I need some sugar, baby.
Red velvet, right?
His reply was immediate.
I meant you, but sure. That works, too. I’ll take both. I’m greedy like that.
She laughed.
Ha. You’re funny.
The bubble with three dots popped up instantly.
Are you gonna leave me standing out here all night long, or are you gonna let me in?
She lifted her head. Sure enough, waiting on the opposite side of the locked glass door was Steven.
Oh. Hi.
He held up a bouquet of red roses.
Let me in?
Maybe…
He crossed his arms and smirked at her.
Grinning, she opened the door and he came inside. “Before you get any ideas, I already cleaned up for the night. So no hanky-panky on the counter.”
“Hanky-panky?” he said, laughing. And that laugh? Yeah, it did things to her heart. Dangerous things. If only she could spend the rest of her life making him laugh like that. “Did you seriously just use that in a sentence?”
“I did.” She tried not to smile…and failed. “And I rocked it.”
“That’s a subjective statement. You rock those shorts. You rock being naked.” He gave her a once-over. “Hell, you rock pretty much anything you do—but that sentence? Yeah, I’m not so sure that applies.”
“Hey.” She smacked his arm. “You better watch yourself, or you’ll be sleeping on the couch.”
That smirk slid off his face real fast. “Shit. You can hold that over my head now. No one’s ever been able to do that to me.”
“Not even Rachel?”
“I didn’t like sleeping in the same bed as her.” He shot her a quick glance and lowered his head. “I had nightmares when I first came back, and she didn’t…handle them well. Let’s just put it that way.”
Nightmares. Of course he did.
And of course little miss prissy Rachel couldn’t handle them. She’d never been the right girl for Steven. She was too soft. Too sensitive. Too childlike in her selfishness.
Steven needed a real woman. One who could love him for his faults, not in spite of them. Who could love him equally in his good nights, and his bad. Who would never give up on him, or ever stop fighting for him. Someone who would love him unconditionally for the rest of his life, no matter what he said or did.
Someone like…her.
Lauren swallowed hard, but forced a smile. “If you ever need me to be there, anytime, anyplace, I’ll chase the nightmares away.”
He stared at her, as if he wasn’t sure what to say or do.
Then, without warning, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her, keeping it soft and short. His hard lips on hers still made her knees weak, though.
“Thank you,” he whispered, staring down at her.
He still held the flowers in his hand.
“For what?” she asked, her breath coming light and fast.
“For always being honest with me, and for being someone I can trust enough to let in.” He skimmed his fingers over her jawline. “You have no idea what that means to a guy like me. If I didn’t trust you, there’s no way I could let you…that I could open myself up like this. So, thank you.”
She sucked in a breath and held it in. Those words were everything she’d wanted to hear, and more. And she needed a second to really, truly let that sink in.
“Are you okay?” he asked, his brow furrowed.
“Y-Yes, sorry.” She smiled up at him, resting her hands on his chest. “I was…thinking how happy I am right now. With you.”
“The feeling is mutual.” He pulled back and handed her the flowers. She took them and lifted them to her nose, inhaling deeply. “Will you go out with me?”
“I thought we already were.” She blinked at him over the bouquet. “If not, these past few days I’ve spent rolling around naked with you are really confusing.”
A laugh burst out of him and punched her right in the chest. Looking at him, she realized he was more than her friend and lover. He was the love of her life.
She loved him.
“I mean, like out,” he said, ripping her out of her frightening thoughts. But the thing was, they weren’t all that scary. They should have been, but for some reason, it just felt…right. “Sitting at a table together. With each other.”
“You mean, on a date?”
“Yeah.” He tucked her hair behind her ear for her. “Our first real date.”
Setting her flowers down, she walked around the counter and pulled out a cupcake. “I’d love to…but first…you need to eat a cupcake.”
He smirked. “I love eating…cupcakes.”
“Oh my God, you’re incorrigible,” she said with red cheeks. “Eat your dessert.”
He cocked a haughty brow. “Before dinner?”
“You’d best get used to that,” she teased, handing him a cupcake. He took it, his fingers purposely catching hers as he tugged her back into his arms. It was as if he couldn’t bear to have her out of them—and, again, the feeling was mutual. “I plan on giving my kids sweets whenever they want, too. Life’s too short to wait for the good stuff.”
He stilled. “…Kids?”
Well, crap. She was dating him—actually dating him—and she’d mentioned the “k” word on their first real date. But she already had deep feelings for this man. It wasn’t a huge shock that she might go there. If she could get that happy ending with anyone, with the kids and the dog and the fenced-in yard, it would be him.
But that didn’t mean he felt the same way.
She stuttered. “I-I-I mean, you know. If I have them someday. Which I might not. I’d probably be a horrible mom.”
His gaze dipped down to her belly, and when he studied her face, there was something that looked like…longing. As if he, too, thought about it, and liked the idea. “I think you’d make an awesome mother someday.”
Lauren forced a light laugh. “Yeah, we’ll see. So…dinner?”
“Yeah. Right. Uh, I made reservations.” He finished his treat, dusted off his hands, and held his arm out for her. He still wore a suit from his day at the office, while she had on shorts and a tank top. “Are you ready?”
“Depends. Do I need to change?”
“Why would you do that?” He frowned. “You look beautiful already. You always do.”
Her heart skipped a beat at the compliment. “Well, if we’re going somewhere fancy, I need to wear a dress.”
“Nah, you’re fine.” He opened the door for her, and led her through it. “Lock up.”
She did. The whole time, she felt his gaze on her.
There was something there, buried in those hazel depths that made her heart race and her thighs tremble. When she finished, she turned to him. He pressed her against the door, towering over her, his chest pressed to hers, and trapped both her hands on either side of her body. She almost dropped the flowers. “Steven?”
“You look so damn pretty in the moonlight. How did it take me so long to see what was right in front of me? How could I have been so damn blind?”
He lowered his mouth to hers, stopping just shy of kissing her. His warm, minty breath fanned across her cheek. Tears threatened to spill out. Not from fear—though she was scared, too—but he looked down at her as if she was the most important thing on this planet, and she had no idea what to do with that. She’d never been anyone’s first choice. Never had someone who literally needed her in his life.
Her mother had been too busy mourning the loss of her father for her entire life while paying bills, so Lauren had always been on her own. No one needed her. But Steven…he did. And that meant a lot to her. So much.
She didn’t want to lose it, or him.
A tear slipped out, and Steven’s thumb caught it with lightning fast reflexes. “Why are you crying? I didn’t want to make you cry. Shit, I’m sorry, cupcake.”
He’d freed one of her hands, so she curled it behind his nape and shook her head again, gasping
for a good breath. The emotion inside of her was…was…overwhelming. “I’m not crying.”
“Uh…” He tried to pull back, but she didn’t let him. “Then what the fuck is coming out of your eyes?”
“Tears. But they’re good ones. Very good.” She took a deep breath. “I—”
“In that case?” He brushed his lips across hers lightly. “I can make them happier.”
She curled her fingers into her palms. “Steven—”
“Shh.” He kissed her again, and this time when their lips met, there was a deep, tangible emotion behind the gesture. One that there was no running from, or avoiding.
Moaning, he pressed closer, and cupped her face. The flowers fell to the sidewalk, bouncing between their feet, but they didn’t stop kissing. She strained to get closer, and her hands roamed his body, learning everything with new vision. Memorizing every hard edge and muscle. And it wasn’t enough.
She needed him now.
And it seemed like he had the same opinion, too. He spun her around the corner of her shop, into the dark alley. The second they were cloaked in darkness, he undid her shorts, yanking them down. She gasped and reached for his buckle, unfastening it and ripping his pants open. They didn’t waste time with foreplay or soft caresses.
There wasn’t any time.
The need was too strong, too loud, to be denied.
Hauling her up against the brick wall, he positioned himself at her entry. He was seconds from sending her soaring into an orgasm, but he stopped. “Shit.”
“What?” she asked breathlessly. “Why’d you stop? Don’t stop.”
“I didn’t bring a condom. We were supposed to go to a sweet date, like normal people, and fuck at home in a bed…again, like normal people.”
Home. He’d called her place home. A strangled laugh escaped her. “We’re not normal, and I’m on the pill, so come on.”
“But…” Still, he hesitated. “Are you sure? I mean, I’m clean, but that’s a big step. I’ve never even fucked without a condom before.”
“Yes, I’m sure.” She grabbed either side of his face and squeezed. “I’m yours, and only yours. I’m not sleeping with anyone else, and don’t want to. And if you don’t fuck me right now, I’ll kill you.”
Something lit his expression—possession, maybe?—and he growled, caught her mouth, and drove inside of her with one hot, hard, long stroke. Unable to bite it back, she screamed into his mouth, and he muffled her cries, pressing even closer to her. He palmed her ass, lifted her a little higher, and slammed into her again.
Her nails scraped over his shoulders, seeking skin to dig into, but he still wore his suit jacket. And for some reason, that made what they were doing even hotter.
Every nerve inside of her bunched in her stomach, tightening more and more with each thrust, and it was only a matter of seconds until she lost it.
And the amazing thing was…
He was just as out of control as she was. He was open, and wild, and raw, and he was hers. He broke the kiss off, his breathing ragged. “Jesus, Lauren. Your pussy is so tight and wet and I can’t…fuck.”
Shaking his head, he caught her mouth again, his movements more frantic. She was right there with him, straining to grasp that orgasm only he could give her. “Steven,” she cried out, stars bursting in front of her eyes as her orgasm took over her.
Groaning, he thrust into her three more times, and he came, too.
He collapsed, trapping her in between his hard body and the brick wall. After a few ragged breaths, he pulled back enough to look her in the eyes, cupped her cheek, and kissed her forehead. “Shit. That was—real. And you mean more to me than you’ll ever fully comprehend. More than I ever thought possible.”
Her lids drifted shut. This was what she had been waiting for her whole life. The thing—no, the man—she waited for. And she wasn’t scared anymore. The truth was, she wasn’t even sure why she’d been scared in the first place.
And she was ready to tell him how she felt about him.
No more secrets. No more fear.
“Steven, I—”
“Lauren?” Holt called out, knocking on the door of her bakery. “Are you here? Are you okay? I saw your car out front.”
Steven stiffened and whispered, “Shit. Why is he here, looking for you?”
“I…” Her heart skipped a beat. “I’m not sure.”
“Get rid of him. I’ll wait back here. I don’t want him to see me and want to hang out. I want you to myself tonight.” He dropped a big kiss on her lips and helped her to her feet. “I don’t want to share you with anyone.”
“The feeling is mutual.” Lauren pulled her shorts up. “I’m back here, tossing a garbage bag in the dumpster. Give me a second.”
After hastily dressing, she smoothed her hair and walked around the corner with shaky legs. Steven smacked her butt as she walked by him, grinning happily.
Holt took one look at her and crossed his arms. “You okay?”
Okay. Yeah. She’d roll with that.
Letting out a big yawn, she nodded and covered her mouth. “I am. But I’m about to head home for some rest, so—”
“Is Steven still staying with you?”
She nodded. “Yeah. But I’m really tired and—”
“Okay, I’ll be quick. I just stopped by on my way home to thank you for taking care of him. For coming up with a reason—whatever it was—to get him to stay with you. It probably wasn’t easy for you to lie to him like that.”
Shaking her head, she held a hand up, horror holding her still and mute. In all this happiness and love, she’d forgotten about the one thing that could ruin it all: her lie. But it was all about to come rushing back. Holt was saying all these things, and Steven was behind her, and he was going to ruin everything. “Holt, stop. I didn’t—”
“Don’t be modest. He cares about you a lot more than he’d ever admit. It’s why you needed to be the one to babysit him.” Holt grasped her shoulder and squeezed. “If you hadn’t lied and come up with a reason to get him to stay, I think—”
“Please shut up!” This was it. This was the moment where it was all going to fall apart. She couldn’t stop Holt from speaking. He wasn’t listening to her. “I didn’t—”
“Yeah, you did. And I think your little lie saved…his…life.” The last word finished on a whisper, and Holt paled.
Without looking, she knew why he looked like he saw a ghost.
Steven. Watching them. Listening. Learning. Hearing it all.
Holt shifted on his feet. “Steven…hey, buddy. I, uh, didn’t see you there.”
“Steven.” She fisted her hands and faced him. His expression was icy and closed off. “We can explain.”
Steven ignored her and addressed Holt. “Can you, now?”
His voice…God, his voice. It sounded dead. Unemotional.
And just like that?
She remembered why she’d been so scared to let him in. Why she’d been terrified to love him, and need him, and want him. If she lost him…
It would kill her.
Chapter Sixteen
That aching, wrenching, painful feeling that echoed like a gunshot in his chest? The one that hurt more than a real fucking bullet ripping through flesh?
Yeah, that was his heart.
And he wasn’t a cardiologist or anything, but he was pretty damn sure Lauren had just broken it. It was breaking and cracking and dying, because this whole thing? Lauren kissing him, making love to him, inviting him into her bed and her heart while pretending to want more with him? Yeah, that’s all it was. Pretend.
All those soft words and whispered promises had all been a lie to keep him at her side, concocted by her and Holt, and he’d fallen for every single word.
And the thing that made this whole thing worse? Even with the proof right there in front of him, screaming at the top of its lungs with bright neon lights, he didn’t want to believe it. Didn’t want it to be true. An inner voice insisted it wasn’t, that it couldn�
��t be, but that voice was fucking insane.
While he was busily picturing a future with her, and two adorable kids, and a happy life he’d all but given up on…she’d been lying to him. Just like everyone else. That was the worst part. He’d thought she was different. That he could trust her.
That she understood how important honesty was to him.
He’d clearly been wrong.
Holding his arms out, he walked out under the streetlights. “Don’t stop on my account. I’d love to hear more about your elaborate scheme to keep an eye on me.”
Holt shifted on his feet and pushed his glasses into place.
Lauren just stared at him like he was a ghost.
“Well?” Steven asked, laughing. It physically hurt to do so, but it was better than shouting, like he was two seconds from doing. “What lies did you tell me, Lauren? Can you be more specific? Was it the break-in? The things you said that night? Hell, tonight?”
She snapped out of whatever trance she’d been in. Stepping forward, she held her hands in front of her in a pleading gesture. “Steven, no. I didn’t—”
Steven growled.
Holt grabbed her arm and pulled her back. “Don’t.”
“Get your hands off of her,” Steven said through clenched teeth. “And give me one good fucking reason why I shouldn’t kill you, right now, for going behind my back. For making Lauren babysit me. For the lies, and the games, and the—”
“Enough. We get it. You’re pissed. And you have every right to be.” Holt stepped closer, pointing a finger at him. “And the whole babysitting thing? Yeah. That was an unfortunate choice of words. But—”
“You think?” Steven asked, keeping his voice as neutral as he could manage.
Which wasn’t very neutral at all.
“I—” Lauren started.
Holt shot her a glance. “I’m sorry. But me and Lydia were worried about you, and the only person we could think of who could help us make sure you were okay was…” Holt stared at Lauren, not finishing his sentence. He didn’t need to.
Lauren closed her eyes and her lips moved soundlessly, like she was talking to herself. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“Go away.” Steven clenched his fists. “Leave us.”
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