if he wanted to.

  Really though, she’d like him to move in with her, only she wasn’t sure how to ask.

  She knew he loved her, but maybe he wasn’t ready for that type of commitment. Maybe he wasn’t ready to live with a woman. She knew he never had before.

  This last month since they came back from Atlanta, her life felt different. Nothing had really changed, other than the information she had now. She was still doing the same job, she and Drew were still going strong, but she felt different.

  She felt lighter. Having that knowledge of her past had helped, even though it didn’t change a thing in her life. It couldn’t bring her mother back, and it wouldn’t have changed anything in her life if she knew beforehand. She firmly believed that now.

  Walking by Drew’s house, she circled around, turned the corner to head back home and saw a big black SUV in her driveway. As she got closer, she recognized Ben.

  “Hi,” she said. “What brings you here in the middle of the day?”

  “It’s Presley’s day off. I took some time off and we came to visit my mother. Do you have a few minutes?”

  “Sure. Come on in.” She thought he was following behind her, but when she turned back, he was pulling a box out of the back. “What’s that?”

  “You’ll see.”

  He followed her into the living room and set the box down on the floor.

  Drew had filled Ben in on everything when they returned. Even with the extra information, Ben hadn’t been able to find anything else on the Triple H Haven and she told him to stop looking.

  There was nothing more to find in her eyes. She had the family she needed right here in Saratoga. There was no reason to step foot back in Texas.

  Ben sat on the couch and reached forward. He opened the box and pulled out an old T-shirt and handed it to her. “What’s this for?”

  “It was Trent’s. Patty sent me this box last week filled with some of Trent’s belongings.”

  “You’re kidding me. Why would she do that?”

  “Maybe she had a crisis of conscience.” He shrugged and laughed. “I really don’t know. Knowing Patty, she did it in a moment, sent it out and then wished she hadn’t. I’m not going to question her, though.”

  “Have you been through the box?” she asked as he started to pull more things out.

  “Yeah. I went through it when it arrived. There was no note, no message, just Patty’s return address. I hope you don’t mind.”

  She didn’t know why he would think she would. “Not at all.” She pulled a baseball hat forward and looked at it. He took it out of her hands and placed it on her head. “Do you know what this was from?”

  “Yeah. Trent bought it when we were stationed in Hawaii. He wanted a keepsake from there.”

  “So it really doesn’t have a special meaning from his childhood?” she asked.

  “No, not really. It was from adulthood,” he said, looking a little confused over her question.

  She took it off her head and put it on his. “It’s for you. He bought it when you two were together. You should have it. It’d mean a lot to me if you kept it.”

  “Thanks, Jordyn.”

  “You’re welcome, Ben. Let’s go through this stuff together.”

  In the end, Ben walked away with a few things that really had no special meaning to Trent’s childhood, but meant something to Ben. That was probably the reason Patty sent them to Ben. They were things that would remind her of his time in the Navy, time that Patty was resentful of.

  Jordyn kept Trent’s gold chain on her desk in her office. At first, she wasn’t sure where to put it, then realized that she wanted it where she would see it the most. Where she could look up and be reminded of him.

  Whenever she was struggling with work, she’d shift her eyes, see it hanging on the corner of one of her monitors, the sun reflecting off of it, and smile. She wasn’t sure why; she didn’t know Trent personally, but something about that chain made her smile. Maybe because it was so thick and gaudy, and Ben said Trent was kind of corny.

  “Are you sure you don’t want any pictures?”

  There was a photo album inside with a mixture of pictures of Trent from childhood all the way to adulthood. Even a few pictures of him and Ben.

  “I’ve got some on my computer and one hanging in Chad’s room. A picture of Trent in uniform, the day we became Navy SEALs.”

  “I bet that’s a good picture. A happy one.”

  “It was. It makes me laugh when I look at it.”

  “I’d like to see it sometime,” she said.

  He pulled his phone out, scrolled through and pulled it up. “I keep it on my phone too.”

  She took his phone out of his hand and looked at the picture of Ben and Trent in their formal uniforms. Trent’s arm around Ben, both of them laughing into the camera.

  There was a carefree look to Trent, no bitterness, nothing to indicate he was a man who didn’t have a father in his life. “He looks so happy.”

  “He was. So different from his parents. I don’t know where he got it from, Jordyn. I wish I knew, but it wasn’t his mother and it sounds like it wasn’t from his biological father.”

  No, Trent showed no signs of his parents. “I don’t think I have much of my father either. I mean, I might not laugh and smile as much as Trent seemed to, but I’ve felt I’ve been happy in life.”

  “You know, Jordyn, you turned out pretty well without a father in your life. Don’t start doubting things that might have been. Just live your life for today.”

  She thought back to how she told herself she was going to do that. She was going to start living for herself, and appreciating the life in front of her.

  “I am. And I’ll continue to do that.”

  After Ben left, she thought back to what he said about living her life for today. She really was doing that, and had been for months. Long before she even found out about Trent, let alone Brandon and Katy.

  As much as she really wanted to get to know them, she wasn’t holding her breath. What her mother and Betsy went through was short of hell. She knew there were things Betsy didn’t tell her. She’d seen it in her eyes and forced herself not to ask. As much as she researched everything, always wanting to know what she could, she was truthful when she told Ben to stop looking.

  Deep down, she really didn’t want to know about the Triple H Haven either. It was obvious her mother wanted to shield her from that part of her life and Jordyn was thankful for it.

  She was somewhat thankful for Tim too. Not that he was a good man, a good husband or even a good father, but that he kept his word and returned for her mother and Betsy. At a time when they had given up hope, he came back.

  No, he didn’t make the best decisions in life. Not at all. But he made the right decision at the most important time. He gave Libby and Betsy their freedom, hence insuring the freedom of their children.

  “Working hard?”

  Jordyn turned her head when Drew walked in the door. She’d lost track of time again. After Ben left, she’d driven to the development, snapped some pictures, and then came home to finish up more work. “Not really.”

  “You’re lying. You always work too hard.”

  “Look who’s talking,” she said, smiling back at him. “Not going to work on your house tonight?”

  “I thought maybe you wouldn’t mind coming with me after dinner. You’re pretty handy to have around at times. You
did a good job painting here, would you mind giving me a hand tonight?”

  “I can do that.” She looked at the clock and took note it was earlier than normal for him. “Let me just make a quick dinner first.”

  “I’ll help you. I can’t wait to get over and get to work.”

  Epilogue

  They’d been there for a few hours painting and Drew was starting to sweat. He’d been planning this for almost a week and still wasn’t sure what to say or how to handle it.

  Then he found out Ben stopped over today and dropped off some stuff of Trent’s. As much as he was thrilled for Jordyn that she got some more things of her brother’s and heard more stories about him, he was bummed because she seemed so focused on that.

  Not that he could blame her. He was happy for her in that respect.

  Happy that she was learning about Trent and had found out so much about her past. He firmly believed some day she might meet Brandon and Katy too.

  He’d been debating reaching out to Betsy and trying to talk to her about it again, but decided not to. The last time he did something without Jordyn’s knowledge hadn’t worked out so well for him. He was learning.

  He looked over and saw Jordyn starting to roll her shoulders. “Getting tired?”

  “A little. I was sitting at my desk for most of the day. I did manage a quick walk, but now my arms are starting to cramp.”

  “Let’s take a break then.” It seemed like perfect timing to him, and the best way to lead into what was making him nervous. She set the roller down and moved her neck side to side. “Let’s get some fresh air.”

  He grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the front door and up the stairs to the other apartment.

  “Where are we going? I thought you wanted air.”

  “We’re getting air, don’t worry.” He pulled her through the apartment, to the back bedroom and out to the deck, under the stars. “Look up. What do you see?”

  She laughed. “Stars.”

  “Yeah, but see those two bright ones over there?” She turned her head to where he was pointing and nodded. “Remember when you asked if what we had was ordinary?”

  “Yes.”

  “It’s not. It wasn’t then, and it isn’t now. It’s better than ordinary, don’t you think?”

  She smiled at him tenderly, and he felt his heart melt. He saw the love in her eyes; he’d been seeing it for months. “You’re right. It’s not, and it’s better. Then again, I’ve always been a little odd. Maybe even a little corny.”

  He laughed when she said that. It was true actually, another trait she shared with Trent. “Back to the stars. I think those two bright ones are our moms.”

  “What?” she shrieked.

  He didn’t like the look in her eyes. Confusion for sure, mixed in with uncertainty, and he started to lose his nerve.

  “Looking down on us. I’d like to believe they’re watching us. Maybe that’s them together right now, looking at us.”

  She looked back up at the stars, paused for a second, and said, “That’s a nice thought. I wonder if they’d get along.”

  “My mother got along with everyone. Trust me, no worries there.” He took her by the shoulders and turned her to face him. “Every day I love you more and more. I need you more and more.”

  Her eyes started to fill, but she was smiling, so he continued on. “I can’t imagine my life without you. I don’t even want to consider that. I know we haven’t known each other long, but I feel like in the last six months we’ve been through a lot together.”

  “We have,” she said back, starting to sniffle a little.

  He took a deep breath and reached into his pocket. “Life’s short. We both know that. No one knows what tomorrow will bring, so I want to take advantage of today. I want to spend the rest of my tomorrows with you. I want to have children with you and I want to love you more each day.”

  “Oh my God.”

  He paused, not knowing if that was a good or bad thing she just said, but he’d come this far, so he had to continue now. “Will you marry me?”

  She looked down at the ring he was sliding onto her finger. “It’s another star. I mean it’s not a star, but it’s sparkling like one.”

  “Is that a yes or no?” Why hadn’t she answered him yet? He was starting to shake now. Maybe she was going to say no.

  “Yes! I’m sorry. I thought I answered. I mean, I answered in my head and I thought I said it out loud, but I guess I didn’t.”

  She launched herself into his arms, held him tight, and kissed him hard on the lips.

  “No. For once you didn’t say it out loud.”

  Of all the times she’d blurted things out without thought, the most important one to him, she didn’t.

  “We were meant to be,” she said out of the blue.

  “I’d like to think so.”

  “No, really. Just today, I was walking by your house and wondering when you were going to move in, and wishing that I had the courage to ask you to move in with me instead.”

  “You have more courage than anyone I know. But really? Today you were thinking that?” He shouldn’t have been surprised, but was. It seemed they were more alike than he’d thought.

  “I was. I was trying to figure out the right way to ask you.”

  “Were you going to research it on the computer?” he asked, grinning. She blushed. “You did, didn’t you?”

  “Yes,” she said, squeezing his waist affectionately. “But this is even better.”

  “It is,” he agreed with her. “I can move into your house this weekend if you’d like. And I can build you the deck I promised off the bedroom and we can look at these two stars, our mothers, anytime we want.”

  “I’d love that. Almost as much as I love you.”

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  The All Series

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