No Safe Secret

by Fern Michaels

  She had listened to Dr. O’Leary and his wife of twenty years, Megyn, discuss what college they wanted their son to attend. Both had decided Harvard was not the best college, having both graduated from the prestigious Ivy League school themselves. Megyn, who’d been seated next to her, whispered, “He would never be accepted.” Molly nodded and wondered about Kristen. If this were the case, would she openly admit that her daughter wasn’t as intelligent as others her age? Probably not, she thought.

  While most of the doctors and their wives were in their late thirties to middle forties, Dr. Kent and his wife, Dianna, were old enough to retire. She taught high school English at Boston Latin Academy. She bragged about her students’ accomplishments, and said how much she would miss them when she retired.

  “Then why retire?” Molly asked, just to be polite.

  Dianna looked at her as though she’d lost her mind. “Albert’s retiring soon. I wouldn’t dream of working after he retired.”

  These were modern women, married to doctors. Didn’t they have careers or retirement aspirations of their own? Not knowing what to say, Molly simply smiled and took a bite of her fish, trying not to think that, when push came to shove, she really wasn’t all that different from these women. And that led her to wonder if they had secrets, too.

  Tanner chose that moment to clear his throat rather loudly. “This investment will be ideal for both of you. Guaranteed to provide you with a good return while you travel the world.”

  Dianna nodded but deferred to her husband. “Whatever Albert wants to do.”

  “I think it’s time we took a vacation from our hectic lives. It’s been so long since I’ve slept in, though truthfully I’m not sure I can any longer,” Dr. Kent explained, laughing. “But I plan on doing my best to try to get used to the idea.”

  Jill Waters and her husband, Dr. Peter Waters, had barely uttered a word since they sat down to dinner. As hostess, Molly knew it was her job to encourage conversation, to make her guests feel comfortable enough to let down whatever barriers restrained them. “Dr. Waters, do you and Mrs. Waters have children?” This was always a safe question. Or so she thought.

  Jill Waters, bland and pale, with white-blond hair and skin to match, shook her head. “It’s Jill. Uh, no. We can’t . . . we don’t have children.” She looked to her husband as though he should explain why.

  Dr. Waters cleared his throat as Tanner had moments ago. “Jill can’t have children, and I do not want to adopt. So, no, we don’t have children. And frankly, in this day and age, I think of it as a blessing in disguise. Kids have no respect. Want the world handed to them on a silver platter.” He stopped when he realized that all of the attention was focused on him. “Not that I dislike children,” he added.

  “Of course we love children,” Mrs. Waters, Jill, added. “We’ve been blessed in other ways.”

  “Of course you have,” Molly encouraged. “Children are often challenging, and not everyone is suited to parenting.” The second the words came out of her mouth, she wished she could take them back.

  “But then, there are those of us who are born to become parents,” Tanner added none too kindly as he shot her a look that she called “the death look.”

  It was Tanner’s idea of a challenge. She would go with it. He wouldn’t dare show his true colors in front of their dinner guests. He should have told her that the subject of children was taboo where Dr. and Mrs. Waters were concerned.

  “Yes, and children don’t have to be flesh and blood in order to love them as your own.” Molly had no clue why she said this since it was certainly not her experience. Maybe it was the truth for some, but it had stopped being true for her a very long time ago. A mental challenge to Tanner? Maybe. She held his gaze across the table’s long expanse.

  “Some would disagree,” he said, continuing to focus his sharp blue eyes on her.

  Backpedaling, Molly said, “I’m sure every situation is different.”

  “Kudos to those who can manage stepchildren or adopted kids. I’d be the first to say it’s a mistake. Blood really is thicker than water,” Dr. Waters added. “My father never let me forget this. Always told me to keep the bloodline going, didn’t want an imposter tarnishing the family legacy.”

  Molly agreed to a certain point, but now wasn’t the time to make her opinion known. Desperate to change the topic of conversation, she stood. “I’m going to serve dessert. Would anyone care for coffee, too?” Scanning the group gathered around the table, she gave a phony smile, and, not waiting for a reply, she headed to the kitchen.

  Sally was putting plates in the dishwasher. “You finished with dinner already?” she questioned.

  “Don’t I wish. No, I’m going to serve coffee, and that red velvet cake I bought at Gloria’s. Tanner won’t like that since it’s not homemade.”

  Damn! Why had she added that? Sally had enough to deal with in her own personal life. Molly knew she suspected that her and Tanner’s relationship was far from ideal, but it was very likely comments like this one that had led Sally to that conclusion, or so Molly assumed. Not that she’d ever mentioned her marital issues to Sally or spoke of them to anyone else. She didn’t have to. Molly could read Sally like an open book. Sally was in a bad marriage, too. And as the old saying went, “It takes one to know one.”

  “It’s homemade. Just not in your kitchen,” Sally said.

  She grinned. “I guess you’re right. Gloria would tell me the same, I suppose. But . . . ,” she didn’t finish the thought out loud. Tanner wouldn’t see it that way. She removed a stack of dessert plates from the cabinet and placed them on a serving tray, along with forks and spoons for the coffee. “You’ll follow me with the coffee?” she asked Sally.

  “Right behind you, Miss Molly.”

  She nodded, then hoisted the tray, using the palm of her left hand to carry the bulk of the weight, and her right hand to keep it steady. Old habits, she thought, as she plastered on a smile for her guests.

  “I see my magnificent Molly has decided to tempt us with one of her homemade confections,” Tanner said when he saw her placing the large tray on the sideboard.

  She hated it when he referred to her as his “magnificent Molly”!

  Bastard, she wanted to shout, but as usual, she refrained. “Sorry, sweetie pie,” she used this term of endearment, knowing how he hated it, “but I didn’t bake this. I purchased this at Gloria’s earlier. I’m sure it’s much better than any dessert I could make.” Also, she wanted to add that, given his last-minute dinner demand, he was lucky she’d had time to prepare dinner, let alone dessert. But again, these negative thoughts, which seemed to be appearing more and more frequently in her subconscious, were simply that: thoughts. She would never put them into words.

  She watched him. He was so predictable. His Adam’s apple was bobbing, and his eyes were darting everywhere but at her. Flustered and ticked. Yes, once again, she’d displeased him. Later, she would hear about it, but now, if only for a short while, she could act as master, and he was her puppet. For a little while. Later, she would question her actions.

  “Well, we all know that Gloria’s is the best Goldenhills has to offer. Thank you, Molly. I should’ve suggested this myself.”

  She smiled and set the dark-red, four-layer cake, with at least an inch of cream cheese frosting, between the other items on the sideboard, where she proceeded to slice huge triangles and place them on the dessert plates. Molly knew it was a bit spiteful, but she wondered if these submissive wives would dig in to the high-calorie cake, or would they claim to be too full? Given her past experience with doctors’ wives, she would bet on the latter.

  “Jill?” She held out a plate for the vapid woman.

  “Leave the dessert on the sideboard, Molly. If anyone wants dessert, they can get it themselves.”

  Embarrassed, but not enough to care, she nodded and put the plate down. Sally stood by the sideboard with the pot of coffee. “Just leave it there, Sally,” Molly said, a very small way of one-upp
ing Tanner. “If anyone wants coffee, they can help themselves to that as well.”

  God, she could not wait for this evening to end! She’d smiled so much that her cheeks were beginning to throb. She’d developed a headache the minute Tanner returned from the office, shouting commands over his shoulder as he raced upstairs to shower and change. She needed a break. Maybe she would go to Europe with Kristen. They were closer than most mothers and daughters, so she wouldn’t mind. An idea to be considered. She’d mention this to Kristen later.

  What was she thinking? As close as she and Kristen were, this was her high-school graduation trip! There was no way that she would want her mother tagging along. But Molly really needed time away, time to reevaluate her life. Time to reflect on her past.

  Megyn and Dianna both helped themselves to cake and coffee. Bits of conversation flitted past her, but if she had been asked, she wouldn’t have been able to repeat a word of what had been said. For some reason, she just couldn’t stop thinking about her life. When had it become so frightening? So out of control?

  “Molly, did you hear me?” Tanner asked, his voice louder than what was usually considered polite.

  She blinked to clear her mind. “I’m sorry, I was thinking about . . . Kristen.” She offered up a flimsy smile, hoping he’d soften his tone a bit. She really did not want to have an argument in front of their guests. “She’s leaving for Europe tomorrow.” She directed her words to their dinner guests, who were now scattered around the large dining room. Some were drinking coffee while others had gotten drinks from the bar. How had she missed this?

  “Kristen is perfectly fine. I asked if we have more bourbon? Those silly drinks you made before dinner were disgusting.” He said it just loud enough for Dr. Wolf and Liz to hear what he said and the tone of voice in which he said it.

  Taking a deep breath, and again offering a smile, lukewarm at best, she replied. “I’m sure we have more in the pantry.” With that, she whirled out of the dining room and into the kitchen. Sally was scrubbing the baking sheet she’d used for the fish.

  “Sally, is there any more bourbon? Tanner’s in one of his moods, says the drinks I made were terrible.” Right then, she didn’t care if Sally knew she was miffed.

  “Of course. In the pantry. Bottom shelf, far right.”

  “Thank you,” Molly said, and meant it. She’d stuff an extra hundred-dollar bill in an envelope for her on payday. Bourbon was Tanner’s drink. She should’ve checked to make sure there was an extra bottle stocked in the bar in the dining room. In her defense, she figured her blackberry concoction would be enough alcohol. They were doctors, and it was a weeknight. Didn’t they have patients to care for early tomorrow morning? They weren’t all dentists, who worked nine to five. Well, who really cared, she thought, as she grabbed two bottles of the golden liquid. If they wanted booze, they could drink until dawn for all she cared. Molly placed the bourbon on top of the bar, hoping this would be the end of Tanner’s stupid tirade, but experience told her that what had come before was just a warm-up for the main event.

  He took the bottle, removed the cap, and liberally filled a rocks glass. “Here. This is for you.”

  She took the drink from him, her stomach knotting up. Tanner knew that she rarely drank, and when she did, bourbon was not her choice of drink. He glared at her, and she pretended to take a sip, just to appease him. She stared at him, then placed the glass down. “You finish it for me.”

  Molly turned away, felt his icy stare as she walked away. In the kitchen, Sally had cleaned all the pots and pans, the dishwasher was humming, and all traces of their combined dinner prep had been removed.

  “Go on home, Sally. I’ll take care of the dessert plates,” Molly offered.

  “I can stay if you want me to,” Sally said. “It’s not like I have anyone waiting on me at home.”

  Molly wondered if this was her way of telling her that for tonight she wouldn’t be suffering any kind of punishment from her husband. She wanted to ask, but she couldn’t deal with someone else’s can of worms. Not tonight. She’d opened her own, and she knew it wasn’t going to be pretty when their guests left.

  “You’ve been on your feet all day. I’ll take care of the rest of the dishes.”

  Sally dried her hands on a paper towel, then tossed it in the garbage can beneath the sink. “If you’re sure you’ll be okay without me,” Sally said, though it sounded more like a question to Molly. Almost as though she were asking her if she would be all right if she was left alone with Tanner.

  Molly placed a comforting hand on the older woman’s shoulder. “Thanks for caring, but really, I’m fine. The kids are here,” she added. “I have to make sure Kristen is properly packed. You know how she is. She’s likely to forget her undies.” Molly smiled, wanting to reassure Sally that she really would be just fine.

  “If you’re sure, then I’ll go on, but if you need me in the morning, just call. I won’t be doing anything around my house. Roger is visiting his brother in Maine. He didn’t say when he was returning, so I’m gonna enjoy having some time away from the old man.”

  Molly sighed, wishing she could trade places with Sally. “Then go on and enjoy your time alone. Take the next few days off. Once I get Kristen on that plane, there won’t be anything for either of us to do here. I plan to catch up on some reading, maybe watch a few movies.”

  Molly hoped she sounded surer of her plans than she felt. Something was nagging at her and had been all evening. And it wasn’t just Tanner’s usual hatefulness. No, it was something more. She needed to think. She wanted to be alone with her thoughts. “Now, go on before I change my mind.” Molly gave her a hug and walked outside with her to the old clunker parked in front of the house.

  “Thanks, Miss Molly. You need me, I’m here,” Sally reminded her.

  Molly nodded, smiled, and closed the driver’s door. She waved at Sally. A feeling of sadness overwhelmed her as she watched her taillights fade into two small pinpricks of red light. She stood at the edge of the lawn a few more minutes, then went inside, where she found Tanner waiting in the kitchen.

  “Where in the hell have you been? You can’t just walk out of here when we have a houseful of guests. Who the hell do you think you are?” Tanner grabbed her arm, squeezing so tightly she knew there would be bruises tomorrow.

  Taking a deep breath, not wanting him to see how frightened she was, she replied, “I walked Sally out to her car. She was nervous. It’s dark outside.” She wanted to lie, to tell him Sally was frightened of her husband, too, but she didn’t. She’d already stirred the pot one time too many tonight. “Please let go of me, Tanner,” she said in as calm a voice as she could summon.

  He released his grip and stepped away. “Get back in here and help me convince these men to invest their money in me. In us, Molly. Our future. The kids’ futures.” His glance softened when he spoke. “Please.”

  He was crazy. Of that Molly was certain. One minute he was about to twist her arm off, and the next, he looked like a little boy on the verge of crying. “Why?”

  He clenched his teeth, his jaw tightening. His facial expression instantly went from sappy to angry. “Don’t you ever ask me that again. Do you understand?”

  Molly backed up against the sink, more frightened than she’d been all night.

  “Sure, Tanner. Whatever you want.”

  “Let’s go back into the living room together. It’ll look better,” Tanner suggested. In an amiable tone, he whispered. “I’m sorry, Molly.”

  She simply nodded and wondered who he was sorry for. He wrapped his arm around her waist and guided her into the living room. Their guests appeared content, gathered in small groups in the formal living room. At the end of the room was yet another bar. Molly was sure this one was fully stocked, as she’d done it herself a few days ago when Sally was dusting the shelves. She saw Tanner’s favorite bourbon. The bottle was almost empty. Molly hoped Tanner hadn’t consumed that much. He was already acting like a beast with the booze sh
e’d seen him drink. Add more, and the beast became more like a barbarian.

  Feeling like a guest in her own home, Molly saw Carolina Marsden and Dianna Kent huddled together in a far corner of the room. Knowing Tanner wanted her to mingle and make the wives happy, so they could convince their husbands to invest in Tanner’s clinic, she walked over to the women. “Can I get either of you a drink? Maybe a soft drink or an iced tea?” She guessed that both were probably teetotalers.

  “Thanks, I would love a Coke if you have one,” Carolina said.

  Molly turned to Dianna. “Mrs. Kent?” God, she hated this evening and couldn’t wait for it to end. She felt like a waitress.

  Going back to her roots.

  “A Coke sounds good,” the woman finally said. Molly smiled. “It does, doesn’t it? I’ll be right back.” Before she had to indulge in any more useless chatter, she hurried to the kitchen. In the refrigerator, she removed three cans of Coke, filled three tall glasses with ice, placing them on another serving tray. Again, she was playing the role of waitress, servant, hostess, whatever one called it these days. She hoisted the tray on her shoulder as she’d done all those years ago at Lou’s. In the past few weeks, she’d begun to think of her time spent at Lou’s as “the good old days.” Odd, how one’s perspective can suddenly change. Almost at the speed of light, she thought sourly.

  She set the tray down on the table in front of the two chairs where Dianna and Carolina were now seated. She pulled the tab on one of the cans. The liquid hissed as it met the ice. “Here you go,” she said, placing two glasses on the table. She poured her own, then took a big drink. Her mouth was dry from nerves. She glanced at her arm, where Tanner’s fingers had dug into her skin. Thankfully, there was nothing too visible, except for the red marks his fingers had made. “So, tell me about the trips you have planned.” Molly directed her remarks to Dianna since she and Dr. Kent were retiring soon. Just making conversation. Didn’t matter. As long as she obeyed. Out of the corner of her eye, she spied Tanner. He was watching her.