Here's Looking For You, Grim (Tales From a Second-Hand Wand Shop Book 3)

by Robert P. Wills

  “It reminds me...”

  “Of food in some way,” interrupted Nulu. “Two can play that game.”

  Rat squinted his good eye at the Trolless. He twitched his ragged whiskers for good measure.

  Nulu patted Rat on the head. “I’m teasing Rat. I’m a little hungry too, now that you mention it.” She hazarded a glance at Klank.

  Klank nodded, then scanned the area. In the distance was a group of three trees. “I say we go over there to eat. Not sure if I want to eat back in there.” He gestured over his shoulder at the Foreboding Forest. “Can’t be more than a half hour’s walk.” Klank looked at the others for their approval. “To that...”

  “A grouping of trees is called a corpse!” Grimbledung had been spouting collectives all day to pass the time (since he couldn’t see the clouds while in the forest).

  Nulu nodded back at the Gnoll. “Sounds good to me. A nice picnic sounds like a good way to start our trip back.” She looked at the dark clouds. “And if it starts to rain, we can wait it out there.”

  The group made for the corpse of trees as the clouds finally overtook the sun. No one understood why the all-powerful sun, maker of light and heat, would let a few rebellious clouds push it around, but it happened all the time. Some thought they had to be related, probably by blood with how the clouds always seemed to get their way. Other’s believed that the sun owed the clouds money from a late night Trufflidge game... Rightfully so, actually.

  The temperature dropped sharply as the clouds completely masked the sun. The group picked up their pace as a breeze developed. “It’s like we’re back in the forest,” said Grimbledung. As he looked up, a raindrop splattered on his head. “We are going to get wet, me thinks.” Several other drops hit him. Large ones “Gah! Last one there is all wet!” Grimbledung broke into a run towards the trees that were still almost a half a mile away. He thrust his arms into the air. “Winning!”

  Klank moved beside Grimbledung, trotting comfortably. “Rat, is it true what they say about rats and a sinking ship?”

  Rat looked from the Gnoll to the dark skies, to Grimbledung, then back to Klank.

  “Hey!” Complained Grimbledung as he huffed and puffed. “Don’t you dare!”

  “Sorry, Grim. It’s every rat for himself.” With a quick jump, he landed on Klank’s shoulders. “Ready when you are.” He grabbed handfuls of hair.

  Klank sprang ahead at a full sprint.

  “Hey!” He shouted at the rapidly disappearing pair.

  “Road apples!” Grimbledung heard a hissing behind him. Without stopping, he looked over his shoulder. There was a wall of rain approaching him rapidly. “Nuts.” He looked forward again and tried to pick up his pace.

  Just as Nulu passed him in long, terrain-gobbling strides.

  “Steaming road apples!”

  Nulu was not nearly as fast as a four-legged Gnoll encumbered by only a backpack and a small rodent, but much, much faster that a Gnome.

  “Steaming road apples with nuts on top!” He said as he watched the distance between them grow. Within moments, the wall of rain overtook him. Only moments after, he was drenched. His dress tunic stuck to him all over. He looked up at the skies, silently cursing (so he didn’t get a mouthful of water- birds flew up there you know!) as he tried to keep his pace up.

  Unsuccessfully.

  By the time he reached the tree, Klank had a fire going and was leaning over a boiling caldron of stew. Nulu was leaning back against a tree, a large tankard of cider in her hand.

  Rat was asleep.

  “Well, this is a find how-do-you-do.” Grimbledung shook himself off, purposely moving closer to Nulu as he did.

  Nulu raised an eyebrow at him. “You want tossed back out there?” She gestured at the downpour with her tankard. “Under here it’s barely sprinkling, if you haven’t noticed.” She took a drink. “Or do you want some cider?”

  “Cider,” Grimbledung said meekly. He moved closer to the fire. A strange feeling tickled the scar behind his ear. He looked around the area. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

  “Yer cup is out there.” Klank pointed just past the protective cover of the trees at a clay tankard that was overflowing with rain water. “That what yerrr lookin’ for?”

  Grimbledung shook his head to try and clear it. “Sure, I suppose?” The feeling he was being watched was overwhelming. “Anyone else have the creeping willies?”

  “You mean because your clothes are see-through at the moment?”

  “No, Nulu.” Grimbledung quickly scampered out and retrieved his tankard. He looked at it. “How’re you going to make this into cider? You know this comes from the same sky birds fly in, right?”

  “Ever had a bird crap on you?”

  Grimbledung shrugged. “Sure. Usually when I’m saying something about Fate. Who hasn’t?”

  Fate looked over and raised an eyebrow.

  “So the droppin’s don’t stay up there, you daft Gnome. The water’s clean.” Klank took the tankard from him and sloshed some out. “Lookit this.” He placed it atop the stew pot that was on the fire and took a jar from his pack. He unstopped it and moved to pour it into the cup.

  Nothing happened.

  “It’s empty.” Grimbledung’s shoulders slacked. “No more cider.” Were those bells? He looked up into the thick leaves. When he looked back down, something that looked like a tendril of tar was hanging out of the jar. “Is that tar?”

  “Boiled down cider. Just takes a dollop and it lasts for months.” As the tendril of goo reached the water, Klank twisted his wrist quickly and the tendril snapped off and sank. Klank continued the motion, coaxing the remaining tentacle of cider back into the jar. He pressed a cork hard into the opening. “Give it a minute, then stir it with a stick.”

  “Neat!” Bells again? He looked up worriedly.

  “What you keep looking at?”

  “I keep hearing bells.” He rubbed the scar behind his ear.

  “A lunch bell?” Rat was suddenly wide awake. “Count me in.”

  Grimbledung drew his wand. “Maybe we should go.”

  “What, out there?” Rat pointed outward. The rain still had not slowed. In fact, it seemed to have even picked up a little. “Not without a warm meal in me first.”

  Nulu leaned forward. “Relax, Grim. We’re perfectly safe here. Just drink your cider and you’ll..” She stopped in mid-sentence as she looked up.

  “Bells?”

  Nulu shook her head. “It’s just the wind, Grim.”

  “I have a bad feeling about this. Creeping willy bad.”

  Klank offered Grimbledung the steaming tankard. It smelled like cider. He cautiously took a sip. It tasted like it too! “Wow, that’s good cider.” He looked up. “Can you hear the bells?”

  “No, I can’t,” said Rat. “Not a bit.”

  “Well, I can hear the bells,” Grimbledung looked up. “Just hear them chiming. My temperature is climbing.” He shook his head. “I can hear the bells”

  “Gads, now you’ve got me jittery,” said Klank. “The stew’ll be ready in a little. We’ll eat then head out. Sound good?”

  Grimbledung nodded as he squatted by the fire. “I suppose.” Reflexively, he reached up and rubbed the scar behind his ear. He took another sip of cider but his eyes were trained at the leaves above him.

  “So the stew is on its way?” Rat sat on his haunches. “I’m famished you know. And Grimbledung’s fidgeting isn’t helping any.”

  “What’s fidgeting got to do with eating?”

  Rat looked at Nulu. “It’s common knowledge that when...”

  Suddenly the air was filled with Pixies.

  Grimbledung jumped to his feet. “Everyone out in the rain!” He jabbed his wand at a swooping Pixie. A stream of lava enveloped it. He continued moving his wand, catching another in the molten stream.

  Nulu pushed herself to her feet and swung her tankard at a Pixie. The tankard shattered as it connected, sending the Pixie reeling. The cider hissed as it
splashed on the fire. She dropped the useless handle and pulled a wand from her belt.

  Grimbledung ducked as Nulu aimed across him, tracking a Pixie as it flew at Klank. She blasted it out of existence once it was past Grimbledung.

  “No disintegrations!” Grimbledung shrieked as he ducked again. “Get in the rain!” He stumbled backwards into the downpour, falling roughly on his butt.

  Klank grabbed a Pixie and stuffed it into his mouth. He chewed it up and swallowed hard. “They taste like ham! Mayhap we can get them on the menu at the school?” He reached for another one.

  Grimbledung immolated another Pixie as they continued to swarm. “Get out in the rain!”

  Finally, Nulu and Klank backed into the rain from their current positions then jogged over to Grimbledung.

  “So, they don’t like water? I never knew.” Nulu aimed her wand into the swarm of Pixies. There seemed to be hundreds of them. She blasted another.

  “Water doesn’t bother them when it’s on the ground. Rain is a completely different story.”

  “Where’s Rat?” Klank looked around. “RAT!”

  Rat sat in the swarm of Pixies, sipping Grimbledung’s abandoned tankard of cider. “Quit shouting; I’m right here.”

  “Get out here Rat!”

  Rat shook his head. “Pixies don’t mess with rats.” He took another sip of cider. “Seems they find us repulsive.” He stuck out his tongue. “We’re a misunderstood species, rats.”

  True to his word, the Pixies swarmed all under the tree, but still gave Rat a healthy berth.

  Two Pixies began to heave the lid off the stew pot.

  “Stay outta my stew!”

  “Shut up you flea bag!” Sneered one of the Pixies tugging on the lid. It’s voice seemed to be intermixed with bells.

  “Why don’t you come stop us?” Said the other. “You walking carpet!”

  Nulu aimed down her arm carefully at the first Pixie and blasted it. The disintegrate spell hit the Pixie squarely in the chest and ricocheted off the lid and passed over Grimbledung’s shoulder.

  “No disintegrations!” Grimbledung screeched as he dropped to his knees, cowering.

  “Sorry Grimbledung.”

  “Grimbledung?” Tinkled a Pixie.

  “”Grimbledung?” Said the remaining one on the stew pot. It was flittering just above the lid, hands on her hips. “Is that you?”

  “Come closer, Grimbledung,” said another as it flew right to the edge of where the leaves stopped the rain.

  “GRRIIIIMMM BALLLL Dung,” the Pixies all said in unison.

  Grimbledung sheathed his wand and covered his ears. “Stop!”

  “GRRRIIIMMM BALLL DUNG!”

  “Stop it!”

  “GRRRIIIIMM BALLL....”

  “Hey, leave him alone!” Interrupted Nulu.

  A Pixie left the swarm and hovered in front of the Trolless, just under cover of the tree -and more importantly- just out of her reach. “What’re you going to do about it, Troll?” She brandished her own wand and aimed it at Nulu. “Leave the Gnome. Take the Caldron. And no one gets hurt.”

  Grimbledung clapped his hands over his ears. “Leave the caldron! Let’s just go!”

  Nulu took a step forward, putting the Pixie within reach. “No flea with wings is going to push me around. The Pixie moved back, out of grabbing-range yet again. Nulu took another step forward. She was now under the trees.

  “Nulu!” Grimbledung saw red before his eyes. His brain was a swirl of madness. There was an almost maddening jangling of bells in his ears. He was losing control. “Let’s go!” His vision tunneled in on Nulu; she was a small figure in a sea of swirling red. “Gah!”

  Nulu reached out again. “Stinking Pixie bullies.” She grabbed the Pixie out of the air. “Got you!”

  “Really?” In a flash of wings, Pixies swarmed her. Thin silvery ribbons sprang from their wands, entangling her.

  “Get out into the rain, Nulu,” Klank called as he sprang. But it was too late. Within mere moments, Nulu was completely mummified in the silvery threads. She swayed one way, then the other, then fell to the ground roughly.

  Klank landed beside her and grabbed her around the shoulders. The silky threads made it difficult to get a good hold on her. He arched his back and began to pull the Trolless out into the rain. Again, too late. As he frantically tugged, the Pixies pounced on the hapless Gnoll. In moments, he too lay beside the struggling Nulu, trapped in thousands of Pixie strands.

  Rat sat quietly throughout the entire melee, hoping no one took notice of him.

  Not a Pixie did.

  Grimbledung got to his feet, pounding his hands on his head. “Get out! Get out!” He screeched.

  “GRRRIIIMMM BALLLL DUNG!” The Pixies all said in unison.

  Unable to control his actions, Grimbledung ran onto the Great Shambler Plains through the pouring rain. Pixie Madness had overtaken him.

  “Well, that’s no good. How we supposed to get him now, Pete?” Asked a Pixie as it flitted down and landed on the struggling Nulu. He looked down. “Quit squirming or I’ll give you something to squirm about.”

  Pete looked out into the rain. It had subsided considerably. “That’s not too much to be flying in, I don’t think.”

  A Pixie flew out into the rain. The drops struck it harshly, pushing it down, but it was still able to fly. More or less. The Pixie raised its arms in triumph, then quickly lowered them to keep her balance.

  “See? Glider there can fly in it.” Pete appraised his fellow Pixie. “More or less.”

  “I say we go finish off that Gnome for what he did to us!” Glider brandished her wand. “Who’s with me?”

  Rat held his breath.

  “Let’s go!” The Pixies called in unison. Like a tinkling swarm of wasps, the Pixies poured out into the rain and in the general direction Grimbledung ran. Or more precisely, was running. Being a Gnome, he hadn’t made much progress and was still plainly in sight, a mere 200 yards away. He was still hitting his head as he went.

  Rat let out a breath. “I thought they’d never go.” He scurried over to Nulu. “I’ll get you out, don’t you worry.” He looked at Nulu and Klank for a long moment. “How the hell do I get you out of that stuff?”

  Nulu mumbled something.

  “What?”

  Nulu mumbled again. She thrashed around as she did so.

  Rat hopped onto Nulu’s chest and using his claws tore away the silvery threads over her mouth.

  “You can’t breathe though this stuff. Help Klank!”

  Rat hopped from Nulu to Klank and moved to his snout. Carefully, he plucked away the threads from around his nose. As he cleared it, Klank took a deep breath. “Good thing you don’t have a cold, right?”

  Klank thrashed about.

  “Relax. That’s one crisis down.” He moved to Nulu’s hand. It still had her wand in it. He nibbled one end of it to remove the threads. “Those taste horrible.” When he had one end clear, he pulled the wand free. He hopped onto Klank’s chest; he was closer to the edge of the trees. “Now to deal with the second crisis.” He looked out into the rain. The swarm of Pixies was gaining on Grimbledung. The downpour had slowed them down, and they flew erratically, but no matter what, Grimbledung could only run as fast as a Gnome. Which wasn’t particularly fast, compared to how a Pixie flew. Even in a rainstorm. “What spell should I use?”

  Klank sneezed, spraying Rat with snot.

  “Gross! What is the matter with you?” He flicked Klank’s nose with his free hand. “I’m trying to help Grimbledung out there.”

  Klank sneezed again.

  Rat ducked but not soon enough. He caught the full spray in his face. “You know, even for a rat, that’s disgusting.” A lantern went off in his head. “Oh!” He turned outward and looked up at the sky. “So more rain, huh?”

  Klank inhaled.

  “Don’t you do it.” Rat warned. He pointed the wand at the cloud-filled sky. He paused for a moment, wand upraised, then turned back to Klank. �
��You know, I’m not sure what I’m doing here.”

  Klank exhaled then inhaled again. Deeply.

  “All right, I’ll give it a shot.” He turned around and aimed his wand skyward.

  Rain drops!

  Keep falling on Grimbledung’s head.

  Just like a guy whose feet are too big for his bed.

  Nothing seems to fit. Those.

  Raindrops falling on Grimbledung’s head!

  They keep falling. And falling.

  HARD!

  He intoned.

  Klank snorted.

  “Hey, what do you want from me?” A bolt of lightning struck the topmost tree in the corpse. It burst into flame. “Wow, even the gods didn’t approve. As long as it starts...”

  A torrential downpour fell from the heavens. It was as if they were under a waterfall. Rat tried to look out to where Grimbledung was, but all he saw was grey rain. Even at just over 200 yards, he was completely obscured. “Well that worked.”

  Nulu struggled under her wrappings as water began to flow past her.

  “Whoops. That’s not good.” Rat dropped the wand and moved back to the pot. Next to it were Klank’s cooking utensils. He picked up a knife and scurried back to Klank. He deftly slid the knife under the threads and pulled up sharply. The threads held fast. He tugged and tugged, sawing back and forth at them. Finally, little by little, they began to break. “Let me get Klank out first, Nulu. Then he can get you out. With his fur, there’s more room for me to make a mistake if I cut too...”

  Klank let out a yelp.

  “Sorry, Klank. Nulu, stop distracting me! These are some really strong threads!” As rat worked on the silver threads, the rain -unbelievably – seemed to increase in ferocity. Lightning lit the dark skies as thunder crashed overhead. There were those that believed the two traveled together. Possibly siblings chasing each other around when the clouds hid the sun. Probably so they couldn’t get in trouble. It had to be true since one never heard thunder or saw lightning when the sun was out and bright.

  A small stream began to flow past the trio, putting out the fire in the process. Rat glanced down and noticed Nulu’s wand floating off. He retrieved it quickly then returned to the Pixie Thread cutting. When he had Klank’s upper body free, Klank took control of the knife. “Hey!” He chuckled as he looked at the knife. “You know it works better if you use the sharp side to cut.” Klank chuckled. “I got it from here, Rat. See what ya can save from our stuff before it all floats off.”