Damnation: Reckless Desires (Blue Moon Saloon Book 1)

by Anna Lowe

  The raven-haired she-wolf led them down the very same hallway Simon had disappeared into, and Jessica nearly balked. But he’d cleared out by the time she got there. Only Soren and Ty were there, giving her and Janna polite nods when Tina led them to the stairs marked Private at the far corner of the room. The stairs creaked to high heaven, as did the bare wooden floors upstairs. Their footsteps echoed down the hallway.

  “This is great!” Janna exclaimed.

  “Well, it has character,” Tina admitted, and that much was true. The floorboards were wide strips of oak, the moldings carved in swirling patterns, and little boxes of colored panes marched across the tops of the window frames. Vibrant green, sunny yellow, silky red. The rooms were big and airy, the ceilings twelve feet high. “But it needs a lot of work.”

  “We’ve seen worse,” Janna promptly chirped.

  And they sure had, though it would be a close contest. Bare light bulbs hung from the ceiling, wallpaper peeled off the walls, and the first two rooms seemed eerily empty.

  “The guys are staying in these rooms.” Tina pointed. “That one’s Soren’s.”

  Jess blinked. The room was bare but for a double mattress on the floor and a bookshelf made from two cinder blocks and a piece of scrap wood. Apart from the paperbacks crowded on the shelves and the clothes piled on a chair in one corner, that was it.

  “This one’s Simon’s.” Tina waved, whisking past a closed door. Mercifully closed, as far as Jess was concerned, because she wasn’t ready for even another hint of him right now.

  His scent crawled all over her and clung to her clothes as she hurried past. Don’t you remember how you loved him? the scent seemed to say. How he loved you?

  “That’s the only working bathroom, I’m sorry to say.” Tina motioned toward a door on the left.

  The smell of lemon cleaner was strong there, and Jessica took a good whiff, trying to eradicate Simon’s scent.

  “Oh, an antique claw-foot tub. Nice,” Janna said.

  Jess shook her head. Only her sister could overlook the rust stains to appreciate that.

  The floorboards creaked as they turned two corners into the rear section of the apartment.

  “These are the best rooms for you, I think,” Tina said, leading the way. “Sort of in their own little wing. Nice and quiet and at the back, away from the street.”

  Away from the bears, Jess wanted to add. As far away as possible.

  “I love the windows.” Janna nodded at the arched windows opening on to a totally different view. There was a parking lot back there in the inner square of the block, but a clutch of trees, too. An alley ran down the back, and beyond…

  “Wow. Great view.”

  That, even Jessica’s jaded mind had to agree with. The hills seemed closer somehow, and they were blanketed by a patchwork of pine forest she wouldn’t have believed could exist in Arizona.

  There were three rooms in that rear section, and as Tina said, set apart in their own wing. So other than sharing the bathroom with the men, they’d have their privacy.

  “This can be mine, that can be yours, and the one in the middle can be our living room.” Janna’s whole face lit up, imagining it.

  Jess did her best to imagine, too. Maybe if they got some furniture from the thrift shop, they could get by. Well, maybe if they earned enough first. For now, the lumpy mattresses and crooked closet shelves would have to do.

  “I have some sheets in the car,” Tina said. “And I’m sure we can rustle up some furniture.”

  “It’ll be great,” Janna assured her, sitting down on the mattress and bouncing around like a six-year-old. “It is great. Isn’t it, Jess?”

  Jessica nodded on cue, glad there wasn’t a mirror to check this time. “Great.” She thought of Simon, somewhere on the ground floor beneath her, and forced a smile instead of a frown. “It’ll be great.”

  Chapter Four

  It wasn’t great, but Jessica managed to get through the first day…somehow.

  The start was surprisingly easy because Tina dragged them away for a quick shopping trip once she saw how little they had in the way of clothes and threw in a load of groceries, to boot. All on her tab.

  “We’ll pay you back,” Jessica swore. “I swear we will.”

  Tina’s calm eyes did wonders to put her at ease. “I’m sure you will. Don’t worry.”

  “Um, shouldn’t we get back to help with lunch?” she tried.

  Tina shook her head. “The boys have managed so far…”

  Boys? Even in human form, the bear brothers were the size of linebackers.

  “They’ll manage one more day. Don’t worry.”

  Those last two words, Tina repeated again and again, but Jessica still worried. A lot, and not about the brothers managing lunch.

  By the time Tina got them back to the saloon and waved good-bye, it was four o’clock. The good news was, Simon had disappeared on some urgent business, which left only his older brother to deal with. She barely knew Soren, who’d always been busy learning the ins and outs of clan leadership from his grandfather, but the basics of what she remembered were the same. He was a man of few words who let body language do the talking — mostly in the form of wide-footed stances that screamed, Alpha bear! Pass at your own risk! For all his gruff, monosyllabic instructions, though, he was also surprisingly polite. For a grizzly bear, at least.

  “Fridge, sink, stove. Watch you don’t burn yourself,” he grunted during a tour of the massive kitchen between the front and back rooms of the saloon. “Harry.” He pointed to the cook, an older, near-deaf wolf shifter, like the man was another pot or pan.

  Harry flashed them a toothless smile and went right back to prepping burgers for the day.

  “Keys,” Soren pointed to a nail on the wall and led them out back.

  Jess was starting to see why Tina figured a couple of friendly waitresses might help business at the saloon.

  “Smoker. Mine. Don’t touch.” Soren waved at the contraption in a fenced-off area just outside the back door. “Please,” he added as an afterthought, then strode on.

  Jess lingered over the metal barrel for a second, relishing the smell of smoked ribs. If they tasted anywhere near as good as they smelled, the saloon might have a chance at turning a profit, after all. She made a mental note to advertise ribs on the sidewalk chalkboard out front. In big, bold letters.

  Soren plowed on with Jess and Janna on his heels. “Beer fridge. Don’t get locked in.”

  There were more don’t’s than do’s on his list, but okay, she could live with that.

  “Is there an alarm?” Janna asked.

  Soren stared at her. His furrowed brow said, I’m the alarm.

  The funny thing was, he put Jess at ease. Maybe there was an upside to working for a couple of grouchy bears. She’d been looking over her shoulder ever since fleeing Montana, but here… Maybe she wouldn’t have to fear for her life here. Only for her heart.

  “Simon tends the bar,” Soren went on, lumbering back inside.

  Her nerves twisted right back into a knot. That was the part she was dreading. As a waitress, she’d have constant interaction with Simon. But one thing at a time, right?

  “Questions?” Soren asked.

  “What do you do?” Janna — gutsy Janna — asked.

  “Smoked ribs.” He glared, but it seemed to be aimed at fate rather than her sister. “Paperwork. Orders. Closing up.”

  The sisters exchanged glances. Okay, one less bear to deal with in the minute-to-minute operation of the place. They’d both waitressed before. They could handle that.

  “You all set?” Soren asked.

  Apparently, that was the extent of his tour.

  “Um, aprons?” Jessica ventured.

  “Notepads?” Janna added. “Specials of the day? Cleaning supplies?”

  Soren’s eyes narrowed. His grim face folded into a deeper frown.

  Jessica grabbed her sister’s elbow and steered her toward the front as the bear shifter’s eye
s grew darker still. “We’ll figure it out. Right, Janna?” She jabbed her sister in the ribs.

  “Ow!” Janna protested. “I mean, right.”

  Soren nodded once and disappeared out back.

  Old Harry the cook seemed like the safer person to aim their questions at, so they did and tried their best to get oriented to the job.

  Once the first few customers trickled in, there was so much to do, so much to figure out, that she didn’t notice when Simon first appeared behind the bar. But the second she noticed, well…

  He might have been a part of that massive structure himself, the way he stood and stared. As if he were carved from wood, like the bear in the mountain scene at the very top. The blue eyes were the only part of him that moved, following her as she worked, then darting away. He stood smack in front of the mirror, and it was almost too much, seeing that much of him at once — the expressionless front, the ridiculously broad back. The thick, sand-colored hair she’d once weaved her fingers through when they kissed.

  “Jess!” Janna hissed, snapping her out of her daze. “Customer. Go.”

  Clear, concise directions were about all her mind could process just then.

  She pasted a smile on, got the customer’s order, and froze when she turned to the bar.

  Bar. Simon. Drinks…

  Thank God for her sister, who grabbed the drink orders out of her hand and took them to Simon like he was just another bartender in just another bar.

  Jess cringed at the thought. Maybe that’s all she was to Simon — just another former lover. A guy like him had to have had more than his fair share.

  The next time she glanced back, though, his gaze was on her again, and it seemed to stay there all night. Even when she studiously ignored him, she could feel his gaze on her back. And damn it, her wolf panted with pleasure.

  Mine! Mate!

  The wolf didn’t get it. And she didn’t get him. Did he despise her so much that he had to obsess about her now?

  “You do the food, I’ll do the drinks,” Janna said in her next sweep past.

  And just like that, they got a system going. One that kept the customers happy and Jessica as far away from the bar as she could manage without leaving the saloon — or preferably, the state. But the work kept her busy, especially after Janna darted out to the sidewalk and announced, “Spare ribs!” to a tangle of cowboys striding down the street. Before long, beer flowed, ribs were chomped down to the bone, and raucous laughter rang out through the open doors to the street. With the onset of night, the temperature dropped, and a pleasant breeze worked its way inside, along with more customers, drawn by the noise of the first group.

  “Nothing like business to bring more business,” Janna murmured with a satisfied smile.

  It wasn’t exactly a stampede, but it kept them busy. Busy enough to run out of ribs, though no one seemed to care much as long as the booze flowed. The customers were all men, but they stayed just this side of rowdy, and all of them were polite enough.

  “Another beer, honey?”

  “How about dessert?”

  There was no dessert, but she sold them an extra order of fries and made another mental note on what was becoming a long list.

  The only other shifter who drifted through the saloon was a state cop, Kyle Williams — a member of Twin Moon pack and another badass shifter who could silence a room with one broody look. He came in, tipped his hat at her and Janna, and gave every guy in the place a slow, pointed look-over. When he left after a few quiet words with Simon, the whole place seemed to exhale.

  Not long after, Soren made his second appearance of the night. The first had come a few hours earlier, when things were in full swing. He’d had a good look around, then disappeared silently out back. This time, though, he planted himself right next to the bar, folded his tree-trunk arms over his chest, and announced the last call.

  Last call, his stance told every customer, or else.

  She’d never seen a quieter group of drinkers file out of a bar, or any more polite.

  “Thank you, honey.”

  “Goodnight, sweetheart.”

  The customers even tipped their hats. Left healthy tips, too. Some of the best she’d ever earned.

  She glanced back at the bar, where both brothers stood in tight-lipped command, and it occurred to her that maybe Simon hadn’t just been glaring at her all night.

  “Goodnight, darling,” one of the cowboy-types called and immediately shrank back at the growl coming from the bar.

  She whipped around to study Simon, whose murderous eyes ordered the man out the door, and fast.

  A warm, secure feeling settled over her weary body as her wolf side went all sappy again. Hadn’t it gotten the memo about being tough?

  Our mate takes care of us. Protects us.

  He lied to us, Jess wanted to retort, but she couldn’t quite bring herself to. Not when his gaze turned to her and glowed just a little bit. The way it used to, all those years ago, before things went wrong.

  Did he still care? Did he still feel?

  A cloud came over his face, and he went straight back to that impassive prison-guard look he’d had all night.

  “Come back soon.” Janna ushered the last customers out the door.

  Jessica leaned against a table, suddenly wiped out.

  “You. You.” Soren pointed at her, then Janna. “Good job. Go to bed.”

  “Not before we count the tips,” Janna shot back. Jessica had always been the no-nonsense, ballsy one, but for once, their roles were reversed. “Ten percent for the bar, five for the house, right?”

  Simon shook his head and even Soren looked surprised when he said, “Tips are all yours tonight.”

  Janna let out a whoop and jiggled her full pockets. “Awesome!”

  Soren nodded his agreement. “Now get going.”

  “But the cleanup…” Jess protested, despite the throbbing in her feet.

  “We’ll get it tonight.” He nodded at Simon. “You can do tomorrow.”

  She looked around the unwiped tables, the dirty dishes that needed clearing. Didn’t want to even think about the toilets, which wouldn’t get any cleaner on their own. “But…”

  “Tomorrow,” Soren ordered. “Go to bed.”

  She should have protested a little more, but her knees were buckling by then and a glance in the mirror showed a ghost of her usual self. Or rather, a ghost of the ghost she’d become these last few months. God, when had she become so thin, so worn?

  “Thanks,” she managed and wobbled toward the back.

  “Goodnight!” Janna called, walking along Jessica’s left side, blocking her from Simon.

  And God, she’d never appreciated her sister as much as she did tonight.

  “Goodnight,” Soren answered.

  “Goodnight,” Jess murmured as they went past the bar.

  She couldn’t see Simon, and she swore she didn’t hear him speak, but she could feel the bass of his voice rumble in her bones when he growled his reply.

  “Goodnight.”

  Chapter Five

  “What do you think?” Soren asked once they heard the women’s weary footsteps creak overhead.

  Simon looked around the saloon, then poured himself half a glass of whiskey and downed it in one gulp. Spent a long time sucking on the aftertaste, reeling from the hit. Or maybe just reeling from his night.

  What did he think?

  It was heaven. It was hell. Having Jessica close — impossibly close. Watching her quick stride, her easy smile. Even if it was aimed at other people, it still put him in knots. The way her hair flowed over her shoulders, the way her brow would scrunch briefly when she added up a tab, then loosened when she saw her tip. He’d watch and let himself pretend that nothing had ever happened. That she was his again.

  His bear vacillated all night between the calming, happy glow that always fell over him when she was near and craving her so badly he wanted to pull her out back and kiss her senseless — for starters. Exactly the w
ay they’d done once, ages ago. They’d gone out together and danced a few numbers — well, she danced, he concentrated on not stomping on her feet. And when he couldn’t take it any more, he’d dragged his giggling mate out the back door and consumed her in kisses that he couldn’t, wouldn’t stop. They’d ended up doing it on an empty beer pallet right in a parking lot, with Jess seated on the edge with her legs wrapped around him while he drove into her again and again. His bear had howled the whole time, Mate! Mate!

  Damn bear had gone on and on that way, even when they were long spent and driving home. Filled his mind with all kinds of crazy thoughts, like a cabin at the edge of the woods filled with her laughter, his joy, and a couple of cubs.

  Damn bear had made him convince his grandfather that a wolf might even make a suitable mate for a bear. And it all looked so good, until everything came crashing down.

  “You’re right,” his grandfather said. “Our clan and the wolf pack are both small. An alliance might be just what we need.”

  Imagine his surprise when his grandfather had announced his decision with the whole council of elders looking on. “I have spoken with the wolf pack, and they agree. The older Macks daughter—”

  That was Jessica, and his soul had been singing inside, knowing what he would hear next.

  “Shall be betrothed to one of our own clan. Voss blood, mixing with new blood.”

  Voss. That was him. His bear tapped a happy dance. He and Jess had done it! They’d overcome the odds. Managed to get permission from two stubborn, old-fashioned shifter clans. They had a future together!

  “They shall join in three years…” his grandfather had gone on.

  The wait didn’t thrill him, but he could live with it. It did make sense for him to get a handle on the family lumber business first. That way, he could support Soren when it was his time to take over the clan. Soren could manage overall clan business while Simon ran the mill. That had been laid out since they were kids, and that was fine with him. As long as he could keep seeing Jessica, the wait didn’t matter.

  “…when our two clans shall come together and celebrate the mating of Jessica Macks and Soren Voss.”