Not Your Match

by Lindzee Armstrong

“When we first met, I was kind of a player. I was all about the chase, and once I caught the girl, I quickly lost interest. When Brooke didn’t return my feelings, I kept pretending to be the player so she wouldn’t see how much it stung.”

  “But you’re not a player. Not anymore.” She smirked. He hadn’t hit on her even once.

  “How do I show her that I’ve changed? How do I convince her I’m worth taking a risk? I don’t think she loves me enough to leave him.”

  “There has to be something you can do to convince her. A grand gesture or something, like I told you on our first date.”

  Luke held out his hands, palms up. “Do you have any ideas? Because I’m fresh out of them.”

  Andi shoved the rest of the pretzel in her mouth, chewing. “Is there something from your past that’s especially meaningful? Maybe the moment you first realized you were falling for her?”

  His eyes lightened, and he nodded. “I know exactly what to do.”

  “Tell me about that.”

  So Luke told her about the winter dance in high school, where he had told Brooke he wanted to be more than friends and she’d shot him down. Slowly they worked on a plan to recreate that winter formal so Luke could propose. Andi watched Luke’s face as he talked, animatedly recalling details that would bring the dance to life.

  He really loved Brooke. He knew there was a high possibility that she would turn him down, and their friendship would be ruined. But to him, it was worth it.

  Andi smiled. “Not too shabby, Mr. Ryder.”

  “Do you think it will work?”

  Andi sat back in her chair, relishing the softness of the cushions. “It’d work for me.”

  “What would work for Ben? You haven’t mentioned him tonight. How are things going?”

  Andi sighed. “I think we had a fight.”

  “You think?”

  “We haven’t really talked in a few days so I’m not sure.”

  Luke smiled encouragingly. “Tell me about it.”

  Maybe if she talked about it, she could make sense of what had happened. “We had our first dance class this week at Footsteps for Change. It was perfect.” Her mind floated back to Tuesday, when Ben had held her in his arms and she had been putty in his hands. “But then Elle—that’s my friend who works there—brought up our first date, and Ben gave me the cold shoulder.”

  “Have you told him how you feel?”

  Andi barked a laugh. “No. I’m not even sure how I feel myself.” Andi ran a hand through her hair. “It’s complicated. His ex-fiancée is trying to win him back, and Rachel would flip if she thought there was anything between Ben and I. Which there isn’t. We’re just friends.”

  “Yeah, I can tell you totally believe that.”

  “I can’t let it go beyond friendship. I’m not ready to deal with his baggage, and I’m not interested in another relationship.”

  Luke fell quiet, and Andi turned her focus to the crowds below. It was kind of fun being in the box and having a bird’s-eye view of most of the spectators. There was a couple fighting. The girl had her arms folded and her lips turned down in a frown, while the guy waved his arms wildly while speaking. There was a little boy clutching a miniature basketball, his eyes wide with excitement as he held his daddy’s hand.

  Andi’s eyes landed on a woman in jeans and a long sleeved tee, with large hooped earrings and strawberry blonde hair streaked with caramel. The girl glanced up, and Andi gasped.

  “What?” Luke asked.

  Andi pointed to the woman who climbed the stairs to her seat. “That’s Whitney.”

  “The ex-fiancée?”

  “One in the same.”

  “What’s she doing here?”

  And that’s when Andi saw him. His lips were pulled together tight, his hands stuck in his pockets and his shoulders hunched.

  “I think she’s here with Ben.”

  Ben had never before dreaded a basketball game, but he supposed there was a first time for everything. Whitney disappeared upstairs to change and Rachel conveniently went with her, probably to avoid an argument with Ben over how she’d meddled in his love life once again.

  When Whitney came back downstairs, she wore dark denim jeans that hugged her curves and a long-sleeved blouse in a deep maroon. He’d always told her how much he loved her in that color. Black boots peaked out the bottom of her jeans, adding a few inches to her height. She’d always worn heels when they were together so he could more easily kiss her. The scent of jasmine surrounded him, subtle but so Whitney.

  Anger flared, and Ben tamped it back. His goal for tonight was to make sure Whitney stayed safe, not to discuss their past relationship. And there definitely would not be a kiss.

  Whitney glanced at her watch. “There’s time to stop by your condo if you want to change first.”

  Ben snorted. He wasn’t about to show her where he lived. At least Rachel had kept some of his secrets. “I don’t need to change,” he said. The jeans and shirt he had on were fine. “Let’s go.”

  Ben didn’t hold the door for Whitney while she got in the car, and drove off as soon as she’d buckled her seatbelt. He kept his lips sealed tight, unwilling to start a conversation. They had nothing to talk about.

  “My parents told me you got a new job,” Whitney said.

  Ben grunted.

  “A charter school?” she pressed. “That’ll be great for you. A little more freedom with the curriculum, and probably more money for labs.”

  He didn’t respond. He wasn’t about to make this easy for her.

  “And Rachel said you have a new condo. She said it’s small, but nice. I’d love to see it sometime.”

  Ben clenched the steering wheel, his knuckles white. “Just stop.”

  “Stop what?” He heard the innocent confusion in her voice, even if he refused to look at her face.

  “Stop acting like everything’s normal. Stop acting like we’re still a couple and this is just another date.”

  She drummed her fingers against her thigh. “Then why did you agree to come with me?”

  “Because I was worried about you!” The words exploded out of him, more truthful than he wanted them to be.

  “Why?”

  “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because you almost broke your neck trying to decorate tonight.”

  “Please. I was fine.”

  “You were being reckless. If you really are seeing an herbalist—and I seriously doubt that—it isn’t working. You need to get back on your medication before you do something stupid and get yourself killed.”

  “It isn’t up to you to make my medical decisions.” Whitney’s voice was high and pinched, barely grasping at the threads of control. It only further confirmed Ben’s suspicions. When Whitney was on her medications, she was never defensive about her mental health.

  “Not anymore, maybe. But I definitely should’ve had a say in the four years we were together.”

  “And what about me, Ben? You never took what I wanted into consideration. If you really, truly loved me, you’d love all of me.”

  Ben growled, cutting off a car as he switched lanes. “I did love you. I loved you enough to do everything in my power to help you. Four years, Whitney! I spent four years of my life dedicated to helping you.”

  “You didn’t want to help me, you wanted to fix me. We were fine before you shoved doctor appointments and medication down my throat. If anyone ruined our relationship, it was you.”

  They’d been dating four months when she had her first manic-depressive episode. He’d found her standing on the roof of her apartment building, ready to jump. It had terrified Ben, and he’d taken her to the hospital where she’d been checked into the psych ward. A week later, she left the hospital with a bipolar diagnosis. He’d been too wrapped up in her by that point to consider anything other than sticking around.

  “I saved your life.” Multiple times.

  “Stop trying to play the hero. You turned my life into a nightmare.”

  Ben clenched
his teeth tight, unwilling to be drawn into another one of their spiraling arguments. Being with Whitney again reminded him very clearly why he’d had to leave. “Then why did you come back, Whit? If I ruined your life so much, why are you here?”

  She folded her arms across her chest. Her lips pulled down in a pout and her bottom lip jutted out. “You’re being mean.”

  Ben growled and focused on the congested Los Angeles traffic. It would do no good to defend himself.

  The rest of the drive passed in frigid silence. Ben considered turning on the radio. Then he remembered how vastly different their tastes in music were, and how many arguments they’d gotten into over song selection.

  Somehow, it was a lot easier to remember Whitney’s flaws when she was right in front of him.

  Ben parked in a lot across from the stadium and got out, not bothering to open Whitney’s door. A moment later her hand slipped into his. He glanced over in surprise.

  “I’m sorry,” she said. “We both said things we shouldn’t have. Can we start over?”

  “We aren’t getting back together. I have a new life, and I like it. We can’t have a future together. There’s too much baggage.”

  Whitney smiled sweetly, leaning her head on Ben’s arm. “We never really got to say goodbye. Every relationship needs that closure.”

  “And that’s all tonight will be?”

  She didn’t say anything, just nuzzled her head against his neck. The familiarity of the moment was a punch to the gut, and he was torn between pushing her away and pulling her closer. So he did nothing.

  The dull roar of the stadium was a welcome relief. Ben bypassed the concession stands, ignoring the longing looks Whitney shot the churros. They found their seats and he focused on the players warming up. He’d timed it well, and only a few minutes later the teams lined up for tip-off. Whitney placed a hand on Ben’s arm, but he ignored it and paid attention on the game.

  “Can you believe it’s been a year since we went to the Suns game in Phoenix?” Whitney gave him a brilliant smile. “You felt sick during the last quarter and by the time we made it home, you were throwing up.”

  Ben did remember that. He’d caught some sort of stomach bug and been miserably ill. Whitney had stayed up all night taking care of him. “You took good care of me,” Ben said, his voice gruff. “I don’t know if I ever thanked you for that.”

  “I didn’t mind. That’s what you do for someone you love. You were a good nurse when I was sick, too.”

  Ben chuckled, getting lost in the memories. “I remember the night after the Suns game, I couldn’t sleep because of a fever. So we watched reruns of my favorite crime shows and worked on a puzzle until the sun came up.”

  “I was so frustrated because even sick you got more of that stupid thing put together than I did.”

  He’d loved the way her brow scrunched in frustration when he put another puzzle piece together. She’d pull her lips into an irresistible pout and he’d kiss her frown lines away. Ben took Whitney’s hand in his. “I really loved you, Whit. I would’ve done anything for you.”

  Her expression was earnest and sincere. “We can get that back, Ben. I’m willing to wait, however long it takes. I want to make it right.”

  The buzzer sounded, and Ben pulled his hand away from Whitney and focused on the game. The action was fast-paced and the game close, but Ben was more aware of Whitney beside him, her leg brushing against his every time she shifted, a soft hand resting on his arm.

  Maybe it wasn’t the end for them. Whitney still showed signs of mania, but she also seemed to be controlling it better than she had in the past. Maybe she really was getting help.

  The first quarter ended in a tie, and the teams rushed to the side of the court for a huddle. Ben clapped along with the crowd, the rush of the game making him exuberant. Whitney had even cheered and gasped at the appropriate moments, paying attention to the game instead of her phone for once.

  The jumbotron went black, then flicked on a moment later, displaying the crowd instead of the court. A heart framed a couple and the words “kiss cam” scrolled across the top.

  “Oh, I love this.” Whitney rested her head on his shoulder, nuzzling close. An uncomfortable pit formed in Ben’s stomach, and he shifted in his chair.

  An elderly couple shared a sweet kiss and the crowd let out a collective aw. An obviously drunk couple gave each other a long, sloppy kiss while people hooted and cat-called.

  And then the camera was on him and Whitney.

  She turned to him, her eyes sparkling dangerously. But this time it was the sparkle that excited him. She leaned forward, and he pulled her to him. Her lips fell on his, soft and warm, just like he remembered. The kiss was as familiar as breathing, and Ben let himself respond.

  Nothing.

  He pulled her closer, pressing his lips more firmly on hers. He waited for that spark, the excitement that always filled him when his lips caressed hers.

  Nothing.

  He pulled back, dropping his arms from around her. Whitney stared at him, her gray eyes dark with confusion. Ben looked away, focusing on the kiss cam. A father sweetly kissed his young daughter on the cheek. A middle-aged couple shared a quick peck.

  Things truly had changed between him and Whitney. Awe swept through him at the realization. The kiss had been pleasant. Nice, even. But it wasn’t like before.

  He still cared for Whitney. Was concerned for her health.

  But he didn’t love her anymore.

  During the kiss, all he could think about was Andi.

  “What was that?” Whitney hissed.

  Ben looked away, unable to take the accusation in her eyes. “What do you mean?”

  “That kiss.” She spit the words with a venom that was all too familiar. Her eyes blazed with fury. “It was like you were kissing your sister. There’s someone else, isn’t there?”

  Andi. But while his feelings for her were deep, and they had shared some moments, that was all their relationship was. “Of course not. We’ve only been broken up a month and a half.”

  “I can’t believe this.” Whitney rose, forcing her way past the legs of the others in the row.

  Ben stood and quickly followed her, his heart now racing. He tripped over a woman’s legs and murmured a quick apology, desperate to stay close to Whitney.

  He shouldn’t have kissed her. He’d pulled the pin in a grenade and now it would explode.

  “Rachel said you’d be happy to see me.” Whitney’s voice was thick with tears.

  “Slow down,” Ben pleaded. “Let’s talk about this.” A few people glanced their way as he chased her up the stairs. Ben ignored them.

  “I don’t know what the point of living is without you,” Whitney said. Her voice had that dangerous quality to it, the one that had the ability to make Ben live every moment in fear. The one that always convinced him to take her back after one of their breakups.

  But not this time. He finally knew for certain he’d made the right choice.

  “You left me. You made your bed and now you have to lie in it,” Ben said.

  They exited the stadium and entered the relatively empty hall right outside. Down the hallway stood a concession stand, but only a few people were in line.

  “Who is she?” Whitney demanded.

  “There’s no one—”

  “Who is she?” Whitney repeated, her voice shrill.

  “It doesn’t matter!” Ben yelled, throwing his hands in the air. “Yes, I have feelings for someone else. But she’s dating someone, so it doesn’t matter.”

  “I can’t believe this.” Whitney held up her empty ring finger. “When you put a ring on my finger, we promised to love each other forever.”

  “You broke that promise. Don’t put it on me.”

  She clenched her jaw. “And now I want to make it right, but you won’t let me.”

  “We’re not right together, Whitney.”

  “I hate you, Benjamin Rhodes. I hate you for what you’ve done to me.”
She ran across the hall and pushed open the doors leading outside.

  “Whitney!” He took off after her, his heart pounding in his chest.

  Andi blinked as the lights in the theater came up, trying to adjust to the sudden brightness.

  “What did you think?” Luke asked.

  “Sappy,” Andi said. “Tons of plot holes and ‘too stupid to live’ moments.”

  Luke snorted. Around them theater patrons stood, leaving behind buckets of popcorn and empty soda drinks. “What’s a ‘too stupid to live’ moment?”

  “You know, where the hero or heroine does something so ridiculous that you’re not sure how they’ve survived up to this point. Like when she didn’t tell him her boyfriend was back in town, and he caught them together. If she would’ve mentioned his return, the whole breakup-and-get-back-together fiasco could’ve been avoided.”

  “But then there wouldn’t have been a movie.”

  Andi poked his arm with her finger. “Exactly. Next time, I’m picking the film. Something that’s got some action in it.” Her mind flashed back to the movie she’d watched with Ben on Christmas Day, and the way they’d giggled through it.

  What had his kiss with Whitney meant? Her heart had taken a knife when she watched them last night on the kiss cam. It hadn’t been a quick peck, designed to placate the crowd, but a long, slow kiss that had devastated her.

  “Brooke recommended the movie. She said all the girls were swooning over it, and it would be a good date for the press since it’s nice and normal.”

  The theater emptied of people, but Andi didn’t make a move to leave. “Nothing about you is normal, Luke Ryder. You’ve got enough money to buy this theater if you want.”

  “It’s already mine,” he admitted. Andi’s eyes widened, and he laughed. “My dad bought it a few years back. Diversifying or something like that. I mentioned to Brooke we could watch a movie at my place and forget the theater altogether, but she didn’t seem to like that suggestion.”

  Andi rolled her eyes. “Of course she didn’t like that suggestion. You wanted to bring a girl that wasn’t her back to your penthouse.”

  Luke’s cheeks flushed. “I didn’t … it’s not like that …”

  Andi burst out laughing. “I know it’s not like that, and you know it’s not like that. But does Brooke?”