Charlotte & Nate (Royals of Valleria #4)

by Marianne Knightly

  “We had an accident, both of us thrown from the car before it tumbled over the edge of a cliff. If I hadn’t gotten our seatbelts off in time, we both would have gone over with it.” He gripped her hand tighter.

  “After I was flung from the car, I ended up falling against some rocks and bashed my head. I was knocked unconscious immediately. If only I’d driven more carefully or watched where I had been going …” The sentence was left unfinished and thick with regret.

  “When I came to, she was lying under some rocks. Before the car skidded, apparently it crashed against the mountain and jarred some of the rocks above, causing an avalanche. She was barely breathing. She kept trying to say something but could only gasp for air. When I managed to shift some of the rocks away, she let out a long, keening wail. I’ll never forget it. It still haunts me.” His words cracked, but he cleared his throat and continued.

  Oh my God. “Nate.”

  “She also happened to be the daughter of another leader, Germany’s Chancellor at the time. Her death strained relations between not only two families, but two countries as well. It was a difficult time, to say the least.” He paused, staring off into an unknown space where she couldn’t follow.

  “I was going to marry her. That’s why I’d planned that trip. None of us ever missed a royal Vallerian holiday. I was the first one to do it, and my father was dead against it. He knew what I had planned and didn’t approve – not of me or of her – and worried about the political complications of it all. We said some things to each other. I don’t know if we’ve forgiven each other for that yet.”

  “Of course he’s forgiven you, if there’s anything to forgive. I don’t know much about fathers, but any of us can see how much he cares for you.”

  “Maybe. I could almost believe that after our meeting today.” Nate shook his head. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

  “Of course it matters. You’re still hurting. You must have really loved her.”

  “I thought I did. For years I thought what I felt for her was it. We would have had a good life, I think, if she’d lived.”

  Her eyes locked with his, which were dry but heavy with the loss he carried. “I feel something when I see you, Charlotte. Something different. I haven’t felt anything different in ten years.”

  She blinked, her mouth falling slightly open. “I’m not sure what to say to that.”

  “Don’t say anything. I can’t explain it. I thought I’d never be able to feel again. I tried for years.”

  She swallowed. “The women?”

  “Yes. I kept looking for someone, anyone to make me feel again.”

  Her hand, still resting over his heart, felt the pulse beating underneath. “Earlier, in the kitchen with your mother, you said that you almost didn’t come back to Valleria. What did you mean?”

  “I left Valleria after Angela died. I dropped out of university and spent the majority of my time in France. When I was summoned back for family or royal events, I came, and then left again. I eventually finished my degree without stepping foot on campus again; the privileges of being a royal, I suppose. When my father called me back a few months ago, I knew he was hoping I’d stay long-term.”

  She didn’t know why a shiver of fear gripped her. “Are you? Staying long-term?”

  Nate’s hand tightened on hers as it rested against his chest. “I’m seriously considering it.”

  “For me?”

  Nate nodded. “Partially. It’s also for me, too. I might just be ready to rejoin the land of the living.”

  His sweater-covered chest felt warm and soothing underneath her hand, and his soft hand warmed hers above it. Her hand was completely covered and consumed by his; she was a little addicted and terrified to the feeling. Because fear was currently trumping anything else, she pulled her hand away.

  Nate grabbed it and brought it to his lips. “What are you thinking?”

  Too much. “If your parents didn’t approve the daughter of another country’s leader, why would they ever consider me appropriate? Your mother certainly didn’t.”

  He rested her hand on his chest again, and this time the addictive feeling won out over the fear. “My parents have learned their lesson. They chose duty before family before; they won’t do it again. Why else do you think my father was so receptive to Rebecca? She’s a commoner, but my parents have learned it’s best to let our hearts go where they will.”

  “But didn’t Rebecca’s father know yours, or something like that?”

  “That’s true, they are friends. None of that mattered when he saw the love in Alex’s eyes for Rebecca. My parents love each other, quite deeply. I think my experience paved the way for the rest of my siblings.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, it wasn’t just our relationships they put up with, though they did. Arianna was seeing someone quite seriously and, though my father never approved of him, he kept his mouth shut about it. Her relationship didn’t turn out so well in the end, so I’m sure he wishes he’d spoken up now. Besides that, there were our careers.”

  “How so?”

  “Carolina, for example, was never interested in formality or structure. She was always a quiet spirit yearning to be free. She’s now a brilliant artist; I don’t know that my father would have approved her vocation otherwise.”

  Charlie’s forehead crinkled. “But don’t you all work for the crown, so to speak?”

  “Yes, that’s true, but most of us have found our own way to do it. It was really only Alex who didn’t have a choice, and Cat didn’t have much of one either until Rebecca came into the picture as Alex’s future bride.”

  “Cat?”

  “Oh.” Nate chuckled, and she felt the vibrations of it against her legs. “My sister, Catharine. ‘Cat’ is her nickname.”

  “Oh, of course. I should have realized.”

  “You should have realized something else, too.”

  “What’s that?”

  “I want you.”

  Did he feel the way her gut just tightened at his words? “Oh?”

  He shifted to sit up, his broad shoulders and lean body blocking any view but of him. “Is that really so surprising?”

  She shook her head. “I suppose it’s not. You have mentioned it before.”

  “What I meant was, that I want you, and I don’t give a damn what my parents have to say. I don’t think they’ll fight me on this.” After a pointed look from her, Nate added, “Well, they won’t fight me anymore on this.”

  The tips of his fingers came up to brush her lips. She hadn’t put any gloss or lipstick on them, leaving them bare. She never wore them on a daily basis and just didn’t think about them tonight.

  “Can I taste you, Charlotte?” His voice was raspy, dangerous. She’d spent her whole life fleeing danger and now seemed to be running straight towards it.

  “I don’t just mean your lips. I want to taste every inch of your sweet skin.” He bent forward to lick a spot just behind her ear. “I want to drown in you, Charlotte. Please, may I drown in you?”

  Her breath was coming in short bursts, from just a few short words, but the tingling heat below was still absent. Could he help her? Why not run into the madness, into him? Why not pretend her life was different, if it could leave her with what was likely to be a heat-inducing memory? “Only if I can return the favor, and taste you back.”

  He moaned and gave her a hard, lip-numbing kiss. In the next second, she was lying flat on the couch, his body dwarfing hers. “Wait,” she breathed out while his lips caressed her collarbone.

  His head popped up, and she caught a glimpse of stormy eyes and restraint. “Change your mind so soon?”

  She looked away, couldn’t bear to see him while she confessed one of her darkest secrets. “No, I just need to tell you something first.”

  He turned her face to meet his. “Just say it, Charlie,” he said softly. “Don’t hide yourself from me.”

  She swallowed. “I’ve always had trouble. In situations
like this. Before.”

  He shifted away from her and she felt familiar rejection and shame. Why couldn’t she just feel what a woman was supposed to feel when having sex? When she moved to sit, then stand, he kept her on the couch. “Don’t run away. I’m not.”

  She turned her head and saw him sitting there patiently, no judgment in his eyes. “You’re not?”

  “Tell me.”

  Two words that filled her with terror. She stared straight ahead, her hands fisted in the edge of her dress. When she spoke, her words were stilted with unnatural pauses. “I have trouble becoming … excited. I’m broken, you see,” she ended on a whisper.

  She sensed him shift on the couch and started when his arm came around her and pulled her against him. She had no choice but to look into his eyes.

  “You’re not broken, Charlie. You’re just going to make me work harder for it, that’s all.”

  She pushed away, shaking her head as she stood. She wrapped her arms around herself, suddenly feeling cold. “It won’t matter what you do. Don’t you think other men have tried before?”

  Too lost in her own words, she didn’t see the jealous flash in his eyes, or when he got up and stood behind her. His hands rubbed her arms, but the chill remained. “I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, Charlotte dear, but I would only be too happy if you never mentioned other men in my presence ever again.”

  She whirled around, her heart stuttering at being called ‘dear’ – she never thought she would be dear to anyone but Lola – to find a rueful smile on Nate’s face. “I’m only telling the truth. It won’t matter what you do. You can’t help me. If we try, you’ll be disappointed, then angry, then you’ll just leave. So, you may as well leave now.”

  He stalked closer and Charlie stepped back. “But we haven’t even had dinner yet. Though I think we’ll start with dessert.” Further and further Nate pursued her until her back came against the wall. “What do you use?”

  “What do you mean?”

  His hands came to rest on either side of her head, his palms flat against the wall. “When you’re alone and you want to become aroused, what do you use? A vibrator?”

  She’d never talked of such things before, never mentioned them to anyone. This time, her reaction was swift as her face burned darker than a raspberry.

  “You can just nod if you’re too shy to say it.” His mouth curved in an indulgent smile. “My Charlotte, so shy. I never thought I’d see it.” He pressed his hips against hers, and she gasped at the hard ridge she felt. “Well? Do you use a vibrator?”

  She nodded, unable to do much else.

  “Where is it? Your bedroom?”

  When she nodded again, his palms shifted down the wall towards her waist. Her hands remained twisted in the skirt of her dress.

  “Then let’s go get it. I have a feeling I could make you feel very ‘excited’, as it were.”

  “Nate,” she said, shaking her head. “I just don’t know.”

  “I do.” His hands covered hers and used them to shift the hem of her dress up. The cotton suddenly felt abrasive against her skin. “Let’s go.”

  He picked her up by her thighs and flung her over his shoulder like a sack of flour. “Nate,” she squealed. “Put me down.”

  “In a minute.” He made his way through the small rooms to her adequately furnished bedroom. She’d gone for function over form and so the bed was covered with basic sheets and a plain comforter. Her pulse left thinking he must be used to superior thread count sheets, maybe even decadent silk. Would he find it lacking? Would he find her lacking? So many others had.

  Despite his Neanderthal way of carrying her, he laid her gently on the bed. “What side of the bed do you sleep on?” he asked while his eyes raked the naked expanse of her toned thighs; one of the best things about working in a kitchen was the constant movement and walking around; she got a workout every day without having to go to a gym.

  “I sleep on this side,” Charlie said, indicating the side on which he’d laid her down.

  A wicked gleam came to his eyes as he eyed the nightstand beside her. She held her breath while he turned on a lamp, casting the room in a soft glow, and opened the drawer, giving the items within a critical glance. She wanted to look away, but couldn’t. Her gaze was transfixed as he pulled out her long, slim vibrator and tube of lubrication gel.

  Mortified. It was the only word she could think to describe herself at that moment. She turned on the bed, away from him. He was a prince, damn it; he deserved better.

  She felt the bed dip as he sat, felt the gentle touch of his hand on her bare shoulder guiding her to face him again. “Who hurt you, Charlie?”

  Who hadn’t? “It doesn’t matter.”

  “It does. If you’re waiting for me to laugh at you or tease you, you’ll be waiting until the end of eternity. This is fairly common, you know.”

  A common problem for a plain, common woman. She doubted the sophisticated socialites he had been with had the same issue. “That doesn’t make it any easier.”

  He brushed some of her hair away, letting it fan out on her pillow. “No, I don’t suppose it does. Do you trust me? I’d never hurt you, you know.”

  Her hands fisted involuntarily, and his eyes darted to the movement. “I’m not good with trust.”

  “Well, I’m good at this.” He leaned forward until his forehead touched hers. His hair cascaded down around them, and it felt as though they were locked away in their own little world. “And I think I could be good for you. Will you let me try?”

  But was she good for him in turn? She didn’t think so, but the urge to try something with him was growing. He had trusted her with his past and his feelings; she had the feeling he didn’t trust easily, either.

  So, yes, she wanted to trust him. Yes, she wanted him to try. Yes, she wanted to feel normal for once, whatever that was. “Yes,” she said, and sealed her fate.

  His lips started with a slow, searing kiss, while his hand shifted to her feet. He pushed off her shoes, his lips never missing a beat.

  His hand continued up her leg, caressing softly until he reached the edge of her dress. She stiffened and he paused. His tongue continued its languorous exploration of her mouth until she relaxed again.

  “Bend your knees, Charlotte.” His voice was husky, the way she’d always imagined an aroused male would sound. The other men she’d been with had been almost angry during their times together, giving up on her release to find their own before leaving her forever. This was different, felt different.

  She didn’t feel that tingle of heat at her core that she’d heard other women talk about, not yet, anyway. But she did feel surprisingly safe, and almost cherished.

  More addictive, and terrifying, feelings.

  ***

  With her knees bent, Nate shifted on the bed between them. He kept his eyes locked on hers, which were hiding some unreadable expression. Was she afraid? Nervous? He wasn’t sure what to do to set her mind at ease, so he decided to just show her how much he cared.

  He set down the vibrator and gel on the bed and placed a hand on each leg. Her skin was like pale silk as he slid down from her knees to the edge of her simple, black dress. As he pushed it down towards her waist, a pair of plain, black underwear came into view. He never knew just how the simple could arouse him, as it was now. He’d become used to the fancy and flimsy – much too used to it, he could see now.

  He continued to shift his hands down and underneath her dress to her hips. When she tensed, he decided a little game might help her relax. “Why don’t I make a deal with you?”

  “A deal?”

  He nodded. “Every time you lose a piece of clothing, I lose one, too.”

  “But you already took my shoes off.”

  A grin split his face. “So I have. Best if we start on even ground then, isn’t it?” He pushed off his shoes and socks, but didn’t stop there. He drew his sweater off and tossed it away, leaving him bare-chested. While he shook his hair out, she
bit her lip and glanced down his body.

  “But now we’re not even.”

  “You’re not wearing pants like I am, Charlotte dear,” he said as his hands resumed their position underneath her dress. “So, I’d say we’re even.” He lowered his head between her legs and took a deep breath. There was a scent that was uniquely hers, but he could tell she wasn’t wet yet. He pressed a kiss to her underwear, causing her hips to jump.

  Picking up the vibrator, he took a quick look at the settings and decided to start low. He wanted to build her up and watch her fall over the peak, again and again. He would need patience for that, which he found he could easily muster for her.