The Walls of Westernfort

by Jane Fletcher

  “I...” Natasha glanced guiltily between Lynn and the sheepdog. The expression in Tipsy’s liquid eyes seemed to convey feelings of both hurt and rejection.

  “You’d better get something else for her to eat. Then go get your own lunch, and see if you can concentrate a bit better this afternoon.”

  Just the faintest hint of criticism underlay Lynn’s tone, but Natasha felt herself blushing as she rushed off to get more food for Tipsy. She knew she had been careless all morning and dreaded to think what other mistakes she might have made. She stopped and looked toward the town. The only way she was going to be able to keep her mind on her work was if she could clear her doubts about Dani, and soonest was probably best. Before her nerve went.

  Once Tipsy had her nose in the bowl, Natasha left the barn and jogged down the road to Westernfort. By the time she reached Dani’s shop, she had almost worked out what she wanted to say. The trick would be avoiding sounding either arrogant or groveling. Not that she would refuse to grovel if there was any sign that it would help. She had braced herself to enter the potter’s shop when she saw the note pinned to the door, saying that Dani was up at the kiln.

  Natasha swore silently and looked at the sun. Her lunch break was not long enough for her to get to the kiln and back. On the other hand, there was not much point returning to the barn with her head in its current state, and maybe a meeting by the kiln might not be a bad idea. Raised voices were quite likely. The news would make the rounds of Westernfort as it was. She would rather that the gossips did not have a word-for-word account of everything that was said.

  Chapter Twenty-One—Something to Say

  The clearing around the kiln looked very different now that summer was on the way. Natasha stood at the end of the path and peered around. Dense undergrowth filled the space under the trees, making an encircling wall of green. Small yellow flowers were scattered across the grass. The kiln itself looked like a boiled egg with its top broken open. She heard the sound of chopping before she spotted Dani at the edge of the clearing, almost hidden behind a pile of heavy logs.

  All of Natasha’s resolve ebbed away. She resisted the urge to sneak off again quietly but was unable to make herself step forward and speak. Dani swung the ax as though she wanted not merely to split the logs, but also to bury the blade in the ground underneath them, throwing her whole weight into the action. Possibly she caught sight of Natasha out of the corner of her eye, because she stopped abruptly and glanced over her shoulder. Despite Shelly’s assertion, Natasha did not see the slightest flicker of anything other than anger on Dani’s face when she straightened and turned to face her.

  “I’d ask what you think you’re doing here, but I can guess.” Dani spat out the words.

  “I wanted to talk to you.”

  “Oh, I’m sure you do, since you’ve been talking to Shelly. I heard all about it last night...a complete load of bullshit. If you listened to a word she said, you’re a bigger fool than she is.”

  “I didn’t believe everything Shelly said without question. That’s why I came here—to find out what you’d say.”

  “You came here thinking I was going to fall into your arms.” Dani’s voice was raw with anger.

  “No. I don’t expect anything. But I thought the two of us should talk.”

  “That’s all? Just talk?” Dani sneered. “I know exactly what you want. But I’d rather slit my throat than crawl into bed with you again. I don’t know where Shelly got her delusions, but she was wrong from start to finish.”

  At Dani’s furious glare, Natasha’s gaze dropped to her feet. The conversation was not following any of her planned scripts. The best thing all around might be to turn and leave, but then one last thought surfaced in her mind. Natasha looked up. “No, Shelly was dead right about one thing.”

  “Really?” Dani’s voice was viciously sarcastic.

  “If a woman has something to say to another, she should say it and not play games.”

  Dani advanced until she was only a few steps away. The ax was still in her hands. She hefted it menacingly. “And you think I’ve got something to say to you?”

  “You’re the only one who knows that. But I know I’ve got something I ought to say to you.” Natasha paused. “I love you.”

  Dani’s hands tightened around the shaft of the ax. She took a half step back and then yelled in fury, “How have you got the fucking nerve to say that?”

  “Because it’s true.” Natasha kept her voice calm. “I’m sorry if it offends you. I know it must. But it’s the truth. I’ve lied to you so much in the past, it’s the least I owe you now—to tell you honestly how I feel. I love you with all my heart and soul.”

  “And from all that crap you swallowed from Shelly, you think I’m going to squeal with delight, throw my arms around you, and say I love you too?”

  “No. I think I’ve lost any chance of that, which is all I deserve.” Natasha could feel tears starting to sting her eyes. “You’ve got every right to hate me.”

  “Generous of you to concede that.”

  “Why shouldn’t you hate me? I hate myself for the way I’ve treated you. I care about you more than I’ve ever cared about anyone in my life. If there’s one woman in the world who I’d like to think well of me, it’s you. And I haven’t given you grounds to think of me with anything other than contempt. It’s all I deserve. I love you, and you hate the sight of me.” Tears were starting to roll down Natasha’s face.

  Dani was unmoved. “Do you know how pathetic you look?”

  “Probably as pathetic as I feel.”

  “Am I supposed to pity you? You can have all the pity your friends in the Guards showed to my sister and mothers.”

  “I don’t expect your pity.”

  “No. But I know what you did come here expecting. You talk about love. Shall I tell you what love means to me? I loved my mothers, and I loved my sister. You thought you could wander up here, give me a smile, and I’d forget all about them. You can’t have the first frigging idea what love is, if you were counting on me feeling anything for you other than disgust.”

  “I wasn’t counting on it.”

  “So why did you come here?”

  “Because I couldn’t stop myself from hoping against the odds.” Natasha tried to wipe her eyes. She could not bring herself to speak. Her legs were shaking, and her feet felt as if they were glued to the ground. It was the only thing stopping her from fleeing back through the woods.

  Dani was watching her, looking as if she were about to be sick. She half turned away; then she swung back and started shouting again. “How could you even dream I’d soil my family’s memory? Do you think you’re that good? Do you really imagine that anyone would want you? I can’t even respect you for the few virtues Guards are supposed to have. You’ve lied. You’ve cheated. You’ve abandoned your faith. You’ve betrayed your comrades. You might pretend you followed your conscience when you didn’t kill Lynn, but I’ll bet it was just that you lacked the guts. Did you have many friends back in Landfall? I’d find it hard to believe. Presumably your mother liked you, but she must have been the only one.”

  “Dani, I’m sorry.” Natasha managed to force the words out through her clenched teeth.

  “Sorry for being such a fucking awful excuse for a woman?”

  “If there’s anything I can do to make...”

  “To make me feel better about you?” Dani finished the sentence. She stormed across the clearing and hurled the ax down, embedding it in the side of a log, and walked back until she was close enough to shout into Natasha’s face. “Yes. There is something you could do that I would really appreciate. Get yourself a rope, select a tree, and hang yourself.” Dani barged past Natasha and marched off along the path through the woods. Her footsteps became quicker as they faded away.

  Once she was alone, Natasha managed to force her legs to move. She stumbled across the clearing and slumped against the side of the kiln. Her eyes slipped around the painfully familiar scene. The memory
of the night she had spent there taunted her. She had been happy then, and Dani had been her friend. Was there anything she could have done to have kept things that way? Natasha buried her face in her hands. But she knew that the situation had been impossible since the day she had volunteered for the mission.

  The time was well past the hour when she should have been back at the barn. Perhaps she could find a job to take her mind off the pain. Natasha shook her head at the thought. Dani’s last suggestion was the only one that would stop her from hurting, and she was frightened by how tempting the idea was.

  She drew a deep breath, wiped her eyes, and stared bleakly at the path back toward Westernfort, trying to summon the enthusiasm to force her legs to walk. After another deep breath, she pushed away from the kiln. But before she had gone four steps, she was brought to a halt by a stern voice from the trees behind her.

  “Stand still, and put your hands in the air.”

  Natasha gasped. Of course, she had broken the terms of her parole. The forest was not part of the farmlands. She complied with the order; the excuses could be saved for Kim. The soft sound of footsteps approached from the rear. Then one of her hands was grabbed and pulled behind her back. Natasha made no attempt to resist as a rope was tied around her wrist. The knot was secure, but not so tight as to hurt. In fact, it felt as if the bonds were cushioned with something soft. Her other hand was treated in the same fashion. Then her captors stepped around and stood in front of her. To her horror, Natasha found herself staring at Rohanna and Cal. Both were armed, and both were looking hostile.

  Cal’s eyes traveled deliberately to the path Dani had taken and then came back to Natasha. “What a shame, after you sold us out for her.” In a sudden move, she reversed the sword in her hand and punched the hilt hard into Natasha’s stomach. Natasha doubled over. Cal pulled back her arm for a second blow, but Rohanna grabbed her hand.

  “Stop that. Remember, we don’t want her marked.”

  “I thought a few little bruises could be put down to mischance.”

  “Cal.” Rohanna’s tone made it a warning.

  “All right.”

  Rohanna caught hold of the back of Natasha’s shirt and pulled her upright. Natasha was still fighting for breath and hardly aware of what was happening as she was dragged from the clearing and into the forest. By the time she was able to pay attention to her surroundings, the clearing was lost far behind among the trees. Cal was in the lead, following the stony path of a dried-up river bed. Once she saw that Natasha was able to walk unaided, Rohanna released her hold and pushed Natasha forward to go in the middle, while she took a position at the rear. Only birdsong and the breeze through the branches broke the silence as the three women climbed the hillside, heading away from town.

  *

  It was over an hour later when they reached the campsite the Guards had picked, high on the walls of the valley. Through a break in the trees, Natasha could see the town of Westernfort several kilometers away. The camp was at the bottom of a narrow gully, overhung by dense forest. The piles of blankets and backpacks were further hidden under a mass of large-leafed shrubs. Someone could have passed within five meters of the spot and not noticed any trace of the women or their gear.

  Natasha was directed to sit. Then Rohanna bound her legs from ankle to knee, using large wads of raw sheep’s wool as padding under the cord. When the last knot was secure, she looked at Natasha. “Is that nice and comfy? I’d hate it if you got rope burns.” Her ironic tone made it clear that her motivation had nothing to do with Natasha’s well-being.

  “There’d be no risk at all if you didn’t tie me.”

  “It’s so we’ll know where you are when our backs are turned. Don’t worry. I’ll untie your legs before we leave. We’ve got no intention of carrying you.”

  A short way off, Cal was sitting on a rock and staring at Natasha. Her expression was one of utter revulsion. “You don’t know how lucky you are that our plan involves keeping your stinking skin in one piece, because I’d really enjoy the chance to demonstrate just how I feel about you.” While she spoke, Cal’s fingers clenched as though she were controlling them only with effort. Her voice rose. “When we heard you’d been captured, we thought you’d tried to do your duty and had failed through bad luck. We had visions of you being locked up, tortured, and killed. Then we get here and find you playing football. When I think of the good tears the two of us wasted over you...” Words were no longer enough. Cal sprang to her feet and crouched over Natasha. Both her hands were balled into fists.

  Rohanna put out her arm as a barrier and gently pushed Cal away. “It’s all right. We can safely leave vengeance to the Goddess.”

  For a moment, it looked as if Cal would not be able to stop herself from striking Natasha; her fist lifted up. Then she spun away and slumped back on her seat on the rock.

  Rohanna returned her attention to Natasha. “Actually, we should have guessed that you had not simply suffered bad luck. Celaeno had been working for us. She’d delivered her enemies into our hands. With the Goddess so clearly blessing our venture, we could only have failed through treachery. It won’t happen this time. Once again, the Goddess has provided the help we need to perform her work. The leaders of the heretics will be destroyed, and you’ll pay for your faithlessness.” She raised her hand to stroke Natasha’s cheek. Despite her ominous words, the gesture was sorrowful, even tender. “Were you aware that it was divine will that lured you into the woods? I’d thought taking you prisoner would be difficult, but with the Goddess on our side, it was so easy. We’d barely completed our plans when we found you standing alone, waiting to be captured. And the last words of the potter...an omen if ever I’ve heard one.”

  “What are your plans?” Natasha asked.

  “We’re going to kill you.” Cal snapped out the answer.

  “There has to be more to it.” Of that, Natasha was certain. Otherwise, why was there concern about not injuring her?

  “Oh, yes,” Rohanna answered her. “We’re going to execute Ramon and her degenerate Imprinter. Although unfortunately, we’ll have to let Coppelli go.”

  “And you’re hoping I’m going to play some part in the plan?”

  “No. Your death is.” Rohanna settled back on her heels and continued speaking. “When we failed to execute the heretics, I wondered whether I’d been wrong in trying to send back news about Ginasberg. After all, the Chief Consultant had given us a very specific duty to perform. I thought perhaps I’d been guilty of overambition. So Cal and I decided to devote ourselves solely to our appointed task. It hasn’t been easy living in the wilderness, hiding our tracks, climbing over a mountain to get back into the valley unnoticed. You can see we’re not looking our best.” Rohanna held up her arms to illustrate her words. She had lost weight, and her clothes were ragged. A long graze marked one side of her face.

  Natasha glanced at her ex-comrades and then looked down. Why was I so sure Rohanna and Cal would return to Landfall? Natasha berated herself silently. The answer occurred to her in the next instant. Because I tried to put myself in their place, and I’d have grabbed any excuse to avoid murdering Lynn.

  Rohanna went on speaking. “Then we got back here and found you alive and at liberty. And I realized that the fault was in you, not me. You’re the one who tried to thwart the will of the Goddess. But you cannot. No mortal can. In the end, everything can only serve to glorify her. Your sins provide the opening that will allow us to complete the mission in full. Tonight, we’ll enter Westernfort. They’re so sure this valley is impregnable, they don’t post sentries in the town. We’ll go to Ramon’s house and carry out the two sentences of death. Then we’ll hang you from the rafters of their house and make sure that it looks like suicide. Do you see how it will work? Everyone will assume you were so distraught at the potter’s rejection, you had another change of heart and returned to the Goddess. You fulfilled your mission out of anger or remorse and then killed yourself. They won’t be looking for anyone else, which will
give Cal and me our chance to return to Landfall.”

  Rohanna stared directly into Natasha’s eyes. “Aren’t you afraid of Celaeno’s anger? Can’t you see that you bought your life with your betrayal, at the price of your immortal soul? Your life is now forfeit, but your soul may yet be saved. Repent of your sins. Let the love of the Goddess into your heart. From the way you’ve fallen into our hands, I know Celaeno is blessing our mission. Think. Would you be sitting here as a prisoner if Celaeno herself had not intervened?”

  Natasha met Rohanna’s gaze. For a moment, the absolute certainty she saw there overwhelmed her. It was impossible to question that Rohanna was right and the Goddess was demonstrating her will. Then the spell broke. Rohanna’s certainty was nothing, apart from the blind refusal to doubt. Despite the situation, Natasha almost laughed. For the first time since meeting Ash and Dani in the abandoned homestead, there were no contradictions tearing her apart. If she was going to die, at least she could do it at peace with herself. She shook her head. “I’m sitting here prisoner because you’ve had some good luck.”

  “You deny the hand of the Goddess?”

  “You wouldn’t know the hand of the Goddess if she slapped you around the face...especially if she slapped you around the face. You’re so convinced that Celaeno is on your side, you’re incapable of seeing any evidence to the contrary. You’ve decided what the Goddess wants, and nothing that happens can change your mind. Every tiny coincidence that supports your belief, you seize on as proof, and you ignore everything else. You think the Goddess intervened to help you capture me? I can think of a thousand ways the Goddess could have intervened that would have been more helpful to you. In fact, if she wants Lynn dead, why doesn’t she strike her down with lightning?”