by Maya Banks
What demon possessed her, she wasn't sure. As she let herself into her apartment and headed for the bathroom, she reflected on the idea that she was probably being more than a little vindictive.
Was it hurt pride? No, she didn't think that was it. Nathan was hardly the first man to ever be oblivious to her signals. She'd always adopted a fuck-it attitude when it came to men. So why was she so uptight over Nathan Tucker?
Because you want him more than you’ve wanted other men.
And there it was. The truth hurt but it was still there in black and white. For whatever reason, she wanted Nathan more than she'd ever wanted another man, and the fact that he hadn't wanted her in the beginning did sting.
A cool shower helped to clear her head and sooth her savaged nerves. It really did irritate her that Nathan affected her so much. She was normally cool and confident, but he'd managed to turn her into a raving, desperate lunatic.
Most women her size probably wouldn't wear tight, form-fitting jeans, but she didn't have any compunction about displaying her body. To be honest, she'd tried skinnier and leaner, and it just didn't look good on her.
Once, after breaking up with a dickhead who snidely told her she could stand to lose a few pounds, she'd gotten serious about losing weight. She'd dropped thirty pounds, but it just hadn't worked for her. She liked herself the way she was, and she was pissed as hell that she'd let a man change the way she looked at herself, even if it had been a temporary thing.
After that, she'd forgotten all about ideal sizes, had rounded out and added back her ample curves, and quite frankly she liked herself a lot better, and she had her self-respect back.
Her mother wasn't perfect by a long shot, but what she had given Julie from the time she was a child was a strong sense of self. Not a day went by that she hadn't told Julie how beautiful she was, how smart. She'd imbued her daughter with the belief she could do anything, be anything. She'd grown up believing that. She still did.
She needed to call her mom and check in. Make sure she didn't need anything. Lord knows her brother wasn't going to step up. As much as it galled her to have any contact with the moron her mother had married, she couldn't very well turn her back on her mom.
Besides, there was always the outside chance that her mother might actually surprise her and leave the jerk.
Chuckling over the absurdity of that notion, she finished dressing, applied light makeup and brushed out her hair until it fell softly over her shoulders.
The only area she paid special attention to was her lips. She applied rich red lipstick because she wanted Nathan to look at those lips and remember them around his cock.
She cracked a grin and then checked to make sure she didn't have lipstick on her teeth. Satisfied with her appearance, she went in search of her shoes. With ten minutes to spare, she went back into the living room to wait for Nathan to arrive.
Oddly she wasn't nervous. Excitement hummed through her veins. Finally she was going to be on a real date with him. After months of cat and mouse, of hinting and endless flirtation, the man had gained a clue. It didn't speak well of a lengthy relationship if she had to beat him over the head with a baseball bat every time she wanted his attention.
When her doorbell rang five minutes early, she had to stop herself from bolting to the door. Chiding herself for being way too damn eager, she took her time going to let him in.
She opened the door to see him filling up the entrance, his hands shoved nervously in his pockets.
"You shouldn't just answer the door without checking to see who's outside," he said with a frown. "What if I had been some rapist or serial killer?"
She let her hand rest on the edge of the door and cocked her hip to the side as she studied just how damn good he looked in his Carhartt jeans. They molded to all the right spots, cupping him as lovingly as she would have, given the opportunity. And the simple T-shirt he wore shouldn't have been anything special, but it spread tightly across his chest, outlining in perfect detail every ripple and bulge of his muscles.
Damn it, why couldn't he be mediocre? Or passably handsome? Why couldn't he be one of these guys who only had his personality going for him? Why did he have to be the total package for her?
"Are you listening to me, Julie?"
She blinked. "Huh?"
"I said you shouldn't be answering the door without knowing for sure who's on the other side. It's dangerous."
"Oh, well, I knew it was you. Who else would it be?" she asked lightly.
"That's not the point. From now on, check before you open the door, okay? They should have peepholes on these doors."
"You're off the clock, Nathan," she said as she gestured him inside.
He flashed a quick grin as he stepped inside the small foyer. He filled up the entire entryway, and suddenly she felt pretty small beside him.
"Just let me get my purse and we can head out," she said.
He nodded and stood waiting while she ducked back into the living room. Seconds later she returned.
"You ready?"
"Sure, let's do it."
He motioned her ahead of him and they walked out the door. She turned back to lock it, and he waited on the sidewalk until she rejoined him. Then he walked her to his truck and opened the passenger door for her.
It was a long damn way up and she eyed the seat skeptically. Even the "oh shit" handle was out of reach.
To her surprise, Nathan put his hands around her waist and lifted her up as easily as if she was one of those small, dainty females. She landed in the seat with his hand still resting firmly on her thigh. For a long moment, he stood there, looking at her with heat radiating from his eyes.
Slowly he pulled his hand away as if reluctant to stop touching her. He backed up and shut the door then strode around to his side. He slid in with no problem whatsoever, but then he was a good foot taller than she was.
"A person could get a nosebleed in this thing," she said.
He laughed. "Not everyone is as short as you."
"Why do men like big tires and jacked-up trucks anyway?"
He slid her a sideways glance and grinned. "Guys like big toys. Besides, it's fun to go off-roading in it. I'll have to take you mud-ding some time."
She rolled her eyes. "The only mud I'm interested in is the kind a gorgeous guy wraps me in during a day at the spa."
"I could wrap you in some mud."
She laughed. "Oh I bet you could."
He turned back to stare out the windshield as he navigated through traffic. "Have you heard from Faith?"
Though he asked the question in a casual voice, she could hear his concern. It was pretty sweet and obvious he cared about her.
"Actually no. After you left she came back. She, uhm, had to go get something but then Gray showed up."
Nathan winced. "Yeah, I sorta told him where she was, but he was so worried. I couldn't let the poor guy sweat like that. Besides, they need to work their shit out."
Julie nodded. "True, and I think they will. She had already come to the conclusion that she needed to go home and talk to him rather than park herself at my place and cry on my shoulder.
Not that I minded. But Gray showed up and she went home with him. I haven't heard from her, but then I don't expect to until tomorrow."
"I hope it works out. She seemed pretty upset this morning at the office."
"You're really worried about her, aren't you?"
He gave her another quick look as if to gauge whether she was joking. "Of course I am. Faith's like my little sister or something. I don't want to see her hurt."
"I wasn't implying you weren't sincere. I just think it's sweet the way you look out for her."
"My mama did teach me how to treat women," he said with a saucy grin.
She raised an eyebrow. "Did she? Guess I'll have to be the judge of that."
He reached over and touched her cheek, brushing aside her hair so he could slide his knuckles along her jaw. "I plan to treat you very nice."
S
hivers danced over her skin until her shoulders twitched in response.
"I didn't ask you what you preferred to eat, but Serena said that Riganti's is really nice, and she's friends with the head chef, so I pulled a few strings and got us their best table for the night."
"Wow. Pulling out all the stops."
"Maybe I think you're worth it," he said in a quiet voice.
She swallowed. What the hell was she supposed to say to that? In two seconds flat they'd gone from playful teasing to . . . what exactly? Bone-melting declarations? Clearly he had no intention of playing fair.
"Are we dressed for Riganti's?" she asked skeptically as she glanced over their jeans. Not that he didn't look positively spectacular in his
His smile flashed. "Let's just say we have a private setting. No one's really going to notice what we're wearing because they won't be able to see us. You struck me as the casual dress type, and this is about as dressy as I get, so I took a chance on not offending you with my choice of wardrobe for the evening."
"What can I say, I'm a girl who likes my comfort."
"A girl after my own heart."
He was so going to have to stop with the leading statements because she got a disgusting thrill every time he made them.
When they pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant, Nathan cut the engine and opened his door. "Hang tight. I'll be around to help you out. I'd hate for you to break a leg getting down."
Though he was totally teasing her, she actually might break an ankle, so she waited until he opened the door and reached for her waist with his big hands.
It was ridiculously thrilling to be with a man strong enough to toss her around like she was one of those women who weighed a hundred pounds soaking wet.
And he took his time letting her slide down his body until her feet hit the ground. For a moment he stared down at her, molding her against the juncture of his thighs.
Finally he reached for her hand, tucking her fingers against his palm. He pulled her away from the truck and shut the door behind her.
"I don't know about you, but I'm starving. I hope they serve meat in here. Serena wouldn't have sent me to a granola restaurant, would she?"
Julie laughed. "Serena is probably more of a carnivore than you are. The girl loves her red meat."
"And you?"
Either he was incredibly naive or he was a huge flirt. She was placing her bets on the latter.
Ignoring his blatant innuendo, she leaned further into his side as they walked toward the entrance. He let go of her hand and wrapped his arm around her waist, encouraging her further into the crook of his arm.
A man just shouldn't feel this good. It caused a woman to do and think crazy things. She nearly laughed out loud at the absurdity of that thought. Attacking the man during a massage was as crazy as it got. There was nowhere left for her to go but up from there.
Chapter 12
Faith and Gray rode in silence. Uncomfortable silence. There was a lot she wanted to say, but she wasn't about to have such an important conversation when he couldn't even look at her because he was driving.
Every once in a while he glanced over, and she could see the worry, the confusion in his eyes. But she also saw resolve, as if he wasn't about to let her go without a fight. She took comfort in that. They could work this out and chalk it up to one of the many misunderstandings they'd no doubt have over the course of their marriage.
"Where are we going?" she asked, finally breaking the silence.
He reached for her hand, curling his finger around hers. "You'll see. We're almost there."
She recognized the area as an affluent neighborhood just north of Houston. They drove deeper into the residential area where the houses grew larger and more beautiful, the landscaping speaking of professional hands.
Then he turned into the circle driveway of a large stone house. The yard looked as though it hadn't been tended to in a while, or at least only a cursory hand had been applied.
"Come on," he said as he got out.
She met him around the front and he took her hand to lead her to the front door. To her surprise, he pulled out a key and inserted it into the lock.
“Gray?”
He drew her inside, and the smell of fresh paint quivered over her nose. The house was empty. No furniture, nothing on the walls except the gleam of new paint.
"This is where I've been spending so many evenings," he said gruffly.
She stared around at the foyer, the stairs and the open living room beyond.
"But Gray, we can't afford this house, I mean, we already picked out our house."
He smiled and pulled her through the living room. "I got a good deal on this one, and I knew you really wanted something larger, something we could grow into. When I saw it I just knew I had to have it for you. It was a foreclosure. Needed a lot of work. I've done what I can myself. Painting, new carpet, stuff like that."
She looked around, trying to absorb all he was saying. So many of her dream items were featured prominently in the house. The big fireplace, the big picture windows and a patio leading off from the living room through glass doors.
"Oh my God," she whispered. "This is really our house?"
He nodded. Then he hesitated. "That is, if there's still going to be a wedding."
Shame coursed through her. She squeezed her eyes shut, not wanting to look at him. A tear trickled down her cheek to her mortification. Boy, when she screwed up, she went big.
He gathered her close, ignoring the stiffening of her body. He wrapped his arms around her and cupped the back of her head with one hand. His fingers wandered through the strands of her hair as he simply held on to her.
"Don't ever do that to me, Faith," he whispered. "You scared the shit out of me this morning. When I realized you'd canceled the arrangements, I went a little nuts."
She inhaled, holding and savoring his scent as she laid her head against his chest. "I'm sorry, Gray. I wish I could give you a reason. It was irrational of me, and I'm so sorry. It was stupid and childish, and I wouldn't blame you if you didn't want to marry me after all this."
He leaned back and tilted her chin until she stared into his eyes.
"I only have one question, Faith. Do you love me?"
Her heart shifted and melted under his intense gaze.
"So much it scares me."
"That's all I need. You loving me. Nothing else matters."
"I do. So much," she said with an ache in her voice.
"I vote we leave the tour of the house for another time and go home so we can address more important matters."
His hand slid down to lay flat against her belly, his fingers splayed out. God, there might be a baby in there. A mixture of panic and awe coursed through her at the thought.
"Yeah, let's go home," she said around the knot in her throat.
Nathan sat across the table from Julie watching her eat. He watched her smile, how her eyes lit up in response every time she spoke. How she laughed with no reserve. Was it any wonder he was always so damn tongue-tied around her? Or that it had taken him months to work up the courage to ask her out?
He'd had sex with her. Twice, technically, and even then the idea of asking her on a date had left him with a raging case of gut rot.
He wanted to ask her why. Why had she given him a blow job and then fired him as her client? Why not just say she was interested?
Why hadn't he said he was interested?
"Tell me about you," she said as she leaned forward.
The motion pinned her breasts to the table, plumping them up toward her neckline until they mounded like two ripe melons. All he could see was her lying on the bed at The House, and all he could remember was the feel of so much willing sweet flesh in his arms as he slid into her over and over.
How the hell was he ever supposed to have a normal conversation with her again? Preferably one where his dick wasn't fighting for equal airtime?
"What do you want to know?"
"Well, all I
know is what Faith's told me or what I've learned from listening to general conversation. She said you used to be in the army and went to work for Pop as soon as you got out."
He nodded. "Yeah, I joined up out of high school. There was no way Ma could have paid for me to go to college. At the time I only planned to stay the minimum and let them pay my way through college, but I enjoyed it so I re-upped. I'd probably still be in if an injury hadn't taken me out."
Her forehead wrinkled and her eyes lighted with sympathy. They were such a warm brown. Like chocolate.
"It wasn't anything serious," he said hastily. "I mean, I could have stayed in the army but I couldn't remain with my specialty. Just didn't seem like much point after that."
"Oh. Still, that had to suck."
He grinned. "I thought it did at first but I came home, licked my wounds. Pop gave me a job and here I am. It's great. I like the people I work with, I make good money and I'm close to my mom and my sisters."
"Sisters?"
"Yeah, I'm the only boy. Was hell growing up with all those women, let me tell you."
"You're so full of shit. You loved it and you know it. Your eyes are all warm and gooey just talking about them."
He grinned self-consciously. "Yeah, busted. It wasn't fun when they all had PMS, but they're a great bunch of women."
"How many sisters?"
"Three. Two are married but the baby is in college."
He could see the question she wanted to ask but was too polite.
"I send Ma money so Tracy can get her degree."
"That's awfully sweet of you," she said in a quiet voice.
He shifted uncomfortably, heat creeping up his neck. "She's a smart kid. I consider it an investment. She'll probably own the world in a few years and then she can support her big brother."
Julie smiled and put down her fork. "I just love a guy who blushes. It's incredibly sweet."
Fuck if his face didn't light on fire, and the heifer knew it. And why the hell was she talking to him like he was her big brother or something? Her mouth around his dick had certainly removed any possibility that they were going to be just friends.