The Walls of Westernfort

by Jane Fletcher

  The burning logs mesmerized her, recalling the sight of Himoti’s sacred flame burning in the temple the night she had accepted the mission. If she could go back and talk to herself, what would she say? What could she say? How could she even begin to explain things to the young soldier who had knelt before the shrine? Natasha was not the same person anymore. She had lost her certainties, her dreams, her innocence. And what had she gained in their place? It’s a bit late to start working out what I want to do with my life.

  Aloud, the rambling conversation of faltering question-and-answer continued while Dani covertly cleared the piles of rubbish. Natasha was half aware of the activity and half aware that her subdued manner was going to be noticed soon. She knew that she ought to be more alert but could not drag her thoughts into the present. Any attempt at acting her part had gone.

  “Are you sure you’re all right?” Dani put down the things she was holding and stepped to Natasha’s side.

  “Oh...yes.” Natasha knew her words sounded too unconvincing to be considered a lie.

  “What’s wrong?” Dani caught hold of Natasha’s arm and pulled her around so that they were facing.

  Natasha looked into Dani’s eyes and saw there a place where she could lose her thoughts, her pain, her soul. I’m going to die tomorrow. What does it matter? Natasha lifted her hands and placed them on either side of Dani’s waist. Dani’s expression was still caught in confusion, but then Natasha slipped her hands up Dani’s back, pulling her close. Her lips claimed Dani’s in a kiss.

  At first, Dani was frozen in surprise, but she melted quickly, leaning against Natasha. Her arms wrapped around Natasha’s back, clinging to her shoulders. For a while, they explored the softness of each other’s mouths. Natasha gave her entire being over, letting raw desire obliterate all reason, all doubts. She ceased to think, but after a while, Dani’s body stiffened, and she gently pushed them apart.

  Her eyes searched Natasha’s face. “Why do I suddenly feel this is a bad idea?”

  Natasha’s spirits crashed, but it was all she deserved. “Do you want me to leave?”

  “I never said I was going to be sensible. I just...” Dani’s words died, while her questioning eyes continued to stare at Natasha. Then she placed her hand on the back of Natasha’s head and pulled Natasha’s mouth hard against her own.

  The surging passion of the kiss swept over Natasha, blotting out the past and the future. Tomorrow ceased to exist. She slid her hands down Dani’s back and then lower, pressing their hips together. She felt Dani shaking and realized that her own legs were none too steady. She broke away. “I need to sit down.”

  Dani buried her face in Natasha’s neck and murmured, “I can go one better than that.”

  Dani guided Natasha backward across the room until her knees hit the side of the bed and she collapsed on the quilt. Natasha had no complaints. She swiveled around so that her head was on the pillow. Immediately, Dani was lying beside her, holding her close, mouth traveling in a wandering kiss from Natasha’s eyes to her ears and along her jaw. Natasha found herself nuzzling Dani’s hand, using lips and tongue to study the shape of fingers and knuckles—hands strong and skillful from working the clay.

  Abruptly, Dani half rose, climbing onto Natasha so that she was sitting astride Natasha’s hips, pinning her against the mattress. Her eyes met Natasha’s, holding her motionless on the bed with the intensity of the gaze. Dani’s hand moved to the fastening at her own neck.

  In silence, Natasha watched as the buttons were loosened one by one. She waited for both shirt and undershirt to be removed; then she lifted her hands to cup Dani’s breasts. Dani’s neck arched so that her face was toward the ceiling. A long, high whimper sounded from the back of her throat. Natasha braced an elbow on the bed and pushed herself up, curling, until her mouth could reach Dani’s breasts; her lips opened around a nipple. Dani’s arms wrapped around Natasha’s shoulders, holding her in place, but their balance was unstable, and they both fell to the bed, clinging together.

  Natasha had no memory of undressing, but their clothes were gone, and they both lay between the sheets, arms and legs entwined. Dani’s fingers lightly ran over Natasha, teasing every nerve in her body in waves that rippled beneath her skin. Dani’s eyes were closed, and her mouth was open. Harsh breaths rasped between her lips. “Jess. Oh, Jess.”

  The false name hit like a kick to Natasha’s stomach, driving the air from her lungs. She covered Dani’s mouth with her own to silence the sound, closing her eyes tightly to hold in the tears. The words leapt through her head: Dani, I’ve lied to you since the day we met, but there is one honest service my tongue can do for you.

  Natasha’s lips slipped into the smooth hollow of Dani’s throat and then moved on to the hard ridge of Dani’s collarbone before meeting the contrasting softness of Dani’s breast. Natasha’s chin moved over Dani’s stomach. Her cheek brushed the curly triangle of hair. She shifted down farther and then stopped. Dani was lying on the bed, arms thrown wide, lost in passion. Natasha felt totally in control. She stroked her hand up between Dani’s legs, watching the effect radiate through Dani’s entire body. With a thumb, Natasha pulled back the hood and saw the small pearl hidden beneath. Deliberately, she lowered her mouth to the warm scent of musk and the clean metallic taste of a woman.

  Natasha timed the strokes of her tongue to the rhythm of Dani’s breathing. She watched the tremors shaking Dani’s shoulders, legs, and arms. Dani’s gasps became more violent, her stomach rose and fell, her whole torso working in the fight for air. And then Dani’s voice broke into a cry, her back arched, and her hands stretched out, clenching convulsively into fists. Her body rose and fell in waves as though it were being shaken.

  At last, Dani dropped back to the bed. Her hands reached in a feeble attempt to draw Natasha to her side. They lacked the strength to pull her up, but Natasha went willingly. Dani wrapped her hands around Natasha’s back and buried her face in Natasha’s breasts. To her surprise, Natasha realized that both of them were crying.

  Natasha stroked Dani’s shoulders, murmuring nonsense words. For a while, Dani did nothing apart from breathe, but she recovered more quickly than Natasha expected. Almost before Natasha knew what was happening, Dani pressed her back onto the sheets and bent over her, staring down into her eyes.

  “I’ll do the same for you, if you want, but I’d rather watch your face as you come,” Dani said carefully, and then smiled. “For this first time.”

  “Whatever,” Natasha gasped with difficulty. Dani could do anything she liked—just as long as she did something.

  Dani’s hand slid down Natasha’s side to her thigh. “Open your legs.”

  Natasha obeyed. She wanted to open her soul and let Dani take every last fragment of her being. She wanted to give herself totally to Dani, holding nothing back. She wanted, just this once, to be totally true to her heart. Dani’s fingers slipped inside her. The sensation ripped through Natasha’s body, smashing any hope of self-control. Dani’s hands moved with confidence, sweeping Natasha along, a helpless witness to what was happening to her. She was enslaved, and she did not care. The touch of Dani’s fingers was the fixed point in a growing maelstrom of ecstasy. Her orgasm exploded inside her, blurring the boundaries of her body, an experience of release too intense to be called simple pleasure.

  Natasha opened her eyes, gasping as her breath returned. The bedclothes had long since been kicked aside. The heat from the fire warmed her along one side, and Dani’s body was hot on the other, while a draft stirred cold waves over the sweat on her stomach. The ceiling of the room shifted in the flickering red light. Natasha turned her head slightly to view Dani’s face.

  Dani’s eyes swept the length of her body and back. “Very nice,” she said, and smiled. “I knew you’d be worth waiting for.”

  Natasha still did not have sufficient control of her breathing to answer.

  Dani bent her head and gently brushed her lips across Natasha’s; then she looked across the room, frow
ning. “Now, where were we?” She snapped her fingers. “Yes, that was it. I’d offered you tea, and er...did you say you wanted some?”

  Natasha could feel Dani laughing silently. The body beside her was shaking. “I...I think I...said yes,” she said between gasps.

  “Right. Well, how about I make us a drink? And then...maybe a second round?”

  “Of tea?”

  Dani rolled on top of Natasha and kissed the tip of her nose. “If that’s all you want.”

  Dani slipped from the bed and went over to the fireplace, picking up the discarded kettle. Natasha turned onto her side and watched. The sight of Dani naked in the firelight was so beautiful that it brought tears to her eyes.

  *

  Natasha awoke from a light doze. She was curled tightly around Dani’s back. Some time had passed, and the fire had burned down, lighting the room with a gentle red glow. Natasha carefully shifted herself up onto one elbow. She looked down on Dani’s face.

  “Dani, are you awake?” Natasha asked quietly.

  There was no response.

  Natasha continued staring at the face on the pillow. She could not tell whether she was going to burst from happiness or cry from despair. Please, Celaeno. Freeze time now. Let me spend all eternity at this moment, Natasha prayed.

  There was a sound as the logs in the fire shifted. The world continued on its way. Morning would come.

  Natasha lifted her hand to brush the hair from Dani’s forehead, but stopped. She could have screamed from the pain. The miserable situation was no more bearable for knowing that she had walked into it open-eyed. But if only she had known where her choices would take her, surely she could have made it work out better. The bitter thought repeated in her head: I’ve left it a bit late to start working out what I want to do with my life. But now she knew at least part of the answer for certain.

  Natasha spoke in the softest of whispers, “Dani, I know you’re asleep and can’t hear me, but I want to tell you how much I love you. I know that by this time tomorrow, you aren’t going to believe it. You’re going to doubt everything I’ve ever said to you. But this is true...I love you with all my heart, and I always will.”

  Dani’s eyes remained closed, but the corner of her mouth drew up in a slow smile. “I heard that,” she said drowsily. “And I know what I’m supposed to say back. But you’re going to have to wait. Maybe I’ll tell you tomorrow.”

  Dani’s lips relaxed as she drifted back to sleep. Natasha slipped down in the bed and wrapped her arm around Dani’s waist. Tears squeezed from under her eyelids, but with effort, she stopped herself from sobbing and eventually fell into a deep sleep.

  Chapter Sixteen—Damned Forever

  “Dani!”

  Natasha jerked up in bed and stared around wildly. For a moment, she thought the pounding was her heart until she realized that someone was thumping urgently on the door. The bedclothes beside her stirred, and Dani’s face emerged, looking just as confused as her own.

  “What is it?”

  “Are you ill?” The voice from the shop called.

  “No...I...” Dani rolled out of bed and grabbed her shirt. “What time is it?”

  “I know it’s a bit early, but I need a large bowl, for breakfast.”

  Dani shook her head and then grinned down at Natasha. “I don’t believe it,” she said quietly, before raising her voice again. “I’ll be there in a moment.” She pulled on her pants and sidled out, leaving the door slightly ajar behind her.

  Natasha rose and also dragged on her clothes. From the shop came the sounds of bartering. She considered waiting until Dani’s customer left but decided against it. The gossips would have far worse to talk about come nightfall, and a slow, private farewell to Dani would be more than she could bear. She went into the shop to reclaim her boots and jacket.

  “Oh, I didn’t...er...good morning, Jess.” The customer’s face shifted from surprise to amusement.

  Dani’s eyes jumped between the woman and Natasha. “You’re off? Umm...okay, I’ll see you later.” Her voice held both uncertainty and disappointment.

  Natasha nodded and escaped. It was a miserable goodbye. But it’s probably for the best, she told herself. Anything more emotional, and I’d have cried. Tears were not far away as it was.

  Dawn had broken by the time she trotted across the main square, anxious to get to the animal barn quickly. Her attention was caught by a small gathering outside Kim and Lynn’s house. She knew it was a mistake, but she paused to watch. Kim and Chip were standing there in riding gear, surrounded by their families. Natasha was close enough to hear Chip say goodbye to her partner, Katryn, and promise her daughter to be back in time for her birthday.

  The day was particularly important for young Tanya Coppelli. She would be sixteen, and it was no secret that she was desperate to follow both her mothers into the Westernfort Rangers. Kim was carrying Becky. She lifted the toddler high into the air, swung her around, and sat her on Lynn’s shoulders. The child’s high-pitched laughter squealed through the morning hush. Kim bent her neck to kiss Lynn goodbye and then, with Chip beside her, walked across the open space, heading for the road to the main gates.

  Natasha watched them go with something approaching horror. Celaeno, is this really your will? The words were shouted inside her head.

  “Where are your parents, Jess? I thought they were supposed to be with me today.” An aggravated voice from behind interrupted Natasha’s thoughts.

  She turned around. The speaker was one of the forewomen who oversaw general building work. Natasha forced herself to speak. “There must have been a mix-up somewhere. They’ve been sent to repair some sheep pens on the other side of the lake. They set off after breakfast.”

  Disproving the lie would not take much investigation, but it was very unlikely that anyone would put in the effort to do so. The forewoman looked peeved but not about to rush off and check. She snorted and stomped away.

  Natasha looked back across the square. The small group was dispersing. Kim and Chip had vanished from sight. Natasha had to fight the urge to run after them. Every sickening doubt returned. I wish I were dead. She knew she would be before the day was out. It could not happen soon enough.

  *

  “Where are Rohanna and Cal today?”

  The forewoman stopped whatever she was doing at the bottom of the ditch and looked up, squinting against the midday sun in her face. Ash helpfully took a half step to the right so her shadow shielded the woman’s eyes.

  “Mirle sent them to work on some pens that need attention.” The forewoman scowled in irritation.

  “Did Mirle tell you that?”

  “No. I had to find out for myself.”

  Every instinct in Ash screamed. She worked to keep her voice even. “So who told you?”

  “Their daughter, Jess.”

  “Did she say exactly where they were?”

  “The other side of the lake somewhere.” The forewoman scrambled out of the ditch. “Why? Is anything wrong?”

  “I hope not.” Ash spoke mainly to herself. She looked at the confused expression of the other woman. “No. I shouldn’t think so. I was just curious.” She walked away, leaving a mystified forewoman behind. Not for the first time, Ash wished that Kim had given someone else the task of monitoring the family of thieves—someone with more experience in spying.

  Ash was furious with herself. She had been lax. Three months of watching the family, and when they finally pulled something, she had not noticed until noon. She halted at the edge of the main square. Her gut reaction told her that looking for Mirle was a waste of effort. What should she do?

  Ash chewed her lip. She did not have time to waste with more mistakes. Her next move had to be the right one; she had to avoid false trails. Which was easier said than done. Just pretend they’re a pride of snow lions. Kim’s words when she had given the assignment echoed in Ash’s thoughts. Perhaps it was the best way to proceed. Snow lions she knew, and the place to pick up fresh trails was at t
he lair. Ash set off across the square.

  At first glance, the room shared by the family looked the same as it had the last time Ash had seen it. On that occasion, she had searched the room, not in the hope of finding anything, intending only to let it be known that the room had been searched. It had been an easier and more intriguing job than she expected. She had spotted the fine bristle in the latch even before opening the door. That the family thought to monitor any intrusion into their quarters was an interesting fact in itself. For Ash’s purposes at the time, it meant that she needed to go through their belongings only routinely to be sure that the family would get the message.

  Alarming the family had been the sole aim of the search; she had hoped to push them into hasty action. But she had not expected anything quite so quick. If the thieves were going to try something dishonest, they would probably do it while Kim was away. It was the time Ash would have chosen in their place, and it would be wiser still to wait a day or two longer, letting things settle. So Ash had reasoned; otherwise, she would never have taken the break from surveillance. She had gone to bed early the previous evening, anticipating long hours of vigil in the nights ahead, and spent the morning in preparations. The mistake had been a bad one. And maybe the halfhearted search of the room had been another. Perhaps she should have been more thorough.

  Ash went to the chest and knelt down, looking closely. This time, there was no hair caught under the lid; there was no chalk. Obviously, the thieves had ceased to be concerned about whether they were searched. Ash’s eyes scanned the rest of the room. It was hard to put her finger on any one detail, but the analogy with snow lions stuck in her mind, and Ash knew with certainty what she was looking at: an abandoned lair. The dangerous occupants had moved on. Lifting the wooden lid confirmed her impression. The chest was not empty, but the missing items were significant.