by Cora Brent
“Bye, guys,” I said.
“Bye, Paige,” the boys responded.
Before I returned to the kitchen I stopped in the bathroom. All day I’d been struggling to deal with the call from that reporter. Everything I’d said to Derek and his brothers was true. The reporter’s Sara probably wasn’t my mother. And whenever I did finally find out what happened to her the ending was almost certain to be an unhappy one.
My reflection stared back at me in the mirror. I told myself to think of Derek, not of terrible possibilities. I had Derek now. When I slept in his arms every night I could feel all the shadows that lingered in the periphery of my mind dissolving.
I inhaled and exhaled a shaky breath, willing my mind elsewhere, back to Derek. There was a sense of invincibility when we were together. I felt stronger with him, as if the words he whispered to me on the floor of the Super Q might actually come true.
“It’ll be okay now.”
But it wasn’t enough, not this time.
I closed myself into a stall and when I emerged a few minutes later I felt weak and terrible. I rinsed my mouth out in the sink and withdrew a stick of gum from the pack I kept in my back pocket. How many times had I done this over the last year? I hadn’t kept track. There were more days that I didn’t do it than days that I did. That had to count for something. That had to mean I could control it if I wanted to.
I knew I was late returning to the kitchen but I suddenly needed to talk to Derek so I veered back to the dining room. As soon as I got there I saw their table was empty. Derek and his brothers had already left. That was okay. I’d see him later.
But I knew that later I would no longer be in possession of this sudden courage to make a painful confession.
I knew that later I’d just fall asleep in his arms and decline to admit the one thing about myself that I had refused to tell him so far.
Chapter Twenty
Derek
“That’s a big box,” Kellan pointed out as the three of us walked over to the apartment where Paige’s friends lived. “You lose points for a shitty presentation though.”
I looked down at the box I carried, which was covered with plastic shopping bags that had been hastily taped together because while I’d shopped carefully for Paige’s gift I’d forgotten all about wrapping it up until five minutes before we were supposed to leave.
“It’s a nice gift, Derek,” Thomas reassured me. “She’ll like it.”
“What is it, anyway?” Kellan asked. “Douchebag wouldn’t show me.”
“Never mind,” I said, then stopped, checking out our location. “This is the building. Second floor.”
We must have made quite a racket bounding up the stairs because one of the twins heard us and was already opening the door.
“Hey guys,” said Erica. Or Samantha. I wasn’t sure.
“Hi Sam,” said Thomas, because evidently he’d learned how to tell them apart during their brief conversation at the gym.
Samantha seemed infinitely more friendly tonight than when she’d glowered at me on the couch in my apartment. She even smiled.
“The birthday girl’s already inside,” she said with a wink, opening the door so we could pass through.
The place was a total girl cave, accented with lots of pink and purple and frilly faux fur pillows. Paige was standing in the living room and accepting a sparkly crown thing on her head from Erica.
I could care less what was sitting on top of Paige’s head though because the rest of her was wearing a sexy black dress that hugged her body and was short enough to give me some thoughts about how I couldn’t wait to peel it off her later. Then she smiled directly at me and it already felt like we were the only two people around.
“Happy birthday,” I said, setting the plastic-wrapped box on a table and opening my arms because I was going to kiss her and I didn’t give a fuck what anyone thought about it.
She came right to me, meeting my lips more easily thanks to her high heels. The kiss I gave her was far from tentative and my hands slid down over her hips as my dick wished the next few hours would pass quickly so we could get to the good part of the night.
“Thank you for the flowers,” she said when I finally removed my tongue from her mouth. I’d never sent anyone flowers before and didn’t know where to start but last night after we left Esposito’s I’d mentioned the idea to Kel and he sat down with me for a few minutes to help sort me sort it out. I’d sent her roses. A dozen of them.
I straightened her crown. “You look like a princess tonight.”
She twirled for me. “You like my tiara? Erica gave it to me.”
Her tiara was all right. Her ass was a lot better. But I didn’t say that because tonight I was going to act like Nice Guy Derek. At least until later. Then all bets were off. And so was that dress. Not that I was planning on being quick and dirty. Dirty, maybe. But there’d be nothing quick about the things I planned to do to this girl. I couldn’t believe I’d held out for as long as I had. Tonight everything between us would be set in stone. Tonight she’d be mine.
My brothers had already made themselves at home on the pink couch. They called out birthday greetings to Paige and I handed over my wretchedly wrapped gift. Paige didn’t appear bothered by the crappy covering and was thrilled to discover it was hiding a vintage-style turntable complete with a cassette deck.
“This way you can play your music in your room too,” I said, referring to the ancient stereo she liked to listen to in her mother’s old room.
“That’s really cool, D,” observed Kel and he wasn’t using a trace of sarcasm.
Paige smiled. My heart melted.
“Thank you,” she said and gave me a gentle kiss.
When I looked up again I saw the twins were standing nearby watching everything happen and they actually appeared impressed. I realized I might have just gone a long way in redeeming myself in the eyes of Paige’s best friends. If I could have patted myself on the back I would have.
Erica had baked some birthday cupcakes and once Kellan spotted them he insisted on sampling one even though we were all about to go to dinner. The twins didn’t appear to mind though and handed out pink frosted cupcakes to all before we left. I stuck mine in my mouth whole and then watched Paige daintily lick the frosting from hers.
We were getting ready to drive over to the restaurant and Samantha suggested that I should ride in her car since that’s where Paige would be. The offer struck me as a bit of an olive branch and I wasn’t about to turn it down so my brothers rode over in Kel’s sputtering Focus while I climbed into an Acura with the girls.
This was the first time I’d ever really seen how Paige was with her friends; happy and confident and full of laughter.
“You’re kind of quiet,” she teased me in the backseat and that was true, but only because I was trying to make a good impression and not sound like a brainless tool.
I slid my arm around her. “Look at it this way, once we sit down to dinner and Kel starts talking you’ll be wishing for this kind of peace and quiet.”
She rested her head on my shoulder. “I’ll be wishing for something all right,” she whispered.
I ran my fingertips along her knee and felt her squirm. “I’ll make all your wishes come true,” I promised.
The restaurant was crowded but luckily one of the twins had already made reservations so we had a table waiting in a back room where there were only three other tables.
Thomas and Kellan showed up a few minutes later. As everyone dug into the chips and salsa I looked around, thinking about how good it felt to be out at night like this. No one would confuse a restaurant with a club or a keg party but there was a powerful kind of vitality that came from being among people who were out to have some fun.
“I’ll be right back,” I told Paige and rose from table, intending to track down the waiter who had already introduced himself. I wanted to let him know that the tab was on me and offer him my card ahead of time so there wouldn’t be any argument from Paige or the
twins when the bill came.
The restaurant was freaking enormous and I was starting to feel like I was playing a video game as I wandered from room to room in search of my particular white-shirted waiter in a sea of white-shirted waiters.
I didn’t find him. But someone found me.
“Derek!” hailed a voice to my left and I had to double back to figure out where it was coming from. I squinted into the dimly lit area of the sprawling bar.
“Shit, it’s Matt,” I said, recognizing Matt Florian and heading over to meet his fist bump. We’d partied together a lot in high school and then he went to college in Minnesota while I took a decidedly different direction and we just hadn’t crossed paths since then.
“Saw you kicking ass dude,” Matt said.
“What’s that?” I sidled up to the bar next to him but I didn’t know what he meant.
“The video,” he explained. “Super Q Hero.”
I’d almost forgotten about all that. “Ah, it was nothing.”
“Bull fucking shit. You’re the man. I’m buying you a shot.” He called the bartender over and demanded two shots of tequila before I could object.
“Salud,” he said and downed his shot, waiting for me to do the same.
I already had the shot glass in my hand. I paused for only for a second and then poured it down my throat before I had a reason to think about why I shouldn’t.
It only took a second to destroy more than two months of hard fought sobriety and for a moment I felt like absolute shit as I stared into the empty shot glass. Then I reconsidered. No one but a lightweight got drunk off one damn shot. Or two. So when Matt offered me a second one I took it as well.
I thanked Matt, told him to touch base sometime soon so we could catch up and then returned to the table in the back room.
“Where’d you go?” Paige said and then laughed when I shoved a stack of chips in my mouth. She wouldn’t have been laughing if she knew I was chewing rapidly so that no one would get a whiff of tequila on my breath.
“Little boy’s room,” I told her.
She nodded because of course she believed me. After all, this was the first lie I’d ever told her.
Shit.
I’d been in such a hurry to get back to the table I’d forgotten about my mission to hunt down the waiter. I couldn’t very well go running away again so soon so I rested my hand on Paige’s knee and tried to relax. I could admit that the tequila shots helped with that.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the table Samantha and Erica remained unimpressed with Kellan but they were completely charmed by Thomas, sitting on either side of him and peppering him with questions about baseball and about his future plans. He would answer them thoughtfully and then ask a question of his own about their family or their planned medical careers. Kellan stared at the three of them and looked slightly puzzled, as if he didn’t understand how the natural order of the universe had been so terribly disrupted. I couldn’t help thinking Kellan could stand to learn a thing or two about women from our little brother.
Now that I was confident the taste of tequila was vanquished I leaned over and gave Paige a kiss. She was beyond sexy tonight in her black dress and the tiara was a nice touch. I’d never felt as lucky as I did when she smiled my way and I knew that she wanted me, only me.
The waiter appeared to take our order and about two seconds after he left I remembered that I had some business to take care of with him. I watched to see if he’d make another pass through the dining room but he didn’t. I allowed ten more minutes to go by and then gave up, excusing myself once more to go search for him.
I made my way to the other side of the restaurant where the bar was since this waiter seemed to get around a lot and I thought he might be there. Matt Florian was still there and he was happy to see me again so soon. He ordered another round of shots, kamikazes this time, and again when the glass was in my hand I couldn’t think of a good reason not to drink it. It seemed rude to put it back down. A cherry bomb was in my hand next and that made me think of good times in high school so I took it like a champ and slapped Matt on the back before leaving the bar.
I’d earned a solid buzz now but that was fine because I wasn’t driving. Someone else would drive or we’d call a car or something. We still had to go hang out at the concert anyway so it would be hours before I needed to worry about things like cars.
The waiter appeared in front of me and I dug my card out, explaining what I wanted him to do with it. He nodded and said he’d take care of everything so I was glad I’d taken this walk after all.
Back at the table the food had arrived. I was relieved I could just sit down and start stuffing my face because then no one would notice if I smelled like liquor. Paige was so happy to see me and fuck, she was so sexy I couldn’t stop staring. I ate my enchiladas and then slid my hand up her thigh, high enough to make her giggle. I couldn’t wait to get her naked later. My head felt a little fuzzy right now but that was all right. That would wear off.
I stood up and raised my glass of soda. “To my beautiful girl, Paige,” I said. “Happy birthday, baby.”
I must have been talking loudly because everyone in the room turned but they weren’t annoyed. They clapped and called, “Happy Birthday!”
Then I sat down and kissed Paige again and everyone at the table was happy.
Well, almost everyone.
Kellan was in a shitty mood now. He looked at me and heaved a sigh like he was tired. Or pissed. I didn’t know why he should be tired. It was early. Maybe he was still pissed because Thomas was better at getting girls than he was. I shrugged at him as if to say ‘What’s your fucking problem?’ but he just shook his head slowly and picked at his tacos with his fork instead of eating them. He had to be sick. Kellan never pushed food away.
After we were done eating the waiter brought my card back and I signed the piece of paper and Paige hugged me and then we left.
The concert was close enough for us to walk over. Paige’s friends were ahead of us with Thomas and my arm was around Paige as we walked. I wondered where Kellan was but when I turned around he was walking right behind me. Maybe he wasn’t sick after all.
I pulled Paige closer and wished we could skip the stupid concert and go somewhere else so I could strip that hot little dress off her but this was her birthday and she wanted to go to hear music so that’s what we’d do. Anything for Paige. This was her night and there were no limits to what we could do together. There were no limits on anything at all.
Chapter Twenty-One
Paige
Somewhere along the walk from the restaurant to the concert in the park I realized something was up with Derek. He was happy. He was too happy. He was also slightly unsteady. Since we were walking with our arms around each other it was possible no one realized it but me. I didn’t understand. He’d been fine before we went to eat. He definitely hadn’t ordered any alcohol at the table. I would have noticed.
Then I remembered how he disappeared a couple of times, presumably to use the restroom. I didn’t want to believe he might have done something else. Like sneak off to the bar in the middle of dinner.
We followed the sound of the music because the concert had already started. It was a free event so there was a solid crowd but the park beside the municipal lake was huge so there was also plenty of empty space.
Derek slid his arms around my waist and I enjoyed just being close to him and listening to the music. At least I would have enjoyed it if he could stay in one place. He kept lurching around and while it wasn’t enough to cause a scene it was irritating to stand next to.
The band launched into a cover of Ballroom Blitz. I loved this song and we had a great view not far from the stage. Derek’s arm was still around my waist and that would have nice except he kept moving.
When I noticed Kellan standing nearby and staring at his brother with dismay I knew I’d been right in figuring out that Derek was indeed drunk. The only place he could have gotten alcohol was the restaurant
. A twinge of anger pricked me, something I’d never felt about Derek before. He’d really done it. He’d lied about going to the restroom and instead snuck off to the bar in the middle of my birthday dinner. I looked up and tried to glare to let him know I understood what he had done but he just smiled down at me as if he didn’t have a care in the world. Sam and Ric hadn’t noticed yet. They were having a good time appreciating the music and talking to Thomas. I didn’t want them to see Derek this way, to think they’d been right to distrust him.
“Come with me,” I said in Derek’s ear and he rewarded me with a kiss.
Kellan materialized on my other side.
“You need some help?” he whispered and I immediately understood that he’d been in this exact place before, that he was used to being the one to deal with his brother when he got wasted. But then Thomas glanced our way with a worried expression and I thought maybe if I could just get Derek away for a few minutes, get him to puke it out and then drink some water, then maybe he’d be okay.
“I’ve got him,” I assured Kellan. He looked unconvinced but didn’t argue.
I tried to be as discreet as possible when I led Derek away. We managed to bump into a few people anyway and at some point my tiara fell off. I bent down to pick it up but it was dark and there were too many legs and feet so I just gave up and concentrated on my original task of getting Derek sobered up.
It was hard to stay annoyed with him when he was being so affectionate, nuzzling my neck, telling me I was beautiful over and over again. We’d managed to get some distance from the concert at this point and I saw a small building about twenty yards to the right. The sign said there were rest rooms inside but I reasoned there might also be a bench around, someplace we could sit in private and be unseen until he sobered up just a little.
There was no bench but tucked away on the far side of the building was a shadowy little alcove.
“Let’s just stay here for a few minutes,” I said, feeling vaguely maternal as Derek leaned on me for support. A vague part of me warned that was the wrong way to feel about your boyfriend but aside from the fact that he was drunk he was being very sweet, hugging and kissing me nonstop. I kissed him back and he felt good, so good. So I kissed him harder, feeling the cold wall at my back as he pressed against me.