by Ames, Ilsa
“Cara…” He breathed my name, and I felt something go hot and tense inside of me. His hand came up over mine to guide me, to show me how to touch him in the right way. “That’s it, baby, just like that.”
He moved his hand away and put it behind his head. He didn’t open his eyes, he just relaxed into my hand. When his hips twitched and he moaned, that hot twist inside of me twisted harder. I knew it was desire; I’d learned enough about it now, but I’d also come to realize that instant appeasement stole a lot of the pleasure away. If I waited, let it build, it would explode in a glorious way.
“Move back, Cara,” he instructed and he moved up to push me to my back. His green eyes burned into mine. “I want to teach you something.”
I’d used my left hand on him but now he reached for my right one. He took it in his hand and moved down my body. “Find your clit, baby. That’s it.”
I found the spot that felt the best with my middle finger and pressed it into the bump there. I felt wet heat and my left hand twitched on him as pleasure bolted through the tiny organ. “Good girl, Cara. Now, move your hand on me as you touch yourself. Let me watch you make yourself come.”
I felt heat blush along my cheeks, but didn’t stop. I experimented with different pressures, with different movements, until I found something that made me gasp, and then moved both of my hands together. I moved my left hand with more speed as the pressure built within me, and I felt him throb in my hand in response. I wondered if I’d get him off this way, if he’d come in my hand as I got myself off, and then his hand came up to twitch at my nipple.
“Don’t come yet, Cara, not yet.” He breathed the words into my ear. “Let me watch you, just a little while longer.”
I shuddered beside him, and slowed the circles my finger made. It was just there, though, right there, just another breath. “No baby, wait for me. Concentrate on my cock. Feel how it responds to you.”
His hand gripped over mine and guided me on his shaft, faster, tighter. So tight I thought it should hurt him, but the groan that trembled up his throat was a sound of pleasure, not pain. “I love how your fingers feel around me.”
The tips of my finger just met the edge of my thumb over him, but he still pressed harder, tighter against his own flesh. “Make me feel it, Cara. Make me feel you.”
His breath came faster, as did mine, but I hadn’t stopped my other hand as it teased at me.
“Fuck, I missed you more than I thought was possible.” His hips twisted and he groaned, but all I could think about was his words. He’d missed me?
“I dreamed about you; I thought about you. I even had to excuse myself from dinner one night because I was so hard I had to jerk myself off in my room. I couldn’t concentrate because of you.”
I don’t know what had driven him to make such admissions, and they made my heart sing and my body pulse, but I knew I couldn’t get attached. I was just the hired help, after all. If Andrej ever got serious about a woman again, she’d have to come from a family that was titled, that had money at least. My mother may have been from his country, but she had not been from a wealthy family. In essence, I wasn’t wife material. I knew that. Mistress maybe, but definitely not a wife. I knew I couldn’t let this man anywhere near my heart. He’d ruin it without a second thought, and probably wouldn’t even know it.
I’d let myself go so far with him. I wanted this discovery, these memories that would keep me warm in the lonely years ahead of me. It had to end, at some point, I know that, so I stored each moment in my mind. He might make my body sing and my brain melt, but I’m not stupid, the day would come when he was no longer a part of my life.
I’d lost my train of thought, but a deep guttural sound brought my attention back to what I had in my hand and what it meant. I watched his passion rise, and the way he clenched his jaw to fight it, to hold back. He gasped at one point, and I thought that was the end of it, but he pushed my hand away and moved between my thighs. I opened for him and knew I always would. He was in my blood, in my mind, and I’d never get him out of it now.
“Don’t stop what you’re doing, Cara. I want you to keep touching yourself while I’m inside of you.” I started to protest, but he just gave me a sexy smirk, and admonished me. “I thought you wanted me to teach you, Cara? I thought you wanted to know all there was to know about sex?”
“Oh…oh my.” I didn’t know what else to say and knew my face showed it. That statement was more than admonishment; it was a promise of things to come.
“Hold on, baby, this is a whole new train you’re about to ride.” He grinned wider and pulled my hips close, which brought my head flat down on the bed. “Keep teasing that clit, Cara, don’t stop, no matter what.”
I held my breath and waited, my fingers stroked a steady circle on my clit, and he slid into me slickly. It wasn’t so tight this time, it didn’t take so long for him to sink balls-deep into me, but it was just as good. The friction of his skin against mine was eased by the slick arousal that dripped from my pussy. And I wasn’t ashamed. He’d done that to me, he’d made me that wet, and I know for a fact no other man had ever done that.
There were sounds, wet sounds as he pumped into me, his rhythm turned the sounds into music. My body became attuned to his, and my hips moved in time to the rhythm he’d set. My finger danced on the part of me that throbbed now with little sparks that served to warn me. I’d figured it out now, what the signs meant, and tried to hold back, tried to wait, but his left hand clenched on my ass and reminded me of that last time, when his finger had slid into me…back there. It had felt so good, something I’d never dreamed possible, and it had felt so wrong and so right at the same time. I wanted him to do it again, but awkwardness held me back. How did you ask a man to finger your ass?
I felt heat flood my cheeks at the same time that a surge ran up my spine, straight from that spot between my thighs.
“Andrej…”
It was a way to warn him, a way to ask for more, a way to let him know I wanted him to join me. My nails scraped up his back to sink into his shoulders and I bit down on his neck as he leaned over me to thrust deeper, faster, and so much harder. I let go of his shoulder to cry out again, to let it all out, and didn’t care what it looked like when my back arched off the bed. All I knew was I had come apart, and Andrej was right behind me. That’s all that mattered. Later I’d worry about other things. Later I’d try to make it all make sense. For now, I had him and that was all that really mattered.
Chapter 8
Andrej
“I don’t care what the footman saw, Viktor, my affairs are nobody’s business.”
“But, sir…aren’t they?” Only Viktor could get away with such a rebuke, but not too many.
“I’m going to let that slide, Viktor, this time. Tell me what you mean?” I had to remind him who was in charge. “You’re only going to get this one chance, so I’d suggest you make it a good explanation of why you just overstepped your duties.”
I knew my left eyebrow was arched. I was a little angry that my PA wanted to tell me what to do, but I did pay him for that.
“Sir, you’ve uh, started an affair with your daughter’s nanny. Don’t you think it’s a little…”
“Cliché?” I supplied to him. “Of course it is, but why should I care? The woman makes me happy, and she’s discreet. It’s nobody’s business.”
It’d been a month since the day I’d stormed home early from my trip to have her. A month since my obsession had reached a crescendo, and a place where I couldn’t ignore it any longer. A month since I’d sank into her slick heat, making her mine.
“That may be, sir, but you haven’t been so discreet have you? You were seen leaving her apartments early in the morning.”
“It is nobody’s business what I do or who I do it with, Viktor. Now, what else is on your mind?” His argument hadn’t won me over, and I was ready to move on.
I wanted my cake, and to eat it too, as long as the cake didn’t complain too much. Cara d
idn’t complain at all, she never demanded promises, or words of love from me; she just accepted my attentions and went on with her duties to Livia. She knew not to push too hard, I thought. Unlike Viktor, apparently. She might’ve fascinated me more than anybody else ever had, but she knew her place and she knew what this was.
I had no plans for the future. Even if deep in my own head, I’d already decided what to name our damn children, if we had any. Even if I had already decided to buy her a house, and planned to set her up in it. That was an investment, just in case. It wasn’t really a plan for the future.
…Or at least, I kept telling myself that.
“Viktor?” I asked, my eyebrow high again. “What else is there to discuss?”
“Your father wishes to see you.” That stopped the irritated tattoo of my pen against the desk. I hadn’t realized I’d done it until I stopped.
“What? Why?”
“I’m not privy to the king’s thoughts, sir, or I’d tell you.”
“It better not be this business with Cara. It really is nothing serious. Why is everybody in such a panic about it?” I really couldn’t think why. It wasn’t like I’d proposed to her; I’d only fucked her.
“I’m sure I don’t know.” Viktor, a much shorter man than me with dark hair and light eyes looked away, as if he could barely contain his own irritation. The poor man had to deal with me, he was bound to have moments where he reconsidered his choice of employment. I was far from an easy man to work for sometimes. Like at the current moment.
“Fine, let them know I’m on my way.” Them was my father’s own assistants. He had far more than I did, and they’d be in his office or his room. “Text me to let me know where he’s at. I’ll head for his bedroom; it’s not nine in the morning yet, he’ll probably still be in bed.”
“I will, sir. Good day.”
I’d made Cara mine over and over again throughout the last month. I’d taught her how to please herself, how to please me, and how to please us both. She was a quick, and eager learner, and I still hadn’t had my fill of her. That concerned me a bit, but not enough to worry about it. I was older than I was when I’d married Livia’s mother, perhaps what I’d needed all along was a steady woman to keep me occupied. Ivana hadn’t kept my interest for long, though I don’t think she ever actually tried.
It was a novelty, that was all. I had my own little doll to play with, that’s all it was. I’d get tired of her eventually, I kept telling myself. I strode through the halls with confidence. Viktor’s prattle or the whispers that followed along behind me didn’t bother me a bit. Let the masses think what they want, they would anyway.
“I’ve come to see my father,” I told the footman who waited outside of his bedroom door. The man nodded before he disappeared behind the door. He came out a moment later to hold the door open for me.
I didn’t thank the man, I just walked in. My father was still in the bed, silk pajamas covered his large frame. He wasn’t as tall as me, but he was, and had always been a powerful man. Far more militaristic than I was, he’d always been prepared to gather his troops to fight off invasion, though most of those came in the form of takeover bids for our companies or through efforts to invest in our country. All had been rebutted and we had not been attacked since his father’s time.
“Son, good to see you. Have a seat.” He waved at an antique couch, something from the seventeenth century that always surprised me with how sturdy it was. It looked delicate and fragile, but had withstood the test of time, even if the coverings had been replaced a few dozen times.
“What may I do for you, Father?” We didn’t stand on formality and never had. I waited with a bland expression on my face, unconcerned about what he might have to say now. I suspected it was about Cara. I’d heard more than Viktor’s complaints, and suspected the news had reached my father at last.
“This woman of yours…”
Straight to the point, as always, he got out of the bed and went to the folded pile of clothes that had been left out for him. He went behind a silk screen to change. When he came out, he went to a pitcher and bowl to wash up. He was a touch old-fashioned, my father.
“What about her?” I bristled, despite the fact that I knew the question would come at some point.
“Do you remember when you were fifteen and going off to America for the first time on your own?” He swabbed his face with shaving foam before he picked up an old fashioned steel blade razor. He stropped the implement over a piece of leather until he deemed it sharp enough and began the task he would leave to no servant. He didn’t trust any of them enough.
“Yes, I remember, why?” I shifted on the settee uncomfortably. He’d said a lot of things to me in the weeks before my trip, mainly about how royals did not come down with STDs.
“Do you remember the part where we talked about the help and how we don’t fuck them?” He’d seemed calm, collected until he said the word fuck. My father was never so crude, he never used such common terms, and that was all I needed to know that he was angry.
“She’s not the help…” I began but stopped. She was, actually.
“She is, and a damn fine au pair to your daughter. She’s brought joy to Livia’s face and I will not have you fucking that up to appease your baser needs. The young woman in question deserves far better than to be treated like that anyway. I am quite disappointed in you, Andrej, and I’ve never had to say that before. You’ve done me proud, but this little debacle, it’s just not called for. It is, in fact, beneath you.” My father nailed me to my seat with angry green eyes.
“She’s not just the help, Father. She means something to me.” I admitted to more than just him, I admitted it to myself for the first time. I’d treated her as little more than a convenience, as my plaything, a distraction that amused me, and that had been wrong of me. Anger surged through me when he spoke again.
“She’s got a pussy son, there are a million others just like it out there. Hell, from what I’ve seen, you can even buy fake ones now. Go buy one and leave the help alone. I insist.”
My temper flared. “I can’t do that, as I said, she’s more than just sex.”
“Oh, come off it, Andrej. The girl is wonderful for Livia, but she can be replaced. And I can see to it if you don’t stop this.”
“You wouldn’t dare!” I stood up from the couch then and I stared him down.
“I’m still the king, Andrej. You’d do well to remember that.” He looked at me coldly and I felt my heart lurch in my chest.
“I’ll do as I please, Father. Take the crown from me. I don’t care. I won’t be bossed around about my private life. I have an heir, that’s all you needed from me to begin with right? You forced me to marry Ivana, and now you want to force the only woman who’s ever actually made me feel anything out of my life? I’ve had enough.” I threw down the gauntlet with a final glare and walked out of the room.
I hadn’t meant to take it so far, I hadn’t meant to give up the crown, but it seems I just had. And for what? I walked down the hall, to my office and sat down at my desk without a word to Viktor. For a woman with a beautiful face, a body that amazed me, and a need for sex that matched my own. Even more than that, Cara was a woman with curiosity, love, and generosity that I’ve never seen in anyone.
Ivana had taught me something, even beyond how shallow and selfish she could be. She’d taught me that doing what you’re supposed to doesn’t mean you’ll end up happy. Sometimes, it makes you more miserable than you ever thought possible. And Cara?
Up to this point, Cara had taught me that sex could be far more than just a biological need that had to be fulfilled. She’d curled my toes with the things she’d learned, she’d amazed me, and blown my mind. I had denied that, even to myself, for too long. Now, I had to figure out how to change it.
I thought about the things I’d done over the last few weeks, how I’d lead her on with whispered words of need and desire when I’d lost my control, only to turn away from her when it was over. I never h
eld her if I stayed in her bed; I always rolled over. It was a habit I’d never quite broken. I know it was more than that, with her, though. It was a way to build a wall between us, a wall she couldn’t climb over.
I’d never meant to hurt her, and she’d never let on that I had, but I had to wonder. She’d known the score, the role she played, surely? I hadn’t led her on, or made promises to her, but had those broken moments when I couldn’t really hide what I thought from her made promises I hadn’t meant to make? I remembered the face of the woman she’d been when she showed up that first day.
Stunned, in awe, and totally innocent. She might not have been a virgin, but she had been protected from the world in many ways. I’d tainted her, to a degree. Maybe I was a little ahead of myself though. Perhaps all she wanted was a fling with a prince? She’d go home, sell the story to a tabloid, and have her fifteen minutes of fame. No, I decided, nobody could play the innocent that smoothly or that convincingly.
Cara was what she presented herself to be. A lonely woman who had taken what had been offered. Did she want more than that, though? I know now that I do, but was it more than the mistress’s position I’d kind of settled on already? Would she be content with that?
I mulled over the question for the rest of the day. In the evening I had a phone call from Livia’s tutor. “Miss Anderson is ill, Your Highness, and says that she will not be able to take care of Livia this evening. Might you make arrangements for her? I have an appointment this evening that I can’t miss.”
“Of course, thank you. Please let Cara—” I stopped myself. “Please let Miss Anderson know that I will spend the evening with my daughter. No need to worry over it.”