by Ames, Ilsa
I canceled the meetings I had and told Viktor to take over for the rest of the day. I had no idea what the repercussions were going to be of the argument I’d had with my father, and I didn’t really care. I wanted to see my daughter, to spend some time with her, and get this all out of my head for a bit. I’d spent a lot more time with Livia since Cara had taken me to task about the whole matter, and I’d come to find that Livia calmed down quite a bit. I hated to admit that Cara was right, but I know she was.
All this time, poor little Livia had only wanted her father’s attention. I could remember what that was like. I’d said to myself that I’d got over it, moved on, but why should Livia have to? She was only a child, after all, she didn’t understand. I wished my father had spent far more time with me when I was a child, but he’d been the king my entire life. I was only the crown prince, for however long that stood now. I could afford to take some time with my child, and would.
I headed to that section of the palace and let the stressful thoughts drift away. I’d think about them later, when I had to. For now, Livia needed my attention, and she’d have it all.
Chapter 9
Cara
I headed to the sauna on the palace grounds, determined to get this nausea out of my system. Alexa, Livia’s tutor and the only woman who really talked to me even after all this time, had told me it wouldn’t help as she looked at me doubtfully. I was cold, and then hot, and then cold, and nausea kept a non-stop wave of misery that had me nearly in tears.
I stripped down, put on a towel, and stepped into the private chamber full of delicious steam. My skin pebbled at first, but then it settled into a steady sweat. I’d learned about the sauna from several overheard conversations and knew it was good for a lot of things. I’d decided to try it when the herbal tea Alexa gave me didn’t work.
For the last couple of days, I’d been sick nearly all day long. I put it off to PMS, which would explain my sore breasts and how tired I was. I was a wreck around that time and always had been. Sometimes the cramps started a week in advance and my body would go absolutely crazy with hot flashes and nausea mixed in for good measure. I’d tried to explain it to doctors in the past, but they’d all brushed it aside as hysteria. From what I’d read, it wasn’t normal, but they didn’t seem too concerned, so I’d just learned to live with it.
Nothing new for me, really, this latest travesty of my body’s response to my female gender. If only I could be one of those women who barely noticed the whole process. I settled onto the bench in the small space and thought about the last few weeks, in an attempt to distract myself.
My thoughts were always on Andrej, nothing new there, either. Instead of the satisfaction I thought I’d get out of our escapades, I’d only learned a deeper craving for even more from him. I never said it out loud, or even asked him for more than he gave. I knew I was only a fling to him, even with those unguarded words he’d sometimes say. I was nothing more than a distraction for him.
I never allowed myself to think of the future, only the here and now. I knew I’d go one day, and that he’d forget about me. I’m sure I’d be forgotten in an instant. He must be tired of the constant need for instruction and guidance. He’d taught me a lot, had delighted in my education if his expression and responses were anything to go by. He had made no promises, nor had he given any hint that he might want something more.
I knew it would hurt when it was over, that I’d ache for him every day for the rest of my life, but right now, I couldn’t protect myself. I only fell deeper under his spell with each new way he taught me to find pleasure. I’d never be able to forget that, no matter how many years passed. Hopefully, that would be some time far off, in the future I didn’t want to think about. Forever never happened, even for those who were genuinely in love. My parents, and Janet with her lonely life, had proven that to me.
Noises outside of the sauna caught my attention and I waited to see who would come in. I wasn’t exactly naked, but I didn’t feel comfortable with other men with so little protection on. If it was another woman I’d stay. The steamy heat had finally started to warm me up inside and I didn’t want to go, but I was far too American to have the kind of nonchalance so many European women had about being alone and so vulnerable around an unknown man.
I’d just pulled the towel tight around my chest and was about to stand up when I saw Andrej walk in with a towel around his hips. My throat went dry and my lips parted. Lord, he was beautiful. There wasn’t a mark on his body. I knew, I’d checked. It was like the man had lived in a bubble his entire life because there wasn’t a single scar, or even a stray bit of ink on him. Tanned and perfect, Andrej was a paragon among men.
And, for now, he was all mine. That cocky grin on his face told me what he had in mind, and I felt the secret smile I had only for him twist my face into a mask of mystery. Suddenly, the soreness in my breasts and the nausea disappeared as every part of me leaned towards him, yearned for him.
“I’ve found you at last. I got Alexa’s message and went to see Livia.” He sat down beside me with a sigh of relief. “She’s a handful, that child of mine.”
How could it be sexy to hear a man talk about the care he’d given his child? It was, and my body reacted to his words in a way that was now familiar. “She’s taking a nap, I guess? It’s about time for that.”
“Yes. It must be a relief for you, when she finally collapses,” he chuckled.
“Oh, she isn’t too bad.” I smiled and ran a finger down his bicep. “She’s a smart girl, inquisitive and always running at a hundred miles per hour, but she’s fun to be around.”
“She must be if you’re still here. Or do I have something to do with that? Maybe just a little bit?” His grin was full of self-assurance but it also held something new. Shy hopefulness? No, surely not.
“You might have something to do with it.” I paused and looked away before I turned back with a wide grin. “Just a little.”
“Maybe I need to convince you more?”
“Do I want convincing though? Perhaps I just want you to…take what’s already yours.” I held my face up to his as I breathed the words out. The fact that we were in the sauna, a public place where we could be caught, gave me a thrill that left me more adventurous than usual. Andrej liked it when I teased him like that, when I was just a little bit bad for him.
His hands came up and clenched around my upper arm, a smirk of curiosity played around his lips. I wanted to lick the corners of those lips. I knew by now that he’d either taste of whiskey or the hard toffee candy he’d made into a habit. Either way, I wanted to taste him.
“Say it again, Cara. Say you’re mine.” It wasn’t a question, it was a demand, and I couldn’t deny him.
“I’m yours, Andrej.” He pushed my towel away and his fingers didn’t hesitate or tease at all, they just went straight down between my thighs to find out for certain how true the words were.
“You’re right, and your pussy knows it. You’re so ready for me.” There was something about the way he said the words, about his appearance here, at this hour, that told me something was wrong, that he needed reassurance from me, but I had no idea what had driven him to that point.
He’d never said anything about a future, why would he come to me for anything but sex? I knew that role, he’d taught me a lot in the time we’d been together, but he’d never wanted to talk to me. There’d been no indication from him that I was anything more than a new toy he couldn’t get enough of. I knew, like most toys, that he’d grow tired of me, and I’d prepared for that. This need, the way he looked into my eyes, and then looked away, as if afraid he’d see something he didn’t like? That was scary. Or maybe he thought he’d see more than he wanted to?
I didn’t know how to react to any of it so I did the only thing I could do; I gave into the pleasure only he could give me. His fingers slid into me, two thick digits that opened my body to what would come later. He found that spot, the one that made me forget my own name, and began to str
oke me, his lips against my now damp neck.
“You need this, don’t you, Cara? You need to have me inside you.”
“I do, Andrej, I need it so much.” My legs went tight around his hand, but my hips continued to move to the pace he’d set and I fucked myself with his fingers. “I need all of you, all day long.”
It was an admission I hadn’t meant to make, but it made him grunt in satisfaction, so I had to assume it was the right way to go. His mouth crashed down onto mine then, and the words stopped as he ground his hand into me. The world was wet, hot, and sticky and Andrej was the center of it all.
I panted his name as the pleasure within me grew, as he forced his hand to move despite the clamp of my thighs, so that he could stroke into me. His mouth moved down, traced down my neck, to a nipple, and he clamped down on it in the way we both knew I loved the most.
“Don’t stop, Andrej, fuck, don’t stop. Make me feel you.” His fingers twirled inside of me, they stroked me until something deep inside of me shattered, then exploded. I felt my walls squeeze around his fingers, I felt the way they pulsed, and mirrored his groan of encouragement. He knew how to fuck me, how to get me off, and he did exactly that.
He swallowed up every last whimper with a kiss that would leave my lips sore but happy. I rode every moment of it out, until I couldn’t come another second, and tried to push his hands away. Andrej was never one to give up, and rather than let me rest for a moment, he pulled me over his lap and pulled me over him. I sank down onto his long, thick length and ground my hips down to take every last inch. When I had all of him, when I could take no more because he had no more to give, I clawed my hands into his shoulders and looked right into his eyes.
“Fuck me, Andrej. Fuck me hard and fast. Please.” I knew my eyes were two blue orbs of pleas.
“I’ll fuck you however I damn well feel like, Cara.” His thumb pressed into my bottom lip and I lifted an eyebrow at his statement.
I’d been his pliant little kitten for far too long, perhaps. Maybe it was time to get out my claws.
“You’ll fuck me however I tell you to fuck me, Andrej, or you won’t fuck me at all.” His eyes went wide and that smirk came back right before he stood up, my legs wrapped around his waist and his hands slid under my ass to support me.
“And if I decide to fuck you right into this wall?” He thrust into me and it felt so fucking good.
I had to wait until a shiver passed before I could speak. “Then that’s where I’ll get fucked. But only because I’ve decided I will die if you don’t.”
“I like your train of thought.” He thrust into me again, his hands tight on my ass, almost painful, but in a way that made my nipples hard and my clit throb.
“You’re dripping all over my dick, do you know that?” He slicked into me again, the wet sound intoxicated me, but not as much as the feel of him inside of me. “I can’t wait to feel you pulse around me, Cara. It gets me off so god damned hard.”
He thrust deeper, harder, and I pushed myself back into the wall, my arms around his neck. I wanted his mouth on my nipples and he knew it. He teased one with delicate, soft licks that only made me squirm. He shifted to the other one and that’s where he bit down. Not hard, just enough to walk that fine line between pleasure and pain. That line he knew I loved.
I wasn’t that same almost-virgin he’d fucked that first time. I’d learned a lot, and now I reaped the rewards of every moment of it. I clenched around him, on purpose, and he sputtered a groan of surprise. His dick pulsed inside of me, and I knew he’d lost control. I knew from the moment he walked in and spoke to me that he wanted a long, hard session with me, but that little trick had sent us both over the edge.
I came hard around him, our bodies fused together as he groaned against my full breast. He held me up, he didn’t let me fall, but I knew that desperate sound in the back of his throat, that helpless sound, was Andrej’s control gone at last.
We held onto each other as the waves took us, and when we came back to earth, when he sat me down at last, I knew something had changed. This man who had been my teacher, who had controlled every aspect of when and how I came, had just lost control. I’d gained some kind of traction, some place within him, and that could change the future.
Reality crashed back down when he pulled away and we slumped on the bench together. I looked at him as he gasped for air, and knew that a man like him wasn’t my destiny. A bump in the road, yes, a chance I’d never get again, most definitely. He was not my future, though. Some other woman was his future. A much more expensive, far more refined woman who wasn’t me.
Chapter 10
Andrej
Cara went back to her rooms and I went to mine. She looked like she felt better, but something was wrong with her. She’d pulled away from me at the end, just as I’d felt a connection with her I’d tried to deny for far too long. I’d let her go. I didn’t know what to say to her.
I’m sorry I’ve been a dick about this for so long? I’m sorry I treated you like my mistress? I’m sorry I’m a piece of shit human being who couldn’t see you were worth far more than the stolen moments I’ve given you?
None of that seemed right. Oh, it was right enough, of course, but it didn’t seem adequate. Yeah, adequate was the right word. I’d been a royal douche to her, and she’d never complained about it. Cara was smart though, she’d known the score from the first. I wasn’t meant for her. But, what if I wasn’t a prince? What if I was the same as any other man? Wouldn’t that change it all?
Would she still want me then? I scratched at my jaw and relaxed into the steam. I’d need some water soon, but for now, I needed to think all of this through. Cara didn’t want me because I was a prince, I could see in her face she had no illusions about that. Sure, she’d been stunned at first, but after a few days of the hell my daughter could put a person through, the novelty had worn off. She didn’t even call me your highness or prince anymore; I was simply Andrej.
I’d accepted that, I fucked her every night, after all. It was more familiar than I’d let any other servant…fuck! I slapped at my own forehead and groaned in disgust. Cara wasn’t just a servant, and my own brain wouldn’t even acknowledge it, to a degree. I had to change all of this somehow. Livia needed an au pair, of that there was no doubt, but I couldn’t keep Cara on as my daughter’s servant, if this was to go any further.
That reminded me of my father’s words. Would he really cast me out if I didn’t stop my relationship with Cara? Not that it was really a relationship right now. Except for the sex part. I didn’t know a lot about her, mainly because I’ve never asked. Did she want to have a family of her own one day? Did she plan a future with a husband and a nice house?
Whoa, that was a little too far ahead…husbands and houses were way too far down the line. I just wanted her to be more than a servant. Girlfriend? I shook my head in the quiet of the sauna. Yeah, girlfriend sounded nice. We weren’t living in the Dark Ages, or even the Victorian age, we lived in modern times. I was no longer married, there was no need for Cara to be labeled as my mistress. I could also date whoever I pleased.
I went out of the sauna, showered, and dressed again. I went to the garage with the fleet of cars. I’d lose that if father cast me out. The trucks, the sleek, luxurious sports cars and SUVs. That would all be gone. I had my own money, part of a title my father couldn’t touch, king or not, but these vehicles all belonged to the crown. And Livia?
What about my daughter? Would she lose her title as princess? She was my heir; would Father strike her out of the line too to teach me a lesson? That hurt, but then I remember the way she used to lose her smile when I said I had meetings. I wouldn’t have to do any of that anymore and she’d see a lot more of me. What if my father tried to take her from me? Would he do that?
I ground my hand into a fist and fought the need to punch something. Princes did not display unnecessary violence. My entire life I’d done what I’d been told to do. I went off to America and Spain, to Germany and
Japan, and gotten my youthful wildness ‘out of my system’ when my father told me to. I’d married at my father’s command. I’d produced a child when he said it was the right time. Well, Ivana had produced the child, I’d just helped her conceive it. I’d always done as I’d been told.
I think it’s time I stop that. Cara was worth it, and so was Livia. As long as my father didn’t try to use her against me, I could do this. I could walk away from it all. I turned the light off in the garage and left the room. I went to Livia’s bedroom and found her still asleep. Cara was asleep too, sprawled out on the couch in Livia’s sitting room.
She looked pale and there were dark circles under her eyes, just the hint of distress. They weren’t very dark, but I could see them. She wasn’t well. I stroked her hair, and smiled when she murmured in her sleep.
“I’ll be up in a second, Livia.” She put her hand under her cheek and went right back to sleep.
I’d have to call the doctor in for her if this continued. She hadn’t looked sick earlier, but then I’d been blinded by lust. Maybe she had been ill then.
“I think about you from the moment I wake up until I fall asleep at night, Cara. What does that mean?” She didn’t offer an answer; she was asleep so she hadn’t even heard me.
I sank down in front of the couch and looked at her. Her skin was so smooth and clear you couldn’t even see a single pore. Her hair was swept back behind her, but the last rays of sunlight still gleamed from the light strands. Her hair was just as silky as her skin, but her beauty was far more than skin deep. She made me laugh, even when she didn’t mean to, mainly because she was just so easily flustered. She’d go red and that would make something in me grow warm and soft for her.
She was inquisitive about the world. I’d seen that when she didn’t know I was around to see her. She’d be in a room and wander off to find an answer to something, rather than wait around for an answer to come to her as many of the people in my own world would do. I’d caught her scent more than once and followed her from room to room until she’d stop in whatever area that provided her the answer.