CHASING LIFE

by Steve Jovanoski

  Chapter 11

  Dave returned to Hong Kong Island and emerged in front of the ferry terminal. Staring at the circles he’d marked on the map, he looked out into the ever-busy streets with trepidation. Everything he wanted to visit was outdoors, but the relentless rain ruined his plans.

  ‘Bloody hell! Stop raining,’ he cursed. Another shopping centre was marked on the map. It was close to his hotel, and he chose to wait out the rain there. He hailed a cab and instructed the driver to head to Times Square Shopping Centre. This time, the cabbie gave him no problems with the meter.

  He was dropped off near the fish market. Curiosity called, so he strolled through to check it out before going to Times Square. The smell lingering in the air was off-putting, but the assortment of marine life on display was a visual spectacle of wriggling creatures. From crabs to lobsters, stingrays, eels and fish of all types, it seemed like everything the ocean had to offer was on display. Sellers beckoned potential customers by bellowing in Cantonese. He felt like he was at the Queen Victoria Market back in Melbourne.

  He left the market, crossed a traffic-congested street, and entered Times Square, where a flood of subway commuters converged with shopping-centre consumers, forming a river of human movement. It felt like he was surrounded by two million people in that one spot. He went up the escalators to the main floor, where he could see the enormous high-rise shopping tower. Each level was in the form of a curved circle built one on top of another, and each floor was connected with long escalators. Once again, shops of all kinds of brands could be found. While venturing further up, he found an Internet café and ordered a latte. He opted to send an email to Amy and Mike back home.

  According to his watch, it would be just about 5:00 in the afternoon in Melbourne. He might even catch them before they left the office for home. After ten minutes of procrastination, his fingers started moving and soon he was typing away, summarising the events of his trip so far. By the time he was finished, he might as well have written an essay. Nothing was left out, not even his experience on Lockhart Road. He pressed the send button and took a sip of his coffee.

  Not even five minutes went by before Amy replied. ‘Your trip sounds so exciting. I’m really happy you’re having a good time, Dave. Send us pictures and keep writing. Love you and look after yourself. I’m sooo jealous.’ A smiley face followed. Then Mike’s email came through.

  ‘You’re a machine! Man, wish I was there with you. Let me know when you hear from that chick Erin. It’s a shame she took off. She sounds awesome. You should have gone with her you biatch! Had a happy ending yet? It’s the thinking man’s massage, you know. Don’t shirk away from delightful treats when you travel. Don’t deny yourself your natural urges, man. Give yourself up to your needs and satisfy your cravings.’

  Dave had to chuckle when he read Mike’s email. Dave thought about what his friend wrote. Why didn’t he go with Erin? Wasn’t that the whole idea of the trip? To be open to opportunities? Even though he thought he was up for anything on this lifetime adventure, he realised it wouldn’t be that easy.

  The next two hours in Times Square were spent on browsing the Internet and strolling through the shopping centre. He gawked at every girl that walked past.

  Later that evening, he made an effort to plan his time. He wouldn’t go back to The Base tonight—there was more discovering of Hong Kong to be done. With his map in hand and a fresh shirt, a new adventure awaited him. The rain didn’t bother him anymore, even though the high humidity and constant sweating would still take a bit of getting used to.

  There was no shortage of eateries in Hong Kong, but his appetite for food was stifled. He picked an old Chinese boat restaurant with a big sail anchored just off the harbour. The price-list was beyond his normal spending, but then again, what was normal about this trip? The restaurant was fascinating: colourful Chinese art decorated the wooden interior, traditional music played in the background in a soft tune and the tables moved slightly from the gentle waves rocking it from below.

  A jolly waiter made all the guests feel welcome on arrival. The people around him, mostly couples, were engaged in each other’s company and seemed oblivious to those around them. Eating alone in a restaurant was a new habit to learn, and he realised this one in particular made him feel rather uneasy. He started to think of his plans. Hong Kong was a world away from Melbourne, despite the similarities of shopping centres and technology. He wasn’t sure whether to prolong his stay in the hotel or get a cheap apartment. The happy faces in the restaurant made him feel increasingly uncomfortable. They were all so chatty and worry free. He left the meal half-finished and stood abruptly.

  ‘Waiter. Waiter! Bill please,’ he called out, as if he was at the fish markets. Heads turned from every table, and suddenly he was at centre stage. Their faces said it all—here’s an arrogant Westerner devoid of manners or courtesy. Dave stormed out red-faced to the deck of the boat. He sat on an empty bench overlooking the city.

  ‘Shit. What’s wrong with me?’ he stamped the floor with his foot. He was never rude to people, even to ones that deserved it. He was angry at what he’d become. Why wasn’t he able to control this tumult of emotions and bad moods? In the distance, everything seemed peaceful. It was one thing seeing the amazing city during the day, and completely another during the night with a warm breeze blowing over. The play of lights reflected off the water and synchronised to form patterns on entire business towers. It was mesmerising, a gigantic Christmas tree of a city. He found it calming.

  Dave’s mind wandered to Julia, wishing so much that things had worked out differently for them. He opened his wallet and held her letter. The excitement of a new beginning kept getting sabotaged by the life he couldn’t let go of. He ran his fingers over the paper as if he were touching her.

  ‘Why did you leave me? You’re meant to be here, with me,’ he said softly. They should have been starting a family and doing all the things they planned to do. The guilt of feeling sorry for himself delivered a punch to his chest. His headache was coming back, and he hoped he wouldn’t need to take pills again. Memories of his past were not easily packed away in a box. They were deep in the recesses of his brain, along with his still-vivid feelings for his wife. His past self was a man he could no longer relate to: happy, fulfilled, in love with his partner and looking forward to the future. The image of Julia’s face in those last moments of her life still endured in his mind. It was a memory he was yet to say goodbye to.

  The piece of paper he unfolded looked aged already.

  ‘Why, Julia? Why did it happen to us?’ Dave put the worn letter back into his wallet and began an aimless stroll through the streets of Hong Kong.

  Along the way, he entered a few bars briefly to look around before deciding to continue on. Nothing attracted his attention. It wasn’t much different from the previous night, but he just wasn’t getting in the mood. He felt bored by every place he went by. In the end they all looked the same, every bar and restaurant a replica of the other.

  A pub on a corner street was showing soccer games on a big television screen and sold tap beer. Dave sat down inside and ordered a draught. Perhaps a quiet night was just what he needed. The soccer game on TV was between Australia and Germany. He cringed at the score. They were losing, terribly. Aussie expatriates screamed angrily at the poor refereeing, what they saw as a bias against the underdog.

  ‘Hello,’ a voice said. Dave turned to see a slim Asian girl next to him.

  ‘Hi,’ Dave smiled politely and felt his mood improve a notch.

  ‘May I sit here?’ she asked.

  ‘You certainly may.’ The girl had long straight hair, a sparkle in her eyes and cute round cheeks. Her skirt rode slightly high when she sat down, revealing silky smooth legs.

  ‘I’m dying for some beer, you want one?’ she offered.

  ‘No, I’m fine.’ Dave gestured to his nearly full glass.

  The girl let out a long breath as one does settling down after a hectic day. ‘Are y
ou enjoying the game?’ she asked.

  Germany scored another goal and Dave winced. ‘Not anymore. My country is losing,’ he groaned.

  ‘You are Australian?’ she said and laughed.

  ‘Yes and I’m not happy.’

  ‘Oh, poor thing. At least your country is playing. Thailand is not good enough.’

  ‘That’s true I guess. What’s your name?’ he asked.

  ‘Riza. And you?’

  ‘Dave. Nice to meet you Riza.’ Dave gladly turned away from the dreadful game and focussed on the little beauty next to him.

  His beer was finished, and he bought a round for both of them. They gave up their stools in exchange for a little privacy in a darker corner of the interior of the pub. Dave moved closer to his new companion and she reciprocated till they literally held each other.

  ‘Riza. I like that name.’

  ‘Thanks. It used to be something else, but I changed it when I turned eighteen.

  ‘Really? What was it?’

  ‘Pookie.’

  ‘That’s cute. Why change it?’

  ‘My parents thought it was cute too. But it won’t be cute when I get older, people won’t take me seriously. And there’s another reason too. I have friend from Philippines and he say it mean something else in his country,’ she said, giggling.

  ‘What does it mean?’ Dave asked, leaning in.

  ‘A girl’s private body part.’ Her eyes drifted downwards, and Dave burst out laughing.

  Her demure delivery of the joke sealed it: he found her sweet and sexy. ‘You better change your name if you go to the Philippines or you might get people excited.’

  ‘Yes, I know.’

  ‘How old are you?’ he asked curiously.

  ‘I’m thirty,’ she responded. ‘But you should never ask a woman her age,’ she said with a mock-serious face.

  ‘Really? But you look so much younger.’ He was impressed and ran his fingers across her thighs, surprising himself with his brazen confidence. She genuinely looked ten years younger.

  ‘Thank you,’ Riza replied and smiled. ‘You’re cute, Dave.’

  The alcohol had him tipsy. He drew near her and smelled her hair. It reminded him of flowers.

  ‘How about we go to my hotel room?’ he said, lips pressed to her ear.

  ‘Okay, baby,’ she whispered back, and they went outside to hail a taxi. This is it, Dave thought, it’s what I need. A woman was finally taking an interest in him sexually, and he was taking her back to his hotel.

  It took a lot of willpower to stop himself from pouncing on Riza before they reached the hotel. The drive wasn’t long, but to him it felt like an eternity. He paid for the fare, and they got out in front of Ragan Hotel. Dave froze. Riza held a smile on her face and waited for him. She thought he’d forgotten something by the expression he held.

  ‘What’s wrong Dave?’ she asked.

  ‘Nothing,’ Dave mumbled and smiled awkwardly. She grabbed his hand and they walked inside the lobby. Riza was still smiling and gave him a hug. They got inside the elevator and went up to his room. They rushed through the hall to his room at last. Dave was tearing her clothes off the minute they walked in. Riza lay on the bed, her chest heaving in excitement. He leaned over her, kissing her neck and making his way up to her lips.

  ‘Wait,’ Riza pulled back.

  ‘What’s wrong?’

  ‘You have condom?’

  ‘Yes. Of course, a condom.’ He went over to his luggage and rummaged through it. The idea of putting on a condom seemed official. He felt like a virgin and he was scared. How odd, he thought. What’s wrong with me? Dave sighed and looked at the pack, his lips trembling. He put it back and walked into the bathroom.

  Riza called out, ‘Dave, where are you?’ But Dave wasn’t coming out. With a concerned look, she dressed and walked to the bathroom. Dave was sitting on the toilet bowl with his head buried in his hands, crying.

  ‘Are you okay?’ She knelt down and brushed his hair. Dave looked up, his eyes bloodshot and streaming with tears.

  ‘Please go. I’m sorry I brought you here.’

  ‘What’s wrong?’

  ‘Nothing.’ He got up and splashed his face with water. ‘It’s not going to happen, Riza. I’m really sorry.’ Riza looked confused. Dave quickly led her out before she had time to question further. He closed the door and sat on the edge of the bed, rubbing the tears from his eyes. ‘You’re a dick, Dave,’ he mumbled to himself. He got what he wanted and yet felt so empty.

  Chapter 12

  The following day, The Base hosted a party with laid-back music. Dave greeted the staff and had a light conversation with the barman while waiting for Sam.

  ‘You’re Sammy’s friend?’

  ‘Yeah.’ Dave didn’t realise he’d been noticed.

  ‘This one’s on the house.’ The barman placed a bottle of Corona in front of him. He was a dark-skinned Asian with a shaved head and approachable personality.

  ‘Where are you from?’ Dave asked inquisitively. He’d become more interested in people lately.

  ‘I’m from the Philippines.’

  ‘You have an American accent.’

  The barman laughed, ‘We’re an American colony.’

  ‘How long have you worked here for?’

  ‘Two years. But I’ve been around these places for a lot longer. The barman looked young but the creases under his eyes showed experience. He pulled out his phone and showed a photo on it to Dave. ‘This is my little girl and wife. This is why I’m in Hong Kong.’ The photo showed a baby with a happy smile being held by its mother.

  ‘That’s a great shot. Must be proud.’

  The barman shook his head and smiled while looking at the picture. He didn’t have to say how much he missed them. It was all in his eyes.

  ‘How about you? The barman asked.

  ‘I’m still single. But I hope one day that I show you a picture like that.’ Dave thought he’d forgotten that dream. Seeing that photo made him think how much he’d missed out on and how much having a family with Erin meant to him.

  ‘You will. I was a single man once too. As long as you really want it, it will happen. Someone always listens.’ The barman’s eyes suggested upwards as he spoke. He then excused himself and served a new customer.

  Sam came from his office and spotted him, ‘Hey Dave.’

  ‘Hey, how are you?’ They shook hands.

  ‘Recovering from the other night. I’ve been drinking orange juice and cleansing my liver all day.’ Sam held up a glass and took a gulp.

  ‘I had a fantastic night,’ Dave replied. ‘The headache was worth it.’ He wanted to forget his breakdown from the night before and get together with some relatively familiar faces.

  ‘Yep, it was fucking good. It’s like that every week Dave, I’m telling you.’ Guests came in and greeted Sam. He kept apologising to Dave for the interruptions while trying to accommodate everyone at the same time.

  ‘How’s Carla?’

  ‘She was still struggling today too. She’ll be here soon.’

  ‘Erin’s left Hong Kong?’ he asked, finally daring to bring up the topic. He was excited from just saying her name and gutted at the same time for not being with her.

  ‘Yeah, she’s gone. I only found out recently that she was leaving. A wild girl, that one. You did well,’ Sam said with an approving smile. ‘I was impressed. She does what she wants and doesn’t care about anyone’s approval.’

  ‘She’s an interesting character,’ Dave agreed, wanting her even more now after listening to what Sam had to say. Excitement built up in his chest at the mere thought of her.

  ‘People who don’t know her often find her a little arrogant and cocky, but she’s just confident and says it like she sees it.’ Two arms wrapped themselves around Sam’s neck as Carla gave him a kiss hello from behind.

  ‘Hi Dave,’ she greeted him with a peck on the check.

  ‘Hi Carla. How are you?’ Dave returned the hello with enthusiasm. S
he was just the person he wanted a word with.

  ‘A lot better than yesterday. I scarfed down a handful of pills, and it seems like just now they’re kicking in. What a wicked night! My head has been spinning for the past two days,’ Carla squinted and laughed. ‘And how did you like the evening?’ she mocked playfully.

  ‘Loved it,’ Dave answered bluntly.

  ‘She liked you Dave. It’s a shame she had to leave.’ Carla sat between the two men and took a sip of Sam’s juice.

  ‘Do you know where she went?’ Dave asked, unable to keep it to small talk any longer.

  ‘Paris. She’s finishing her studies there. Didn’t she tell you?’

  ‘No. She asked me to go with her and would only tell me where if I said yes first.’

  ‘Oh, my God!’ Carla laughed. ‘She’s nuts, that girl. That’s exactly what I would expect of her and yet it still surprises me.’

  ‘Why didn’t you say yes?’ Sam asked. ‘That’d take her by surprise.’

  ‘You should have,’ Carla agreed. ‘Shock her back and see how she responds.’ Going by their reaction, Erin must have been in the habit of throwing people off by her straightforward manner.

  ‘Hang on,’ Sam amended, ‘my suggestion was probably rushed. You just came to Hong Kong, you’ve hardly seen it. You can always go to Paris later.’

  ‘Who cares, he can come back on his way home!’ Carla cried. ‘We’re talking Paris here—sitting on the Champs-élysées in the afternoon sun sipping wine. And the food! Oh God, the food!’ Carla’s expression went all dreamy.

  ‘All right you, take it easy,’ Sam teased.

  ‘How long are you here for, Dave?’ Carla asked.

  ‘I don’t know. I hadn’t planned beyond arriving here, but now I’m getting a little over it, it’s too loud for me. It’s too much excitement for someone my age.’ Dave recognised he must have sounded like an old fart.