Becoming Us: Where It All Began.

by Amy Daws

  “Something big,” I say, and shrug my shoulders.

  “How did you know where I was?” His eyes look around the area like he’ll find his answer in the woods.

  “Your mom,” I say, and his eyes widen. “She’s cool. It was nice to put a face with the stories you’ve told me. My nieces already won her over, I think.”

  “Your nieces are with my mom?”

  “Mmmhmm…and Cadence.”

  “Why?” He looks down with a sad expression.

  “I wanted you to meet my family,” I shrug my shoulders.

  “I don’t get it.”

  “Just hear me out, okay?” I go to stand just a few feet away from him.

  “What happened to your eye, Finley?” he asks, stepping toward me to touch it. I grab his hand and hold it off. Feeling his hand in mine, feels like ecstasy. I never want to let go of this hand. Ever.

  “Please, Brody. Just hear me out first and I’ll explain later.”

  “Did someone…Finley, did you get…” His chest puffs up as he pulls his hand out of mine, attempting to gain control of his impeding outburst.

  “No! God, no, Brody! I was in a car accident, that’s all.”

  “A car accident? When?” Astonishment and sympathy spread across his face.

  I shake my head. I didn’t want to discuss this first, I wanted to give him my speech and then tell him later. “Brody, please. Will you just hear me out first?”

  “Finley,” he says, sounding sad and broken.

  My pulse is pounding in my veins and my nerves are blasting wildly all over me. I hate his pained face. I want to see his smiling, loving face. I have to say this. I have to do this. I hold up my black trash bag and shake it, showing him that it’s completely empty. “I have no baggage, Brody. None. And whatever baggage you think exists, simply doesn’t.” I drop the empty sack to the ground.

  He frowns, seemingly unimpressed and looks out toward the creek. He looks like he’s about to say something but I cut him off, determined to say my piece.

  “You came to me with a half-empty bag of trash. That’s all. Not very much. Not even enough to throw in the dumpster that day, if you recall. You put it back inside your apartment when you went in to find some shoes.” I smile back at the simplicity and honesty of our first meeting.

  His brow furrows and he looks up at me, his jaw ticking. “Seeing you Saturday night like that. It just brought it all back for me, Fin. So much has changed since that first day I spoke to you.”

  “I don’t care! I want you to throw whatever trash you’re still holding onto away, Brody. I want you to toss it.” He turns away and I reach out to stop him from walking away from me. I’m overwhelmed by the intense urge I have to kiss him. But I need him to hear me first. Saturday night we skipped over the talking and went right to making up—look where that left us.

  “It’s not that easy, Finley. That shit with Jake killed me. Seeing you with him…” He cocks his jaw off to the side and looks away like he can’t stand the sight of me.

  I swallow hard. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have even let him get that close to me. But none of this matters. I don’t need you to be perfect. I just need you to be mine. It’s okay for us not to be perfect.” I grab his face and force him to look at me. His eyes focus on the spot above my right eye and I see a fleeting emotion of sadness ripple over his features.

  “Listen, Brody. I threw out my bag…I need you to throw out yours. This is my way of showing you that everything is in the past. Everything, Brody.”

  He shakes his head, looking down at me.

  “You are my everything, Brody. You…forever…I want you to be my everything.” I reach into my bra and pull out the napkin from our first date. I unfold it and show him the thick bold letters.

  EVERYTHING

  He looks at the napkin in amazement, his eyes glittering with emotion. “You’ve kept that all this time?” His expression is awestruck.

  “Yes, Brody. I hold it close to my heart…because you’re everything to me.”

  His features soften and I see his last bits of reserve crumble. “Do you mean that, Finley? Because I need you to mean that. I don’t think I can handle a life without you in it.”

  “I mean it! Jesus!” I drop my hands to my hips in frustration.

  “No…I mean…don’t. Don’t get mad. I’m sorry. I believe you. It just still stings. My shit…it haunts me.” His eyes glaze over and my heart breaks at the blatant sight of his torment.

  I reach out and grab his two wrists in my hands. “This is going to sound crazy, but hear me out.” He nods. “In a way, I’m glad Saturday night happened.”

  I feel his body stiffen. I turn my round eyes on him and pierce him with all the sincerity I can muster. “Jake was a weird, dumb, stupid crush I had. But he never liked me like that, so I left him with all the power. And that sucked. It was an uncomfortable place to be in for those few weeks we hung out. But having him admit he had feelings for me was sort of awesome because it gave me all the power back.” Brody eyes me uncomfortably, clearly not impressed with this line of thinking.

  Wanting to make myself clearer, I pull his wrists toward me and he stumbles in closer to me. “The beauty of everything Jake said to me was that it made me realize I didn’t, period, give, period, a shit…period!” I pull his large hand up to my mouth and kiss his palm, letting my lips linger on the pad of his thumb. He closes his eyes, his reserve beginning to break. “I mean it, Brody. You gave that confidence to me. You made me feel like someone again. I didn’t even realize it until Jake started trying to explain himself. But seriously, since meeting you, Jake isn’t even a blip on my radar anymore. You are everything I need.”

  “I hope you mean all that, Finley, because you’re all I see anymore. I wouldn’t have been able to stay away from you for long.”

  “Likewise, stud.” I giggle, feeling my heart soar at his admission. Finally. He sighs and pulls me in for a hug, his big arms wrapping around me tightly. I relish in the familiar smell and comfort of his embrace. This man is everything I never even knew I was looking for or needing. I can’t imagine being without him—and I don’t want to. There isn’t a doubt in my mind I want a forever with him.

  He brings his hands up to cup my face, stroking his thumbs on my cheekbones. “I’m sorry,” he rasps out, his eyes red around the rims. “I’m sorry I left you in bed that morning. Dumbest fucking idea ever.”

  “Yes. Dumbest. Don’t ever do that again,” I pout. I bring the napkin up and he glances over at it. I hold it tightly to my chest and return it to the inside of my bra.

  “It’s so fucking hot you kept that all this time.” He shakes his head in amazement, then leans in and connects our lips in a smooth, soft reunion. When he inserts his tongue, settling in for an unforgettable, all consuming Brody kiss, I pull away and murmur against his mouth. “Your hands stink like worm guts.”

  His chest vibrates with a warm chuckle. “Damn, my girlfriend has such a sexy-ass mouth.” I exhale a laugh on his face. “I love us, baby,” he adds, his eyes looking seriously into mine.

  “I love us more.”

  “Not possible.” And he kisses me again, making my toes curl.

  ***

  “Babe, you have to tell me what happened to you,” he says, pausing our make-out session to touch my face.

  I tell him all the details. He grimaces when I mention how emotional I was during the drive to KC. I can see him blaming himself and I tell him what I’ve been telling everyone else that wants to shoulder some of the fault. This was me, my fault, my issues, my lesson. And it’s one I’m never forgetting.

  “So I’m curious then,” I look up at him as we walk back to our cars. “What was your plan? You said you wouldn’t have been able to stay away long. What does that mean?”

  He half smirks, looking down as he rubs hand sanitizer all over his hands. “I was miserable here. I knew as soon as I drove out of Wildwood I was being an idiot.”

  “So why didn’t you turn around?�
��

  He shakes his head and wipes the excess on his jeans. “I needed to talk to my mom. She’s pretty amazing to talk to.”

  I silently groan. “She knows everything that happened, doesn’t she?” I’m suddenly crippled with the fear of having to face her again.

  “No, not at all.”

  I sigh in relief.

  “She just knows my issues, my insecurities because of my past. She’s a Finley fan, actually.” He raises his eyebrows and nods confidently at me.

  “A Finley fan? She just met me!”

  “She can tell. She knows you’re something special, just based on stuff I’ve told her.”

  “So, what have you told her?” I ask, poking his ribs playfully.

  He shakes his head. “I’m keeping that to myself.”

  “Well, jeez! I wouldn’t have had to call in the big guns if I’d have known your mother was already a Finley fan!”

  “What’s the big guns?” he asks, looking confused.

  “My nieces! Cadence! Don’t you dare tell Cade that your mom already likes me. She’ll kill me for making her drive for nothing.”

  “It wasn’t for nothing. I can’t believe they are actually here. That’s fricken’ cool as hell. And I get to meet them finally.”

  I laugh, “They were my plan to make me look a little less crazy to your mom.”

  “My mom loves you already. She would have never thought you were crazy.”

  “Yeah, well, you’ve never mentioned that before.” I nudge my hip into his and he stumbles off the walking path slightly. “You talk about me to her a lot, huh?” I bite my lip, coyly.

  “Not a lot a lot. Not like a creepy amount. My sisters just won’t shut up about you. They are relentless.”

  “I can’t wait to meet them,” I smile.

  “Likewise,” he stops near the front of his car and pulls me in for another kiss. I savor the taste of him. Seriously, I could kiss this man all day.

  “Hey, I wanna do something,” I say, running over to my car and grabbing my cellphone. I flip it into selfie mode and hold it out and snap a photo while kissing Brody’s cheek.

  “Where are you posting that?” he asks, clearly confused.

  “Nowhere, I’m texting it to Parni.”

  “You and Parni text? I didn’t even know you had her number.”

  “Oh, yeah, we’re tight, remember? You were the one who told her that I like her so much!”

  The corners of his mouth pull down like he’s trying to conceal a smirk. Dammit, he looks sexy as hell when he does that.

  “She covered for me today at the lab and I think she might appreciate this,” I add, clicking send on our kiss pic to her.

  “Don’t take any selfies right now,” he says, shoving me backwards onto the hood of his car and spreading my legs so he can fashion himself between them.

  I raise my eyebrows, feeling suddenly nervous. “Brody, someone could see.”

  “Nah, it’s a private creek. My uncle’s. No one’s coming down here.” His hand strokes up my calf, then up my thigh. He pauses briefly, noticing the bruises on my kneecaps.

  “It kills me I wasn’t there for you,” he says, kissing above my eye and then bending over and kissing the spots on my knees gently.

  “It kills me what an idiot I was,” I grumble and oh holy shit, his hand is between my legs. I squirm at his erotic touch over top of my underwear.

  “I’m so hard right now thinking of taking you right here where I grew up.”

  My back arches into his touch, involuntarily. In a not very convincing tone, I say, “We should get back to our families.” I gasp as his finger slips around the strip of my panties.

  He rubs his five o’clock shadow against my cheek and whispers, “I used to come out here and fantasize about girls just like you, Finley. You’re my own fucking fantasy come to life. And you in this dress.” He exhales a growl and kisses me hard.

  He suddenly breaks the kiss and mutters, “You’re wet as hell. Damn, I missed you, babe. It feels like we’ve been apart so much longer than just a few days. I’m sorry as hell.”

  I groan, relishing the feel of his fingers moving inside of me. “We can’t leave your family back there waiting, Brody.” God, who the hell am I fooling?

  He stops and looks at me seriously. “There is always time for makeup sex. You make time for makeup sex. It says so in the title.” He smirks saucily at me. “Don’t worry, I’ll be quick. We have a lifetime to make up for it.”

  He kisses my nose and I smile at his sweet words. A lifetime sounds pretty freaking great to me.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

  We arrive back at Brody’s parents’ house to see his sisters have come home from school. Kaylee and Haddie are 14 and 17—and super sweet. They are continually beaming at their big brother. I feel happy that they seem to approve so easily. I even get a glimpse of his protective big brother side when Kaylee begins to tease Haddie about a boy at school. Brody instantly puffs his chest out and demands answers to ridiculous questions about who the boy is. I save Haddie by discreetly putting my panties in Brody’s pocket. Suddenly, Haddie’s boy troubles are the last thing on his mind.

  My heart swells with pride when I see Kaylee and Megan swinging and chatting easily. They seem to have really hit it off despite their small age difference. Bringing my sister and nieces may not have been completely necessary, but having Brody and his family meet them seems to take us to the next level in our relationship. We were ready for this. We needed this.

  Brody’s dad, Mike, is big and tall and has a huge head of thick dark hair, just like Brody’s, but cut much shorter. Brody is the spitting image of his father, aside from his eyes—those beauties are courtesy of Anne, who hasn’t stopped smiling at me since I came back with her very smug-looking son. Brody’s satisfied appearance may have something to do with him bending me over the hood of his car moments earlier, but we obviously won’t be getting into that.

  Cadence and Brody seem to have an instant, and fun, witty banter. It seems natural. I can tell from her eyes alone that she most definitely approves. Mike and Anne invite us all to stay for supper, but Cadence declines because she needs to get the girls home for school the next day. Brody tells Cadence that he’ll be taking me back to campus and that he’s really grateful she came today.

  Brody and I stay for supper and fall into an easy rhythm with his family. They all said they hope to meet my parents someday soon. I mention something about graduation day and Brody’s eyes positively twinkle at my mentioning our future together.

  “You ready?” Brody asks, pulling me down the sidewalk in front of his parents’ house. “I can’t wait to get you in bed.”

  I smirk. “Are we upgrading from car hoods when we get back to Wildwood?”

  “Car hoods and showers are excellent places for makeup sex. Who knew?”

  “You did, apparently,” I laugh and bite my lip.

  “Today was awesome, babe. I’m so glad you came. Meeting your sister and nieces…” he pauses, and I can tell what he’s thinking.

  Meeting the family has catapulted our already fast moving relationship to a whole new level. Seeing this part of his life only makes me want to keep him in my life even more.

  “I’m glad too.” I pull him toward me by his belt buckle after he tosses his bag into the backseat of his car.

  “Your sister and nieces are everything you’ve described them as. Jesus. I think my mom might actually have withdrawals from McKinley.”

  “I know the feeling.” I purse my lips together thoughtfully.

  “Well, you pretty much have that Kansas City job already, so you’ll be a lot closer to them again.”

  “Yes, that will be nice,” I reply, feeling slightly edgy about where our future will take us after graduation. He has his internship in Kansas City next semester and I hate the idea of being away from him again. We’ve spoken about graduation in grand ideas, but nothing specific yet. My hope is we’ll be moving in together somewhere, but I know it’s
still way too early to push it. We just went through a huge rough patch. We need time to reconnect.

  Brody leans down and kisses my lower lip that I’m chewing on nervously. “Love us.”

  “Love us, too,” I say, and get into his car to head back to reality.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

  “Yay! The lovebirds are together again!” Angela sings as Brody and I walk in the door. She and Mark are cozied up on our couch with a movie and popcorn, looking perfectly at ease with each other.

  “Ha ha,” I say, dropping my stuff by the door and perching on one of the red barstools. Brody heads to the fridge, pops the lid off a couple of beers, and hands one to me.

  “You guys look comfy,” I say, looking down at the pair of them lying on the couch. Mark is spooning Angela, who looks smug as hell.

  Mark pulls her in closer, “My own personal snuggle snatch.”

  We all burst out laughing and Mark looks confused. “You can’t say it like that!” Angela exclaims in response to his confused expression.

  “Why the hell not?” he asks, looking truly offended that we are shutting down his playful endearment for her.

  “Because it sounds like you are talking about my vagina!”

  “I think we should be talking about your vagina a lot more, as it is. So again, I don’t see the quandary.”

  “Mark, buddy,” Brody laughs, taking a swig of his beer.

  “What? If we are to be intimate someday, I should be allowed whatever endearments feel appropriate. Question: Do you want to have sex with me someday? Answer: Hell yes! I know you do. I can tell.”

  “Mark!” Angela cries as he shoves his scowling face into her neck and starts nuzzling. She giggles loudly, halfheartedly attempting to fight him off.

  My phone blasts with the Dynamite song again, indicating a text message.

  Leslie: How’d it go? Did you win him back with your sexual prowess? I don’t want to hear from sad panda Finley any more. No one likes a sad panda.

  “That song on your phone is really freaking annoying,” Angela says, tearing her face away from Mark’s.