by Gillian Joy
"It hurts."
"I don't care," she replied. "Drink! Then I'll go and get this script filled, and get some ibuprofen, that'll be heaps better for the fever and you'll need some Hydralite to put something back into your system. I can't believe you let yourself get like this."
"I don't want to be like this."
"I'll bet. Rest up and drink, I'll be back soon."
Ash ran through the supermarket and the pharmacy to get back to Hayden as quickly as she could. She wanted to get some soup made for him before she had to pick up the girls and she wanted to get the antibiotics into his system as soon as possible.
Despite his protests, Ash forced the antibiotics and the ibuprofen down Hayden's throat as soon as she got back.
"Hayden, you need someone here looking after you. Who can I call for you?"
"No, I'm fine."
"You're not fine. You need someone looking after you. Who can I call for you?"
"No one Ash, I've got no one." he answered, shaking his head from side to side in reply.
Ash didn't reply, she just kissed his forehead. "Rest. I'll be in the kitchen; we’ll sort it out later."
Ash helped herself to Hayden's kitchen and started pulling the ingredients she had bought at the supermarket out of the bags and started preparing some chicken soup that Hayden would be able to eat for the next few days. As she was going to have to leave soon, she pulled her phone out and made a phone call she was both dreading and looking forward to at the same time.
****
Connor was on his way into the city to meet with the record label executives and present his new song ideas when his phone rang. He checked out the caller id on his dash display when it flashed up and looked at the number in stunned surprise for a moment before he realised that if he didn't answer it quickly he would miss the call. He hit the answer button on his steering wheel.
"Hi Ash." he answered, hoping the excitement he felt didn't come through in his voice.
"Hi Connor," she answered, "listen, I'm with Hayden at the moment. He's really sick, a pretty bad case of the flu I think, but I've got to pick the girls up in an hour and I don't think he should be alone. He wouldn't tell me whom to call to come and look after him and I didn't know who else to call."
"Is he all right?"
"Oh, he'll live, but he's really sick. I've picked up his prescription for him as well as some cold and flu tablets and throat lozenges and bits and pieces, and I'm making some soup but I have to leave in an hour. I can't stay any longer and I don't think it's a good idea to bring the girls back here. I don't want them getting sick too. Can you call someone to come and look after him?"
Connor didn't want to call someone; what he wanted to do was turn his car around and hightail his butt over there and see her for the hour before she left Hayden's. He had a perfect excuse but he knew there was no way he could blow off this meeting without dire consequences. His only option was to call someone else and get them to meet up with Ash instead.
"Yeah okay. I can't come myself but I'll call around and see who can pop over to keep an eye on him."
"Thank you."
"No worries, I'll call you back shortly."
Connor ended the call and took a moment to figure out who would be best to call. Seriously, he wanted to go back there himself. He thought about calling Ruby but knew that with the baby, things were probably hectic enough for her already. He figured it would be far simpler for Deb to leave the kids with Matt and pop over for a while, and he might even be able to get her to have a quick chat with Ash and put in a good word for him as well. Obviously Hayden's Mum would have been the best option, if she wasn't on an overseas holiday with his parents, so making a decision he called up Deb.
"Hey, Connor." she answered.
"Hi Sis."
"What can I do you for?"
"A bit of a favour, are you busy?"
"What do you need?"
"For you to pop over to Hayden's and keep an eye on him for a bit. Ash called me and apparently he's pretty sick.”
"Really?" she asked, instantly concerned.
"Yeah, he's got the flu according to Ash. She's there at the moment but has to pick up the girls in an hour and doesn't want to leave him alone. She didn't know who to call."
"So she just happened to have your number? Hmmmm."
"I messaged her some photos while we were canoeing. Trust me. I was extremely surprised she called."
"Yeah I'll bet." she chuckled. "I'm surprised you even answered. Didn't you already get what you wanted?"
"Not funny Deb. Can you go over or not?"
"Sure. I'll head over in ten minutes."
After her last comment Connor wasn't sure if he should mention his thoughts about her putting in a good word for him with Ash.
"I want to see her again Deb but she's not interested." he blurted out before he could change his mind.
"What?" Deb said, unable to disguise the surprise in her voice.
"She doesn't date, it's not a line; it is a lifestyle choice apparently.... Deb, I really want to see her again, but..."
"Connor... Why don't you go over then?"
"Trust me I want to, but I'm on my way in to meet with the executives now. I'm really struggling to not turn around."
"You can't do that Connor. I'll have a word with her while I'm there, I'll suss her out for you."
"Thanks sis, I'd appreciate it."
****
Ash had just finished making the soup when Deb got there. Hayden was still sleeping. Deb walked straight into the kitchen where Ash was finishing up.
"Hi Ash, didn't expect to see you again quite so soon."
Ash smiled as they hugged. "Yeah I know. It was a good thing I came to see what his problem was though. He couldn't even get out of bed to pick up his script he's so sick."
"Not just man flu?"
"No. This is the real deal. I'd stay with him but I've got to pick the girls up."
"No worries." Deb said. "I've got him. What made you come over? None of us even thought to check on him."
"I needed to talk to him but I thought he was just ignoring me. He's been pissed at me because of what happened with Connor over the weekend and I just wanted to clear the air and figure out what his problem was. Did you know he actually punched Connor?"
"What? No! I didn't hear anything about that, but then I haven't spoken to anybody since the weekend." Deb wasn't surprised that the two boys had a fight, that was a fairly common occurrence for them, but she was surprised it could have eventuated from anything that happened on the weekend. "Why would Hayden be fighting with Connor?"
"That's what I came here to find out. In the two sentences he spoke to me on the way home on Monday, he said he couldn't bear to see me get hurt. He doesn't seem to understand that I'm a grown woman who is perfectly capable of making my own decisions."
"Ash, Hayden really cares for you. It was apparent to us all over the weekend. And Connor seems to be following down the same path if you catch my meaning."
Deb saw the brief glint of relief in Ash's eyes.
Ash shook her head in denial though. "No! We both got what we wanted from the weekend. That's the end of it."
"Come on. I saw that glint. You still want him."
"What my body thinks it wants, and what my mind knows my life needs are two different things Deb, I don't do relationships."
"What if your body and your mind want the same thing though? Come on. I can see you struggling with it."
"Doesn't matter; I won't do it. I won't go there again."
Deb was worried about what was going on in Ash’s head. She could see the conflicting thoughts and emotions ripping at her.
"Ash, honey, you need to re-evaluate your feelings. I'm not going to interfere so I won't say anything more after this. But I'm telling you now: Connor really likes you and believe it or not, he's one of the good guys. I mean don't get me wrong, aside from Ariane, I don't think he's ever seen any girl more than once, or if he has then we've neve
r met her. But despite that fact, and the fact that you keep trying to convince yourself you don't want anything more to do with him, I think you should give it a chance. Go out with him once or twice. Have dinner, go see a movie. You know you really want to."
Ash shook her head in denial as she looked at her watch.
"Damn, I've got to run. You've got him right? I'll call in tomorrow after work."
"I've got him. But just think about what I said, okay?"
Ash grabbed her keys off the bench. "I will, see you later." she called, racing out of the door. Of course she'd think about it. It was all she had been thinking about all week. It was keeping her awake at night, the longing to be curled up beside his body. Waking in the morning and hoping she'd roll over and feel his body pressed beside her. Coming home from work and imagining he'd be waiting for her. She was going to drive herself insane thinking about him. Things had never been like that with Mark. He had wormed his way slowly into her life until he became a piece of her. But she had never craved him the way she craved Connor. She had never craved anybody the way she craved Connor, and that thought terrified her.
****
Connor called over to Hayden's place on his way back home. It was late, but the meeting had gone really well. The record label execs were more than impressed with the proposed new album and they had all discussed it at length. He knew Ash would be long gone by the time he got to Hayden's place but he wanted to check in with Deb anyway, and he liked the idea of going somewhere he knew she had just been.
Deb was on the couch in front of the TV, watching some police forensic show. He had no idea which one, there were so many of them on the TV and be damned if he could tell them apart.
"How'd it go?" he asked, as Deb turned the TV down.
He was referring to Ash but wasn't really surprised when she answered in reference to Hayden.
"He's sleeping at the moment, damn he's sick Connor. I've organised with Matt so I can stay here the night, he's not happy about having to organise the kids for school in the morning though. Hopefully Hayden will be a bit better by tomorrow, he's had a couple of doses of the antibiotics now and I'll make sure he gets another one tonight."
"Do you want me to stay instead?"
"Nah, it's all good. I'm here now and Matt's organised. How'd you go with the record label?"
"Good, they loved the new songs, really loved them, we start recording next week."
"That'll keep you busy. One song had you tied up for days, how many more are there?"
"Another nine to complete the album."
"Wow, how long will that take?"
Connor shrugged. "However long it takes. Did you see Ash before she left? "
"Yeah." Deb said but didn't elaborate.
"And...?" Connor pressed.
"And I don't know what to tell you, her ex must have really done a number on her."
"So she's not interested?"
"Listen Connor, I can tell she really likes you, but she's too screwed in the head to even admit it to herself."
"Yeah great." Connor said, shoulders slumping. He figured he was in for a long week and a half before recording started, a hell of a long week sitting around thinking about Ash. "I'm going to go if you're good?"
"Connor, don't give up yet. If you like her; take some time, get to know her and build on it from there."
"It's kind of hard to get to know her if she won't even see me Deb."
"Patience, dear brother of mine. Patience." Deb said, as her brain set about devising ways to get the two of them to meet up.
"So what happened between you and Hayden on the weekend? Some sort of punch up, I heard."
Connor shook his head in exasperation.
"I don't even know; he sucker-punched me Monday morning. He knew Ash spent the night with me and he was shitty about it. I was as surprised as anybody."
"He thinks you're going to hurt her."
"Well, she's the one who's hurting me at the moment."
"I can see that. You look like shit."
"Yeah and I feel like it too."
"Chin up Connor, I'll work on her for you. Will you pop over tomorrow and check on Hayden?"
"Sure thing. It's not like I'll be out on a date with a hot blonde or anything."
"Cool. I'll call you tomorrow when I'm leaving then." Deb replied, ignoring his sarcasm.
"Alright sis. See you later." Connor said as he bent down and gave his sister a hug and kiss goodbye before closing the door behind him on the way out.
****
Chapter 12
Connor arrived at Hayden's place at lunch time to find his cousin sitting at the breakfast bar eating a big bowl of soup.
"How are you feeling?" he asked cautiously, not quite wanting to get too close in case he was still angry, or he caught whatever Hayden had.
Hayden took one look at Connor and realised something was wrong with him.
"Heaps better Cuz; are you sick too? Try some of this soup Ash made, it's amazing."
Connor flinched at the mention of Ash's name.
"Or not, are you okay? I'm sorry I punched you. I know you won't deliberately hurt her. I really care about her that's all, but she's right. She's a grown woman who can make up her own mind and make her own decisions. I can't begrudge her having a good time if she wants it."
"Have you spoke to her about it yet?"
"No, I was a bit out of it yesterday when she was here, I couldn't even talk."
"Yeah I called over last night while Deb was here. You were out of it then too."
"Really? I didn't even notice."
"No it was pretty late. I was on my way home from the meeting with the record execs."
"Yeah? Didn't go well, is that why you look like shit?"
"No, it went great. I start in the recording studio next week."
"Awesome! So you got all the new songs finished? I thought you weren't going to get them done in time. Is that why you look like shit then?"
"Yeah, something like that."
"How did you get them done so quickly?"
"Inspiration!"
Hayden stopped eating and looked at Connor. "Ash."
"Yeah."
"Good inspiration or bad?"
"Isn't all inspiration good?"
"Well, she inspires me but it's not necessarily good. Can I see the new songs?"
"Then we're in the same place Cuz. At least she'll see you though." Connor replied as he pulled the sheet music for the new songs out of his bag and handed them over.
"You know this is gibberish to me right?" Hayden questioned.
Connor snatched the sheets back and sung a few lines of one of his favourites while tapping out a rough beat on the table.
Hayden sat listening quietly and really studied Connor while he sang, lost in his words, the song was a beautiful haunted ballad, so different from the current tune. It was amazing. When Connor stopped singing Hayden smiled at him. "You're in love with her." he stated, it wasn't a question.
"What? No! I don't even know her." Connor stammered in reply.
Hayden laughed. "Oh man. I thought I had it bad. Shit damn, that song is just... You got it really bad, Cuz."
Connor shook his head in denial.
"I'm not in love, you numb nuts. I do like her though, but I don't know how to get her to see me again. She's not interested."
"Sex or friendship, nothing in between." Hayden confirmed.
"Deb reckons she likes me, but that's not going to help because of that idiot ex of hers. I should have followed your example, friendship only, at least that way I could still see her, even if it was with a constant hard on. Then I could have made her fall for me in time. I can make anybody fall for me."
Hayden laughed again, then groaned and clutched at his throat. "Please stop making me laugh. It still really hurts, but for the record, even though I hate to admit it, even I could see she really likes you too."
"Still doesn't help me though."
"Get some soup, then we'll work o
n a plan."
"You'll help me?"
"I guess. I might like her, but you love her and any blind Freddie can see that she likes you; you win. But so help me Connor, if this is some sort of ruse, and you hurt her, the consequences will be both physically and emotionally painful for you.
"I don't love her Hayden, I can't love her; I don't even know her."
Hayden looked at his cousin with raised eyebrows.
"But I really do want to get to know her."
****
Hayden's head was pounding by the time Connor left. They had a bit of a plan formulated. It wasn't much but at least it was something; enough to give Connor a bit of a smile on his face when he left. Hayden's upcoming birthday would at least get them in the same room at the same time. Ash wouldn't be able to turn down an invitation to his birthday, but once they were in the same room together it would all be up to Connor.
Hayden went back to his room and grabbed a couple of painkillers as well as his antibiotics. There was no way he was going to risk slipping back to where he was yesterday, that was too painful even for words. He wasn't overly happy about conceding defeat to his cousin, but what else was he going to do, it was obvious to anyone they were all about each other and he figured it was better to bow out sooner, rather than loose in a fiery blaze down the track. He pulled out his phone and texted Ash.
THANK U 4 YESTERDAY.
YOU'RE WELCOME, ANYTIME.
CAN YOU CALL OVER 2NITE SO WE CAN TALK?
FINISH WORK IN HALF HR. CAN COME BY THEN B4 I GET THE GIRLS.
:) C U THEN
He felt better about being able to make amends with her, and helping her and Connor make things work was the right thing to do, but it didn't make him want her any less.
****
Ash knocked on Hayden’s door less than an hour later. This time he managed to open it without collapsing against it.
"Hey." he said, gesturing her inside.
"Well, you look better already." Ash commented as she walked straight onto his living room and sat down on the couch, picking up one of the cushions and sitting it on her knee.