by Gillian Joy
"I feel heaps better. Thank you, Ash. I'd still be dying if it wasn't for you."
"I already told you you're welcome. Why didn't you call me though? You know I'd always help you Hayden."
"I did think about it when I couldn't get to the chemist after the doctors, but then I thought about how I treated you last weekend and decided it would probably be better not to."
"I wouldn't have minded Hayden, I might have given you a bit of shit about it, but I wouldn't have minded."
"I know you wouldn't, but listen, about the weekend. I really am sorry. I was an arse. You didn't deserve that."
"No I didn't.... but I'll happily forgive you, though I need you to explain why?"
"I worry about you Ash. I know what Connor’s like and I don't want to see you get hurt. He doesn't do relationships, he's a love 'em and leave 'em kind of guy and I don't want that for you."
"But that's exactly what I want Hayden. That's all I wanted out of it. I got what I wanted, no more and no less."
"Then why do you look like you want to cry?" He noticed the look in her eyes, the fear and confusion, the longing.
Ash shook her head in denial.
"I'm fine Hayden."
"No you're not. Come here." he said, opening his arms to her.
"I'm not coming near you. You're all germy."
Hayden raised his eyebrows quizzically.
"It's not the hug I don't want; just the germs." She smiled, but he knew it was a false smile. It didn't reach her eyes.
"Ash, honestly. Connor is my cousin, he's my best friend; we are as close as any two people can be. Closer than brothers because we never actually had to live together and I love him to death. But I'll hurt him painfully before I'll let him do anything to hurt you. In case you haven't figured it out yet; I really care about you, painfully so. It tears me up inside whenever I think about what that arsehole did to you, and I won't let anybody else hurt you ever. So whatever you need from Connor, I've got your back."
Ash was gobsmacked, she couldn't even reply, could only nod. She knew Hayden cared about her, but she had no idea how much. He had her back, whichever way she wanted to go, and as much as she was conflicted about the feelings she had for Connor, she knew there was no way she could have any more contact with him.
****
The evening only served to convince Hayden that Ash was definitely more than mildly interested in Connor. He knew he had to action the plan he and Connor had devised, and even though he was sure Ash was going to be annoyed with him when she found out, he was equally sure she'd thank him for it in the long run.
"So I'm having a get together for my birthday. It’s in two weeks’ time, can you organise a sitter for the girls?"
Ash shook her head in reply. "I can't Hayden."
"Can’t organise a sitter, or don't want to come to a party for my birthday? I'll be thirty-eight Ash; you've got to come. It won't be a big affair, a few family members, friends and a couple of people from work. I'll be offended if you don't make it." Ash slapped him playfully while Hayden secretly hoped they had enough time to pull off a short notice party.
"I don't want to see him Hayden."
"That's all right because he won't be here. He already told me he can't make it. His new album comes out the week after and he'll be busy in meetings and finalising details with the executives. He's taking me out for a dinner next weekend to make up for it if you want to come?"
"I'll definitely pass on that, but I'll see if I can organise a sitter. Friday night or Saturday night?"
"Saturday." He hoped. He was flying by the seat of his pants and hoping everything played out the way they had planned.
"I think Christian and Marianne are away that weekend so I'll have to see if Chloe is free to watch them, but it won't be a late one."
"That's okay, so long as you show."
"I'll let you know." Ash chuckled. "When will you be back at work?"
"I should be right by tomorrow. I'm heaps better today. Are you in tomorrow?"
"Yep, my usual shift."
"Have lunch with me?"
"If you make it. Your shout."
"It's always my shout."
"Hey, I'm happy with a vegemite sandwich. You want to eat lunch out, you shout. Simple."
"Alright, alright. I get it."
Ash fidgeted nervously for a moment. "So we're good?"
"Yeah, we're real good." Hayden smiled.
****
Chapter 13
Hayden was running around his kitchen like a chook with its head cut off when his phone started buzzing in his pocket. He swore to himself as he dropped the open packet of chips all over the floor while he fumbled to pull his phone out of his pocket, chips scattering everywhere.
"What?" he answered abruptly.
"Are you all right Cuz?" Connor asked over the phone.
"No I'm not! Why aren't you here helping me? You know I hate organising parties. Argh! Why am I even having this stupid thing?"
"I'd offer to come and help, but I thought you wanted me to wait until things are in full swing before showing up.”
"Yeah I do. I still think that'll be best. But it doesn't mean I like it. This is all your fault anyway you know."
"I know! I'm sorry, where's Deb though? I thought she'd taken over? Wasn't she organising everything for you?"
"Yeah she was, but she's running late. She got caught up with the kids, and Matt got caught at work so she's got to deal with it and I've got to deal with this. She'll be here in about an hour but that's only half an hour before everybody else gets here and not enough time to organise everything. So here I am."
"There you are."
"Don't patronise me Connor, I'm doing this for you, and I'm not in the mood for it. I can't believe I'm doing this for you. What am I doing this for again? Oh yes, helping you get together with the woman I love."
"You don't love her Hayden; you don't do love remember."
"Neither do you."
"No; neither do I." Connor replied softly as he drifted off into his own thoughts about Ash.
There was a knock at the door, causing Hayden to again drop the chips he had just finished picking up while he was talking to Connor and his phone. He swore again before swiping his phone up off the floor.
"Got to go, there's someone at the front door."
"Already?"
"Apparently."
"What time do you want me to come?"
"About nine thirty, should be safe. She said she'll be here about eight but she won't have been able to come up with an excuse to leave before then."
"All right see you then."
"Good luck Cuz." Hayden said as he swung the front door open, pressing the end button on his phone.
Hayden stood there, his mouth opening in surprise as he took in Ash standing on the other side.
"I hope I'm not over-dressed." she said, looking slightly uncomfortable.
Hayden stood back and gestured for her to come in as he shook his head. Under dressed is more like it, he thought to himself as he admired the amazing purple number she was wearing. The halter neck style cupping and displaying her ample cleavage and the short flowing skirt showcasing her soft thighs, it wasn't so short as to be indecent, but it was close, and she looked absolutely gorgeous.
Eventually, Hayden found his voice.
"Ash, you look stunning." He said honestly.
"Really? I was worried it might be a bit over the top."
"Oh no. Not at all. You look gorgeous, absolutely beautiful."
"Thank you."
He shook his head, "What are you even doing here. I thought you weren't coming until eight?"
"I wasn't, but I got a call from Deb about an hour ago, who explained that she was supposed to be here to help you set up, but had some sort of emergency with the kids and couldn't make it and asked if it would be at all possible for me to get here early. So I called Chloe, who as it turned out, could make it over earlier. So here I am, saving your arse again."
"You are an absolute lifesaver." Hayden said fervently as he pulled Ash towards him and hugged her close. "Thank you so much, I was about to call this whole thing off. I have no idea why I even let Deb talk me into this. I hate parties."
Ash chuckled. "Come on," she said, pulling him back towards the kitchen. "Let's get this happening shall we, and you owe me twenty bucks."
"What for?"
"Extra babysitting time. What else?"
Hayden chuckled and shook his head.
"What on earth happened here?" Ash asked as she surveyed the mess Hayden had left in the kitchen.
It wasn't just the packet of chips that was still spilled all over the floor. It was the open packets lying all over the benches, the empty bowls and plates scattered from one end of the kitchen table to the other. The shopping bags in various states of fullness sat on the floor, the chopping boards at the ready with nothing on them apart from a knife.
The disorder was pure chaos and Ash didn't even know where to begin. She put her fingers to her temples and rubbed, sighing.
"Is it that bad?"
"Damn Hayden, how did I ever get talked into this?" She sighed again and took in Hayden's stricken face before smiling at him. "Come on boy. Let's get this shit organised so you can get showered and ready for your party guests."
An hour later, with the table organised neatly with bowls of party food: Chips and dips and crackers and cheeses, the doorbell rang as Hayden was jumping in the shower.
Ash opened the door and let Deb and Matt in. She hugged them both in greeting as they walked in the door.
"I am so, so, sorry for dumping this on you Ash. Was it as bad as I imagined it might be?" Deb said as she stepped back and surveyed the organised unit. "Damn, you've done good girl."
"It was much, much worse than you explained." Ash said. "He literally had chips all over the floor, but as you can see..." she said, panning her arm palm up across the room. "I got there. He's just showering and then we're good to go."
Ash was sitting on the couch, beer in hand, talking quietly to Deb when Hayden emerged from the shower, fully dressed and cleanly shaven.
"Looking good." Ash commented, glancing admiringly at him.
Hayden smiled at her in return and then turned his attention to Deb.
"You! I have no idea why I let you talk me into this."
"Because you love your cousin." She smiled sweetly at him and winked.
Hayden grumbled and turned to leave.
"You have to admit. I did good though!" She added.
Hayden turned back, pissed. "Actually, no. Ash did good."
Deb blew him a kiss as he turned away again and stormed off this time.
"I think he's pissed at me." Deb said to Ash giggling.
"He doesn't like parties much, does he? I've never known him to have one before."
"No he doesn't. I talked him into it, but I don't think he's happy." She giggled again.
****
Connor stood outside of Hayden's apartment building, debating whether or not he should actually go in. What if she hadn't shown up? What if she took one look at him and ran as fast as she could in the opposite direction? What if she saw him before he saw her and she took off without him even seeing her? What if she screamed at him to stay away from her? What if...? It was time for him to suck it up and get in there. Aside from the fact that Hayden and Deb would both kill him if he chickened out and was a no show tonight, he was never going to make any progress with Ash if he didn't see her. Besides, what was his problem anyway? She was just a woman.
The last two weeks had been hell, he'd had nothing to do until the last three days and he'd been going insane with boredom, his mind constantly drifting back to Ash. He couldn't wait to see her again.
Connor sucked in a breath and walked up the short flight of stairs to Hayden's apartment, he didn't even bother knocking, what would be the point? He opened the door and walked into the apartment full of people and loud music. He scanned the crowd and realised he already knew most of the people there, most of them were family and close friends, but there were a few unfamiliar faces in the midst as well. It didn't take him long to spot Ash across the room though, she was absolutely stunning, standing behind the couch talking to a young guy he definitely didn't recognise.
Connor, about to storm across the room and drag her away, felt a firm hand on his shoulder.
"Not a good idea at all Cuz." Hayden said quietly into his ear.
"Do you know that jerk?"
"Yeah. He's one of the kids from work, but if you go over there and act all jealous and domineering she's going to kick your butt and walk away. However, I can tell you now, that she is incredibly uncomfortable in his presence and if you were to say, casually rescue her... Well, she might feel indebted to you instead."
Connor nodded. "Her knight in shining armour."
"Exactly."
"Okay, I can do that." He said quickly. "How do I do that?" he added, slightly panicked.
"Come on Connor. Is your brain turning to mush? I'm sure you can figure it out."
Argh...! Connor thought to himself as Hayden patted him on the back and walked off. Connor headed to the kitchen to grab a beer out of the fridge while he contemplated how he could rescue Ash.
With a smile he grabbed two instead, a plan already formulating in his head. He opened both the beers and headed in her direction.
****
Ash was frustrated, but there was no way she would be rude enough to tell Cooper where to go and walk off. She wasn't that kind of person, as much as she really would like to be at that point in time. She glanced around the room furtively, looking for someone who could come to her rescue.
Hayden was walking in her direction but she was suddenly distracted by the mop of blonde hair that disappeared into the kitchen. Surely not. Hayden had promised her he wasn't going to be here. She'd kill him if he'd lied to her, she'd never speak to him again.
She looked back towards Hayden but he'd stopped to talk to Blake. He glanced in her direction, she glared at him, begging with her eyes for him to come and rescue her from the big bad Cooper but he just smiled at her and turned back to Blake. Arsehole, he knew she didn't like Cooper; he was sleazy and always made her uncomfortable, even at work. Ash turned her attention back to Cooper, cursing Hayden silently; after all she had done for him this afternoon.
"Hi Ash."
She was trying to follow Cooper’s conversation while she came up with a polite way to excuse herself when she heard his voice behind her. She turned slowly and her insides turned to liquid fire at the sight of him, the sound of his voice already had her quaking only seconds before. No wonder he was such a great singer, with a voice like that.
"Connor. Hi." She replied, torn between continuing her conversation with Cooper and using Connor as an excuse to get away from him. As much as she wanted to avoid Connor, at least he didn't make her uncomfortable. In fact, he made her feel extremely comfortable.
"I didn't know you were coming?"
"I wasn't supposed to. I've been really busy but I had to squeeze in a quick visit. I can't hang around long though."
"Really, that's a shame." Ash was disappointed she wouldn't be able to use Connor as an excuse to escape Cooper after all.
Connor held the extra beer up to Ash with a smile. "Catch up over a quick drink before I've got to go?"
Ash smiled back. "Sure. Cooper will you excuse me for a bit?" She said, taking Connor by the hand and walking towards the balcony without even waiting for Cooper's reply. Cooper stood dumbfounded as he watched them walk off.
There were a couple of people out on the balcony, but it wasn't too crowded. Ash led Connor towards the edge.
"Thank you," She said. "For that. I appreciate the rescue."
"You're welcome. It will only cost you a really short date. Next Friday. Dinner."
"Connor, I made my feelings perfectly clear." she said with a quick shake of her head.
"No you made your wishes perfectly clea
r. I think your feelings are very different. But I can always let blondie in there know where you are if you want me to leave."
"You wouldn't dare." Ash hissed.
"Umm, actually yeah I would. At least I know you won't leave with him." He said, raising his eyebrows.
"I'm not leaving with anybody. I'm going straight home to the girls when I leave here."
"Now I don't know whether to be relieved or disappointed."
Ash didn't answer; they stood silently for a few moments. Ash took a sip of her beer.
"Seriously! Dinner Friday."
Ash shook her head. "I can't Connor."
"I'm not taking no for an answer Ash."
She still shook her head.
"Alright, truth time. I really like you Ash, more than I can ever recall liking any woman. We have some sort of connection." Ash went to interrupt but Connor raised his hand, stopping her.
"If you really don't like me, and are only avoiding me for that reason, then fine, I'll walk away right now and only see you in the capacity of Hayden's friend. But -- and I emphasise the but -- only if you honestly, really, don't like me at all."
Ash sighed, she was torn. She'd never been really good at lying, and she didn't want to not see him. In fact, she really wanted to take him back to her place after the party, not that that was going to happen when she had the girls to think about. She shook her head.
"You can't lie to me Ash. I don't think you could lie to anybody."
She shook her head again, while she thought about it. Could it hurt really, to go on one date? She hadn't actually been able to stop thinking about him. She had lain in bed every night remembering his lips, his hands and his sexy sultry voice; rehashing the day on the lake, the night after the dinner, even remembering the run. He's not going to start treating me like Mark, she thought. But then Mark didn't treat her like that to begin with either, she countered.
"I understand that ex of yours has really messed with your head. Give me a chance Ash. One date, that's all I'm asking for. I promise you I won't ever treat you like that, I won't ever treat you any less than you deserve."
He reached out and touched her arm, sparks tingling at the tips of his fingers, it was far too enjoyable for him to even think about removing it.