Innocent abroard

by Jessica Steele

  For hours, or so it seemed, Reggie lay awake trying to oust the ferreting of her thoughts and find sleep. But in the end she had to admit defeat. She got out of bed wide awake, her brain alive with all that was going through it.

  Hot, bothered and bewildered, she shrugged into her cotton housecoat, knowing if there was to be any chance of sleep for her that night, then first she was going to have to sort herself out.

  Noiselessly she left her room, and was still pacing up and down the verandah some fifteen minutes later, her mind nowhere at peace. Thoughts of Bella and James had crowded in to add to her confusion. Their chance of happiness would be in tatters if she didn't give in to Severo; he had made that very plain. Yet strangely, as

  her thoughts leapfrogged on to Doña Eva, it was thoughts of that kindly lady that gave her the greatest compunction. A sigh escaped her as she saw again Doña Eva's face as she had bidden her goodnight. There had been love in that tired face for the girl she thought would soon be her granddaughter by marriage.

  Doña Eva's face swam before her, her own growing affection for the old lady smiting her. She remembered the teatime sessions they had spent together, Doña Eva not holding back, treating her like one of the family. Oh, how could she be the cause of adding to the grief she was already going through? It would be like spurning that ready love that was there for her—like stabbing Doña Eva in the back.

  And suddenly, a ton weight lifting, Reggie knew she couldn't hurt her. At last she knew what she was going to do. She turned, ready now to go back to her room, her decision made. Perhaps now she might get some sleep.

  A figure coming out of the shadows had her stifling a squeak of alarm. But even in the darkness she knew that tall figure. 'How long have you been there?' she demanded, not at all happy that if he had been there any length of time, he couldn't have avoided witnessing her pacing up and down as she wrestled with her conscience.

  `Not too long," was the obscure reply as he came up to her. 'The beauty of the night drew you out of bed, did it?' he asked suavely.

  She bit down hard one or two not very polite names she would have called him. Beautiful night it was, the dark sky lit by numberless stars, but she didn't doubt he knew full well what was keeping sleep from her.

  Unspeaking, she stood about a foot away from him, saw a firefly dart by, and realised then that since he was not making any attempt at conversation he had guessed the mental ferment that had been with her since that first

  morning at the estancia had come to a head—the floor was hers.

  Tension suddenly sprang up between them. She could feel it, almost touch it. And for all Severo's outline looked as cool and relaxed as ever, she knew he felt the tension too.

  She opened her mouth, and it was out, her first intimation that she was likely to back down from her shouted, 'I am not, repeat not going to marry you!' of this afternoon. `If I marry you . . .' That was all he wanted to hear.

  In a movement he had taken her arm and was escorting her into the garden, away ,from the house. Amidst the fragrant smell of night-scented stocks where they couldn't be overheard, he dropped her arm, deliberately trying to rile her, she thought, by prompting:

  `You were saying—when we marry . .

  `I was saying if I marry you,' she answered tightly, determined to let him know she was in charge of the 'if, though privately conceding that he had a stack of aces in his hand. 'Then—then how—long will I have to stay married to you?'

  `Waiting for Clive?' His voice was sardonic in the darkness.

  That did it. That really did it. Why did he have to keep bringing Clive's name into it? Reggie wished she had never told him about Clive. She turned, ready to storm indoors. If Severo was going to carry on in his sweet sarcastic way then he could talk to himself!

  Severo's hand caught her arm before she had taken more than a step. She halted, took a few deep breaths, conceding he was right. Running away would settle nothing. Far better to have this discussion now, then live through every day as it came, including her wedding day, until such time as she could get away and fly home to England.

  `I apologise for my remark.' His apology was as unexpected as was the hint of charm that came through with it that asked forgiveness. She could imagine him using such a manner as a child and getting away with murder.

  `That's all right,' she found herself saying, and tried not to get uptight again that it looked as though she was another sucker for his charm.

  `You were asking for how long our marriage would last.' His voice was deadly serious now, sombre she would have said, when he added, 'You have seen for yourself the state of Abuela's health.'

  Reggie sobered too, an ache in her heart for Doña Eva. The old lady had looked quite spritely tonight—but so had her own grandmother on occasions towards the end, nagged a little voice.

  `I know it sounds terrible,' she said quietly, 'b-but are we agreed that when—when anything happens to Doña Eva, then I'm free to leave?'

  `What makes you think I should want you to stay?'

  The cold, insolent question had her anger threatening, until she realised how very painful it must be to him, who had so loved his grandfather and lost him, to now be having this cold-blooded discussion of his grandmother's passing.

  `I'm sorry,' she apologised, when it was he who was at fault. Then, striving to be businesslike, for that was all this was to Severo, a business transaction, she asked, 'You will divorce me at the proper time?' This was a predominantly Roman Catholic country, she didn't want to wake up one day and find she had tied herself to him for life.

  `Divorce in Uruguay presents no problems,' he answered, going on to inform her, 'We must thank Jose Batlle y Ordofiez, the great reformer, for that. Not only

  did he ensure that women have equal rights, he also made divorce easy for them—women do not even have to give cause of why they wish for a divorce.'

  She was relieved to hear it, and to her mind that just about settled everything. She was about to go in when something else occurred to her, and was out before she could dress it up.

  `One other thing—this marriage,' and having started she had to go on, 'Well, I mean—nothing like—like what happened this afternoon will—er—happen, will it?'

  `You are suggesting I cannot wait to get you into bed?'

  That mocking note was back. But this time she wasn't going to storm off until she had the answer she wanted. Though if he followed up and said, 'I thought you enjoyed it,' the way he had about her ride on the stallion, she didn't give her temper any great chance of being held down.

  `Will it?' she demanded between her teeth, holding on tightly.

  As though the idea of him ever wanting her as his bed partner was something that amused him, he covered his laughter with a sigh, and misquoted, 'Always the best man, never the groom.' Then as she stubbornly refused to budge until he had answered properly, he said, For ten thousand a man might expect a little—er—home comfort, but I can just as easily play away from home.'

  Irritated by his reference to the money, irked to know he thought her no better than Bella where money was concerned—though that was the first time she admitted Bella had a less loveable side to have taken the money at all—over the top of that, Reggie discovered she didn't like at all that Severo could so openly intimate that when it came to other women, marriage wouldn't restrict him at all.

  She started to walk back to the house, wanting to shrug

  his hand away when it came to guide her as the name Señora Gomez, not heard in over a week, shot into her head. She nearly did pull away, but a picture of herself in an undignified heap if she fell over, a distinct possibility in the darkness, had her allowing his hand to stay on her arm. He could go to his other woman, why should she care?

  But once on the verandah thoughts of the unseen woman who had had him dropping everything to go with her on that day of her arrival had her tugging herself free. She would have gone to her room then without another word had Severo not instructed:

  `Be s
ure to change into another nightdress before you go to bed, querida.'

  `What?' she was startled into asking.

  `It is a dewy night. The hem of your night attire will be more than a little damp.'

  In her room Reggie was silently fuming. Even in the darkness had he missed nothing of what she was wearing? It was of no help to see the hem of her nightdress was soaked.

  The click of her bedroom door had her eyes coming open, realisation waking with her that with so much on her mind she had certainly slept well. Then the noise that had awakened her had her sitting up, the shoulder frill of her nightdress slipping down one arm.

  `Good morning, querida.' Coolly Severo came away from the door and before she could order him out, 'Good, I see you took my advice.'

  `Advice?' She wasn't fully awake yet and she blinked, followed his eyes and saw he was appreciating the top half of her in her fine covering. 'How did you know that . . .' she broke off, realising he couldn't possibly know she had changed her nightdress, but that she had just confirmed it for him. Her lips firmed as his grin got to her.

  I

  Hurriedly she righted her frilly shoulder strap, dragging the covers up past her bosom, thinking resignedly that she had as much chance of ordering him out and him actually leaving before he had said what he had come to say as she had of being an astronaut.

  Without wasting further time, he came and sat down on the edge of her bed, dipping his hand into the jacket pocket of the suit he was wearing, then handed her a bundle of notes.

  `What's this?' Pride was to the fore, determining that whatever was in his mind she wasn't touching a single penny.

  `It occurred to me, since your sister forgot to give you all the details, that it is more than possible you have nothing to wear on the twenty-fourth.'

  Reggie hadn't got round yet to thinking about a wedding dress, but she realised now, for appearances' sake if nothing else, she would need a dress that wouldn't let the Estancia de Cardenosa down. From the talk at the dinner table last night it appeared that as well as family friends, every gaucho Severo employed, plus wife and children, would be attending this noteworthy date in the history of Cerros de Cielo.

  Reluctance was written all over her as she looked at the money, and saw hopelessly that she was going to have to take it. He was the piper. But in trying to overcome her pride her voice came far more snappy than she had meant as she aimed for some of his sarcasm.

  `What do you suggest I buy—something sweet and innocent in white?'

  `Perhaps grey would be a more suitable shade.' Had she hoped for an understanding of her dust-bitten pride, then there was nothing but hardness there, as he slammed into her, 'We both know Clive took from you the right to wear white—or wasn't he the first?' She was still wincing

  from the unfairness of his remarks, gall rising, when he commanded, 'Get dressed, I'll take you into town.'

  `Go to hell!' she flared, determined to buy black, black, black. 'I'll go with Lola.' Then she shrank back. Severo was on his feet looking ready to throttle her.

  `Dios! One of these days, Regina Barrington,' he threatened, seeming to be keeping his -distance with difficulty, 'one of these days I shall take great pleasure in settling with you.' You and whose army? she wanted to retort, but didn't dare, he looked so flaming. 'If Lola's car is out of action I damn well will take you!'

  He was determined one way or another that she was to be kitted out then, Reggie fumed, as the door slammed after him. But once she was washed and dressed her determination to wear black faded. Apart from her promise to Doña Eva, she just didn't think she had the nerve.

  Lola, in the middle of washing when telephoned, was thrilled at the idea of going on a shopping expedition, saying her temperamental car was behaving beautifully at the moment, but her washing machine was playing up. `I shall have to wait for it to finish now I've started. I'll pick you up in about an hour.'

  Reggie insisted she would walk down, their friendship having progressed so that Lola agreed, laughing, 'Come now—you can make us an early coffee while I finish off.'

  Grinning herself, Reggie felt more light hearted for having spoken to Lola. Having selected her most comfortable sandals, she picked up her bag and went outside.

  The Volvo parked on the drive was one she had not seen before, vehicles of callers to the estancia ranging from bicycles and motorbikes to other makes of car. But it was the slim dark-haired woman standing not far away in conversation with Severo who drew most of her interest. She looked to be in her thirties, was 'elegant, and—as a

  dart of unrecognised emotion pricked—to her mind proprietorial, if the way she was hanging on to Severo's arm was anything to go by.

  For appearances' sake Reggie couldn't ignore Severo. No one must guess at what they really felt for each other. Though oddly, at that moment Reggie would have been hard put to it to define what emotion he did arouse in her.

  `I'm just off, darling,' she addressed his back, for some reason wanting to break up what the woman was so earnestly saying to him.

  The dark-haired woman, beautiful, she saw, up close, though not liking her hard eyes, looked startled at the interruption, and Reggie's lips tightened that whatever was going on, the woman didn't have the grace to remove her hand from Severo's arm when she must know Reggie was his fiancée.

  Just at that moment Severo turned. Reggie 'admitted her interruption was rude and out of character, but from the speculative look in his eyes she wondered if she had straightened her face fast enough. He had once accused her of being jealous—laughable idea—but that narrowing of his eyes told her something was going on behind the smile that suddenly appeared.

  `You haven't met Manuela have you querida?'

  He knew damn well she hadn't. He'd been keeping her tucked away, hadn't he? Reggie's thoughts were mutinous as she went through the motions expected of her. Manuela Gomez's handshake was of the limp lettuce variety, though she too, by the look of her, had been properly brought up and said how delighted she was to meet Reggie at last, being too much needed at home to get over too frequently.

  But Jorge, my husband,' she explained, 'and I wouldn't miss your wedding for anything.'

  Soon after Reggie excused herself, walking quickly down the drive, Severo's, 'Don't overtire yourself, querida,' ringing in her ears. The idea that the two were having an affair took root, refusing to move. Manuela Gomez had been all over him!

  Oh, she had been right to suspect something was going on. Just who did they think they were fooling? She had seen that secret look Manuela had given him when it had seemed he was about to offer her a lift to Lola's. Manuela had been quick to butt in, 'If we could get back to my place as soon as...' She hadn't had to finish, Severo's soothing, 'Of course, Manuela,' told Reggie her appearance was an unwanted intrusion. Jorge, she decided, poor sap, must be out for the day. No woman would be so blatant as to take her lover into her home when her husband was there. Though remembering Manuela Gomez's hard eyes, she wouldn't put that past her.

  As ever in Lola's company Reggie cheered up, and the twenty miles to the nearest town of any size were soon covered. Lola knew where to begin their search and was helpful in suggesting, when Reggie saw a rather nice short dress, that perhaps a long one might be better. She saw then that Lola knew exactly what was expected of a Cardenosa bride, and went along with her suggestions. This whole day was more for Doña Eva's benefit than her own anyway, so why not?

  She hadn't got so far as thinking about a veil, but when Lola spotted the most exquisite mantilla of fine lace, it was then that she dug her heels in. It seemed to her that almost from the moment she had set foot on Uruguayan soil she had lost sight of her own identity. That all the blame for that could be lain at Severo's door was indisputable, for until she had met him she hadn't been aware of having this short-tempered streak in her, this demon anger that had her regularly itching to take a

  swipe at him. Before coming here she had always been totally in control of her person—admitted, there was a cert
ain weakness where Clive was concerned, but never, ever had she felt like hitting him. Even when he had told her he was married she had taken it without anger. She was numbed, stunned, she supposed, and dragged her mind back to Lola who was still singing the praises of the mantilla.

  `I—er ' The last thing she wanted to do was to

  upset her friend, but if she had to go through with this wedding—and what other choice was there?—then suddenly, with a determination that wouldn't falter, she knew she wanted some part of her own identity in there somewhere. She was an English girl after all, not Uruguayan. 'I rather fancied the sort of veil I would be wearing if I was being married at home.'

  Straightaway Lola was on her side. 'Of course you do,' she said, giving her arm a light squeeze to show she wasn't offended that the mantilla she so much admired was being rejected, apologetic herself for not thinking, and was in rapid conversation with the sales assistant, who spoke no English, before Reggie could draw another breath.

  They were both tired at the end of their expedition. Lola insisted on driving Reggie up to the estancia but refused her earnest invitation to come in for refreshment.

  `Some other time,' Lola apologised. 'I'd better get back and tidy up a bit before Francisco comes home.'

  Reggie stayed on the drive to wave her away, her tiredness lifting as she thought of Severo's face when he saw her in her demure and innocent white complete with veil. Hugging her purchases to her with something akin to glee, she went to her room and was soon visited by Juana asking if there was any service she could do for her.

  `Nothing, thank you, Juana,' Reggie told her in her