Here's Looking For You, Grim (Tales From a Second-Hand Wand Shop Book 3)

by Robert P. Wills

  “For a fire.”

  Grimbledung looked at the female’s face for any signs of malice; she was still smiling amicably. “You planning on starting a fire?”

  She shoved him with her free hand. “No, silly. For when one breaks out in town.”

  When? “You planning on starting a fire?” He tried again.

  She shook her head. “No it’s for when one does break out.”

  There’s that when again! “Why would a fire break out?”

  She shrugged and moved back to the counter. “Just in case. I was in Aution when that fire broke out.” Grimbledung looked down at the floor as he moved back to his side of the counter. “You know what I thought as I was running for it, Grimbledung?”

  Grimbledung looked past her shoulder. “What’s that, Lisa?”

  “Where were all the water wands?” She put the wand on the counter and spread her arms out wide. “You’d think that a few dozen water wands could have solved that whole problem quick and easy, right? That’s what I was thinking. Why even have a bucket brigade when a few dozen water wands could have solved the problem.”

  Grimbledung opened his mouth. Then closed it. The thought hadn’t occurred to him at the time. “That didn’t occur to me at the time.”

  “Really?” She narrowed her eyes.

  Grimbledung looked down at the wand. It really hadn’t occurred to him. If it had, he would have passed out every water wand in the shop and it might, just might, have stopped all the events that had occurred since then from happening. Gads! Grimbledung looked at the female finally. She was still staring at him expecting an answer, apparently. “Really.” He raised his hands defensively. “There was a lot going on all at once you know. There was a jamboree with a band and everything. Then things started to burn...” His voice trailed off.

  Lisa shrugged, “Well, Julesville has turned out pretty good, in any case.” She looked down. “How much?”

  He blinked at her. “I don’t know. Heaps good?”

  She reached across and shoved him again. It seemed that his angry button was located someplace other than his shoulder because the move didn’t seem to raise his blood pressure. Really, anyway. “No, silly. How much is the wand?” She smiled again.

  For the owner of a gold mine? “Two silver.”

  Lisa reached into a pocket in her dress. “That’s a fair price. I lost far more than that in the fire.”

  “How much?”

  The smile faltered for the briefest of moments. “Heaps.”

  “Well, I’m sorry to hear that, Lisa. Really I am.” Because he was.

  “Thanks Grimbledung.” She smiled. She picked up the wand carefully. She had an overwhelming urge to shove it into the Gnome’s mouth and burst his sides with a torrent of water. “I’m glad I met you,” she said instead. “I hope to see you again.”

  “Sure?”

  She turned and walked out of the store, waving over her shoulder as she went. “Ta, ta!”

  “Same to you?” He said, confused. He knew what a ‘tata’ was, but he was pretty sure that’s not what she meant. He hoped that wasn’t what she meant. Ewwww!

  Lisa stepped onto the sidewalk, the smile still on her face. After Door closed behind her, she spat onto the road- a good six feet away as the smile dropped from her face. A mask of hate replaced it. “Just you wait. Grimbledung” With a snort and another spit, she turned towards the ruins of Aution. Towards where three of her brothers were. The other two weren’t there anymore. Neither were her parents. As a matter of fact, they weren’t anywhere anymore. Thanks to Grimbledung. “Just you wait.”

  Grimbledung shook his head. “I’m glad that’s over with.” He returned to his doodles, unaware of the danger that he was in. “Two silvers. Very nice.” He took another drink of ale. He considered how he felt. He did think he was feeling better. Or perhaps more drunk. Either seemed acceptable. He downed the drink and refilled it. And stared out the window.

  Grimbledung exhaled loudly. “Bored,” he said just as the door of the shoppe opened. He looked up.

  Entering the shop was what had to have been the oldest looking human he had ever seen. He was bent over, and hunch-backed, and seemed to have only one arm.

  Here we go. A nice quiet sale from this last shred of a human. This should be a piece of pie…

  Meanwhile, across town...

  Drimblerod exited the carpenter’s shop, across town from the wand shoppe. He shuffled out the door with a bar stool in each hand. “Such a nice, a quiet morning,” he said to no one in particular. As a female Dwarf approached, he smiled and offered “Good morning to you.”

  She kept her head facing straight ahead and ignored him completely.

  “Some folk.” Drimblerod hefted the two stools several times then began to walk back to the shoppe.

  Akita snuck silently behind the Gnome. Finally when he was right on him, he pinched Drimblerod’s side “Hey! Whatcha doing?”

  Drimblerod dropped one of the stools. “You trying to scare me to death or something?”

  “Scare you from what? Everything's back to normal 'round here.”

  “Normal?”

  Akita grinned, “Rrrright. What I meant was everything's nice and calm 'round here.”

  Drimblerod nodded. “It's about time too. After dealing with those Halflings, their stupid booby-trapped wands, assassins of various sizes and shapes, chasing Grimbledung over half the map, some quiet time will be worthwhile,” he said. “Fate, willing of course” he added quickly.

  Akita let his tongue hang out. “So where's our often at the center of attention Gnome? Staying outta trouble?”

  “I left him tending the shoppe while I went looking for some more stools.”

  “More or new?”

  Drimblerod shook his head, “The ones we have are holding up well. It's just that with the bigger floor plan, people come by to visit and we sometimes don't have enough places for them to sit.”

  “Good problem to have.”

  “True. I was telling Grimbledung just this morning...”

  Akita turned to look up the road, his ears perked up. “Ya hear that?”

  “Gads. No. What?”

  “Glass breaking someplace up the way.” He took a step down the street. “And some hammering or a door slammin’.”

  “In the direction of the shoppe?”

  Akita looked back at the Gnome. “Someone's slamming a door over and over.”

  “Rolton Chips.” He looked up at the heavens as he moved beside the Constable. “Come on Fate. Just a week is all I ask.” He raised his hands plaintively. “What that too much to ask for?”

  Apparently, it was.

  The two walked down the street quickly, and at the intersection, turned left. Drimblerod could see glass and bits of wood in front of Second Hand Sorcery, halfway down the block. “Someone broke our window?” He could now hear Door opening and shutting loudly. Several pedestrians had stopped to watch the commotion.

  “I hope that's all that's broke.” Akita moved to a trot, Drimblerod close behind.

  The two made it to the shoppe quickly. A crowd had gathered. “Go about your business. There's nothing to see, folks.”

  “Are you kidding?” Said a Human. “This is the best show in town, I'd imagine.”

  Several nodded in agreement. They all stayed put. In fact, more seemed to be joining what was now becoming a large crowd. At the back of the group, unnoticed by most, two Humans and a Gnomess stopped to watch.

  “We're here Door,” said Drimblerod as he stepped onto the wood planking in front of the shop. He patted the door's frame. “Relax.”

  Door shuddered in response.

  “Grimbledung?” Drimblerod dropped the barstools and stepped into the store. Colossus was standing by the door to the back room. “You!”

  “I was out back in the outhouse when I heard the commotion,” said Colossus. “I just got here.”

  Akita bent down and sniffed the broken glass and framework. “Was a human.”

/>   “See?” Said Colossus.

  “Yeah,” said the man on the street. “Older guy, I think.”

  Akita turned around. “Yeah?”

  “Didn't get a good look at him, you know.” He shrugged. “None of my business, you know.”

  “Then you should go elsewhere, you know!” Growled Akita.

  “Akita, get in here!”

  With a head shake, Akita turned back to the shop. Door clattered at him as he entered. “Where's Grimble...” he stopped when he saw the Gnome lying on the floor. Or at least his feet because his partner was blocking the rest of him from view.

  Drimblerod looked at his partner. He didn't seem to be breathing. There was a smallish (hopefully) metal rod sticking about three inches out of his chest. “I think he's dead.”

  “Nuts.”

  Drimblerod bent over to look at the metal rod. “It looks like a miniature crossbow bolt, if I had to guess.”

  Akita narrowed his eyes. “Hate them things. Little crossbows. Only thieves and assassins use ‘em.”

  Drimblerod stood and moved to the back of the counter. He pulled open a drawer. It was empty. “Thieves.” He slammed the door shut. He looked at Colossus. “And you didn’t hear anything?”

  “Just the window breaking. Then when I came out here, you were coming in.” He looked around the store. “I’m going back to mopping, I think.”

  “You do that.”

  Colossus obliged Drimblerod. Truth be told, he had sworn an oath to obey the laws of the town but if the townsfolk disregarded their own laws and killed each other, he was fine with that.

  Akita's ears perked up. “That thing silver?” He moved closer to examine the miniature crossbow bolt sticking out of his chest. It looked like four inches of it was sticking out of the Gnome. “Wonder how long that thing is.”

  “I don't know. Why?”

  “Just curious.” Akita sniffed deeply. “There's been a few people in here today. But one of them is the same one as outside.” He glanced around the store. “Plenty of smells in here.” He glanced at the corner, then down at Grimbledung. “Can't tell if it's a repeat customer or just someone passing through.” He smirked. “I heard that lots of people come in here on a daily basis.”

  Drimblerod moved back to his partner. “Poor Grimbledung” He looked down. Something didn't look right. “That's odd.”

  Akita poked around the showroom of the store. “What's that?”

  “I could have sworn that thing was sticking further into him just a moment ago.”

  “Prolly was,” Akita muttered. He picked up a piece of window frame and licked it.

  “What?” Drimblerod looked at the Constable.

  “It's not silver.”

  “So?”

  Akita ran his tongue from one side of his mouth to the other. “It's gonna take silver to keep that crazy Gnome down from now on. And only while it’s in him unless it hits him in the heart.”

  “Then what?”

  Akita stared at him. “Then that’s it; end of the story titled Grimbledung. That’s what it’ll take.” He licked his lips “Or maybe a bunch of angry villagers that won’t listen to reason who have also built a really big fire.”

  Drimblerod looked down just as the bolt pushed out the last little bit and clattered to the ground- all six inches of it. “What is going on?”

  Grimbledung sat up suddenly. There was a neat round hole in his jerkin with a ring of blood around it. The skin peeking out from the hole was perfectly smooth. “Gah!”

  Drimblerod hopped backwards. “What in the lands?!”

  “See? Told ya.”

  “Akita!” Grimbledung looked at the Constable. “I'm glad you're here! We've been robbed." He looked down and felt his chest. “And I've been shot!” He looked at Drimblerod. “And we've been robbed!”

  “Ya get a good look at him?”

  “It was a one-armed man!”

  Akita grinned. “A one-armed man got the drop on you?”

  “I don't think he's fully recovered yet,” offered Drimblerod.

  Grimbledung's eyes got large. “Wah.... wah... wah!” He said as he pointed at the window.

  “Yes, Grim; we'll have to get the window fixed,” Drimblerod reassured him." He moved beside his partner. “It's not that big a deal.”

  “Bah... bah... bah!” Said Grimbledung.

  “I don't think he's fully recovered yet,” said Drimblerod again. “Mayhap he needs to lay down for a little bit.”

  “Bah.. bah... BACK!”

  “On your back is fine, I suppose.” Drimblerod patted his shoulder.

  “Gah!” Grimbledung scooted backward.

  Akita looked to his right and raised an eyebrow. “Relax, Grim. I’m sure there’re witnesses that can...”

  “Grimbledung, you're fine. You just need to relax." Drimblerod interrupted as he stood up. “I'll get the stools I just bought so we can all sit down and talk this through nice and calm like.” He turned towards the door. His eyes flew wide and he stumbled back to sit on his butt beside his partner.

  Semfeld was standing there holding a stool. He was also holding a wand.

  Liverioso had the other stool. And a wand as well. Garibaldis’ wand to be exact.

  Neither looked very happy.

  “Bah... bah... bah!” Said Grimbledung.

  Akita gestured toward the door with his snout.

  “Pick up a nervous twitch, Constable?” Chéri seemed to be smiling. And holding two miniature crossbows. Loaded miniature crossbows. Their polished silver bolts gleamed in the light pouring in through the space that once held a window. “Constable Akita Finnish. How nice to see you again…” Began Chéri.

  “Akita?” Asked Liverioso as he looked at the Constable. “ Akita Finnish? By any chance was Spit…”

  Chéri interrupted him: “We’ll go with Drimblerod’s idea. Let's all sit down and talk this through.” She aimed one of the crossbows at Akita. “Brought you something,” she said as she pulled the trigger, sending the miniature silver bolt directly at Akita’s heart.

  Liverioso gaped. “No!” It was too late, though.

  Akita lurched as the

  Never mind.

  The End

  P.S. Fate looked over at the shop, surprised.

  IS Akita shot point blank in the chest with a -lethal- silver bolt?

  Will Chéri and Colossus leave town peacefully when they reunite?

  How certain is Grimbledung’s (delicious) death at the hand of the Elves when they find him?

  FIND OUT in the exciting fourth installment of the Tales From a Second Hand Wand Shoppe- Book 4: A New Hope AVAILABLE NOW on Amazon HERE

  ~~~~~~~

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  If you still haven’t looked at Robert’s web page and are home sick for the day, eat some soup. And them maybe, just maybe hop over here to his Amazon Website.

  If you enjoyed these three books, please take the time to leave reviews for them. If you are so inclined, you can leave reviews for each of the books separately here:

  Review Book 1 on Amazon HERE or on GoodReads HERE.

  Review Book 2 on Amazon HERE or on GoodReads HERE.

  Review Book 3 on Amazon HERE or on GoodReads HERE

  OR- do them all since you read them all! Right? You didn’t start with Book 3, did you??

  About the Author

  Robert P. Wills is still, at the time of this writing, a senior U.S. Army Interrogator, Chief Warrant Officer Four. He is working very hard to be a retired U.S. Army Interrogator, Chief Warrant Officer Four after a nice simple, quiet retirement.

  If you’re rooting for Robert- like his page on Facebook:

  www.facebook.com/RobertPWills

  He is still living in Herrenberg, Germany in a house that is very, very large with his wife of many decades. They soon plan to move to where most all retirees move- Florida! Ki
ssimmee, that is. Swimming pools, movie stars. Well, not that last one, really.

  He plans to continue his writing antics when he settles there, hoping to have book 4 - A New Hope published by late-2014, and work on Books 5- Grimbledung and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good Minee, and 6- It’s the Election, Stupid moving along with publishing dates in early 2016 and late 2016, respectively.

  Unless he is eaten by a shark first.

  Fling of Illustrators

  Robert seems to be gathering a Fling of Illustrators. Yes- they share the same collective as Sandpipers. Obviously.

  Rio Burton (formerly Rio Taylor) is the now-married, original illustrator of the first book in the Tales From a Second-Hand Wand Shop series. She has also lent her skills to Book 3.

  Rio is currently living in Colorado while she and her (also very talented) husband try to figure out the United Kingdom’s absurdly unfair green-card policies.

  In the meanwhile, she is plying her artistic skills on several games, graphic novels, and of course, the Tales series.

  You can see (and purchase?) her art on her own web page:

  www.rioburton.com

  To see her work on The Fairy Tale Games the Battle Royale, hop over to:

  www.thefairytalegames.com

  Nikki Taylor’s outstanding work on book 2 led to the author asking her to once again provide illustrations for the series. And, once again, Nikki’s talent shines through. She has recently moved to a certain author’s home in Florida where she is living rent free within 70 yards of the community pool, hot tub, and fitness center! What a deal, right?

  As of right now Nikki uses Deviant Art for her artwork gallery and sales information. Along with selling (excellent) character illustrations, she is currently working on several flash game designs for an up-and-coming website.