Not Your Match

by Lindzee Armstrong

  “What for?”

  She sank onto the floor next to him, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “Because I felt like it, silly.”

  Ben tore away a strip of wrapping paper. He glanced up at Andi, a sideways grin on his face that made her ache. “New dance shoes? Awesome.” He ripped away the rest of the wrapping paper and yanked open the box.

  “I noticed last week your shoes were almost in as bad of shape as mine.” Andi pulled out her own new shoes and slipped them on, then wiggled her feet. “We’ll probably both have blisters by the end of class.”

  “Worth it.” He gave her a one-armed hug and she leaned into him, closing her eyes and breathing deeply. “Thanks, Andi. Want to try them out? Students won’t show up for another ten minutes or so.”

  “Absolutely.” She took his hand and let him pull her into a standing position. Quivers of longing racing up her arm from his touch, and she felt like she would fly into pieces at any moment.

  He pulled her close. “This is perfect for the foxtrot,” he said. His lips brushed her ear, his breath tickling her hair. Andi shivered. He pushed her backward, the pressure on her hand acting as a guide. She couldn’t take her eyes off his. They were a startling green today, maybe because of the green shirt he wore, and there was a fire in their depths Andi longed to explore.

  His hand pressed against her waist and slid up her side as she dropped to the floor in the splits, trailing lava with each touch. He pulled her back up, pressing her body against his as he whirled them around the room. Her heart thudded in her ears, drowning out the music with its rushing beat.

  She felt more chemistry with Ben in seven seconds than she had with Mark in seven years.

  Her mind whirled though the countless moments they’d spent like this in high school. How had she not really seen him then? She’d spent her entire day waiting for the bell to ring so she could rush off to practice with Ben. He’d made her laugh in a way no one else could, and she’d craved his presence even then.

  He spun her in a circle, pressing her back against his chest and wrapping his arms around her. Andi leaned into him, her eyes closing as she felt the racing beat of his heart through his shirt. She twirled back out, spinning in circles and using his intense gaze for spotting. But she still felt dizzy, like the entire world was spinning.

  The song ended, and another one began. Ben held Andi close, his breath hot on her face, his hand burning through her shirt to light a fire she’d never before experienced. “This is stupid,” he whispered, his lips brushing her hair.

  “What is?” Her words were breathy, barely loud enough to reach his ears. Her heart thundered in her chest.

  “Staying apart from each other. Don’t you feel it?”

  She wanted so badly to give in, to tell Ben she felt it too.

  But she couldn’t. Not yet.

  “What about Whitney?”

  He rubbed his hand up and down Andi’s back, sending pinpricks of pleasure throughout her body. “I don’t love Whitney anymore. I can’t make her leave California, but that doesn’t change how I feel about you.”

  The words echoed through her head, crashing like waves. “And how is that?” Andi whispered, her throat catching as she pushed out the words.

  “Like for the first time in my life, I’m finally alive.”

  She pressed herself closer to him, burying her face in his neck. His fingers gently grasped her chin, forcing her to look at him. His eyes searched hers, as though asking for permission.

  Andi pushed her fingers into his thick hair, relishing the silky texture, and smiled.

  He lowered his head, and she had to remind herself to breath. His lips hovered above hers, a hair’s breath away. She couldn’t stop staring at them and he smiled, as though he enjoyed teasing her. She dug her fingers deeper into his hair, pressing his head toward hers. Her body hummed, and her eyes fluttered closed, relishing the feel of his fingers running through her curls.

  “Oh! Sorry. I’ll come back later.”

  Andi pushed Ben back, jumping out of his arms. “Elle.” She quickly ran a hand through her hair, her face on fire with the passion of the moment and the embarrassment of getting caught.

  She’d almost kissed Ben.

  She’d almost.

  Kissed.

  Ben.

  Elle hugged the door frame and shifted from foot to foot, her cheeks stained pink. She clutched a folder to her chest like a shield.

  Andi ran a hand through her hair, sure it looked a mess. “What can I help you with?” She cleared her throat, trying to sound professional and not like a teenager caught with her first boyfriend.

  Elle’s eyes flicked to Ben, then back to Andi. “I had a legal question for you.”

  “I think I’ll go get a drink from the fountain.” Andi shivered as Ben’s voice cascaded over her like warm water. She looked at him for the first time since Elle had interrupted them. His eyes were liquid with longing and her stomach flipped to realize he felt as strongly as she did. He squeezed Andi’s hand, then left the room.

  Elle’s shoulders relaxed, and she strode across the studio, her heels clicking against the laminate floor. “We have a bit of a problem,” Elle said. “Last week, a fourteen-year-old sought refuge here and spent the night. She didn’t say much, just that her step-father was drunk and she didn’t feel safe at home. A few hours later, the step-father showed up, totally wasted, and demanded the girl come home. We refused to force her into his custody and he left after we threatened to call the police. The girl spoke with one of our counselors, and it appears a lot more than excessive drinking has been going on. I found out today he’s accusing us of kidnapping and threatening to close the center down.”

  Andi’s mind switched over to lawyer mode, and she mentally filed through all the possible ramifications of this situation. “I can see why you’re worried.”

  Elle nodded. “I don’t think he has a leg to stand on, but we need to be sure. The problem is funds are tight, and the board is reluctant to hire a lawyer when it’s unlikely he’ll even follow through on his threats.”

  Andi motioned to the file. “Do you want me to look through the reports and let you know if there’s anything to worry about?”

  Elle’s shoulders relaxed, and she handed over the file. “That would be a huge help. I feel bad asking, but I didn’t know who else to turn to.”

  “I don’t mind. Footsteps for Change is important to me now, too.” Andi flipped through the file, her eyes lingered on a few paragraphs describing the incident.

  Elle chewed on a nail, her eyes bright with anxiety. “If he follows through, the bad publicity could ruin us whether he has a case or not.”

  Andi pursed her lips, all too aware that Elle was right. “I didn’t realize the foundation was struggling.”

  “We try to keep it quiet so we don’t worry the kids. If it weren’t for generous volunteers, we’d already have shut this place down.”

  “We’re not going to let that happen. In just a couple of weeks I’ve seen how much this program helps these kids. They all love it here.” Andi tapped the folder against her chin, thinking. She would do the legal work pro bono if it came to that, but what about the bad publicity if this man took his story to the press? And how would the center survive long-term?

  Andi slapped the folder against her leg, the answer hitting him. “I can’t believe I didn’t think of it immediately.”

  “Think of what?” Elle asked.

  “Luke Ryder can help.”

  Elle pursed her lips, motioning toward the dance floor. “If you two are still dating, what was that about with Ben?”

  Andi sighed, running a hand through her hair. She wished she knew. Did this mean he was ready to put Whitney behind him and move forward? Was she ready to take that leap and trust him with her heart?

  “It’s complicated,” Andi said. “But I promise, I’m not cheating on Luke. He’s in love with someone else, and our relationship is mostly for the papers.”

  Elle’s
eyes widened. “I guess it’s true what they say—you really can’t trust anything you read online.”

  “You can’t tell anyone. Even if Luke isn’t really my boyfriend, we are friends. He can make a donation to Footsteps for Change, or his company can. We’ll get the press to cover it and you’ll get lots of good publicity.”

  “He would do that?”

  “I think so, if I asked him to.”

  “Oh, Andi.” Elle’s eyes glistened with tears and she hugged Andi. “You have no idea how much that would help. This program is so amazing, and I know if we could get the word out, people would want to help.”

  “I’ll talk to Luke tonight and see what we can arrange.” Andi held up the file. “I’ll go over this as well and let you know in a couple of days if there’s anything you should be concerned about.”

  “You’re a lifesaver.” A student entered the room, and Elle’s face transformed into a happy smile. “Hi, Sara. How did your Spanish test go today?”

  Andi tucked the folder into her gym bag and listened to Sara talk about school. A few more students filtered in, along with Ben.

  “We’ll be in touch,” Elle said.

  Andi gave a wave of acknowledgment. She turned, her eyes catching Ben’s. The heat in his gaze hadn’t dissipated at all.

  “Everything okay?” he asked. Andi knew he was talking about more than her conversation with Elle.

  Is it okay? Did she want to go down this road?

  Slowly, Andi nodded. “Yeah. Everything’s great.”

  The next day at work, Ben couldn’t stop thinking about the almost-kiss. After class yesterday, Andi had given him a shy smile and then said she needed to discuss something with Elle. He’d left Footsteps for Change not sure where he and Andi stood.

  If only Elle had walked into the room one minute later. Andi’s lips had been so close, the smell of her coconut lip gloss overwhelming him. Had she really been about to let him kiss her? For years he’d longed for her to see him as more than a dance partner. And now, she finally had.

  He was desperate to explore their relationship and see where it lead.

  The last bell rang. Ben helped a few students check their grades and gave the makeup assignment to someone who’d missed the previous class. When everyone had left, Ben pulled out his phone and texted Andi.

  Ben: We need to talk. Can I see you?

  He was in the elevator at the condo before he got a response.

  Andi: I swear I’m not trying to avoid you, but this week is crazy. I really need to help Elle with something. Can we get together on Friday night? Maybe for dinner?

  It wasn’t as soon as he’d hoped for, but he’d take it.

  Ben: Friday at six. Dinner at my place. I want to show you the new kitchen. I’ll cook.

  Andi: Sounds great. See you Friday.

  That seemed so far away. But if she was busy, or needed to think, he’d give her the time she wanted.

  He’d waited a long time for this. He could wait two more days.

  Ben pulled his keys out of his pocket and unlocked the condo door, already anticipating Friday. Maybe he’d make burgers—she seemed to like them at Rachel’s birthday party. They wouldn’t be quite as good in the frying pan as on the grill, but still tasty.

  Ben swung his door open. The scent of braised beef and grilled pineapple instantly engulfed him, catapulting him back to the time when he and Whitney had been happy.

  The newly removed archway gave him a clear shot into the kitchen. Whitney stood at the stove, sautéing what he knew was mixed vegetables in olive oil and Parmesan cheese. It was the meal she’d made him nearly a year ago for his birthday—the one he hadn’t been able to eat enough of. She wore the same green dress that swished around her calves, her hair twisted into the same side bun with a flower in it.

  Ben let the door slam shut. Whitney turned around, a brilliant smile on her face. “Hi, honey. How was work?”

  “How did you get in here?”

  “I borrowed a key from Rachel. I wanted to do something nice for you.” She grabbed the pan of mixed vegetables off the stove and put it on the table. “Let me get the beef out of the oven, and then dinner’s ready.”

  Ben’s mind whirled. Typical Whitney mania. Years of training had him cautiously stepping into the kitchen. He set his computer bag on the new breakfast bar, then carefully washed his hands.

  Had she completely lost it and believed they were still together? Was this another ploy to get him back? He had no idea what to think.

  Whitney filled his plate with mixed vegetables, wild rice, and braised beef. Ben sat down and waited for Whitney to do the same. He followed her every moment, wondering what she’d do next.

  Had the kiss at the basketball game somehow made her snap? Had their argument over the phone pushed her over the edge?

  Whitney picked up her fork. “Rachel and I got our nails done today.” She held out her hand, waving it in front of his face. A fresh manicure stared back at him, the deep red polish glistening under the florescent kitchen lighting. “It was nice to get together and share some girl talk.”

  Ben slowly cut off a piece of beef and placed it in on his tongue. He couldn’t even taste it. This was some bizarre parallel universe where Whitney hadn’t gave him back his ring.

  “What are you doing, Whit?”

  She blinked. “What do you mean? I’m telling you about my day. Why, did you have something you wanted to tell me first?”

  He put down his fork. “You can’t come into my condo whenever you want.”

  “I made you dinner.”

  “We’re not together anymore.”

  She slammed her fist on the table, making her water glass jump and spill. “Stop. Saying. That.”

  White-hot fear sliced through him. But for once in their relationship, he wasn’t going to back down because of what she might do or how she might behave. “I’m sorry. We’ve been through too much, and I can’t recover from it.” He wanted to say you put me through too much but he didn’t want to make this harder for her than it already was. And though she had certainly made their relationship a lot more complicated than it needed to be, he’d made mistakes, too.

  Whitney put her hands over her ears and let out a scream. “We are not over.”

  “Yes, we are.”

  “You kissed me last week. That has to mean something. I can fix this. I can make it right.”

  Ben closed his eyes, forcing down the tears. “I’m sorry I kissed you. I shouldn’t have.”

  Whitney stared at him, her eyes luminescent. “I can’t do this without you.”

  His heart cracked, and the weight of guilt nearly toppled him. Had he enabled her too much? Coddled her too often? Had he lead her on at the basketball game? He reached across the table and squeezed her hands. “Yes, you can. Your parents will do anything to help you, Whit. Go home. Go back to the therapist. Get back on your medication.”

  “Why can’t you love me for me?” Tears streamed down her face, smearing her mascara. “Why does it have to be about medications and doctors and pills?”

  “I did love you for you. That’s why it broke my heart so much to see you acting like someone else. This isn’t you.”

  “If we aren’t together, then what am I living for?”

  He rubbed his thumbs over her knuckles, their hands resting on the table alongside the braised beef, wishing he could make her understand. He looked her right in the eye, even though he wanted nothing more than to avoid her tear-streaked face. Those tears had always been his undoing.

  But not anymore.

  He missed Whitney—the girl he’d met and fallen in love with in college. He ached for the future they had planned for together and would now never have. But they would never work. He no longer even wanted them to.

  His feelings for Andi eclipsed everything else now.

  “You should go home,” Ben said.

  Whitney screamed, the sound ripping through Ben. She placed her hands under the cheap dining table and pushed it
up. Food slid off the table, landing in Ben’s lap and tumbling to the ground. Plates shattered as they hit the floor. One of the legs on the table collapsed, folding in on itself until it snapped.

  Whitney rose, her chest heaving. “I hate you, Benjamin Rhodes. I hate you for doing this to me. You led me on!” Her shrill voice echoed about the condo.

  Ben stood, bits of braised beef and broccoli tumbling from his lap. “I’m sorry about the kiss. I shouldn’t have let that happen. But I have been clear from the very beginning that I wasn’t interested in getting back together.”

  He barely had time to register the swing of her hand before her palm connected with his cheek. A sharp sting zinged through his face. Whitney pointed a trembling finger at him. “You will live to regret this. If I walk out that door, I’m not coming back. You’ll be making the worst decision of your life.”

  He thought of everything he could say, the accusations and hurt he could throw her direction. But she was sick—desperately needed help—and he knew this wasn’t the real Whitney. He didn’t want to hurt her more than he already had.

  “Goodbye, Whitney. I hope you find peace.”

  She let out another scream and stomped her foot, then whirled and left the condo, not bothering to close the door behind her.

  Ben stood there, hands in his pockets as he watched Whitney leave. The urge to run after her was strong. Years of habit screamed at him, but he fought it back. He had to let her go so they could both move on.

  He was no longer responsible for her decisions. The guilt washed away, like water headed downstream, and a warm peace filled its place.

  She didn’t own him. She didn’t have any power over him. Whatever Whitney decided to do from this point forward, it wasn’t his fault. He would always care for her, and he wished her the best. But that chapter of his life was over.

  A knock came tentatively on the door, and Andi peaked inside. Her hair was pulled up in a twist, a briefcase slung over one shoulder. “Ben? Everything okay?”

  “Yeah.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Come in.”

  Andi pushed the door open wider and stepped inside, then gasped. “What happened here?”