The Gate Thief

by Orson Scott Card

  “Bummer,” said Hal. He was back in the circle now.

  “Who cares?” asked Sin. “It’s just a rock.”

  “He wants us to be able to carry gates around with us,” said Pat. “So we can stick a finger in a gate and be somewhere else.”

  Sometimes she surprised him. Sour as she was, she was always thinking. Maybe when you don’t care whether other people like you, you have more brainspace for analysis.

  “Well, there’s no reason it shouldn’t work,” said Hal. “Whether you went through a Great Gate or not.”

  “What do you know about magic?” said Xena contemptuously.

  “What I know about is physics,” said Hal. “Basic, elementary, pathetic, every-semi-educated-moron-should-know-it-level physics.”

  “Xena slept through the physics unit in eighth-grade science,” said Laurette.

  “Danny always attaches his gates to small moving objects,” said Hal. “He’s never done anything else.”

  Danny looked at the gate he had just made, the mouth and tail of it, and couldn’t figure out what Hal meant.

  “The surface of the Earth is spinning one complete revolution per day,” said Hal. “At the equator, that means it’s moving at a thousand miles an hour. Here, it’s about eight hundred miles an hour. The Earth is also moving around the sun at sixty-seven thousand miles an hour. So when Danny’s gates seem to stay in the same place, they’re really moving incredibly fast—so they’re attached to something.”

  “You said ‘small moving objects,’” said Laurette.

  “Compared to the Sun, Earth is a small moving object,” said Hal. “Compared to the galaxy, Earth is a blip. The only reason we think it’s big is because we’re even smaller.”

  “Thanks for the info, Science Boy,” said Xena.

  “Like he said, everybody knows that,” said Wheeler.

  “Oh, you had sixty-seven thousand and eight hundred miles an hour sitting there in your brain?” said Pat.

  “No, but I knew that the Earth spins completely around once a day,” said Wheeler. “And I knew it went all the way around the Sun once a year. That means it’s a seriously fast-moving object. Duh.”

  “If you’re so smart, how fast is the solar system moving around the center of the galaxy?” Pat asked Hal.

  “Four hundred eighty-three thousand miles an hour,” said Hal.

  “And how fast is the Milky Way moving toward Andromeda?”

  “That’s impossible to say,” said Hal, “because they’re moving toward each other and there’s no stationary point of reference.”

  “The whole galaxy is moving one point three million miles an hour, compared to the CBR,” said Pat triumphantly.

  “What’s the CBR?” asked Sin.

  “Cosmic Background Radiation,” said Hal, “and that’s not what you asked, Pat, you asked about how fast the Milky Way was moving toward Andromeda.”

  “This is all so sad,” said Sin. “While other boys were memorizing football players’ stats, Hal was memorizing the stats of astronomical objects.”

  “I wonder if Earth will make the playoffs this year,” said Laurette.

  “And you girls memorize what George Clooney eats for breakfast,” said Wheeler.

  “That walking fossil?” said Xena.

  “The cast of Twilight, then,” said Wheeler.

  Apparently the girls couldn’t argue with that one.

  It was no secret that Hal was smart. And Pat was the smartest of the girls. And Danny knew all this stuff too—he knew everything he had ever read. The difference was that Hal had realized it applied to this situation.

  “I get the point,” said Danny. “I’m attaching the gates to a point on the surface of a spinning, moving object, so there’s no reason I can’t attach it to a pebble except that the pebble is smaller.” Danny gazed steadily at the stone, trying to figure out how to attach a gate to it the way he had attached the gate to a spot in the air above the stone.

  Meanwhile, Sin had a question. “How do you wizards or whatever you are, how do you know we don’t have magic?”

  “Don’t talk to him, he’s making gates,” said Laurette.

  “We don’t know you don’t have magic,” said Danny. “Our blood has been mixing with the rest of the human race for thousands of years, so you probably have some Mithermage ancestry.” He tried to hold the image of the stone in his mind and create a gate solely in relation to the stone, not distracted by any other surrounding feature.

  “So send us to Westil,” said Sin. “Maybe we’ll come back with superpowers.”

  “Yeah,” said Hal.

  “Cool,” said Wheeler.

  Danny’s concentration broke. He was impatient with himself, but they only saw that he was annoyed.

  “Sorry,” said Laurette.

  “Stop distracting him!” said Xena protectively.

  “Why don’t you hold it in your hand and really focus on it?” asked Pat. “Disconnect it from the ground.”

  Laurette handed him a stone. Danny took it, bent over it, stared at it, made a gate.

  He moved the stone a little to the left.

  The mouth of the gate moved with it.

  It was that simple. Remove the pebble from its context, concentrate a little, and he had an enchanted stone.

  “You look happy,” said Xena. “Does that mean you’re thinking of me naked?”

  “It means he attached a gate to the stone,” said Pat. “We all try not to think of you naked.”

  “So … what now?” asked Hal. “You give us each a stone to use if we need to make a quick getaway?”

  “A stone’s a lousy idea,” said Laurette.

  “Why?” asked Danny. He had thought it was a pretty good idea.

  “First,” said Laurette, “what if we drop our stone? How could we tell which one was ours, except by brushing our hand against it and taking off like Hal just did? And then we still don’t have the stone—but maybe whoever was chasing us finds it and follows us.”

  “Don’t drop the stone,” said Wheeler.

  “Right, like none of us ever drops anything,” said Pat.

  “Second,” said Laurette, “suppose somebody handcuffs us and searches us and finds a stone in our pockets or purses or whatever? How many people our age carry rocks around?”

  “Okay,” said Danny, “Not a stone. I was just learning how to do it, and there are plenty of stones.”

  “A ring,” said Sin.

  “A nose ring,” said Xena. “Then every time you blow your nose, you’ll transport somewhere.”

  “Or you sniff and you get sent to the moon,” said Wheeler.

  “‘One ring to rule them all, one ring to find them,’” intoned Hal. “‘One ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.’”

  “Are you saying we’re on Sauron’s side?” asked Wheeler, a little angry.

  “Sauron doesn’t have a side,” said Danny. “You forget, the Families are all the gods, all the fairies, all the elves and ghosts and werewolves and poltergeists and everything. Good and bad, the Families are on both sides of everything. There’s no good or evil with them. Just … whatever they feel like doing, and have the power to do it.”

  “That sounds like as good a definition of evil as I’ve ever heard,” said Pat.

  “Well, look what I just did,” said Danny. “I felt like attaching a gate to a stone, and when Xena suggested that I really focus on it, then I could do it. Was that evil?”

  Pat shrugged. “Depends on whether you throw the stone at some other high school’s quarterback and jump him ten yards back and drop him on his ass.”

  “That’s just a prank,” said Wheeler. “Can you do it?”

  “He wouldn’t need a stone,” said Hal. “He could just do it.”

  “And it would be evil,” said Pat. “Hurting somebody else just for the fun of it.”

  “So was it evil when I messed with Coach Lieder?” asked Danny.

  “A little bit maybe,” said Pat.

>   “But mostly funny,” said Hal.

  “And he deserved it,” said Wheeler.

  Danny remembered the men he had terrified into submission out over the Atlantic, and then stashed in a jail. They were murderers, or meant to be. They deserved worse than he had done to them. But it didn’t make him feel all that great about the fact that he had the power to torture them like that. And that he had just done it, the moment he thought of it.

  “Something you already carry with you,” said Danny. “And I’ll try to put the gate on it in such a way that you don’t just accidentally pop through it. So don’t give me your wallet.”

  “Wheeler can give you the condom he always carries,” said Hal. “He’s never going to use that.”

  Wheeler glared at him. “They gave it to me in fifth grade. It’s like a rabbit’s foot, I’m not going to use it, it’s older than my dick by now.”

  “Ew,” said Laurette. “You made me think of your weenie.”

  “Said the girl with the constant cleavage,” said Wheeler.

  “Please,” said Danny. “Something you carry but you don’t touch, but you could get to it in an emergency.”

  Pat already had a tampon out of her purse.

  “Our turn to say ‘ew,’” said Hal.

  “Every girl carries them and nobody thinks anything about it,” said Pat.

  “I don’t,” said Sin.

  “I carry extras,” said Laurette, getting two tampons out of her purse.

  “Then I am using my condom,” said Wheeler, reaching into his pocket.

  “I don’t carry a purse,” said Sin. “What am I supposed to do, tuck it behind my ear?” She handed the tampon back to Laurette.

  “You don’t carry a spare just in case?” asked Laurette.

  “I’m never early and I’m not afraid of a little blood anyway,” said Sin.

  “Are you afraid of a little vomit?” asked Hal. “Because this is making me sick.”

  “Welcome to girlville,” said Pat. “But since you’re never going to have a girlfriend or a wife, it won’t matter if you’re squeamish.”

  “What if I’m rummaging in my purse for something else and I brush against it?” asked Xena, looking doubtfully at the tampon she was holding. “And should I unwrap it?”

  Danny took it out of her hand.

  “He’s touching one,” said Hal.

  “Girl cooties,” said Wheeler.

  Danny studied the thing. Squeezed it. Pushed his finger against the end. “Just give me a second,” he said.

  He made a really tiny gate completely inside the end of the tampon. He tossed the tampon around on his hand and nothing happened. But when he pushed his finger into the end, he jumped through the gate—this time only a few inches away. But it still made him lose his balance.

  “Oh, a three-inch gate,” said Pat. “That’ll show ’em. ‘Better be nice to me or I’ll move another three inches!’”

  “I’m just testing,” said Danny. “You have to push your finger into the end before the gate will work.”

  “What happens if you forget which one is the gate and you use it?” asked Hal.

  “I thought you didn’t like talking about messy girl stuff,” said Laurette.

  “I can’t help what pops into my head,” said Hal.

  “Please tell me you’re not picturing me using it,” said Pat.

  “Well now I am and thanks so much,” said Hal.

  “I don’t have anything that isn’t hard and shiny,” said Sin.

  “Your lip gloss,” said Pat.

  Sin pulled a tiny canister out of her pocket. “It’s hard and shiny,” she said.

  “The stuff inside is black and squishy,” said Pat.

  “I can put the gate down inside,” said Danny.

  “If you hide a gate in here I can’t use it and my lips will get pink,” said Sin.

  Laurette pulled a stub of black licorice out of her purse. “Here, it’s black. And it’s squishy.”

  Sin took the licorice and studied it. “What century was this made in?”

  “It’s old, it’s black, and it’s gross,” said Laurette. “Nobody will be surprised that you have it in your pocket. Or does your mother wash your jeans?”

  Sin gave a disdainful toss of her head. “Washing is so bourgeois.”

  Ten minutes later, they all had something flexible with a tiny gatemouth inside it. Three tampons, a licorice stub, a condom package, and a lion-shaped eraser that Hal had in his pocket.

  “Why a lion?” asked Sin.

  Hal shrugged. “Got it as a prize at the dentist one time.”

  “And you carry it with you,” said Sin.

  “Lost a tooth, got a lion,” said Hal.

  “It’s Aslan,” said Wheeler.

  Hal looked really angry.

  “Stop it,” said Danny. “Have some loyalty, Wheeler.”

  “He told about my condom,” said Wheeler.

  “So if one of us pisses off another one of us, then suddenly we’re all about getting even?” asked Pat. “Oh, that’ll work.”

  “We don’t tell each other’s secrets,” said Laurette. “And we don’t make fun of each other.”

  “Does that mean I can’t mention your cleavage, ever?” asked Danny.

  “We don’t make fun of things that matter,” said Laurette. “Making fun of my cleavage is just another way of telling me that it’s working.”

  “I think that’s a good rule,” said Danny.

  “We all make fun of how Laurette shows her boobs?” asked Xena.

  “We don’t make each other feel bad,” said Danny. “We don’t tell each other’s secrets to outsiders.”

  The others agreed.

  “All of your gates,” said Danny, “they’ll take you here. But there’s a chance one of the Families will find out about this place, so when you get here, if it’s an emergency, just reach out to this tree.” Danny showed them the one. “And here under this branch, there’ll be another gate. Can you all reach it?”

  They all proved that they could, even Xena, whose arms weren’t all that long.

  “Where will that gate take us?” asked Pat.

  “Someplace far away. Someplace where I’ll put a stash of money and a weapon. You’ll never have to use it, but it’ll be there, in case somebody’s following you through the gate.”

  “So you don’t have any idea yet where it’ll go,” said Pat.

  “I’m thinking Disney World,” said Danny.

  “A weapon in the Magic Kingdom?” asked Sin. “That’s just wrong.”

  “I’ll find someplace safe, where I can stash a weapon and nobody will find it,” said Danny. “For now, though, I’ll make it lead to a place in DC. And then I’ll make another gate there and show you all where it is, so you can get back to Buena Vista but in a different place.”

  “So we can try it out? It’ll just be sitting there and if we want to go to DC we can use it?” asked Wheeler.

  Everybody looked at him. “Once,” said Danny. “You can try it once, to show that you know how to use it. But if you do it any other time, somebody might see you and then they’d know. It only works as an emergency escape if nobody knows, and that means you never use it. If you want to go to DC I’ll send you there.”

  Wheeler laughed nervously. “This is really, like, serious and all.”

  “I thought you already understood that,” said Danny. “If you stay friends with me, if you help me, you’re going to be in real danger. And you’ll need a real escape route. But if you want to beg off, then do it now. Let’s not go any farther. I can leave this school any time. Without me here, you’re safe. You haven’t been seen doing anything yet.”

  “No,” said Xena.

  “We’ll be good,” said Hal.

  Only Wheeler said nothing.

  They all waited.

  “I feel like I’ve already totally screwed up and you won’t ever trust me no matter what I say,” said Wheeler miserably.

  “I’ll trust you until y
ou do something that shows me I shouldn’t,” said Danny.

  “But I’m an idiot,” said Wheeler.

  “I told you he knew it,” said Sin to Pat.

  “I mean, I forget stuff. I blab stuff without thinking.”

  “Well, don’t,” said Danny. “That’s all.”

  Wheeler nodded miserably. Then he suddenly disappeared and there he was over by the tree. He put his finger up where the next gate was going to be.

  “Wheeler,” said Danny. “You can’t get away from me that way. Every gate I make is a part of me. I know where they go, and I know when people go through them. I also haven’t put a gate in that tree yet.”

  “I just wanted to see if you had taken away my gate,” said Wheeler.

  “If I ever do,” said Danny, “I’ll tell you. Or I’ll take away the condom.” At the thought, he made a small gate that swallowed the condom even though it was in Wheeler’s hand. He made it plop onto the ground in the middle of the group.

  “Wow,” said Wheeler. “You can take it right out of my hand?”

  “No, I did that,” said Xena.

  “Really?” asked Wheeler.

  “He really is an idiot,” said Pat.

  “Wheeler, I trust you,” said Danny. “Now trust me, too.” But in his heart, Danny knew that he would never really trust Wheeler. Would never send him out to deliver a message or run an errand more serious than buying sodas or picking up pizzas. Because his first instinct had been to use his gate carelessly. To test Danny. He doesn’t know how to keep a promise.

  They’re all young. Maybe none of them do.

  But he was in high school. These were the friends he had.

  And it was cool that he could attach a gate to an object. I’ve made enchanted amulets, even if they are just tampons, licorice, a condom and a little-kid’s eraser. No magic writing on them, nothing but a tiny gate embedded in them. It made him feel clever and powerful.

  And there was Xena’s hand on his arm again. He liked it there. He didn’t pull his arm away.

  Then he remembered that he didn’t actually feel any attraction to Xena.

  That was before she was attracted to him. Now she was very attractive.

  I’m such a teenager myself, thought Danny. He remembered Lana, Ced’s wife back in DC. How she made him feel. Xena was much nicer than Lana, and a lot less crazy. What if Danny had a girlfriend for a while? Not somebody who would seduce him and mock him for succumbing. Not a succubus. An actual girlfriend.