Christmas Confidential

by Marilyn Pappano; Linda Conrad

  He scared her to death. The man was seriously into saving people. Besides the sex, she’d fallen in love with big, strong, protective Gage Chance who seemed so honest and straightforward. And now, even though he still didn’t seem sure of her true identity, he would be trying to save her new persona from whatever danger lurked around the next corner.

  Good way to get himself killed, the idiotic man. And she was an even bigger imbecile for getting into bed with him.

  Keeping her eyes closed, she breathed in his scent. Spice and musk and something indefinable that was all Gage. As much as this night had been a bad idea, she couldn’t manage to regret it. She would pay for it, maybe for the rest of her life, but she would never be sorry they’d made love one last time.

  Still, she felt changed by making love to him again. And it seemed clear that nothing she said or did would make him leave her and save himself. So it was time for the truth. That might not save him, but she owed it to him.

  He stirred and began stroking her back, murmuring words she couldn’t understand but got the gist of anyway. Torn, she wanted what he wanted—badly. More of what they’d just shared. But maybe if she moved away from him now, pretended what they’d done wasn’t something she wanted to repeat, he would back off and give her the time to get herself together before she told him everything. Ah hell, who was she kidding? She was a terrific liar, but she’d never be able to pull that off.

  She should get up. Say something. Start giving him the complete truth. Should. Should. Not a chance.

  He groaned in her ear and slanted a kiss across her lips that sizzled all the way down her spine. Reaching for him and finding him hard and ready, she lost her mind as white heat and rock-hard satin singed her fingers. Any resolve she might’ve had left was totally lost while the room combusted around them.

  Later was her last coherent thought as she rubbed the tip of his erection against the spot on her body that ached for him the most. She would make things right—but much later.

  * * *

  Gage reached for Alicia in his sleep. But when all he found was empty space in the bed beside him, he came awake with a start.

  What the hell?

  Looking around the room, he realized where he was. Not Alicia. Not home. It all came back with a thud. Judging by the clock on the nightstand, it was 5:00 a.m. and he’d been making love to Elana for most of the night. And it had been a night like no other. But where was she now?

  The artificial light filtering in through the window was partially blocked by a heavy snowfall. It was really coming down hard now. Where was she?

  Sitting up and putting his feet on the carpeted floor, he spotted a light coming from under the bathroom door. The door was cracked open slightly, and if he held his breath he could hear a mumbled conversation going on.

  He stood and quickly located his coat. Sure enough, his sat phone was missing.

  He took his first real breath since coming awake and realizing Elana wasn’t in bed. Who would she be calling at this hour? He hoped it was only her daughter, but somehow he doubted that. Whoever it was could be connected to the men after her.

  Why didn’t he know which it was? He was good enough to sleep with but not good enough for the truth?

  Suddenly pissed as hell, at her and himself, he stormed to the bathroom door determined to shake the truth out of her and replace it with some sense. But when he got close, he found he could hear at least her half of the conversation. He didn’t much like eavesdropping, but he hated being lied to even more. Hesitating with his hand on the doorknob, he listened.

  “No, he doesn’t know yet,” she said in a voice that had not a trace of an accent. “Because. Because I didn’t want to tell him unless I had to. Now, I guess I must. I can’t sneak out without waking him. I have to say something.”

  He felt like someone had hit him upside the head with a two-by-four. It was Alicia’s voice, and she was talking about him.

  “Yes, yes. I know,” she went on. “I’ll find a way to disappear again after I explain who I am. He’ll be angry when he hears the truth. That should give me the space I need to leave him behind.”

  It took Gage all of ten seconds to put two and two together. And when he did, the emotions flooding him ran the gamut from mad as hell, to pure relief at finding her alive, to hurt and humiliation. He froze where he was, unable to process all he felt.

  “It’ll be okay,” she added in that same hushed phone voice. “You just be ready to come get me when I call. We still have the Russians and my father to worry about.”

  That did it. He bolted into the bathroom and found her, standing totally naked before the mirror. Her eyes went wide with shock when she spotted him.

  Danged if the truth wasn’t evident in those very eyes staring wildly at him. Eyes he’d thought he would never see again. Hazel eyes. Alicia’s eyes.

  “Gage...I...” She set the phone down and turned to him. “Let me explain.”

  “Yeah, so you can spin me another pack of lies? No thanks, Alicia. You’ve done quite enough of that already.”

  “There were reasons for the lies. And I’ve regretted them every day since the day I disappeared.”

  “Disappeared?” He laughed but the sound was hollow and full of hurt. “Is that what you call it? You died. I watched you slip under the bridge. Damn it. I grieved for you.”

  His chest hurt so badly he figured he must be having a heart attack. “Why, Alicia?” His voice cracked and came out in a hoarse whisper. “Just tell me why?”

  “My name is not Alicia.” The cry in her voice sobered him up fast.

  Anger flashed, strong and mind-numbing through his clogged brain. “No more lies.” Wanting to shake the truth out of her, he fisted his hands at his side. “It’s time for explanations.”

  She turned and grabbed for a towel. “I’m so sorry, Gage.” When she faced him again, holding the towel in front of her, her face was a mask of pain. Her bottom lip trembled and her eyes brimmed with water.

  Fake tears? “Stop it,” he ordered. “Just stop it. Do you have any idea what you put me through? Not a day has gone by for the past five years that I haven’t thought of you and wondered if you’d felt any pain when you died. And you’re sorry? It nearly destroyed me when I couldn’t find you in the water. I have never felt so helpless.

  “I want to know why you faked your death.” He took a deep breath, trying to calm down. “Why you’re living as someone else. And most of all, if you were in trouble, why didn’t you let me help you? I thought we loved each other.”

  “You didn’t know me.” Before she turned away, he saw her face. No tears in sight.

  Rage made him blind and desperate. Reeling, he took a step back but quickly recovered. Taking her by the shoulders, he gave her a hard shake. “Tell me.”

  “Everything I told you about my background when we were married was a lie,” she said with such a calm demeanor that it shook him even more. “But I want to tell you the truth now. You should know.”

  “You wouldn’t know the truth if it came wrapped in a gold ribbon.” He squeezed her arms, wanting to pry the story from her lips.

  “You’re hurting me.” She raised her shoulders and tried to squirm away.

  He loosened his grip but didn’t let go. “Start with the name. Who are you?”

  “I was born Amara Coppersmith. The daughter of American Rom parents. We’re gypsies, Gage. Just like I said. Everything I said about my family...about the arranged marriage...that part was all true.”

  “Was I the guy in your story? The dumb one you used? Why did you find it necessary to fake your death? Did you hate me so much that you had to run away from me, too?”

  She looked up at him, her face stricken with pain. “I could never hate you, Gage. That was just a story. And I’m truly sorry for the hurt I caused. Faking a drowning was stupid. But I didn’t have a lot of time to make better plans. My father and the Russian mob boss had spotted me just that morning. The idea of drowning was Brendan’s.”
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br />   “Why didn’t you tell me you were in trouble? Let me help?” He couldn’t breathe. Could barely hear her voice anymore because of the drumbeat of his own pulse.

  “Brendan was close by and knew the background. I needed to get out of town that day. He had the contacts to make it happen. You would never have let me go alone. I know you. You would’ve wanted to save me. I couldn’t let you do that.”

  Something snapped inside him. “I didn’t know you, but you knew everything about me?” He pushed her against the wall and got right in her face.

  Her eyes widened again—until she looked down between them and saw a truth he couldn’t hide. “I promise you, Gage,” she said, reaching for him. “I didn’t leave because I was unhappy. Not with you. You made my life wonderful for the very first time.”

  “You haven’t answered the most important question,” he snarled, dragging her lush body flush against him.

  “Forgive me for the lies.” Looping her arms around his neck, she went up on tiptoes and rubbed her breasts against his chest. “Are you asking about the sex? The sex between us was always the best. That hasn’t changed if that’s what you want to know.”

  He grabbed her bottom, lifted her up. “Put your legs around me.”

  She did what he asked, reaching between them to position him to her opening. “Yes, Gage. Yes, I want this, too.”

  Flexing his hips, he plunged into her. “Tell me,” he demanded against her mouth.

  He buried himself deep in her waiting heat. “Did you ever love me?” The question was nearly lost as he planted kisses along her jawline and squeezed her bottom to dive in even deeper.

  Her head rolled and she started to moan. “Gage...”

  “Answer me,” he ground out as he held himself still. “Did you ever really love me? Or was it all a lie?”

  “Please.” She rocked her hips against his. “Now.”

  This wasn’t just about sex for him. It was about healing. And about love. And most of all about possession.

  “Did. You. Love. Me?”

  “I loved you,” she gasped. “Oh, God, how I loved you.”

  His mind went blank. He began pumping into her, catching her screams in his mouth and relishing every second. When she squeezed her thighs together, the earth stood on its head.

  Her orgasm was so powerful it took him right along for the craziest ride of his life. Moments later as she continued convulsing around him, he felt his knees buckle.

  Still breathing heavily, he lowered her feet so she could reach the floor. But he left his hands on her hips to keep them both steady. Leaning his forehead against the wall, he felt utterly destroyed.

  A few seconds later, she stirred and lightly pushed on his chest. “Now we both need a shower.”

  He moved aside but hung on to a towel bar for balance.

  “I want you to know,” she began as she turned on the water. “I still love you. More than ever.”

  He reached for her again, ready for a repeat performance.

  She held him at arm’s length. “But I must tell you the whole truth. I can’t live with the lies between us. I’ll be out in a moment. Just wait.”

  Feeling like a complete imbecile, he said, “I’ll be here. But nothing says I’ll believe a thing you have to say.”

  Chapter 7

  Elana had never faced anything this difficult. As she turned away from Gage and stepped into the shower, the look on his face, that combination of longing and regret, cost her something. It ripped a large chunk of her heart out and stomped it into dust.

  Dear Lord, she felt dirty. But no amount of washing would take away the stains of her betrayal. She was so ashamed of the way she’d used him—not only during the night for sex, but also for their entire relationship. He and his isolated ranching community in west Texas had made wonderful ports in the storm—for a while. But she’d married him knowing full well that it wouldn’t last. It couldn’t. They were too different.

  So, she’d begun by lying to him. And she planned on one more lie. However, this one would be a lie by omission. If she told him everything...

  No, that wasn’t an option.

  She was surprised he hadn’t asked the moment he realized who she was. But there hadn’t been time. Not yet. He was probably still in shock. Maybe if she dressed and told him most of the story in a hurry, she could hold off on the inevitable.

  Listening to him run water in the sink, she quickly ducked under the shower, soaped up and rinsed off. Ten minutes later she got out to dry off and he’d already left the bathroom.

  With no choice but to go into the next room dressed only in one large, fluffy towel around her middle, she grabbed a hand towel for her hair, lifted her chin and prayed for a miracle reprieve. When she opened the bedroom door, she found him fully dressed and looking out the window with his back to her.

  “Are you willing to listen?” she asked, hoping he had calmed down.

  “I’ll listen. But how will I know what you’re saying isn’t another lie?”

  She couldn’t do this while naked, so she scavenged around inside her duffel for underwear, heavy jeans and a sweater. “You’ll know because as much as you don’t know who I am, you do know me. The me inside. Let your heart decide what’s the truth.”

  He turned and folded his arms across his chest. “Go on.”

  After dressing and pulling the sweater over her head, she found her knees were shaking too badly to keep standing. With the hand towel still wrapped around her hair, she made her way to the table and sat in one of the chairs. Gage remained standing, looming above her.

  “I’ll begin by saying that my heritage is American Rom—gypsy.” She waited for his look of disgust, but it didn’t come. “But for some reason I was always the smart child. So smart that when my teachers begged my father to let me continue schooling past the time most young Roma girls quit, he gave in and let me go on. Little girls in our community are usually destined to be housewives—the heads of the household. But my father loves me very much and somehow knew I needed to be different.”

  “Your father... Does he know where you are?” Gage took a step toward her.

  “No. At least, I don’t think he does. But these men—they may be part of the same Russian mob.” Folding her arms around her waist to keep herself steady, she went on. “As my high school graduation approached, the talk turned to college. But no one in my family ever went to college before. Still, my father could see it would be best for me. Unfortunately, the family couldn’t afford school. And we’re not the kind who would borrow money.”

  “Not even for...”

  “Never. That’s just the way it is with us.” She sighed and looked away, not able to watch Gage’s stern, unbelieving expression. “Something happened around that time. A Russian Rom family immigrated to our town. One of their sons was about my age. My mother and his mother decided to arrange our marriage like all Roma elders do for their children.”

  “So that part wasn’t a lie?” Gage took the seat across from her.

  “All true, I’m afraid.” She felt her body caving in on itself as she came to the ugly part of the story. “But what I didn’t mention was that this Russian family was heavily into criminal activities and had become wealthy. It seems they’d been involved with the Russian mob back in their homeland. And yet, they still expected a dowry from our family.”

  She let the sad smile spread across her face but went on. “We had nothing. Less than nothing. I didn’t want the marriage, anyway. But my father went to the boy’s father and struck a deal. Our family would work for their family, doing whatever they wanted us to do, until we could pay off the dowry.”

  “Becoming criminals? Your father sold his soul so you could be married to a guy you hardly knew?”

  “He also promised to pay for a couple of years of college for me, but yeah, that’s the way it was. Nice story, right? It’s one of the reasons I seldom think about my past. And I’ve never talked about it to anyone before.”

  “But your
friend Brendan, the one from the store and the one who has your child, he knows?”

  “He knows. He’s a distant relative on my mother’s side and isn’t involved in any criminal activity. I went to him for help because I knew he had connections and wouldn’t tell my parents.”

  “So who is it that’s after you?”

  Without answering him directly, she whimpered, “This is all my fault. I shouldn’t have wanted an education so badly. My mother thought marrying into wealth would ensure my happiness. Instead, I’ve ruined our whole family.”

  “Who has been shooting at us?” His eyes narrowed on her.

  He was right. He deserved an answer before they parted ways. “I would imagine it’s the Russian Roma mob—in addition to my ex-fiancé, or my own father and his brothers.”

  “Let me get this straight. You claim your old fiancé...” The way he drew out that word pained her, the same as if he’d stabbed her with a knife. “...and your father are after you. Why? Why after all this time would your father want to kill you?”

  Drying her hair with the towel, she knew it was nearing time for her to leave. “It probably isn’t my father’s doing. He would never want to see me hurt. But his mob boss may be making him go along. You have to understand...”

  Dragging in air, she raced ahead. “In the gypsy culture, especially with the Russians, you can never go back on a deal. Anyone who does has to be taught a lesson.”

  “You sure it isn’t anything else?” His voice had grown even darker, if that was possible.

  Standing, she finished her hair with the towel as best she could and slipped into her shoes. “What do you mean?”

  “You didn’t steal anything from them, did you?”

  Oh, man, where was he going with this? “No, of course not. I may be related to criminals, but I’m not into petty theft.”

  Scrunching up his mouth in a frown, he tilted his head. “So all this time, even while we were a couple, you knew they would be coming after you eventually.” Not a question.