Love, Lies and Shattered Hearts

by Carol May

  Brushing it off with just a stiff back, I continued our conversation about how I got to Topeka, Kansas. "I called my psychiatrist who prescribed something really good because I faintly remember being on Blaine's airplane. I will tell you Mister that I am not so lucky about what I saw when I arrived. I can still see you for the first time. That is one memory, I would prefer to wipe out of my mind completely."

  Wincing as he moves what little of his body that isn't broken, Brad says, "Charli, I know what that is like remember?"

  Squeezing my eyes shut, how could I be so stupid to forget. Sighing deeply, " Of course. I remember. How could I not? I suppose we have both put the other through some rough times. I can only imagine how John has felt, he has had to suffer through both of our accidents."

  Glancing up at the ceiling, I take a deep breath when Brad responds, "Obviously, I don't know what I have put the two of you through but let me assure you it is nothing compared to your accident and what we had to endure."

  "No, I guess not. With mine, you had to deal with me as well as the death of our parents." Wiping a tear from my cheek, "I am so sorry for begging them to go with us. You have no idea how many times I have said if only they hadn't gone."

  "Enough Sis, it is all history. We can’t change what happened besides I have come to realize that saying if only is a complete waste of your mental energy and time. We all must accept that we can’t change our past we can only use it to create our future. Now let’s forget all that stuff I want you to start telling me about this Blaine. He seems to have swept into your life in a dramatic way. Are you sure this is a good idea?"

  Smiling, I think about those wide shoulders, the bluest eyes I have ever seen, and the way he says Darlin to me. "Well, he owns his own company named after himself, which Lana finds totally conceited."

  With a bit of a grimace, he says, “I have to admit that I agree with Lana. Sis, really? You don't think it is?"

  Looking back at my brother, I attempt to brush it off but I finally agree, “Your right. I think it is a little. If you ever tell Lana that I think that also I will kill you.” Our conversation continues with me explaining my relationship with Blaine. "At first it was just something light and fun. No strings attached."

  Clearing his throat, Brad asks, "But now? I take it is a little more complicated than the occasional hookup? Which really bothers me to think about you hooking up. "Really? I am in my thirties, was married once and lived with someone. You have difficulty thinking about me hooking up? Wow."

  Cutting his eyes over at me, Brad continues our conversation, "Now that you mention it, I want to ask something."

  With a snort, I can't help but reply just a little sassy, "My mentioning something or not has never stopped you before. What is it you want to ask?" Even though I have a relatively good idea.

  "Have you resolved your feelings for "the bastard as John and I call him."

  "What you call him? Do the two of you have conversations about me and Houston?"

  Looking at me as if I have lost my mind, Brad continues, "Of course we do, you're our baby sis. We almost lost you once, don't you think we have been concerned? You showed up at my door looking like hell, if I remember correctly. From what I understand that look was nothing compared to the way you looked when John first arrived in Miami.” Clearing his throat, he continues, “By the way, he finally told me what he found when he got to Miami. That is a conversation we will have at another time because I really don’t feel up to getting into it. Every time I think about you having some strange man in bed with you that you struggled to know his name sends my blood pressure to a level that no doubt is unhealthy."

  Shutting my eyes I exhale long and slowly before I speak attempting to defend myself. What really is there to say. Finally, I manage to squeak out that at least he had his pants on which I can tell really doesn’t make him feel any better. Deep down, it makes me feel cared for knowing they talk about me. Even worrying about me but just a little closer to the surface, I am ticked off. Which I have no difficulty expressing. Hopefully, he won’t bring up the fact that I didn’t answer the question about Houston. I still have feelings for him. How could I not? Maybe, I always will but he isn’t someone I can have. My head understands this.

  Getting back to Blaine, I explain how he has not rushed me. How kind and patient he was once I explained that I was just coming off of a bad experience. That’s when it actually dawns on me that Blaine has never ask about the person I was involved with. I wonder if he knows who it was? I am sure his people included all of that in the background information he received about me. Letting that thought go for now, I explain how he plans on returning here within the next week or so, which will give Brad the opportunity to meet him.

  Nodding his head slowly his eyes are beginning to droop. He is tired. I sit quietly beside his bed with my hand over his. Thanking God, that I have been given this opportunity. Closing my eyes I lean back allowing my thoughts to drift to Houston. All this conversation and questions are pushing me to think about him. I am unsure about my true feelings. What I do know is I have moved beyond the hatred I once felt. Our time in Salinas allowed me to do that but I have no idea how I actually feel. Those feelings are safely tucked away in a part of my brain that I prefer not to visit. The most obvious thought is that he continues to hold a special place in my heart. I will always love Houston in a special way but my head knows I must move on which I think that is what I am doing with Blaine. Moving on.

  I have spent every waking moment here with Brad. I have no doubt he is tired of me hoovering over him. That is simply to bad. I am actually enjoying our time together. We have talked more than I think we ever have. I know all about his business and the fact that he doesn’t really have a special someone even though there have been several women visitors. Many people have been calling, some have made the short drive into the city to visit. His room is filled with all types of get well soon items. It is apparent that many people care for him.

  True to his word, Blaine has returned to Topeka which actually surprised me. Not that I ever doubted his intention but I understand things don't always go as planned especially when you are the head of a large corporation. Lying here in bed, snuggled up beside him, I must admit I am better rested when I wake up in a bed with him in it. Several months ago, I feared I might never feel this way again. Somehow, without me realizing it, Blaine is quickly becoming very important to me which I must admit scares me.

  Hearing his alarm sound, I turn away from him to the side of the bed wishing we could stay here longer. I have lost track of the day of the week several times but I do believe it is Saturday which means another week has come and gone since the accident, making it a very long seven weeks. John returned home after Brad was completely conscious. His employer has been fantastic but in his words, he could only miss so much.

  Last night after his arrival and a visit to the hospital which entailed an almost grueling session with my brother, Blaine and I didn't have an extended verbal conversation. Smiling I think about the physical conversation our bodies shared. We were lost in each other, making excellent use of whatever time we have together. I have no idea how long he will be with me. In all actuality, I don't want to think about it. What I do want to think about is the amazingly passionate man that is stirring beside me. Until I saw him yesterday, I didn't understand exactly how much I had missed him.

  Nibbling on my neck, I hear him as he manages to speak between those bites, "Wake up, sleepyhead. We have slept until just past noon but I don't suppose that is actually late since we saw the sunrise this morning."

  Smiling, I have to agree with him, "No, I don't suppose it is but I have to admit, I can't remember the last time I slept this late."

  Wrapping his arm around me, he says, "I have a day of relaxation planned for you."

  "Blaine, I don't think I should be away from Brad for a whole day."

  Continuing to nibble on my neck he bites just a little harder then says, "Darlin, do not attempt to give me
any sass."

  Sighing as I turn to face him, my reply is simply, "Why Mr. Carlton, you must be mistaken I would never ever give you any sass." Pulling me on top of him, he silences me with a sensually deep kiss.

  "I have special plans for you today."

  Pulling myself up to my knees, as I sit astride him tracing the smoothness of his chest, I say, "Hum, I like the sound of that. We can just stay right here. I can make it special for you as well."

  Placing his hands on each of my wrists to stop my fingers, he quickly responds, "As much as I would like to remain here with you all day, having mad passionate sex, I think you need an outing." Placing his finger on my lips, he continues, "Before you make an attempt to fight me on this, I can guarantee you Brad is fine with this. Don't give me your cat eyed look."

  I can't help but run my nails across his firm chest leaving just a hint of some red marks behind I ask, "What do you mean my cat eyed look? I don't have one of those."

  With a smirk, he continues, "Yes, you do and you damn well know you do. It's the one you are giving me right now."

  Attempting the change the subject from what he calls my cat eyed look, I ask, "How in the world could you know Brad is fine with it? You didn't ask him last night because I was with the two of you the entire time."

  Reaching up to take both of my bare breasts, he responds to my playful scratch with some equally playful squeezing. "I might have had a phone conversation with him, a day or two ago."

  Continuing his assault of my breast he carries on, "If I hadn't made plans for us, I would definitely consider staying right here with my face buried between these two perfectly formed gorgeous breasts. As much as I know, we would both find great pleasure in that, I have something in mind for the day that you will equally enjoy, just in a different way."

  Chapter 33

  As we exit the building, I break into a smile. I should have known Blaine couldn’t go with us using a taxi today or the SUV that he has. Parked in front of the building is the newest model of the Cadillac Escalade. I can almost hear the smile in his voice when he asks if I like it. He continues, “I actually wanted a coupe for us to zip around in today.”

  Standing beside him I am waiting for him to continue but I take the bait and ask, “Oh. Why didn’t you get one then?” I think I already know the answer but I am demonstrating an amount of patience that I am not normally known for. Just about that exact moment a man exits the building, walks around us, gets into the Escalade and drives away. I am a little shocked. Well alright then. I have no doubt my facial expression is a mixed bag of confusion and shock as I look at Blaine. Looking down at me he says, “Because I thought you might enjoy this more.” My mouth drops open as the dream car from my youth pulls up. My heart is racing as I manage to say’ “Blaine, I love it!” Walking to the 67 Ford Mustang convertible my heart is pounding. It is even the perfect color not quite candy apple red but deeper. I would say almost the color of a garnet. I stand taking in the image of this beauty. I can’t help myself as I get my phone out to snap a few pictures to show John and Brad. Explain to Blake that my brothers will be so jealous he smiles saying, “I am glad you are happy with my decision. I know they will enjoy the pictures but wait until you get to tell them about driving it. That is what will make them really jealous.” Leading me around this baby he opens the door for me (I love that he does that.). As I sit down into the black leather interior I can’t help but close my eyes just taking this all in. After we are both safety belted in, I turn the key and she roars to life.

  Pulling up in front of the Kansas state capital building, I am puzzled as to why he would give me directions for here. It’s a Saturday. From the looks of the parking lot, we must be the only people here. Before I can say anything, he says, “Let’s go. You will enjoy this.” This day is getting stranger by the minute. I close the car door when he asks, “Did you enjoy the drive?” Smiling I reply, “It was fantastic. How did you know?” Laughing with a just a hint of mystery, he calmly responds with, “A true gentleman never divulges all of his secrets,” I am not about to allow him to get away with that as he takes my hand. Tugging on his I stop us at the bottom of the stone steps. “Really? You think I am going to accept that? How did you know?” Lifting my eyebrows in almost a comical way I continue, “ Do tell Mr. Mystery.”

  Pulling me to him he wraps his arms around me and flashes those pearly whites of his saying, “ I know what you are thinking and no, I didn’t ask your brothers. Of course, that would have been even easier. I saw you looking at a picture of one on the internet one evening when we were lounging around. I recognized the lust in those eyes.” Tilting my chin up so we are looking even more at each other he elaborates, “I have had the opportunity to see that exact lustful look many times especially when you are on top. Anyway, that night I tucked that little bit of information away for another day. I thought this would be a good day for it.”

  Pulling him close to me, I say into his chest, “I’m glad you remembered.”

  “I wasn’t sure if the shade of red would be good. Since you were looking at a blue one on the internet. ”

  Pulling back, I turn to admire what I consider Detroit’s best. “It is perfect. I admit I have always preferred the blue but this shade of red has changed my mind. It is different from what I would actually expect for a red. Thank you.”

  Turning us to look up the steps, sweeps his arm out in somewhat of a grand fashion and asks, “Shall we continue with our day?”

  Nodding yes, we tackle the steps.

  We stop about halfway up on a landing, I can’t help but to turn to take in the beautiful grounds of this historic building while Blaine texts someone. I must admit my eyes land on that beauty in the parking lot more than once. I just can’t help myself.

  As we reach the top, we are joined by a man maybe in his early twenties. Without blinking an eye, Blaine asks, "Is everything ready?"

  "Yes, sir. Just as you instructed. If you will follow me, we will begin."

  Gently placing his hand in the small of my back, Blaine guides me as we move through a stunning set of heavy wooden doors which no doubt are hand carved. I am actually at a loss for words. Even the stone floors are exceptional as our personnel guide tells us that the words etched in stone are the names of the one hundred and five counties that make up the state. I can’t help but go and find the name of the county I grew up in. I look up at Blaine noticing a hint of a grin. "I know you love old buildings, so I called in a few favors. My conversation with your brother was to confirm if you had been here before."

  Returning his smile, I say, "No, I haven't."

  "He said he wasn't sure but didn't believe so. He also thought it was an excellent idea and that you would enjoy it immensely."

  Moving across the white marble floor our footsteps echo throughout the first floor. We take a caged elevator to the third floor, where we pause to admire the world class Senate chamber. Blaine leans in whispering in my ear, "Which one of these forty desks do you want me to take you on?" He lingers there for only a brief moment to swipe the tip of his tongue across my ear. With that simple motion I can feel my breasts begin to get heavy. Looking around the room, I smile, as my eyes focus on my response.

  Forgetting about the guide, I turn into him causing our bodies to barely touch as I rise on my toes, "I would prefer one of the columns. If I heard our guide correctly their are twenty-six, either one will do." Pulling away from him, our eyes meet.

  We have spent four hours touring this beautiful building I believe I have stopped to admire every mural, painting and all the intricate work that went into it. Somewhere on the fifth floor the guide disappeared. We walk up the nearly three hundred steps to the dome. At this very moment, I am beyond happy that I have on flats. Blaine suggests we step outside to look across Topeka. That was one of those moments you hear people say my breath was taken away. As I stand taking in the the view, I now understand why he said all those single file steps would definitely be worth the trek. This has been a wonderf
ul outing. I feel a pair of strong arms encircle my waist as we silently stand together lost in the view of Topeka. Turning in his arms, I thank him for the day. I am surprised when he says in that southern accent of his, “Darlin, the day isn’t over just yet.”

  After we returned to the Mustang, Blaine once again gives me directions to our next destination. I offer to let him drive but he insists this beauty is for me to drive. Flashing him a big toothy grin, I open the driver’s door. Secretly, I am doing a fist pump and saying alright.

  Now we are ending the day with a picnic in a nearby state park, at least I suppose it could be classified as a picnic. That was how Blaine described our next stop as we pulled away from the Capitol.

  Pulling into the parking space, I am careful to park in a space that is away from most of the other vehicles. Since I have no idea where we are actually heading, I follow his lead. I seem to do quite a bit of that which actually is fine with me. I have come to realize lately that I like not having to make so many decisions about small simple things. I get to make plenty when planning events for SCT. Putting Supreme Corporate Travel and all those issues that are waiting in Miami out of my mind, I am enjoying the walk down this tree lined stone path. These beautiful trees displaying the golden colors of autumn. Once we reach our destination, I find a small elegantly set table that would rival any of the five star restaurants in Miami, under a canopy of multicolored tree branches. Along side the table is a bottle of something chilling. My breath is taken away by the scene lying before me. It is in this moment, that I understand my feelings for Blaine Carlton. I love him but I am not exactly sure I am in love with him if that makes any sense what so ever. I have made a promise to myself that never again will I fall madly in love with someone. There is definitely a huge difference between the two types of love. My heart simply can’t take another experience of being in love because the first two times weren’t exactly stellar experiences. One was an abuser and the other a consummate lire. I scold myself. “Enough of that line of thinking. This has been a special day. Blaine has gone to great lengths to ensure that my mind is free from worry. It isn’t fair to him to think like that. I must enjoy the remainder of the day.”