Saved by the Single Dad

by Annie Claydon

  He grinned. ‘I’d be honoured. Will Miss Palmer mind?’

  ‘She’ll understand.’ What he needed was to let it all go, just for a few hours. And Cass didn’t know a better way than this. She handed him the book, settling down next to him on the sofa, and Jack opened it and started to read.

  Slowly, they slipped into another world together. The space between them seemed to diminish as they travelled the same paths, thought the same thoughts. And Jack’s voice lost the sharp edge of stress that she’d heard in it all evening.

  He finished the chapter and they embarked greedily on the next. But it was too much. When they stopped for a while, to talk sleepily, the book slipped from Jack’s fingers and Cass caught it before it fell to the floor.

  He looked so peaceful. Waking him up would only bring him back to a present that he needed to forget for now if he was going to face it tomorrow. Carefully, Cass manoeuvred Jack round on the sofa, taking off his shoes, disentangling herself from his arms when he reached for her, and fetching the duvet and a pillow from his bed to keep him warm.

  Maybe she should make some attempt to slip his jeans off; he’d be more comfortable. She reached under the duvet, finding the button on the waistband and undoing it. Jack stirred, and she snatched her hand away.

  Enough. Go to bed. Cass left Jack sleeping soundly on the sofa and crept upstairs.

  * * *

  When Jack woke, the feeling of well-being tempered the knowledge that he wasn’t where he was supposed to be. He was still in his clothes, but when he moved he realised that the waistband of his jeans had been loosened. He fastened the button again, a little tingle of excitement accompanying the thought that Cass must have undone it, and kicked the duvet off.

  Exactly what clinical level of unconsciousness did a man need to attain before he didn’t notice the touch of Cass’s fingers? Jack dismissed the notion that she must have slipped something into his cocoa and sat up. A loud crash sounded from the kitchen, propelling him to his feet.

  ‘Daddee...’ Ellie was sitting at the kitchen table, holding her arms out for her morning kiss. Cass was on her knees, carefully scooping up the remains of a jar of peanut butter, and shot him an embarrassed look.

  ‘Did we wake you?’

  ‘No, he was awake.’ Ellie settled the matter authoritatively. ‘So we can make some noise if we like.’

  Jack chuckled, lifting Ellie from her chair and kissing her. ‘Yes, but you still can’t make a mess. What do you say to Cass?’

  ‘Sorry. My hand slipped.’ Ellie repeated her current excuse for pretty much anything, and Cass got to her feet.

  ‘That’s okay, sweetie. There wasn’t much left in there.’

  ‘There’s another jar in the cupboard.’ It didn’t look as if Cass had started her own breakfast yet. ‘Thanks for getting Ellie up.’

  Cass grinned. ‘Call it a joint effort. Ellie picked out what she wanted to wear and I helped with some of the buttons.’

  He noticed that Ellie had odd socks on and decided not to mention it. He could rectify that easily enough when he got her into the car.

  ‘I really appreciate it, Cass.’ He tried to put everything that he felt into the words. ‘Last night, as well...’ Last night had helped him face everything a little better this morning.

  For a moment her gaze rested on his face, asking all the questions that she couldn’t voice with Ellie around. A sudden rush of warmth tugged at his heart, leaving Jack smiling, and she nodded.

  ‘You’re going in to see her today?’

  ‘Yes. Shall I give you a call and let you know how she is?’ That seemed important somehow. That Cass would be expecting his call.

  ‘I’d really like that.’

  * * *

  Tuesday had brought no change in Mimi’s condition, but Wednesday morning brought hopes that she might be woken later on in the day. Cass ate her lunch with her phone in front of her, on the table. When it buzzed, she snatched it up.

  ‘Could I ask an enormous favour?’ Jack asked a little awkwardly.

  ‘Sure. Name it.’

  ‘They’re waking Mimi up today. Rafe and Charlie, her brother, are with her at the moment, but I’d really like to go in and see her after work.’ A short pause. ‘There are some things I’d like to tell her.’

  ‘That’s really good news. I’ll get some shopping on the way home if you like.’

  ‘No... We’ve got plenty of everything. I was wondering if you could look after Ellie for a while. It’s just that Sarah’s going to her evening class tonight...’

  Cass swallowed hard. Shopping would have been the easier option, but Jack needed time with Mimi. She could do this. ‘Yes, of course. Take your time with Mimi; we’ll be fine.’ Her voice rang with a confidence she didn’t feel.

  ‘Thanks.’ He sounded relieved. ‘I really appreciate it. Sarah will drop her home on her way to her class...’

  She took Sarah’s mobile number just in case. Then Cass placed her phone back on the table, wondering what she’d just done.

  * * *

  ‘Guys...’ The ready room was buzzing with activity, and most of her colleagues had children of their own. ‘I need some help here. I’m looking after a four-year-old this evening. What am I going to do with her?’

  Eamon turned, chuckling. ‘Easy. First thing to do is feed her. No sweets or sugary stuff, or she’ll be running around all night...’

  Pete broke in. ‘Find her something she likes on TV for an hour, and then ask her to show you her favourite story book. She’ll tell you what it says; they know their favourites by heart.’

  Cass laughed, spinning a screwed-up ball of paper at Pete’s head. ‘I can manage a kid’s storybook. Big writing, spaced-out words.’

  ‘There you go then. If in doubt, go for princesses; they’re all the rage at the moment,’ Eamon added with a laugh. ‘Sorted.’

  Cass wasn’t so sure. A menu and a schedule of activities for the evening was the least of her worries. Looking after Jack’s child, in Jack’s house, was a mocking counterfeit of all the things she wanted so much but couldn’t have. She was just going to have to rise above that and maintain some kind of mental distance.

  Tea was accomplished, albeit with the maximum amount of mess. Jack had called, saying that after having slept for the whole afternoon, Mimi was now awake and relatively alert, and Cass told him to stay with her.

  Ellie selected her favourite cartoon and Cass sat down on the sofa with her to watch it, while Ellie kept up a running commentary of what was going to happen next.

  ‘The monster’s coming...’

  ‘Where?’

  ‘They’re going into the forest. He’s hiding...’ Ellie covered her eyes.

  ‘Hey. It’s okay.’ Cass assumed that Ellie knew that too, but that didn’t seem to erode the tension of the moment for her.

  ‘Cassandra...’ Ellie flung her arms around Cass’s neck, seeming genuinely terrified, and every instinct demanded that Cass hug her back.

  This moment should hurt, but Ellie was just a little girl and it was Cass’s name she’d called. Cass felt herself relax, holding Ellie tight. It was just the two of them, and she and Ellie could protect each other from the monsters that lurked in both their heads.

  * * *

  When Jack got home the kitchen was empty, apart from the remains of a meal which looked big enough to feed a whole army of four-year-olds. Upstairs, Ellie was in bed and her room was uncharacteristically tidy. Cass was sitting by her bed, the closed book on her lap indicating that she’d resorted to improvisation for Ellie’s bedtime story.

  ‘Daddy...? I had a nice time...’ Ellie’s voice was sleepy and Jack leaned over, kissing his daughter’s forehead.

  Cass’s face tipped towards him, tenderness shining from her eyes. He nodded in response to her mouthed qu
estion about Mimi, and she smiled.

  ‘Do you want to take over?’ She was halfway out of the chair next to Ellie’s bed and Jack shook his head. He’d worried about Ellie becoming too reliant on Cass, but in truth it was he who was beginning to feel he couldn’t do without her. Ellie was clearly a lot more relaxed about things.

  ‘What’s the story about?’

  Cass thought. ‘Well, there’s this princess. Beautiful, of course, and she’s got her own castle.’

  ‘Naturally.’ Jack sat down on the end of Ellie’s bed.

  ‘And she wants her own fire engine...’ Ellie woke up enough to show that she’d been following the plot.

  ‘Right. And does she get it?’ Jack found himself smiling. Not the tight, forced smile he’d been practising for the last couple of days, but one which came right from the heart.

  ‘Only after she passes her exams and the fitness test.’ Cass was clearly intent on making the thing believable.

  ‘And she’s going to rescue the prince.’ Ellie chimed in.

  Jack chuckled. ‘Don’t let me stop you, then. This I have to hear.’

  * * *

  The soft light from the bedside lamp had transformed Jack’s features into that very prince. Handsome and brave. Someone who could fight dragons and somehow turn an impossible situation into a storybook ending. When the princess had finished rescuing him, he rescued her back and everyone lived happily ever after.

  When Ellie finally drifted off into sleep neither she nor Jack moved. Holding on to the magic for just a little while longer, despite there being no excuse to do so.

  But this was no fairy tale. Jack wasn’t hers, any more than Noah or Ellie were. Cass rose quietly from her chair, putting the book back in its place, and walked out of the room, leaving Jack to draw the covers over his sleeping child.

  The air in the kitchen was cool on her face. She stacked the dishwasher and tidied up, then heard a noise at the doorway.

  ‘Oh! You surprised me.’ Despite all of her efforts to bring herself back to reality, Jack still looked like a handsome prince. ‘How’s Mimi?’

  He nodded. ‘Very drowsy, and a bit incoherent at times, but that’s just to be expected. She’s doing well. Thanks for looking after Ellie.’

  ‘It’s no trouble. How about you—are you okay?’

  ‘I’m fine.’ Cass sent him a querying look and he flashed her a smile. ‘Really.’

  Cass nodded, picking up a cloth and giving the worktop a second wipe. Jack didn’t move and the silence weighed down on her, full of all the things they’d left unsaid.

  ‘Would you like a pizza princess? There are some left over in the fridge. They don’t actually look too much like princesses...’ She was babbling and closed her mouth before anything too crazy escaped.

  ‘I’d like to thank you—for what you said the other night.’

  When she turned, the warmth in Jack’s eyes seemed more like heat now. Delicious heat.

  ‘I’ve been re-evaluating. Giving the believing thing a try.’

  Something caught in her throat. ‘H... How’s that going?’

  ‘It’s...different.’ His gaze dropped to the floor. ‘Can I believe in you, Cass?’

  She didn’t know how to answer that. But it definitely needed an answer. She touched his hand and he gripped hers tight, pulling her towards him.

  ‘I want you to know...’ He shook his head as if trying to clear it. ‘I didn’t ask you here for this.’

  ‘Anything can be re-evaluated.’

  For a moment they were both still. As if the next move would be the deciding one, and neither quite trusted themselves to make it.

  ‘I can’t promise you anything, Cass. I’m not the man you want...’

  He was exactly the man she wanted. No lies, no strings and none of the attendant heartbreak. He was saying all the right things, and making her feel all the right things too.

  ‘Then we’re even. I won’t promise anything either.’

  It was all either of them needed to know. There was no need to hide any more, and the air was electric with whispered kisses.

  Then more. Much more, until the kitchen was no longer the place to be and the bedroom was the only place in the world.

  They tiptoed up the stairs in an exaggerated game of having to be quiet. Jack looked in on Ellie, closing her bedroom door, and then turned to Cass.

  ‘Asleep?’ She allowed her lips to graze his ear.

  ‘Fast asleep.’ He led her to his own bedroom and as soon as he’d shut the door behind them, he pulled her close. ‘Be quiet, now...’

  That wasn’t going to be easy. His kiss was just the start of it, and when his hand found her breast Cass swallowed a moan.

  ‘Keep that up and I’ll be screaming...’ The thought of being in his arms, all the things that he might do, made her want to scream right now.

  ‘No, you won’t.’ His body moved against hers, his arm around her waist crushing her tight so that she could feel every last bit of the friction. ‘You’re not going to have breath enough to scream.’

  She could believe that. Cass fought to get her arms free of his embrace and pushed him backwards towards the bed. He resisted the momentum, imprisoning her against his strong body. ‘Oh, no, you don’t...’

  Cass relaxed in his arms, letting herself float in his kisses. Balancing her weight against him, curling her leg slowly around his.

  ‘Oof...’ He fell back on to the bed, caught off balance, and she landed on top of him, breaking her own fall with her arms. ‘Nice move, princess...’

  ‘I have more.’ She pinned him down, running her hand across his chest, luxuriating in the feel of his body. He gasped as her hand found the button on his jeans, and she felt his body jolt as she slipped her fingers past the waistband.

  ‘I just bet you do.’ Suddenly she was on her back and Jack had the upper hand again. Holding her down, stretching her arms up over her head, dipping to whisper in her ear.

  ‘I’m going to strip you naked... Then I’m going to find out just how many moves you’ve got...’

  A shard of light from the hallway. Jack froze.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  ‘DADDY! WHAT ARE you doing?’

  The one question he’d never had to even consider an answer for. Jack closed his eyes in disbelief, feeling Cass wriggle out from under him.

  ‘Don’t hurt her, Daddy.’ He heard Ellie pound into the room and he rolled over on to his back, feeling something soft smack against his legs. Ellie had obviously come armed with her teddy bear.

  ‘It’s okay, Ellie. It’s all right...’ How the hell was he going to explain this one?

  ‘Ellie...’ Cass’s laughing voice. ‘Ellie, it’s okay. We were just playing. Daddy was tickling me.’ Jack opened his eyes and saw Cass, on her feet and swinging Ellie up in her arms.

  ‘Like this...’ Ellie’s fingers scrunched against Cass’s shoulder in a tickling motion.

  ‘Just like that.’ She plumped down on to the bed, rolling Ellie on to her back and tickling her. Cass seemed to have a better handle on the situation than he did. Maybe because she didn’t have to worry about surreptitiously refastening any buttons.

  ‘What’s the matter, Ellie?’ He waited for their laughter to subside, wishing his wits would unscramble themselves.

  ‘I had a bad dream.’ Ellie remembered what she was here for and flung herself into his arms. ‘Make it go away.’

  ‘Okay.’ He held her tight, flashing Cass an apologetic look, but she just grinned. ‘Tell me all about it and we’ll make it go away.’

  * * *

  It hadn’t taken long to comfort Ellie and Jack had suggested that she might like to go back to bed, but she wouldn’t budge. So Cass had put an end to the dilemma by getting Ellie to lie down on the bed
next to her, with Jack on the other side.

  ‘I’m sorry.’ He mouthed the words quietly over the top of Ellie’s head, a mix of uncertainty and regret on his face.

  ‘That’s okay.’ This seemed so right, so natural. Lying on the bed with Jack, his child curled up against her.

  ‘Really?’ He stretched out his hand, brushing the side of her face.

  ‘Not quite what I expected.’ She whispered the words quietly so as not to disturb Ellie, and Jack dropped a kiss on to his finger and planted it on to her cheek. ‘But it’s really nice.’

  ‘Could I hold your hand?’ His eyes were so tender. When he folded his hand around hers, in the space above Ellie’s head, it felt as if a circle of warmth had closed. One which included her. Cass had often wondered what this would feel like, and given up hope of ever knowing.

  She had been so afraid of this, terrified of the hurt when she and Jack were torn apart again. But now that didn’t seem to matter. It was complete, a thing of itself that couldn’t be touched by anything. Tomorrow it would be gone—Jack wasn’t hers to keep and neither was Ellie—but even that couldn’t spoil tonight.

  She stayed awake for as long as she could, knowing that when she slept it would be the beginning of the end. Ellie was sleeping soundly, and when Jack’s eyes finally fluttered closed she watched him sleep. If tonight was going to have to last her for the rest of her life, and right now it felt that it could, she didn’t want to miss any of it.

  * * *

  It had been almost forty-eight hours since he and Cass had lain down on his bed with Ellie. Thirty-six since he’d woken, stretching over to plant a parting kiss on Cass’s fingers while she slept, before picking Ellie up and taking her into her own bedroom to get dressed. Jack had managed to spend one waking hour without thinking about it, largely due to a difficult call at work, although at night he wasn’t doing so well. But he couldn’t be expected to control his dreams.

  He didn’t speak about the shock of having Ellie walk in on them, or what had followed, which had somehow been so much more intimate than the night he’d been expecting. Cass said nothing either and their conspiracy of silence seemed to protect those few short hours from the indignity of careless words or doubts. Jack knew two things for sure. It had been perfect, and it mustn’t happen again.