Cockatoo

by Christopher Cummings

  Tina found it quite challenging and entertaining but only half her mind was on the job. The other half was wondering about Graham and half hoping he would try to creep up to her. But she did not think any opportunity would present itself as she was with such a big group. However at 2030hrs Lt Cdr Hazard organized supper and they were told to leave two people at the signal station while the others had hot Milo and biscuits over at the tents.

  “I’ll stay,” Tina volunteered. The other person was Blake. He was told to stay and the others all trooped off across the road. Tina took it on herself to do the writing as Blake called to her the dots and dashes. As she did Tina wondered if Graham was close enough to be able to see her face in the glow of her torch. ‘I hope so,’ she thought.

  But the grass was now wet and it was getting cold and she doubted if the army cadets would be crawling through the bush in those conditions. She knew from the radio that there had been a few ‘contacts’ along the roads and at various other signal stations during the previous hour but nothing had happened near the HQ.

  Then a thick bank of cloud obscured Stewarts Head. Some even drifted in among the trees where Tina was, making the lights of the HQ camp go misty. Blake grunted and said, “Can’t see a blasted thing now! I will just do a pee while I get the chance.”

  “We are supposed to always have two people here, just in case,” Tina reminded him, her heart lifting with both hope and anxiety.

  Blake stood up. “It’ll be alright. I won’t be long.” With that he hurried off across the road.

  Tina suddenly felt very isolated and anxious and she turned to look towards the camp. As she did there was the sound of rustling grass near her and she jumped with fright and turned to look.

  It was Graham. He came forward at a crouch, all covered in some sort of woolly, shaggy camouflage cover and with his face smeared with camouflage cream. He was grinning from ear to ear and obviously really enjoying himself. “Good! I thought he would never go,” he said.

  Tina was thrilled- but also torn. ‘I should cry out,’ she told herself.

  But she didn’t. Indeed all she seemed able to do was sit and let him kneel and put his arms around her. It was only when he tried to kiss her that she stopped him. “Not with all that horrible muck on your face!” she cried softly.

  Graham nodded and used his sleeves and handkerchief to hastily wipe most of the cam cream away. Then he moved closer, his eyes continually flicking from her to the HQ camp. Tina felt a surge of delight. ‘He’s going to kiss me!’ she thought. She knew that was what he had said he would do but she had expected a bit more of preliminary cuddling and talking.

  Instead he just took her in his arms and covered her lips with his. For a few moments she was so surprised that she did not react. Then she felt the warmth of desire pulse through her and she responded. The sheer thrill of the risk excited her but she also felt it was very romantic. They drew apart for a few seconds and Graham again studied the camp. “That was nice,” he murmured. “You feel great.”

  With that he pulled her to him and kissed her again. This time Tina returned the kisses with interest and she began to heat up as she felt his strong male body pressing against hers. ‘He is aroused,’ she noted, both pleased and anxious at the same time. She thought it was terribly romantic that he had crept through the bush in the night to be with her.

  They drew apart and looked at each other. Tina found she was breathless and she licked dry lips.

  “Have you been watching us all the time?” she whispered.

  Graham shook his head. “No. We went back to our hide to have a meal.”

  “Hide?”

  “A secret camp,” Graham explained.

  “Where is it?” Tina asked.

  Graham pointed up the road. “Just off an old side track up near the New Dam,” he answered. Then he smiled and said, “Stop talking. They might hear us and I didn’t crawl through all that wet grass just to talk.”

  Tina was thrilled at that and despite his wet clothes and the smell of his sweat she happily allowed him to hold her tight. They kissed again. As they did Tina saw that Graham was glancing past her even as he kissed but she understood that he did want to get caught and forgave him the lack of attention. And she was in no doubt that he was physically aroused. As he kissed he stroked her body with his hands, sending waves of heat through her.

  Then she realized that his right hand was actually gently caressing her left breast. For a few moments she was so surprised that she did not react. It was what she knew lovers did but she was still shocked, even as his touch set her on fire with desire. And it felt very nice. ‘But this is too fast,’ she told herself, afraid she might lose control and do things she would really regret.

  Firmly she reached up and moved his hand away. His response was to stop kissing and whisper, “Sorry.” Then he kissed her again and she forgave him and let him.

  Suddenly Graham stiffened and he stopped kissing. He drew back into a crouch and stared towards the camp. Tina heard the sound of voices and footsteps heading their way.

  “Got to go!” Graham whispered. He knelt forward and gave her a last quick kiss, then turned and slipped away into the long grass.

  No sooner had he gone than three people arrived: Lt Cdr Hazard, Petty Officer O’Leary and Andrew. Lt Cdr Hazard said, “What is that message saying?”

  ‘Message?’ Tina wondered. Then she experienced a sensation of ghastly shock when she saw that the signal lamp on Stewarts Head was flashing. ‘Oh no!’ she thought, wondering how long it had been going. “I don’t know sir. I didn’t see it,” she replied flushing hot with shame and anxiety.

  Lt Cdr Hazard grunted with annoyance and came closer, “I thought there were supposed to be two of you here. Where is the other person?”

  “Blake was here sir, just a moment ago. He just went to the toilet,” Tina answered. She knew her answer wasn’t the whole truth and she blushed with shame at the lie.

  Lt Cdr Hazard shone his torch down on the open notebook beside Tina and said, “Did you copy any of the message?”

  “No sir,” Tina replied, shame and guilt making her burn.

  “What’s that on your face?” Petty Officer O’Leary asked, his torch moving to shine full on her.

  Tina felt another burning stab of guilt and anxiety. She knew instantly it was camouflage cream but did not know what to say. Not wanting to openly lie she said nothing. The others bent to look.

  It was Andrew who answered. “It looks like camouflage cream to me,” he said, his voice both hurt and accusing at the same time.

  Tina rubbed at her face and some cream came off on her finger tips. She saw it was green cream and she could only swallow and feel even worse. A swirl of sickness began to form in her stomach.

  “Camouflage cream?” Lt Cdr Hazard said in puzzlement.

  “Army cadets!” Andrew growled. Then he bent closer. “Tina, has Graham Kirk been here?”

  Tina could only sit and nod. Tears were forming and she was beginning to feel nauseous.

  Lt Cdr Hazard asked, “What army cadets?”

  Andrew answered him a very hurt, hard voice. “Tina is going out with an army cadet from our school sir.”

  “Are you? Has he been here?” Lt Cdr Hazard asked, anger sounding in his tone.

  “Yes sir!” Tina sobbed. Now the tears did come, along with shame and burning memorises.

  Worse still all the others were now arriving back and there was a babble of conversation and whispering to add to her hurt. Then it got worse. Petty Officer O’Leary moved his torch to look around and then said, “What’s this?”

  He held up a sheet of paper which had been taped to the signal torch. Tina looked at it in horror, suspecting what it was. She had to blink to clear her tears to see better. Then she experienced an even deeper wave of shock and embarrassment. Clearly printed on the paper was:

  2 Platoon Army Cadets

  CUO MacAlsistair

  CSGT Grenfell

  CCPL Kirk


  CCPL Bell

  The awful realization burst on Tina that while Graham had been kissing her at least one other army cadet had been there, taping the paper to the torch. The name Stephen Bell flitted through her mind. A fierce wave of embarrassment coursed through her as she remembered those passionate kisses and then Graham’s roaming hand. Then the shame of being watched was replaced by a much darker and more hurtful idea.

  ‘Did Graham just do that so the others could sneak in?’ she wondered.

  The thought that she might have been used in that way really stung and even though she had doubts she could not push the idea out.

  It got rapidly worse as the paper was thrust under her nose by an angry Petty Officer O’Leary. “How come they could sneak up and stick this on the torch if you were guarding it?” he asked in a very accusing tone.

  Tina could only shake her head and sob. She looked up and saw a row of hostile faces all looking down at her in the torchlight. She noted a reproachful look on Sarah’s face and felt so awful she just wanted to earth to swallow her up.

  At that moment Blake returned and Tina had the irrational urge to shout at him to say none of this would have happened if he had stayed there. But in her shame and misery she said nothing.

  Blake looked around and said, “What’s going on?”

  Six voices all spoke at once and Tina heard comments like: ‘Let us down,’ and ‘Let the enemy in’. To her shame Petty Officer O’Leary made the aside, “Sleeping with the enemy eh?”

  The connotation of disloyalty and of promiscuous sex both stung Tina but she had no answer. Into her mind swirled heated images of Graham’s aroused state and of his hand on her breast.

  Lt Cdr Hazard snapped, “That is enough talk like that thank you Petty Officer!” Then he turned on Blake. “Well, where have you been?” he snapped.

  Blake explained and after hearing the lame excuse Lt Cdr Hazard then blasted him for leaving his post. Blake obviously did not realize what had gone wrong until the paper was shown to him. He then became very defensive and kept muttering he had to go to the dunny. Others now used their torches to look around and trails of flattened grass were quickly found that showed at least three or four army cadets had crawled right up to the signal station. Some cadets started following the tracks but Lt Cdr Hazard called them back.

  “You are not going to run around the bush in the dark trying to catch army cadets. You don’t have the training or the right equipment. Now get back to running this signal station,” he snapped.

  Petty Officer O’Leary then said, “Sir, Tina probably told the army cadets where to find us. She might be in communication with them.”

  “I did not!” Tina cried, horrified at the accusation.

  “You could have been sending them signals,” Petty Officer O’Leary retorted.

  “That’s enough!” Lt Cdr Hazard said. “Seaman Babcock, go over to the HQ tent. Sub Lieutenant Mullion, you go with her please.”

  Tina stood and walked towards the camp, stumbling frequently as her tears made it hard to see. Sub Lt Mullion walked with her and took her elbow to steady her. Once there Lt Cdr Hazard joined them and they stood in the darkness near the vehicles. It was obvious to Tina that Lt Cdr Hazard was very angry.

  He hissed at her, “Did you know the army cadets were going to sneak up?”

  “No sir,” Tina replied, her voice almost cracking with anxiety. She then explained Graham’s dare, a task made harder and more humiliating because she could not stop sniffling and tears kept trickling out.

  “So he said he would kiss you if he could?” Lt Cdr Hazard said.

  “Yes sir.”

  “And did he?”

  Tina hesitated and was tempted to lie but then sobbed and said, “Yes.”

  For a few seconds Lt Cdr Hazard said nothing but Sub Lt Mullion added, “That’s obviously how she got the camouflage cream on her face.”

  “Fraternizing - and with the enemy!” Lt Cdr Hazard added.

  At the word ‘fraternizing’ Tina felt a spasm of fear grip her stomach. She knew it was against all the rules and she suddenly realized that she was in real trouble. ‘I could be chucked out of cadets!’ she thought. Pulses of hot shame swept through her as she pictured the humiliations, the behind-the hand whispering, the sneers of her enemies, the hurt it would caused her family.

  Then another even worse idea struck her: ‘Graham could be in trouble too!’ Her mind raced as she tried to find a way to save him. In desperation she cried, “Oh sir, it was only a little kiss! We didn’t… didn’t do anything!’

  But even as she said it the image of his hand burned in her mind and she mentally squirmed and loathed herself. But then she stiffened her resolve. To save Graham she would lie!

  Lt Cdr Hazard shook his head. “What are we going to do with you?” he said.

  CHAPTER 34

  DAWN AT THE DAM

  For several seconds Tina stood, so appalled at what might happen that she was unable to speak. Then she sobbed, “Oh Sir, please don’t chuck me out! And please don’t get Graham into trouble!”

  She felt so upset that she shook and nausea swirled in her stomach.

  Lt Cdr Hazard gave her a sour look and scowled. “Why not? You have broken the rules and you have been disloyal to us and let us down.”

  “Sorry Sir,” Tina whispered, her voice breaking with sobs.

  “I suppose you thought it was just a bit of harmless fun?”

  Tina could only nod as her throat was choked with emotion.

  At that Sub Lt Mullion spoke. “It is only an exercise Sir,” she said.

  “Yes, I know, but I will still have to show this paper to the army cadet OOCs and they will crow about how good they are and we have nothing to reply with. Our reputation will take a dive and when they learn about how it was achieved we will be the butt of their jokes. I don’t like being the laughing stock.”

  That idea scorched Tina’s pride too and she felt even sicker when she realized that her name was going to become common gossip. ‘Serves me right!’ she told herself bitterly. She didn’t blame Graham or really regret letting him kiss her. But she could see no way of stopping the stories and she did feel bad about having harmed the unit’s reputation.

  Sub Lt Mullion looked thoughtful. “Perhaps if we could sneak into their camp or catch them out somehow?” she suggested.

  “How could we do that?” Lt Cdr Hazard queried.

  Sub Lt Mullion gestured to Tina. “Seaman Babcock might be able to tell us where they are camped.”

  “Can you Seaman Babcock?” Lt Cdr Hazard asked.

  That really put Tina on the spot. ‘First I have betrayed my own unit and now they want me to betray Graham,’ she thought. In her misery she felt she just wanted to collapse. Then she resolved to be truthful. “I don’t know exactly sir but Graham, that is Corporal Kirk, said they are camped beside an old side road up that way. Somewhere near a dam. He called their camp a hide.” She pointed up the road, feeling more upset than ever.

  Lt Cdr Hazard looked thoughtful. “Hmmm. You don’t know exactly where?”

  “No Sir.”

  He took out a map and moved to where the light from the nearest tent provided sufficient illumination. He pointed to it and said, “This is the road that goes around this hill to the New Dam and there is a vehicle track shown as cutting across from the next bend to rejoin the road just upstream of the New Dam. I suppose that is the track.”

  Sub Lt Mullion studied the map and agreed but Tina could only shrug. “I suppose so Sir. But he did say they were in a hide, a secret camp, and I don’t think we will find it in the dark.”

  Lt Cdr Hazard looked thoughtful. “No, I agree. The army cadet patrols won’t have any lights and are probably all in bed by now. But we might catch them at daylight.”

  Sub Lt Mullion nodded and said, “Possibly sir.”

  Lt Cdr Hazard looked hard at Tina. “So that is what we will do. We will get up early and send a couple of groups to search for them. And you will go
with them Seaman Babcock.”

  “Yes Sir.”

  “Now, is your boyfriend likely to come back tonight?”

  Tina guessed that a trap would be set if Graham had planned to but she was able to shake her head. “I don’t think so sir. He didn’t say anything about that.” But the idea of Graham sneaking up in the night to be with her sent another little thrill through her.

  This was instantly quashed when Lt Cdr Hazard said, “Were you planning to go and see him?”

  Tina was both shocked and hurt. “No sir!” she cried. The knowledge that she had lost their trust really stung. She had to calm herself to answer. “I won’t do the wrong thing again sir.”

  “I hope so. But just in case you will sleep next to Sub Lt Mullion and we will maintain a guard all night,” Lt Cdr Hazard said.

  That hurt even more. Tina began to bitterly regret those minutes of romantic passion- until she thought about them and wondered if she would choose love over cadets if that was the option. ‘It was nice- and Graham really knows how to kiss- even if he is a bit fast,’ she thought. But then the niggling doubt about whether he actually liked her or was just doing it to distract her while his friends snuck in caused her to wonder.

  The memory of Andrew’s hurt look when he had discovered that she had been kissing Graham also bothered her, as did the look he gave her as they rejoined the group. When Lt Cdr Hazard told the other navy cadets the plan for the morning Tina burned again with shame and with the knowledge that she had hurt both herself and Andrew. During the briefing she caught him looking at her intently. ‘He must still like me,’ she decided.

  Later, in the privacy of her sleeping bag she wept with misery at the mess she had made of things. ‘And does Graham really love me- or am I just a bit of fun? Was he using me?’ she wondered. It was all unpleasant and on top of that was the knowledge that she had damaged her reputation in the unit. She did not think she would be thrown out of cadets but she did think that she had damaged her chances of being promoted. ‘The officers won’t trust me,’ she thought unhappily.