Extol of Agnatic Dreams (The Extol Series Book 1)

by Jennifer R. Kenny

  “Nothing here in Braykith is how we expect.” Evangeline sighed and wondered how much she could say here. There were eyes and ears everywhere in the castle, especially when it came to gossip such as this. The soldiers were supposed to be tight-lipped however Evangeline trusted only one of the four which stood nearby. Less than favourable odds for keeping a secret, so she pressed forward and stayed cryptic. She would explain her new found Dryad heritage at another time. “It is not a secret that I do not fit in, regardless of how I try.”

  “Why do you think that is?” Viviana asked.

  “I suppose it is because I am strange. I like to be outdoors when it is clear to me now that most of the people who live here within the castle prefer to be indoors. I am the opposite to all that they are, and it seems I will never quite fit in as I should. Glais’ rejection of me had set the castle alive with gossip about what is wrong with me.” Evangeline stopped talking to keep her emotions in check.

  Viviana handed her a handkerchief. “What are your suspicions on Glais?” She asked. Viviana did tend to ask the hardest questions, the ones with a calculated answer designed to shed light on the situation instead of allowing the conversation just flow calmly between them.

  She took the offered handkerchief but Evangeline didn’t use it. “I have no suspicions. He has made it quite clear to me that he has an affinity for local women and no interest in even learning about me.”

  Teagan gasped and leant forward. “Have you seen him with other women?”

  From the short distance that separated them, Evangeline and Thomas locked eyes however he offered her nothing. Evangeline was sure to speak as little as she dared in her answer. “Not in the act if that is what you are asking.” Evangeline was sure that Teagan was indeed thinking just that and seemed a little disappointing in the news that it had not been that risqué. “But the women he is with; they do not seem particularly taken with being conservative. They come and go from his quarters at all times of the day and night with no respect for me. It is disgusting and yet no one seems moved to stop it.”

  “Have you tried just coming upon him and throwing yourself at him?” Teagan asked. Evangeline coughed at such a suggestion. Teagan looked at Evangeline to Viviana, who was looking at her with disapproving eyes, but Teagan was sure this was one aspect of relationships where she had the most experience. “I am not trying to be vulgar but Evangeline he is your husband. Technically.” She winced at the suggestion just a little. “A wedding will come to pass.”

  “And on the wedding night, I will do my wifely duties.” Evangeline defended herself.

  “But what is stopping you from doing them now? If Glais has a particular taste, then you must cater to it.” Teagan looked to Viviana for support to the idea but she was quiet for the moment, not sure what she could possibly say to either side of this argument.

  Finally, she did indeed find her voice. “Eva, do nothing you will be ashamed to admit to your mother,” Viviana said that whenever she thought something was a bad idea, and in this instance Evangeline did agree with her. Glais could barely manage to speak with her. She doubted she could convince him to give her a kiss let alone do any more than that. “Although I think Teagan’s advice is terrible…” Teagan stuck her tongue out which was ignored. “I do believe you need to speak with Glais. The problem is between you both and it can only be sorted out by your both.”

  “Oh, I have tried.” Evangeline was quick to point out to her friends that she had not be relaxing since coming to meet Glais. She felt that she had put all her efforts into keeping her relationship. “He avoids me. I feel like he must have spies all over this kingdom so he can be sure to leave before I come close to where he is.” Evangeline sighed.

  “Then you must try harder. If Glais has spies, then so will you. We shall spy on the Prince and report back to you Eva. We will make sure he is cornered.” Teagan offered with a chuckle. The other girls joined her and like that it was as if it was old times again and there was no tension left between them as they all gathered their tea cups.

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  Evangeline had left Viviana and Teagan to get accustomed to their rooms. They were next to each other, a short distance from Evangeline’s own quarters. Although they were modest compared to Evangeline’s living quarters, they were far more elaborate to the rooms they would have been living in back at Crimah. There was quite a difference between being a Lord and being a King, a difference that was felt when you experienced how two men of such lived compared to the other.

  Evangeline was considering Teagan’s advice and while she still did not think that she needed to sleep with Glais to prove that somehow Evangeline was all he needed in his bed, she did need to speak with him. She had been trying to do that for so long, and never seemed to get anywhere on it. Surely they could manage to have a conversation without it turning into an argument. In truth, she found the silence worse than their fights. During a fight, she could still hear him speak, judge his thoughts. The silence was deafening in a way nothing else could be. She was still convinced that the sensitive man she had created in her mind existed in Glais.

  It seemed though to be one of the nights that Glais decided that he would allow Evangeline to find him. He was in the library, just entering the room as she turned the corner. Even the barest of glimpses of him brought a flurry of emotions that would bundle together and become nothing more than a blinding confusion. Often that confusion led to anger but she would do her best to not allow that to happen this time. Evangeline would remain calm, and try to be welcoming even if Glais refused to.

  Pressing the door open, Glais seemed to be waiting for her. Standing by the window, his back to the doors he didn’t bother to turn as she entered. He knew who it was just from the sound of her skirts sweeping the floor, Evangeline’s uncertain footsteps would give her away any place. Evangeline looked around briefly but he was alone. “Am I bothering you?” Evangeline asked.

  “This library is open to all who live here. Do not let me disturb you.” Glais still did not turn to face her, and so she stayed where she was, leaning back against the frame of the door. She wished that she did not enjoy the view but Evangeline would be the first to admit that his physical appearance was something worthy to write poetry about. Not that she would ever do such things, but she thought it often.

  Glais was quite a specimen to look at, not only here in Braykith but also when compared to the men back in Crimah. There were very few men that Evangeline could consider to compare him against, and when she let herself forget how horrible and confused he had made her feel she really did appreciate the strength of his body. “Do you plan to watch me the entire time?” Glais spoke and Evangeline jumped at the sound of his voice.

  Evangeline blushed. “I was hoping that we could talk.”

  Glais turned and shrugged. “I actually have an announcement for you Evangeline.” She couldn’t help but feel victorious in her assumption that he had been waiting for her to turn the corner so that he could be seen entering the library. She wished Glais would naturally come to her instead of playing these games with her. She said nothing and waited for more. “We are to go to the church in town today. To declare our intent on marriage.”

  She was shocked and looked down at the ring he had presented her with when she first got here. “Are you sure that is something you want?” Evangeline asked and Glais froze for a moment before he nodded. That second of hesitation made her heart leap and struggle to find its rhythm again. Glais had reservations about their marriage. While she had always suspected his feelings, it was different to have them confirmed. Evangeline licked her lips and tried to remember the promise she made to herself stay calm. “What should I wear?”

  “What you are currently dressed in is fine. A coat perhaps if you fear the chill. It will be after sunset. We will return to a set banquet. You can change before that if you really feel the need. There will be a small collection of close friends you may feel the need to be impressive to.” Glais seemed far too
automatic and lifeless in his speech.

  She wondered if it was something that he had practised. Evangeline took a step forward and he backed into the window instinctively. She stopped and he was glad she did. Evangeline was a complication he had not been expecting. Her letters made her seem simple, and yes he had always known that she was beautiful but seeing her walk around his castle affected him. He didn’t like the instant desire to protect and keep her. It had never happened before, or since. Regardless of how Glais had tried to recreate that emotional attachment with others.

  “Why now?” Evangeline asked, no longer trying to close the gap between them.

  Glais had no simple answer. There were many reasons why they should declare it now. “It is a tradition. We are to be married within the year and we must declare our intent to the church to ensure there is no one to object.” He was sure to keep his voice emotionless because he did not want her to ever guess at how this wedding did make him feel. In truth, Glais was terrified. Come their wedding night, she would learn more of him than anyone else and that seemed inconceivable. Yet it would come to pass. What was Glais to do if she rejected him? He shuddered to think.

  Evangeline nodded. “Glais, you don’t need to hate me.”

  “You think I hate you?” Glais had asked before his eyebrows lowered and he gave one single barking laugh. “You should hate me. I wouldn’t blame you if you did.” He turned back to looking out the window and closed his eyes to keep himself steady. He listened to the sound of her dress as she moved. He thought she was leaving but instead she was coming closer. “Evangeline, please, can’t you see that by being here that you are making me uncomfortable.”

  Evangeline paused mid-step and she let out a slow breath so she wouldn’t say the things she thought in response to his venom. “We are to be married Glais. If you believe for a moment that I will allow you to continue with those other women once we are wed, you are mistaken. We must learn to be together. We are stronger that way.” Her hand faltered but she did manage to put her hand on his shoulder.

  Glais took her hand, and his touch was gentle, although his hands were cold to the touch. She expected him to brush her off but instead he gave her fingers a gentle squeeze and sighed. Not expecting much more than that she let her hand fall back to her side. “Bring your friends to the church. They will be your bridesmaids I assume?”

  Evangeline had not thought about it but it made sense that Viviana and Teagan would be. “Yes, I suppose so.”

  “Good. I am glad you will have someone to sit with.” His tone was a dismissal, and Evangeline had embarrassed herself enough for one sitting together.

  “And you, will you have someone to sit with?” she asked. Glais frowned and did not answer her because he was confused by her question. “I have noticed that Baxter is not around the castle.” Evangeline went on in hopes of drawing out more answers from him. “Will he be back soon?”

  Glais nodded. “He is briefing with Father. The rebels are not as bright as they thought they could be.”

  She nodded. For a moment, she considered asking on the rebels, but she had nothing to ask. It was not a woman’s place to discuss these matters, and clearly no one had thought it necessary to mention such things before to her. She knew their origins, the men who had lost their homes during a war seeking revenge on those who bested them however she did not think Glais would care to repeat himself.

  She wished that she could keep him speaking. Anything that was too close to their relationship made him colder and harder to drag out of his shell. However, speaking of the rebellion seemed to make him relax and Evangeline could almost believe that he did tolerate her, and perhaps even liked having her around from time to time. Unfortunately, the rebellion and war were not a woman’s topic for conversation.

  So she did what was expected. With his back still her, she curtseyed. “I will see you in a few hours.” She watched him a little longer but when it was clear he had nothing more to say and so Evangeline made her escape. For a day that should have been filled with such love and laughter, she felt drained and sickly. Could she find some way to keep this marriage from happening? These poisonous thoughts invaded her conscious as Evangeline made her escape.

  Glais stayed where he was frozen to the spot as the door gently closed behind her. Glais could only relax when he was certain she was gone. He stayed there not seeing the scenes outside the window even though the greenery over the lawns was not something he thought he could ever tire from. His whole life he had never seen such beauty in Braykith and he knew it was because of her. What other reason could there be for it?

  He listened and knew by the sound of the door that Evangeline was pressed up against it, probably taking a moment to compose herself before she returned to her friends. He was unsure how those two girls would be involved in their future, but now was not the time to worry about them. Almost holding his breath, he listened as her footsteps fell away down the hall. The tension between his shoulders smoothed out and Glais leant his forehead against the cold window.

  His father had insisted on this marriage, had promised him that it would be smooth but Glais was sure every moment they spent together that she was not the mere daughter of a neighbouring Lord. She had thoughts, she witnessed and digested the world. Somehow, her expectations shaped, and, in turn, shaped the world around her. It was unheard of in Glais’ experience.

  Quintus was unshakable in his conviction that this was a good match and still Glais fought against his father’s advice. He supposed he always would, and not for the reasons that Evangeline suspected. Again and again, the king would use his own wife as an example, blind to the truth that Kyleigh did not have the same appreciations for castle life as Evangeline.

  Kyleigh was raised to be a princess. Her childhood was spent in a castle and with soldiers marking her every move. Her ambitions were to marry well and have children, and there was not much more she needed to be happy. Kyleigh was content with the day to day occurrences that came with living in the Braykith castle, impressed still with his father. Evangeline would never be satisfied with such simple things. She deserved better. Glais couldn’t give her that. She would never be impressed by him. Glais could never be enough, that he was certain and it haunted him for hours.

  Sighing, he closed his eyes and concentrating on breathing. Entering the church was always hard for him and his current encounters with Evangeline only made him less excited at the prospect. Glais would need to mentally prepare himself for this exchange.

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  Evangeline found Teagan and Viviana where she left them and was glad they were there. She did mean to tell them about her talk with Glais, proof that she was trying and this impossible union was not her fault but rather Glais seemed intent on pushing her away. However, the news of going to the church to officially declare the upcoming wedding would be a better way to spend their time.

  “Glais has some news for me.” Evangeline waited until Teagan and Viviana had given her their full attention. It took no time at all. Teagan was sitting before a polished mirror, Viviana standing by the closet and admiring the clothes within it. Once she made her announcement, both of them were focused on her entirely. “We are to go to the church in town today and declare our intent to marry.”

  Teagan squealed and quickly rushed to Evangeline to hug her. Viviana stood back but Evangeline never took offence to her reactions. She knew better than to assume that her reaction was how she actually felt. “Oh, what are you going to wear?” Teagan was shaking with the idea of dressing her again as she had always done.

  “Glais said that this was fine.” Evangeline looked down on herself, inspecting the gown that was dark blue. She had been surprised to learn its true colours after first dismissing it as just another black dress. The colour was only noticeable when she brought it into the light. She thought it would look terrible against her pale skin but like everything else that appeared in her rooms, this was perfection. “Perhaps a cloak against the weather.” Although Ev
angeline did not think she would need it.

  “But he has already seen you in this.” Teagan protested.

  “To be honest with you Teagan, I don’t think he actually saw me.” Evangeline looked down at the ground and shrugged. “He wouldn’t even notice if I didn’t get changed, or if I showed up wearing nothing at all.”

  “Oh, he would notice that for sure.” Teagan giggled but neither Viviana or Evangeline joined in. She missed the look they shared.

  “This will be okay, but you can help me get dressed for the feast afterwards,” Evangeline said, heading towards the bed and sat down. She had nowhere else she needed to be and really she needed to have this time to do nothing but listen to Teagan fuss over clothes.

  Evangeline had bought Teagan and Viviana here for their friendship. Now she relied on their old familiar structures more than before however it caused a discomfort within Evangeline as she witnessed Teagan and Viviana talk around her without including her thoughts in the narrative. Evangeline had a new feeling settle in her stomach, and it was a loss of control. Stubbornly she refused to admit to even herself that her whole life had been played pout around her, and with no opportunity to change its course.

  Like they had done for her entire life, Teagan started arranging her clothes and Viviana was preparing the pieces to ensure that it was easier to assemble them on her body. Evangeline felt the sudden clarity that the old comforts was only further loss of control. Evangeline wondered if she had ever made a decision for herself in her life, and sadly Evangeline had only one conclusion.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  Evangeline stood by the carriage doors, looking up at Thomas. He could barely meet her eyes. “Repeat that,” she demanded.