Replace Me

by Jennifer Foor

  I may not have gotten the girl I wanted, but I gained a friend that I could talk about anything with. My family didn’t have to approve, in fact, I liked that they didn’t, because my business was my own to keep.

  One day I would change their minds about me. I didn’t know how yet, but I wouldn’t stop working on it until I got it right.

  Lacey

  Sitting alone in an airport, with a very long flight in front of me, wasn’t exactly easy. I bit all of my fingernails and contemplated calling Shayne a dozen times to come and pick me up. The plane arrived early and boarding started shortly after. Since it was a late night flight, it wasn’t full. I had the whole row to myself. Realizing that I hadn’t packed magazines or anything to bide my time, I decided to try and go to sleep.

  That didn’t go very well. The turbulence was horrific and a few times I thought the plane was going down. As much as the stewardess kept reassuring me, I wasn’t good with it until we touched ground. Even then, my stomach was in knots and I puked in the bathroom several times before I could get myself together enough to hail a taxi.

  Of course, I didn’t speak Italian, so I had to hand the driver the written address and hope that he didn’t take me to some hostel and kill me.

  We pulled up a narrow cobblestone road as the sun was setting. My driver barely spoke English, but he managed to point to the building before handing me back the address. I stood in front of an old metal door with shaky hands, praying that this wasn’t a huge mistake.

  Before I could put my fist up to the door, I heard someone coming up behind me. There was giggling and a deep, familiar voice. I turned to see my biggest fear. Joey was standing there, with another woman. I froze and so did he.

  The woman, with her strong accent spoke first. She said something in Italian and when I shook my head, she changed to English. “You need help?”

  Joey turned to look at her. “Gia, she’s here to see me. Why don’t you go out without me tonight?”

  The woman looked from me to Joey. “You sure?”

  “Yeah.” She kissed him on each cheek before walking back down the road.

  Joey turned to me with confusion in his eyes. “Lace, what the hell are you doin’ here?”

  I covered my face. “I’m so sorry. I thought…Oh God, I feel like such a fool.”

  Joey pushed me gently to the side and unlocked his door. He grabbed my bag and pulled me inside. After climbing a set of stairs, we went through another door and entered into the main apartment.

  I was crying so heavy that I couldn’t even see the place with a clear set of eyes. Joey pulled me along and sat me down on a couch, where he kneeled down in front of me. “I can’t believe you’re here. How did you…What are you doin’?”

  I shook my head, unable to tell him the truth. I couldn’t admit that I’d come all this way to profess my love, to a man that clearly didn’t leave Maryland because of me.

  He grabbed my hands and put them up to his lips. “How did you find me? Did my mother put you up to this?”

  I sniffled and finally opened my eyes. It was blurry, but I could see that he was concerned. “Why didn’t you tell me you were leaving?”

  He leaned back and put his head down. “I didn’t need to explain my reasons to anyone, Lacey, especially you. You made it clear that we couldn’t be together.”

  “No! You don’t understand.”

  He stood up and started pacing. “Lacey, tell me why you’re here. You see, I’m tryin’ real hard to move on. I moved here to get away.”

  “Get away from what? Are you in trouble?” I couldn’t understand what he was running from. Clearly since he’d already been hooking up with new people, me being the reason was out. There had to be something else.

  He scrunched up his face. “No! I didn’t do anything wrong. Stop actin’ like you don’t know.”

  I stood up and followed where he was walking. He came to the refrigerator and leaned against it. My hands touched his back and he didn’t move. “I really don’t know.”

  He faced me and looked right into my eyes. His were sad and red. I lifted my hand and touched his face. “Don’t, Lace.”

  “Why? Why can’t I touch you? Do you hate me that much? Did you leave because you hated me?”

  Joey turned his head and rubbed his lips across my hand. “I can’t hate you.”

  “I don’t understand.” He didn’t hate me or want me. I was nothing to him, just like all the other women in his life. I backed away from him, moving my hand away and crossing my arms over my chest.

  I walked backward and he came forward, chasing me. He pulled my arms open and held them at my sides while peering into my eyes again. “What don’t you understand? I told you how I felt. I told you that you were different. I knew I shouldn’t have let myself feel that way. My mother always told us not to give a woman our heart. She said they’d just break it, but you were different. I couldn’t help myself. I had to know what it felt like to open myself to you.” He scratched his head and spun around like a mad man. “Then you go and sleep with Shayne, like I meant nothin’ to you. Do you have any idea what that felt like to finally fall for someone and have that happen? I had to leave, Lacey. I couldn’t see you again, even if it was by chance. It hurts too much knowin’ you don’t want me that way.” Joey walked into the bathroom and slammed the door behind him. “You need to go.”

  I ran toward the door and placed my palms against it. “Joey, don’t shut me out. There’s something you need to know. I can’t tell you through the door.”

  A few seconds passed and he opened it. His eyes were watery and I could tell he was emotional. This was a side of him that I’d never seen and I was scared of how he was acting. “Are you here because someone’s hurt? Is it my mom? Tell me, Lacey.” He was panicking.

  “I came because I love you,” I sobbed. “I came as soon as I found out you were gone. I know it was stupid, but I couldn’t tell you over the phone. I needed to see you. Now, after seeing you with that other woman, I know I wasted my time.”

  Joey grabbed me and pulled me into his arms. His lips were on mine. Warm passion ran through my veins as our tongues met and danced together. His hands started on my waist, but made a beeline up my shirt and under my bra. I felt his palms running over my nipples, which became hard instantly.

  Joey pulled away from our kissing and pressed his head against mine. His eyes were closed, so I closed mine. “I thought if I took this job I could forget about you and the way you made me feel, but I was wrong. I can’t get you out of my head.”

  My heart ached thinking of him using other women as a means to forget me. “So you picked up other women?”

  Joey laughed and held me closer, like he was teasing me for being jealous again. “That woman is my bosses wife. I don’t have a lot of stuff here yet, so I borrow theirs from time to time. She came to get their blender because they’re expectin’ company tomorrow night.”

  “So, you weren’t hooking up?”

  “Woman, you make me crazy!” He put both of his hands through his hair. “Why would I want to be with any other women, when all I want is you? Don’t you get it? I’m crazy for you, Lacey. I drink beer to forget you and pass out dreamin’ about you. You think I wanted to let myself feel this way? Damn it, I’ve gone my whole life without carin’ and the first time I open my heart, it gets torn to shit.”

  I began to cry again, realizing how bad I’d hurt Joey. If he’d opened up to me about his feelings, I would have never walked away. “I’m so sorry,” I grabbed his hands and looked right at him. “But I’m not leaving this time. I came all this way, not just to bring you home, but because hearing that you left crushed me. I don’t care about the past, or the head games that both of us were playing. This thing between us is real.”

  Joey stood there looking at me for the longest time. He said nothing, like he was thinking about what to say but couldn’t find the words.

  Finally, I couldn’t stand it. “Say something.”

  He picked m
e up, carrying me through the house and into his bedroom. From there, he set me down on the bed and pulled off his shirt. “You flew here to be with me, Lacey. I need you naked, so we can fuck, because I’m tired of picturin’ it in my head. I need to have the real thing.”

  Chapter 24

  Shayne

  I woke up that next morning feeling like someone that I cared about had died. Maybe it was because I hadn’t heard from Lacey and needed to know she’d arrived and everything was okay. If that prick Joey messed things up after she’d gone all that way, I was going to hop on the next flight and kill him myself.

  As amazing as it was, Ashley was already awake. I knew because I could smell coffee brewing, even though she didn’t drink it. I found her in the kitchen, eating a giant bowl of hot farina. “Hey.”

  She took a big bite before replying. “Hey, yourself. Are you tired?”

  “I don’t know what I am. Everything’s so fucked up.” I grabbed a cup and filled it with hot coffee. “I mean, I know I’m doing the right thing, but I feel like shit. What if she was the one and I let her go?”

  “Well, when I lost Ford, this last time, when I knew it was forever, I felt like I couldn’t breathe. You know what I was willin’ to risk to get him back and that wasn’t even the worst of my plans. For God sakes, I was willin’ to live with that lie as long as I could trap him into bein’ with me. It’s only been months, so I get that nobody can forgive me, but what I did was out of bein’ so damn desperate. My point is, if you love Lacey, it’s goin’ to be hard to get over her.”

  “That’s the thing. I feel like shit, but even with the guilt, I still think I could go out and hook up with someone else. I hate to admit it, but I’ve never had that feelin’ like they were the only person for me.”

  “Do you look at other women and think about Lacey?”

  I shook my head. “No, not really.”

  “There’s your answer, Shayne. You see, when I looked at other men, I only thought about Ford. None of them even compared to him, in any way.”

  I took my coffee and drank the rest of it. “Maybe you’re right. It doesn’t mean that I don’t care about her, though. What if somethin’ bad happened to her?”

  “What if somethin’ good happened and she’s just busy. I hate to say it like that, but she did fly halfway across the world to be with Joey. We both know that she wouldn’t have done that if she only planned on talkin’ to him.”

  Ash was right. I was a fool to think that she’d even remember to take a second to call me. Lacey was probably naked and in his arms. I cringed thinking about it, but appreciated that she could be happy. After all, wasn’t that what I wanted for her all along?

  I patted Ashley on the leg. “How about we go out for brunch and go out lookin’ for baby stuff. Those little ones you’re carryin’ are goin’ to need a kick-ass nursery, right?”

  Ash turned to look at me with a big smile on her face. “Really? Shayne you don’t have to spend your money on me. My dad set up an account for me to get on my feet. I don’t know the bank information, but I’m sure I can get it before we go out today.”

  I thought about her father and how he would always try to control his daughter, by offering to support her. I hated it. She needed to free herself of his hold and raise her children by herself.

  We both needed to move on and start worrying about things pertaining to our futures, instead of dwelling on things that we couldn’t change. Lacey and I were over. I knew it needed to sink in and I realized that it was what was right. A part of me would always care about her, but for now, she couldn’t be my responsibility.

  I still had to worry about my family, my living arrangements, and my future. It wasn’t like I could play house with Ash for the rest of our lives. There was going to come a time when each of us needed to start dating and living separately. We couldn’t pretend forever.

  Lacey

  Our naked bodies moved with the motions of each of our thrusts. Joey caressed my skin as if it were our first time. We’d been making love since I got there, only stopping for short breaks to recover.

  I couldn’t tire of this man because he took me to places that I never knew existed, each time we came together. I couldn’t be sure if it was the same for him, but he seemed to be enjoying me equally.

  I reached over and pinched his nipples between my nails, getting that rise out of him that I expected. He wrinkled up his face and let out a groan, before picking up his stride, pumping into me like a jack-hammer. Our bodies slapped together and both pain and pleasure sent me over the edge. I dug my nails into his wide shoulders and felt myself going into a blissful frenzy.

  Joey looked pleased, watching me lose control from his doings. Still, he wasn’t just satisfied with letting me relax. His thumb reached down and began vigorously rubbing my already sensitive bud. “I thought about this pussy every damn night. Show me again, Lace. Show me how it puckers up for me.”

  His eyes were focused on my pussy, watching for it to react to his words. I could feel it pulsating, delivering the action he wanted to see. A gush of wetness rushed out of me, coating his erect cock. He smiled again and licked his lips, while my body shuddered. I reached for him to hold me, but instead, he entered me completely and got back into the same groove as before.

  I closed my eyes, turning my head to the side, trying to relax enough to breathe normally. Out the window, I could see the sun coming up. Realizing that we’d been up all night, made me suddenly exhausted. I yawned and looked back at Joey, who was intently focused on blowing his newest load.

  I studied his face, so focused on the matter at hand. He was motivated by desire, but not just that anymore. Joey had fallen in love. He’d opened his heart up for the first time, allowing himself to feel what it was like to share a mutual affection with another person.

  That person was me and it gave me chills to think about it. As his thrusts continued, I watched him, envisioning our first moments together, before he’d let me in. It didn’t matter that it had been about the sex, or trying to forget my problems. We were here, together, because I couldn’t stand imagining my life without this man.

  This time, when my body began to shake, it was because I was crying.

  I was crying for this beautiful man that I’d almost let slip out of my life. Tears ran down my cheeks realizing how close I’d been to losing him and how happy I was to be here, in his arms where I needed to be.

  Joey grabbed my shoulders and jarred his body forcefully against mine one final time. His eyes closed and his head fell back as he shot his hot cum into me for the fifth time in one night.

  He collapsed on top of me, finally giving in to the reality that we hadn’t yet slept. I held him tightly, ignoring the sweat that covered our bodies. As I started to sob, he lifted his head and looked at me, curiously. “What’s wrong, Lace?”

  “I almost lost you,” I cried out. “I’m just so happy to be here with you, Joey. I’m sorry for staying away and fighting what was really happening between us. I should have trusted you, listened to you more.”

  He wiped my tears away with both of his thumbs. “Stop cryin’. It’ ain’t your fault. I could have been clearer, but I wasn’t sure how to be. It ain’t like I’ve been in this situation before.”

  I nodded. “I know.”

  His lips pressed against mine and he held them there. When he pulled away, we were looking right into each other’s eyes. “I thought you were usin’ me to forget Shayne. I didn’t want to admit my feelin’s to someone that didn’t want me back. Leavin’ was easier.”

  “No,” I shook my head. “It wasn’t easier. I thought you didn’t want to see me anymore. I stayed away because I was afraid that it was easy for you to forget me. It hurt me so much. I thought that sleeping with Shayne sent you over the edge and you decided that you didn’t want me anymore, in any way.”

  He rubbed my cheek and smiled. “It was the opposite. When you told me that you slept with him, I felt like I couldn’t breathe. My damn stomach hurt
so much and I wanted to hurt him so bad. That was so hard for me, Lace, hearin’ you say that you gave yourself to another man; a man you loved.”

  He was right. I had loved Shayne, in a way that was so different than the way I loved Joey. “I know you won’t understand this, but I slept with him because I wanted the closure. I did it because I knew that there was something happening with us. Sleeping with Shayne had nothing to do with love. It was about saying goodbye to something that I’d held onto for too long.”

  He shook his head and looked confused. “Are goodbye fucks somethin’ that normal couples do?”

  I shrugged. “It was a mistake.”

  Joey rolled off of me, grabbed a towel and stuck it between my legs, before pulling me close to him again. “You’re here now.”

  I reached up and touched his lips with my fingertips. He kissed them, while keeping his eyes focused on me. “I’m so sorry I hurt you. If I would have known how you really felt, I never would have touched him again. I swear I wouldn’t.”

  “Lacey, Shayne still wants you, that’s no secret. If you gave him another chance…”

  I pressed my fingers over his lips. “Shh, it’s never going to happen.”

  We got more comfortable, laying on our sides and facing each other. Joey played with my fingers, lacing them together and tickling my palm. “I’m goin’ to fuck up at some point, because I’ve got no idea how to be in a relationship.”

  “You’re doing great.” I could feel myself dosing off. The sun was in full view out the window and I knew I couldn’t fight it much longer.

  He brought my hand to his lips and held it there. I closed my eyes, letting myself fall into somber.

  “I’m so in love with you,” were the last words I heard him saying.

  Chapter 25

  Shayne