A Heaven Hill Christmas

by Laramie Briscoe

  *

  Tatum held her breath as she waited for Remy to speak. She wasn’t sure which words would come out of his mouth, he looked like he wasn’t sure either. Judging by the way his eyes kept sweeping over her face, he was struggling. She had a pretty damn good idea it was with the feelings he had for her, but she’d made the move last time, and she wasn’t sure she could deal with possible rejection again.

  “Do you like it?” she asked him one more time, prodding him to answer, even though it made her nervous as hell. Christine had sworn it made her look like a completely different person. While Tatum could look in the mirror herself and see how different she looked, she wanted desperately to know what he thought. His opinion mattered more than anyone else’s, maybe even more than her own.

  She felt him tug slightly on the ends of her hair, and she welcomed that tug. It caused a ribbon of desire to start at the top of her head, and roll down to the bottoms of her feet. Maybe he liked the new lighter color of the strands there – they were lighter than they’d ever been. She’d never messed with the color of her hair, but Christine had sworn up and down that lightening the ends a small amount would make a huge difference, and she was right. It had.

  “You look beautiful,” he finally spoke.

  “Not like a little girl anymore?” She asked, swallowing roughly against the lump in her throat. It felt like her whole life depended on his answer.

  “You haven’t been a little girl for a long time.”

  His voice was raspy, almost like she’d ripped the words from his throat while he’d been struggling to keep them in.

  “But I have to admit,” he trailed his hand back down her neck, and she did her best to keep her eyes open at his touch. “Seeing your neck like this does something to me.”

  His touch did something to her too. She could feel her breasts tightening, becoming heavy against the material holding them up. Her nipples pebbling against the lace. She wanted him to pull her into his chest, let her rub herself up and down his body – ease the ache he caused every time he allowed himself to look at her without screening his gaze.

  “I hoped you’d see me differently,” she admitted, her voice as hoarse as his had been. Stepping closer to him, she tilted her head to the side, holding her breath. Her eyes closed slowly, but she refused to close them all the way. If he were going to kiss her, she wanted to be present for the whole thing. She didn’t want him claiming later that she didn’t know what she was doing and he’d taken advantage of her.

  Remy stepped closer too. Tatum breathed in deeply as she tangled her fingers in his long-sleeve shirt, feeling that she was tugging him into her body. It was easy to let her pull him. He out weighed her by at least seventy-five pounds, and he knew he could resist if he really wanted to, but he didn’t. Finally, he didn’t want to.

  She waited, giving him control of the moment, because the last time she took control he’d rejected her. After taking such a big chance in the salon seat today, she couldn’t take another rejection. The slight tilt of her head was the only indication she wanted this. Waiting was killing her, letting him make the first move was killing her. She made a sound in the back of her throat, half-want mixed with half-frustration. Slowly his right hand untangled from her hair and grasped the back of her neck, pulling her close….almost close enough.

  “Fuck it,” he whispered before he brought their lips together in a kiss that rocked her world right down to the ground.

  She swore angels sang in the background, fireworks erupted in the sky, and she almost wept with joy because she was getting what she wanted. Patience paid off in a big way.

  ‡

  Chapter Three

  Remy told himself to slow down as he grasped her neck, hauling Tatum closer to him. He cautioned his lust-drunk body not to make a fool of itself. He warned his libido not to let this go too far. They were in the middle of the bakery, in the middle of downtown. Anyone could walk through that door from some dumbass off the street, to her brother, to her dad. But he couldn’t stop, couldn’t force his hand not to trail down her body and grasp her tight ass in his fingers. He wanted desperately to pull her lower half into his, wanted to shove his thigh between her legs and feel the heat he knew would be there. His tongue was forceful as it made its way into her mouth, testing how far she’d let him go.

  Turned out she’d let him go as far as he wanted to.

  His brain tried to warn him that this was progressing too quickly. It was getting too out of control, too fast. If he didn’t watch it, he’d be picking her up and putting her ass first against the nearest wall. He was losing his mind, losing control over his body – and he’d had control over his body since he’s been a seventeen-year-old kid. This was Tatum, he reminded himself. When she pushed against him, and his back hit the cold glass of the refrigerator case, he was jolted back to the present.

  Wrenching his lips from hers, he gasped a breath into his air-starved lungs. Tilting her head up, yanking against the strands of her hair, he forced her eyes to meet his. Those damn Walker eyes – such an intense blue they appeared black – stared up at him. They showed a level of desire he wasn’t sure she should have at her age, but fuck if he wasn’t feeling it, too.

  “Are you gonna run away again?” she asked, swiping her bottom lip with her tongue.

  He groaned, thinking about all the ways he could have put her tongue to good use. He opened his mouth and tried to speak once, twice, three times, before he forced his body to calm down. Finding his voice, he pulled on her hair a little more when she tried to disengage from him. “Run away? I’m trying to protect you. I’m too old for you,” he repeated the same mantra he’d been repeating since she’d grown a pair of tits and he couldn’t help but notice.

  “Or you’re scared of my dad and brother,” she taunted.

  Irritation flashed across his face and he knew she could see it because she tried to take a step back, out of his personal space. “Wrong kiddo,” he threw the nickname in for good measure. “I respect them enough not to do what you’re positively begging me for. You want me so much I can smell it, I’m doing you a favor, Tatum.”

  If he’d thrown cold water on her, he wasn’t sure she would have withdrawn back into herself faster. He could physically feel it. The air around them got colder, and he was pissed that he’d had to force her hand like that.

  “So because you respect my family, you won’t touch me?”

  It was a fucking lie and he knew it, because if she kept coming to him, if she kept throwing herself at him, there wasn’t any way he’d be able to tell her no indefinitely. Eventually he would give in because he ached for her, always. He wanted to get to know this new Tatum, wanted her to decide on her own if she wanted to be with someone like him. Meaning his past, thorns and all. He was pretty sure she hadn’t heard his life story like most everyone else had.

  The bitch of the whole thing?

  He didn’t deserve her. Not being the guy he was. Not from the beginnings he’d come from. Thanks to his brother, Cash, he’d grown up to be a good man, but it didn’t change his pedigree. Didn’t change that he came from a man who liked to beat on women. That was reason number one why he never kept women around for longer than a few nights. That temper lived in him, he’d felt it more than once. He’d never raised his hand to a woman, but damn if anger didn’t course through his body sometimes. Luckily he’d found an outlet with boxing, riding his bike, and the pickup games of basketball he played in still. By all accounts, he should have a weekly appointment with Doc Jones, but he couldn’t bring himself to let anyone else know his damage. It was bad enough that it rolled around in his head, forcing him to keep away from the one thing he wanted most in the world. All he knew was sometimes that anger was uncontrollable and he had to be alone. What if he was with her, and she wouldn’t leave him alone when that anger swirled up in him?

  He didn’t know what to do with the feelings when they got to be so strong. The only thing he’d found that worked was solitude. And what happen
ed when she wanted to help him through it? What happened when this little spitfire refuse to leave his side? He was afraid to find out the answer. Eventually, he knew he’d have to face his issues head on but he didn’t trust himself with Tatum Walker as he was now, and that was the reality he had to live with.

  Clearing his throat, he took a step to the side so he could put some distance between them. Closing himself off, he crossed his arms over his chest, trying to give the impression he wasn’t interested anymore. He should get a fucking Oscar. “It’s not respect Tatum, it’s the fact I don’t trust myself with you.”

  There it was, a half-truth hanging between the two of them.

  She gave him a smirk and a soft look. “That’s okay, I trust you with everything. You have to know that Rem.”

  He had to put a stop to this, no matter how hot she looked, no matter how good she tasted. She obviously thought she could change him, fix him… no matter what was wrong with him – her love would change him and they would be happy together. He’d seen in too often in too many relationships. Putting the brakes on this was the best thing to do for both of them. “That right there tells me I can’t trust myself – because you do.”

  He turned his back to her, walking to the door. “Tell Harper I said bye.”

  “Tell her yourself,” Tatum fired back, a bit of her normal personality showing through.

  “Kiddo,” he searched her face until she met his eyes. “Don’t give me your trust. You don’t know what you’re handing to me, and I sure as fuck don’t deserve it.”

  He walked out of Southern Delights before he was tempted to go back across the room and kiss her senseless one last time. The best thing he could do for himself, for her, was stay the fuck away from her. She was a temptation he couldn’t afford to give into, because he knew one thing better than he knew anything else. If he ever did find himself inside her, balls deep, panting against her throat while she scratched her nails down his back, screaming in pleasure? He’d sure as fuck never let her go.

  ‡

  Chapter Four

  He should have brought a date. Those were the first words Remy thought when he walked through the door of the clubhouse. It hit him like a ton of bricks, and all he wanted to do was turn around and head back to Cash and Harper’s. Normally, he lived at the clubhouse, but he’d had dinner at their place tonight. He could relieve the babysitter watching Maddy, and he wouldn’t have to worry about keeping his guard up.

  Couples were paired off, which meant anyone without a plus one would be inevitably thrown together. Looking up, he saw mistletoe was hung randomly around the room. Shit. Since he was the youngest, he seemed to be one of the few without a woman on his arm. Sure as the world turned, he’d find himself thrown toward someone tonight.

  Gazing around the room, he didn’t see Tatum and for that he was extremely thankful. He’d been able to avoid her since the day at Harper’s bakery, but it’d hadn’t been easy. Not that she’d gone out of her way to be around him but they were in the same places and situations a lot because of the club, and she helped Roni handle the paperwork in the office. If he continued to avoid the office like the plague, someone was going to suspect something was up. His luck it would be Tyler and he knew he wouldn’t be able to lie to him.

  “You want a beer?” Drew asked as he came to stand next to him, slinging an arm around his shoulder.

  A beer wouldn’t begin to get him through this night, no doubt about that. “We got anything stronger?” he asked.

  A smile slid slowly across Drew’s face. “We got us some Pappy Van Winkle, but hardly anybody will drink it with me.”

  Remy was down for that, anything to help the nervous energy he felt knowing he’d see Tatum tonight. “Let’s pull up some seats and raise our glasses to our Savior.”

  Drew clapped him on the back and led him over to the bar. Remy knew in his bones that Drew wouldn’t be this close to him, wouldn’t be drinking with him, and sure as hell wouldn’t be celebrating with him if he knew Remy’d had his tongue down Tatum’s throat a week and a half ago. So far, it appeared that was his and Tatum’s secret and Remy intended to keep it that way.

  *

  “How short is this?” Tatum asked as she turned to Addie, bending slightly over at the waist.

  The two of them were in Tatum’s room at the Walkers’ house, getting ready for the Christmas party. The dress she wore was one she’d worn before, but it had been over a year, and apparently she’d still been growing because it was shorter than she remembered it being. Luckily for her, it wasn’t snowing or below zero outside.

  “Be careful bending over, but if you wanna get Remy’s blood boiling, please bend over in front of him. He’ll get a glimpse of it all,” Addie grinned, giving her a look. Addie was privy to everything going on between her and Remy because they were friends and Tatum knew that Addie would never judge her and would keep any secret she asked her to.

  Remy. Remington Sawyer. There had never been another man in her life who made her so frustrated. Always, she’d been Liam’s little girl and Drew’s little sister and she was used to getting her way. There weren’t many men who told her No; not many women either, come to think of it. Not to say she was a spoiled brat… exactly. Tatum preferred to think of herself as stubborn and knowing exactly what she wanted. Since she’d been a kid she’d known not only what was expected of her, but what to expect from others. So far, there had been no event able to change her mind or her vision of where Tatum the adult would land. Tatum Walker knew who she was, what she wanted, where she was going, and how the fuck she was going to get there.

  Since they’d kissed in the bakery, she’d thought back through every tiny detail of it more times than she cared to count. She could still feel his lips on hers, could feel the dig of his fingertips in her flesh if she thought back hard enough. She’d woken up from dreams hot, panting, her body screaming for a release she couldn’t give herself. Nothing felt as good as being with him did. She’d made up her mind—Remy was it for her, but damn he wasn’t going to be easy to convince.

  She didn’t answer Addie as she smoothed the skirt down, over her hips, making sure to cover the white thong she wore. She’d contemplated going commando because of the almost see-through fabric of the dress, but with it being so short, she’d decided against it. Tousling her hair the way Christine had shown her, she gave the strands a coat of hair spray. It was a light formula; she could still run her fingers through it – hoped Remy would be running his fingers through it by the end of the night. Lifting up two tubes of lipstick, she raised a dark eyebrow at Addie.

  “Pale pink innocence or red-hot Lolita?” she asked, running the liquid lipsticks between her palms, warming them up. She loved the liquid formula, but she knew she’d have one shot to get it right. Her look tonight had taken every bit of makeup knowledge she had.

  “In that white dress, with that dark, smoky eye, and those fuck-me heels? Girl, you are red-hot Lolita the whole way. The only thing you’re gonna have to worry about is if some guy sees you before Remy does. And don’t worry, when I walk in, I’ll make sure to keep your Dad and brother pre-occupied until you can get Remy alone. You owe me for this,” Addie gave her a side-eye. “Big time.”

  Red-hot Lolita. Tatum grinned. She sure as hell was.

  “I’m not overdressed am I?” Tatum asked, looking down at the little black dress Addie wore.

  “Hell no,” Addie grabbed her purse, shaking her head. “You know, if there were someone in the club I was interested in, I’d be dressing the same way as you. But you know I don’t want some guy that thinks of my dad as Yoda.”

  Tatum giggled. “Tyler does kinda act like it half the time and I wish I did like some guy who wasn’t involved in the club. I worry about Dad and Drew, how they’re gonna react, but I can’t help it,” she pushed her hair back from her face. “There’s something about Remy I can’t let go of. I tried to tell myself it’ll be better for everyone if I just let it go, because if it goes bad between us, it’s
gonna be really bad.”

  “But you like to play with fire,” Addie supplied.

  She did and so far she hadn’t gotten burned, but she knew her time might come someday but that was a long way off and she wasn’t going to worry about it now.

  ‡

  Chapter Five

  He knew the second she walked in, just like he’d known when she’d entered the bakery. Even seven shots of Pappy in, he could feel her, he knew she was there by the way the hair on the back of his neck stood up, the goosebumps he got on his arms and the way his dick stirred to attention. He wasn’t sure what kind of hold Tatum Walker held over him, but it was strong, maybe dangerously so, like some sort of Jedi Mind Trick he’d never be able to resist. And dammit if his hand didn’t shake as he took his next shot.

  “Too much for you?” Drew asked as he noticed the slight tremble of the other man’s hand.

  How did he tell the man sitting beside him, he was hard up for his little sister? Easy. He didn’t.

  “Nah, I’m good, but I gotta hit the head. Be back.”

  Plan number two when plan number one didn’t work? Run and hope she wouldn’t follow. As much alcohol as he had consumed, he wasn’t sure he could push her away this time. After all, he was only a man and he wasn’t immune to the way she looked at him, the way she reacted to him, and the way she came on to him. He didn’t even allow himself to look over his shoulder to, see how she was dressed. He just flat-out walked away.

  *

  “Here’s your chance,” Addie hissed as she spotted Remy making a run for it. “He’s going to the garage. Nobody’s gonna be out there.”