Skullenia
Page 57
“How many staff do you have?”
“Zat depends.”
“On what, Sir?”
“On how vell zey perform zeir duties. Some days zere are more zan others. For example zere are two less today zan zere vere yesterday.”
“Uh huh. And where are they now?”
“Vun is lighting up vun off my dungeons, he is about sixty vatts at ze moment, and ze other vun is underneath you.”
“Sorry I don't understand.”
“You're feet are resting on him. He is lying down on ze job, yes.”
“Right. Excellent. Moving on then. What is your relationship with the inhabitants of Skullenia like and how do you view your position within the community?”
“If I can answer ze first part off zat qvestion. I get on very vell vith all off ze people in my kingdom. My doors are alvays open and I'm very happy to listen to zose living in ze local area. Off course disagreements do arise from time to time but zey are alvays resolved.”
“Meaning?”
“Zat zey generally see sings from my point off view. Obviously zere's ze odd disappearance or sree but hey, zat is life, yes?”
“Indeed it is. And your position here?”
“Depends on ze time of night. Sometimes I am sitting down, sometimes I am standing up, and sometimes I am flying. You do ask some very odd qvestions, Mr. Cross.”
“All part of the job, Sir. Now about your interior designs. Where do you get your ideas from?”
“You might as vell ask a musician vhere he gets his songs from or vhere a writer finds his stories. I sink it is a natural gift zat I am blessed vith. Zat and a subscription to Dream Castle magazine, a handy publication zat comes in veekly editions.”
“Interesting.”
“And ze binders are very useful. Stops zem getting in a mess, you see.”
“Indeed.”
“And now it is time for you to go.”
“Oh that's a shame. Can I ask why, My Lord?”
“Off course you can ask.”
“ ”
“ ”
“Oh, that again. Why do we have to leave, Sir?”
“Because I am hungry and I kind of like you just ze vay you are, Mr. Cross. Egon vill show you ze vay out.”
We hope you enjoyed this small insight into our Vampire Lords world. Next week we speak to Mrs. Strudel and ask her, apart from broccoli, is there anything that a golem won't eat?
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