Most Unsuitable Wife

by Clemmons, Caroline

  "Mornin', Ma'am.”

  She watched the corners of his eyes crinkle and his smile shine out of sparkling chocolate eyes.

  "Good morning to you, sir.” She spoke directly to him, pretending to ignore his glowering companion.

  The taller man continued to gape at her. What on earth was wrong with him? Had he no manners at all?

  Movement across the road caught her attention. She spotted the two worthless Ainsworths loitering about with that evil Jug Eggers. Inwardly she cringed, but kept herself straight and tall. She dared not let Jug know how he frightened her.

  Pearl figured those three hooligans would make trouble for her, maybe even tip over her cart again. Well, she vowed to prevent that. Precious flour and sugar spilled across the road would do her no good.

  She saw that stocky brute Jug nudge Willard Ainsworth before he yelled.

  "Lookee here who's come to town all by herself, and her friend the sheriff ain't even around.”

  Willard moved his rotund form and stepped into the road. His brother Burris followed him. The two of them reminded Pearl of plump roosters. Burris' Adam's apple even looked like a wattle. Between them, she thought, they didn't have as much sense as one rooster.

  "Let's just see what ol'e Pine Tree Pearl, The Pig Girl, has for us this mornin'.” Willard smacked his lips and ran his tongue over them before he repeated the tormenting rhyme they'd used most of her life.

  "Pearl, Pearl, the tall pig girl,

  Pine tree Pearl, the pig girl."

  Willard slapped his leg and chortled, "I sure would like to sample me some of the pig girl's bacon--or grab me her pine cones."

  Burris and Jug laughed as if stupid Willard made clever remarks.

  Pearl stopped her cart. Her right hand slipped into her pocket and gripped her pistol. She made a shooing gesture with her other hand.

  "You three just get away and leave me alone. I'm warning you, now. Didn't sittin' in jail a few days teach you anything?"

  "It made us awful lonesome, if'’n you know what I mean. Oink, oink, you big ol' pig girl." Willard spoke as the three moved closer, spreading out as if to surround her.

  Jug made a calling gesture with his broad hands. "Why don't you come with us. We'll just step over to my place and show you a good time. Even a pig girl needs some romancin' in her life."

  "Ha.” Withdrawing the revolver from her pocket, she motioned the three together. "You wouldn't know romance if it poleaxed you."

  "We could teach you the ways of men and women. You'd be plum grateful to us 'fore we were through. You come with ol'e Jug and we'll get us a room over Roxie's Place."

  "Even if I was that stupid, which would make me the stupidest woman in Tennessee, Roxie won't let you set foot in her place and you know it.”

  She almost shuddered at the thought of Jug's arms around her. Though no taller than she was, his huge arms dangled to his knees and reminded Pearl of the picture of a big ape she'd seen long ago in one of Mrs. Cummins' books.

  Jug stretched a grimy finger toward her. "Why don't you share some of your Granny's gold with us and we could all go somewheres real nice? Wouldn't you like to go to New Orleans?"

  With her free hand she pointed to herself and the faded and mended dress. "Can't you fools see the way I'm dressed? Do I look like I have a bunch of gold from my Granny? Dresses like this and our little plot of land are all she had to leave me.”

  She took a step toward the three men and waved the gun. "Now you get away from here and let me alone or I'll shoot the three of you so full of holes, you'll leak water ever time you take a drink.”

  Burris put up a hand and whined, his Adam's apple bobbling as he spoke, "Aw, Pearl, you don't want to be pointin' that there gun at us. We was just havin' some fun."

  "Your last 'fun' near ruined me. You wasted a hard day's baking, and it took my brother a whole day to repair my cart. I hope the three of you rot in hell for the cowards you are."

  Jug snorted. "Damn, I don't know why you call him your brother. Sonofabitch ain't nothin' but a half-breed, and a bastard at that.”

  "Ooh, that does it," she growled at them and cocked the gun. Jug's statement pushed her fury ahead of her caution. "Quit talkin' and start walkin'.” She fired two shots into the street, one on each side of Jug's feet. He was the man nearest her and by far the most dangerous of the ruffians. Dust flew up, and the men turned and ran.

  She yelled at their retreating backs, "Now you stay away from me, and don't you be goin' toward my place neither.” None of the three even looked back when she yelled, but disappeared around the corner of the nearest building.

  From her other pocket, she took two bullets. With shaking fingers, she replaced the spent cartridges. That done, she slid the pistol back inside her pocket, firmly grasped the handles of her cart, and walked away from town.

  She refused a backward glance at the two men standing in front of the jail or the curious townspeople on the street. Her knees wobbled like jelly and she trembled something fierce inside. Never would she let anyone in this stupid town know how terrified she felt right now, nor how often she felt that way.

  Sheriff Evan Cummins tore around the corner of the store, yanking his suspenders up on his shoulders. He rasped out, "I heard shots! What was that ruckus about?” He must have run all the way from his house in the trees behind the store, for now the gasping man stopped and bent with his hands braced against his knees. "Are you okay, Fannie Pearl?”

  She patted his arm, his brown eyes level with hers. He hadn't even combed his hair today and his thin salt and pepper wisps blew in the light breeze. She had to help herself and this dear man.

  She closed her eyes and pushed the fear deep inside her. "I'm fine. It was the Ainsworths and Jug making mischief again. I--I'm sorry, Evan. I lost my temper and shot at their feet."

  "You got to be careful, girl. You're just giving Higgins and the pastor more fuel against you when you do things like that."

  "You're right.” She sighed, then spoke with quiet desperation. "Lord help us, I've got to get away from here. And it has to be soon."

  "I know, girl. I know.”

  She worried for the sheriff. His breath still came in gasps through lips tinged blue against the gray pallor of his face.

  He gasped out, "Soon as I find out who's terrorizing you and threatening anyone who tries to buy your place, we can get you away."

  She would never confess to Sheriff Cummins she thought him well past the ability to do any real peace keeping or detecting. She knew he did his best, and that he alone protected her and her family. Best to change the subject.

  "You're taking the thornapple syrup I made for you, aren't you?" She frowned with concern. "Have you been taking it and drinking the tea?"

  "Yes, yes, I'm doing just as you said.” He waved a hand of dismissal. "Won't make me any younger, though. Get on home now, Pearl, and take care."

  "I have a sick call to make first. Mr. Wilson hurt his arm real bad and the kids have the croup, but I'll get on home after that. You take care, too, Evan.”

  Pearl pushed her cart toward the edge of town, but paused at the corner to watch Evan greet the two strangers and take them into his office. As she turned, she saw that pompous Pastor Fayne Upperly and his bony stick of a wife Dessie Mae storming down the opposite side of what passed for a street. The couple glared at Pearl as they drew even with her, but continued toward the sheriff's office without speaking. They were probably on their way to complain about her again. More trouble for her, Sarah, and Storm. More bother for Evan.

  Pearl regretted her earlier burst of temper, but she had to defend herself against idiots and ruffians. It seemed she couldn't control her temper lately. Her nerves were on edge since Granny died three weeks ago and all the extra meanness started. And Belle staying with her family only gave people like the Pastor more cause to condemn them. With a sigh of resignation, she started on her way, her cart rumbling.

  I have to get my family away from this place. Soon.


  * * *

  Drake stood mesmerized by the sight of the woman's bold gaze as she passed him. A prickle of unknown origin raised hairs along the back of his neck. When she had boldly met his gaze, he felt thunderstruck.

  She had violet eyes. They pierced right into a man, as if she saw deep into his soul.

  Then he watched this lone woman face down three polecats. When Lex would have stepped to her assistance, he stayed him with a word and a hand to his cousin's shoulder. Oh, he almost rushed to her assistance himself--until he saw the pistol. It was then he decided to see what she would do.

  That she had faced these same men in similar situations many times became obvious. Why hadn't some of the other people in town come forward to help her? To speak up for her? To her? Only the storekeeper and the sheriff even conversed with her. What kind of crazy place had he come to?

  Damn. She had violet eyes.

  Her sunkissed face provided a perfect contrast to her jewel-toned eyes. Dressed in a ragged brown sack of a dress far too large for her and pushing a strange cart full of packages, she was without doubt the most unusual woman he had ever seen.

  The little toss she gave her head as she walked away sent that thick plait swinging with a tantalizing swish back and forth across her hips. Sunlight turned the wisps of hair escaping her braid into a halo around her head. As regal as a queen in spite of her ragged dress and bare feet, she intrigued him beyond all reason.

  Those men called her "pine tree" and "pig girl.” Her height no doubt caused the reference to a tall, strong pine. But why the other? Not because of her looks. Her features certainly were not porcine. Maybe her family raised swine.

  She had violet eyes. Imagine that?

  * * *

  Sheriff Evan Cummins saw the two men waiting outside his office in front of the jail. He suspected he knew the identity of at least one of them. Well, if so, they had arrived none too soon. He pulled out his keys and walked up the street toward the men.

  When he reached the door, he fitted the key in the lock and gave it the extra jiggle it needed. "You may as well come inside to state your business.” He pushed the door wide and motioned the men ahead of him.

  The taller of the two swept off his hat and stuck out his hand. "Drake Kincaid, Sheriff. This is my cousin Alexon--uh, Lex Tremont."

  Evan smiled with pleasure. "You'd be Rob Kincaid's grandsons then? I had a letter from your grandfather just a couple of days ago. Said you might be headin' this way. Real treat to meet you both. How in the world is that old renegade?"

  Both men smiled broadly and Drake answered, "Strong as an ox and mean as a bear with a sore paw. We stopped by to pay our respects."

  "And to offer our thanks to you, also.” Lex nodded. "Grandpa often says we wouldn't be here, or anywhere else for that matter, if you hadn't saved his hide."

  "Works both ways, boys. Many's the time he saved me, too. Lordy, but didn't we chase old Santa Anna out of Texas?” He couldn't suppress a chuckle, though it made him cough. "Couple of wild ones, we were, young and feisty. It purely is a wonder we survived at all.”

  He addressed Drake as he looked him up and down. "I truly would like to see Rob again, but you look the spittin' image of the man I knew. Be patient while I tend to a few matters, then we can have us a good long talk."

  Evan poked the embers of the fire in the pot-bellied stove and added some coal before he started coffee.

  "Though we haven't seen one another in a long time, Rob and I keep in touch with long letters. I feel like I know both you boys almost as well as I know my own daughter."

  With a last poke at the coals, he turned to start his coffee. "I keep a pot going all day. Folks claim by evening the brew's so thick and strong a spoon will stand straight up in the cup. That's the way I like it. If a man wants water, he should drink water. If he drinks coffee, then by damn it ought to taste like coffee."

  No sooner was the pot brewing than the door slammed open. Fayne Upperly, Pastor of the Church of the Fount of the Blessed Word, ushered his wife inside. Thin as a rail, Dessie Upperly made a perfect contrast to her husband's potbelly.

  Evan thought Dessie's mouse-brown hair looked pulled so tight into her bun her face must hurt. Could be that's why her sour expression matched that of her prune-faced husband. Evan sighed and resigned himself to another lecture on the sins of Pearl Parker.

  "Sheriff, as God-fearing, law-abiding citizens, we are once again lodging a complaint against that Parker woman.” Fayne pounded his fist into his hand as he spoke. "We just spoke to the mayor and he is in agreement with us."

  Evan held up a hand. "Now, Pastor, you're not in the pulpit here. No need to preach at me."

  Dessie Upperly thrust a finger under Evan's nose. "Now that Nancy Parker is dead, those young people have only Nancy's lawless granddaughter to guide them. You saw her yourself, shooting off a firearm in the middle of town at eight in the morning. She shouldn't even carry a handgun. I ask you, what sort of example is a woman like that for young folks?"

  The sheriff tried to quell his rising temper. "I'd say she's a good example, Dessie. And Nancy Parker never helped her granddaughter when she was alive. I'm sorry to say, I don't see how my cousin Nancy dyin' could do more than lighten Pearl's load.”

  He took a deep breath and continued. "Pearl Parker works hard to make a living for herself and those under her roof, she helps a lot of folks with her medicines, and she minds her own business.”

  He emphasized the last phrase, wishing he could say something more terse. Being a public servant definitely had its disadvantages for putting people in their proper place.

  Dessie gasped. "Well, if you think practicing witchcraft and harboring a--a common harlot under her roof in sight of two youngsters and--and strutting around town toting a pistol and firing it at our citizens is setting a good example, then you are no better than she is."

  "She has my permission to carry that gun. The woman travels alone all hours of the day and night to doctor folks. And helping folks with herbs and such is not witchcraft. In case you've forgotten, Pearl learned her doctorin' from my own good wife. And a better woman never lived, may she rest in peace.”

  Dessie screwed her face up like an apple left too long in the sun. "We haven't forgotten, Sheriff, nor have we forgotten the story of how that woman came to be named after your wife. She's not fit to raise young folks, I tell you.” In a perfect imitation of her husband, she pounded one gloved fist into her other hand. "The Higgins are willing to take Sarah and that Storm person into their home and give them a good Christian upbringing, even though the boy is a heathen."

  Evan snorted in disgust. "The fact that Merline Higgins is ailin' and Billy Joe is just plain lazy wouldn't have anything to do with their so-called generosity, would it?” His temper bested him and his voice rose.

  "If you think those kids would have a decent life with the Higgins, you are sadly mistaken. In case you've forgotten, the slaves have been freed. Now get on back about your own business and leave enforcing the law to me.” He waved a hand of dismissal at the pastor and his wife.

  Fayne Upperly bristled with indignation and thrust his weak chin into the air. "It was only with a good many reservations I supported you in the last election. Now it's clear you are not fit for your job. I'll be speaking with the town council about recalling you from office."

  "Suit yourself. Just leave me be now," he thrust a gnarled finger at the couple. "And you two best leave Pearl and those in her home alone. As long as I'm still sheriff here, I'll arrest anyone who bothers her or hers, and that includes you two."

  After the angry couple left, Evan sank in his chair and put his hands on his desk. He sighed and, with his right hand, massaged the muscles over his chest. "Welcome to Pipers Hollow."

  Drake sat in a chair near the wall. Lex pulled the one remaining chair near the desk and flopped more than sat, stretching his long legs out before him. He grinned at the lawman and asked, "This just your usual day here?"

  "I'm afraid so.” Eva
n massaged his left shoulder and worked down his arm. Each time the pain went further along his arm and the tingling lasted longer.

  Drake looked concerned. "Are you all right? Your color's downright gray."

  He felt gray inside, too. "Give me a few minutes, and I'll be fine. Damn, but I'm gettin' too old for this job. I'd love to quit and move to Chattanooga. My daughter's been after me to come live with her.”

  Evan pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. "Lordy, but I'd love to have nothing more to do than sit on Mary Alice's front porch and rock while I spin yarns for my grandchildren.” Even the thought cheered him.

  Drake frowned. "Sounds like a great idea. What keeps you here? Why not leave and do just that?"

  "You saw that incident out front, didn't you? I can't leave till I get that young woman and her family far away from here. I just haven't been able to think of a way, short of taking them to Chattanooga with me.”

  "Wouldn't that work, at least temporarily?" Lex asked.

  Evan shook his head. "Mary Alice and her husband just barely have room for me. They don't have room for Pearl's brood for more than a day or two."

  He paused, trying to gather his thoughts and calm his breathing. "I guess I'm a little shaken by that encounter with the pastor. No doubt town council members are already hearing the preacher's latest version about the need to replace me."

  He saw the two younger men exchange concerned looks before Lex asked, "You mean everyone in town is like those two?”

  "No, no. Some of the people hereabouts are good honest people. They mind their own business. But there's a few, like the so-called good pastor and his wife, who are spiteful and blind where Pearl's concerned.”

  Evan leaned back in his chair and looked from one man to the other. It was so good to have Rob's kin here, to speak frankly for a change. "Damned if they don't take what's good about Pearl and twist it to make her look bad. Then they worry with it, like a dog with a bone, and get folks all riled up over nothing.”

  He rubbed again at muscles that betrayed him more and more often of late. No amount of rubbing could fix what was wrong inside, so he turned his attention back to Drake and Lex. "Well, boys, enough of my problems. Tell me about your grandfather and why you're here."