Cursed Hearts (A Crossroads Novel)

by Light

  She watched him go with a weight in her chest that made it hard to breathe. For maybe the hundredth time in the last few days, she felt like a fool for being with Christian when all she’d really wanted since she’d gotten here was Rome. If she’d never let anything happen between them, her and Rome might have been together by now, she reasoned. It was her fault all of this had gotten so complicated. And as she sunk to the floor beside her bed, she couldn’t help but fear that Kaleb was going to do the same thing to Rome that Christian had to her. Hadn’t Rome said that he was confused? That he felt like he was manipulating him somehow?

  She picked up one of her father’s letters distractedly, blinking down at the neat handwriting and trying to read the words. And when she’d finished, she picked up another, and then another, making a pile of memories near her feet. Why she was reading them, she couldn’t say. Pouring over words of love and devotion from her father to another woman wasn’t exactly uplifting. Nor was reading the words of a couple cursed as she and Rome were now cursed. This was going to be them. In a few days, or a few years, Rome was going to be gone, and all she’d have left was regret. She’d been trying to tell herself this whole time that they were different, that they could make it. But she could sense it in her gut like a dark, devouring hole. They were doing the exact same thing so many others before them had. History was doomed to repeat itself. One of the notes suddenly caught her attention, and she found herself reading it quietly aloud.

  “Richard,

  I know you’re scared but I need to see you. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Joseph. It was his idea to keep us a secret, not mine. He thought it would only drive a wedge between you two, and it seems he was right. Me, I knew I had to stay away for your safety. And Joseph is a good man. But I don’t have to tell you that. He’s been more of a brother to you than a friend all these years. Please forgive us both for keeping this from you. I know I don’t have a right to ask it of you still, but now that we know how to break the curse, I’m begging you to at least consider it. I’ve always loved you, and I always will. Joseph is married now and I can’t carry on like that with a married man, no matter how much I adore him. I know he resents me a little for the decision, but he was the one who went off and got married. Family obligations, I know you understand them better than anyone. He’s a husband now, and soon to be a father, I think. I miss you Richard. I miss us. I hear you’re engaged. She is one lucky woman. I’m not asking you to turn your back on the relationship you’re building, but I am asking you not to forget about the one we cultivated together. Please Richard, this is my life. I’m not ready to die. I’m not ready to say goodbye to you.

  Forever Yours,

  Donna”

  Ariahna started searching wildly through the remaining letters, looking for any dated just before or after when that one had been sent. If they knew how to break the curse, surely it had to be in one of these letters. She tossed the irrelevant pieces of paper onto her bed, wondering if maybe they’d missed one in their haste to leave her house. Finally, she found what she’d been looking for.

  “My Dearest Donna,

  You know I would never deny your request merely out of spite. I’m not so cold as to kill a woman because she left me for another man. Still, I cannot do what you ask. My magic is my life, without it I’m as meaningless as a sun without a sky. And as for my family’s wand, if I were to return it to the yew, it might be destroyed. You’re asking me to either live a life of anonymity, of powerlessness, or quite possibly to surrender my life entirely. Giving my magic to the tree could very well kill me. You had to have known this before you asked. I need more time to think on this, but for now I have to reply with a resolute no. We’ve been fine all these years, no serious harm has befallen you. I’m beginning to believe this was all just an elaborate hoax, the shenanigans of a tired, lonely soul. I wish the best for you, but I think we should cease contact from this point on. I’m sure you understand.

  Richard”

  The paper slipped out of her fingers, falling between her knees to the floor. That was the decision that had killed Rome’s mother. Aria couldn’t help but let out a hysterical laugh, catching her head in her hands as she hunched over in disbelief. It was so simple, and yet it wasn’t. Her magic, her wolf, possibly her life – that was all she had to give up to save them. That was everything she treasured, other than their love. A knock at her door demanded her attention. It was then that Ariahna realized she didn’t know how long she’d just been sitting there. For all she knew, it could have only been minutes, or it might have been hours. She clambered to her feet in a daze, shuffling over to the door. “Who is it?” she asked.

  “Special delivery,” Christian whispered.

  She frowned at the back of her door, opening it reluctantly. Christian somehow moved into the room using only the inch of space she’d made to peek out into the hall. His back was turned to her and it looked like he was holding his stomach. “Christian?” He jumped a little and made a pained noise. “Are you alright? Turn around, let me see.”

  He turned around with a smile on his face while a look of confusion washed over hers. She was staring at the lump under his shirt in perplexity. “I got you something,” he said, whispering excitedly. Her mouth opened slowly, but no words seemed to be coming out. “Can you guess what it is?”

  The small kitten under the fabric of his shirt chose that moment to let out the softest, most adorable meow anyone had ever heard. Aria melted as soon as he pulled out the little black and white tuxedo cat. He handed it to her, and she took him despite the fact that she was shaking her head no. “He was the best dressed kitten there. I thought he might remind you of me,” he joked.

  She held the little guy up in the air, smiling at his innocent face.

  “I can’t keep you,” she said, “but you’re so cute.” She held him close to her chest, petting him as he began to purr in her arms. “Christian… why would you get me a cat? You know they don’t allow animals in the dorms.”

  “Do you like him? I remembered the way you were with the cat downtown the other day and, I don’t know, I guess I just couldn’t resist. He kept looking at me with those green eyes, and that only made me think of you. I’ll admit it wasn’t my intention – I didn’t go into town on a kitten hunt. I just knew when I saw him that I had to get him for you.”

  “You are such a sweetie,” Aria breathed.

  Christian’s face lit up, even after he realized she was talking to the cat. He wasn’t even sure she’d heard anything he’d said over that little fluff ball of cuteness.

  “Rome’s afraid of cats,” she said distractedly.

  “I forgot that,” he lied. “So, what are you going to name him?”

  “I can’t name him. I can’t even keep him.” That didn’t stop her brain from combing through possible selections. “How did you know?” she asked, looking up at Christian for the first time since she’d taken the kitten.

  “Know what?”

  “That I was upset.”

  Christian frowned. “I didn’t… I don’t think. Oh, is it because of your letter?” he said, pulling it from his back pocket. He’d almost forgotten. “Logan and a bunch of his friends had it, but I got it back for you. Unfortunately it wasn’t until after he’d decided to open it. It was kind of lucky that I was even out there at the time to hear him reading it. Aria, I’m sorry. It was my fault you were down at the courts that night. Everything’s kind of my fault, actually.”

  She took the letter from Christian’s hand with dread, turning it over to read the elegant cursive. This was the letter she’d been expecting from her father. How long had Logan had this? The thought of anyone reading something like that—she couldn’t help but fear what might have been written inside. “He was reading it out loud?” she murmured, setting the kitten down on her bed. She bit her lip anxiously, looking up at Christian with bright eyes brimming with tears. “Thank you, for getting it back…”

  “You’re welcome,” he said. “Do you maybe
want a hug? You look like you could use a good hug.” He opened up his arms with a smile, gesturing with his hands for her to come closer. “I give fantastic hugs. You’ll feel instantaneously better, I promise.”

  Aria gave him a skeptical pout before finally giving in. He wrapped her up, pulling her close to him and squeezing gently. She did somehow feel better, even though part of her worried it might’ve been awkward. Rome’s words were an unwelcome whisper at the back of her brain. Was it possible she actually still had feelings for Christian? She couldn’t deny that she cared about him, and that only made her feel like an idiot. But ever since those rumors had started, he’d just been… different.

  Maybe it was the curse, she thought.

  “Do you want to go do something together?” he asked.

  “I can’t,” she said distantly. “I have class.”

  “Aria… classes are done for the day. They’ve been over for a while now,” he said. “Are you alright?” He looked down at her as she leaned against his shoulder, noticing the confused frown on her face. “Why don’t we get you out of this room?”

  “What about Frederick?” she murmured.

  “Frederick? Oh! You named him,” he grinned. “He’ll be okay. We won’t be gone long.” Christian snapped his fingers and the toys and supplies he’d bought for the kitten materialized in the room. Aria looked stunned. “I didn’t want to bring all of this in until I knew you liked him.”

  She looked up at him with a grateful smile.

  “You really are… such a sweetie,” she whispered.

  “Stop it, you’re going to make me blush.”

  They made sure Frederick had everything he needed before using an incantation to hide him and his food and toys. Christian cast a silencing charm on her door so no little meows would draw anyone’s attention. She giggled when an invisible, purring ball of fur brushed up against her leg as she bent to collect her family’s wand. She just felt better about keeping it on her for some reason. When they were sure there was nothing else to be done, she blinked them down to the beach.

  “Nice choice,” Christian smiled.

  “I like it out here,” she said. “It’s peaceful.”

  He nodded, taking a seat in the sand as she moved to join him. “What’s on your mind? It seems like you got caught up in something.” She frowned at him. “The letters all over your room?” he elaborated.

  “Oh, that. They’re love letters, between your mother and my father. We found them tucked away in my father’s study—Rome and I, I mean.” Ariahna pulled the wand out, holding it delicately in her hand for him to see. “And that’s not the only thing we found.”

  Christian gazed down at the elegant piece of wood. It was nearly black from tip to center, and a combination of soft browns made up the rest of the design. He ran a finger over the spiraled handle, feeling the smooth grain of the wood against his skin. A small sphere sat at the far end in a claw shaped design, connecting it to the handle. It reminded him of a castle piece from an old chess set. In the center of the wand laid a similar sphere, oblong in shape and only slightly lighter in color than the piece on the end. Only then did he recognize them for what they were. They were the two pieces of yew, the two representations of the curse, as the old man had put it.

  “He thought we could just destroy it,” she whispered. “But that’s not what’s going to break this curse.”

  “You sound like you know what will.”

  “…I do. I found the answer in those letters.”

  “Is that why you’re upset?” he asked.

  Aria gave him a grim expression. “I have to… give up my magic.” She’d barely breathed the words. Saying them aloud hurt, it made it feel real. She understood now why her father might have paused when making that decision. She knew she had to do it, and just as absolutely, she knew that it would break her.

  Christian exhaled heavily. “Is that even possible? I’ve never heard of a witch giving up their magic before. I can’t imagine what that would be like…” He went quiet in thought. “I would never ask you to do that, and I would understand if you didn’t. That’s—that’s an incredible sacrifice.”

  “Nothing,” she said softly, “is more important than a life.”

  “…Even if it’s my life?”

  She looked at him with compassionate eyes.

  “Especially because it’s yours,” she whispered.

  “What I said this morning… I’ve never said that, to anyone. But I want you to know that I meant it. If you gave up your magic, you would have me in return. If you wanted me, I mean.”

  Ariahna smiled sadly. “I was wondering about that,” she breathed. “Could you really love someone who wasn’t like you? Would you even love me at all, once this curse is gone? I’m not sure the answer to either of those is yes. I know how you feel about people who don’t have magic.”

  “I act like a jerk, but it’s not really who I am. And I’ve wondered that too… if it would go away. But this, the way that I feel about you, that’s not something that can be lost.”

  “Does Rome know?” he asked suddenly.

  “No. I just found out.”

  Christian leaned back on his palms, biting the tip of his tongue and trying to figure out how to phrase this. He’d been poking around the subject, but she hadn’t taken the hint. He leaned forward again, folding his arms self-consciously around himself.

  “Do you think you could love me?” he blurted out.

  Aria stared down at the sand, lips parted slightly and heart aching in her chest as she tried to respond. “…Yes,” she whispered. She closed her eyes as a sigh escaped from her mouth. She wasn’t sure who had said that, but it felt as though someone else had answered for her. It was true though, and she wasn’t sure if she was happy or devastated by her answer. “But I’m afraid if I do,” she said, “that you’re going to break my heart.”

  Christian didn’t have the words to reassure her. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her in slow as he gazed into her eyes. Their lips met in a gentle embrace. This was the only way he could tell her how he felt. “I’ll never hurt you again,” he promised, clenching his eyes shut as he pressed his forehead against hers. “I’m sorry.” Christian lifted his necklace quickly over his head, holding it out to her. “I want you to have this,” he said. “It’s the only thing that was left for me, other than a bank account. I don’t know if it belonged to my mother or my father, but—as much as it means to me, you mean more.”

  “I can’t take that,” she said.

  “You’re not taking it, I’m giving it to you,” he replied, slipping it on her before she could try and protest again. Aria brushed her hair out carefully from beneath the chain and he smiled as she tucked it safely into her blouse.

  “Do you want to go for a walk along the water with me?”

  “…I’d like that,” she smiled.

  Chapter 41

  There are very few things in life that strike us quite as hard as having our personal space invaded. Ariahna’s room was a disaster. She stood near the foot of her bed as tears of shock filled her eyes. The sound of stunned breathing slipped through the air, and she’d almost forgotten Christian was with her until an angry curse rung out at her back. Her room had been trashed. All of her possessions were scattered across the hardwood floor, most of them broken or otherwise destroyed. The doors to her closet were hanging open, and she could see from here that her dresser had been rifled through. Panties and bras hung hazardously over the edges of the drawers, littering the floor in front of it. The contents of her desk had been tossed across the room, and the empty drawers, nearly ripped out of their slots, were now drooping down towards the floor. The love letters that Richard and Donna had shared were stacked in a neat, mocking pile in the very center of her desk. But the most noticeable touch had to be the cutting word that had been burned into her bed.

  Slut, it said.

  Aria stumbled backwards, bumping shoulders with Christian before her back hit the wall. That w
ord was reverberating through her head, accompanied by a litany of other negative thoughts. They were things she’d heard people whispering, or occasionally shouting at her the past few days. Some of them were even things she’d told herself before. That she was stupid, that she was worthless, that she’d never be good enough, that no one could ever love someone like her. Usually she could keep them at bay, but with all of her defenses suddenly crushed, those horrid thoughts had started to creep into her mind. Some sounded like things her father might say, things that could have been written in that letter. Most of them were variations of her own fears and insecurities. Between the two of them, he in his unwavering disappointment, and her with her self-loathing, those poisonous thoughts threatened to swallow her whole. She slid to the floor, curling in on herself and clenching her eyes shut. What had she done to deserve this? she wondered, pressing her forehead to her knees. She was breathing erratically and trying to will away the feeling of extreme violation, of hate. Someone hated her. They wanted her to hurt, to suffer, to know just how disgusting they thought she was. The message had been received, loud and clear.

  Christian was pissed. Even with Aria’s emotions slapping hard at his back, he was nothing but furious. He stood there looking at everything, trying to figure out how it had come to this. He wanted to blame himself; that was until he saw Trent’s knife in the back of her door. He’d used it to pin up a picture, and by the looks of it, he’d done so right through her mother’s face. This had Logan written all over it. He wanted them to pay for this, but right now, in this moment, all he could do was get her somewhere else – somewhere away from this room. “Aria?” he said, kneeling down in front of her. “Why don’t you come with me, and we’ll go see the Dean first thing in the morning? You can sleep in my bed, that way I know you’re safe.”