Biker Chick

by Dakota Knight

“Hey, girl, what brings you out to the Meadows? Living in the ’burbs got you down?” she teased.

  I couldn’t hold back anymore. I broke out in tears, crying hysterically. Dymond pulled me into the apartment and closed the door. “What’s wrong?” she asked.

  “Something . . . Something is wrong with Ray!” I cried out.

  “Shhh. The kids are taking a nap.” Dymond lowered her voice for emphasis. “Calm down and tell me what happened.” She pulled me over to the couch and forced me to sit down.

  I didn’t hold back. I told her about my conversation with Ray. I hold her how his voice changed and how he ended the call. Then I told her about the next phone call and the man with the deep voice telling me, “Erase your existence from Ray’s home . . . Ride off with your motorcycle. . . Please take this seriously. That’s all.”

  I could barely speak when I told her about my frantic search to get out of my house. Dymond listened and nodded with understanding, as though she had heard it all before. “Could be feds or locals, or both, you never know,” she said matter-of-factly. “But based on what you’ve told me, I would say that law enforcement is definitely involved.”

  “What could have happened? Ray is always so careful,” I asked.

  “No one on the wrong side of the law is safe from the cops,” Dymond reasoned, looking at her watch. “Shit, for us, even folks on the right side of the law aren’t safe,” she said sarcastically. “Look, it’s almost five, we can watch the news and see if we can get some information. If something big went down, it’s bound to be on one of the antenna channels, if not all of them.”

  I nodded and Dymond turned on the television. It was a plasma widescreen, forty-two inches, I think. We sat down in the front of the television. My heart was still raging, and I was still breathing heavy. At that point, I don’t think I’d been so scared in my life. I heard more sirens calling my name. I glanced at the door, knowing that any second, the law enforcement Dymond talked about would be rushing through the door and reading me my rights.

  No one ever came to the door. Soon, the cheesy music announcing the newscast came on. “It’s about time,” I mumbled. Dymond nodded in response. She had been right. The answers to some of my questions came quick, as in the lead story for the five o’clock newscast. But I was left more worried than ever.

  A thin-faced, blond-haired news anchor’s face filled the scene. Her nasal voice grated in my ears as she reported the news. “News at Five. The Columbus Police Department has busted one of the largest drug and crime rings in Columbus. In a sweep of Columbus’s east and west sides, police made seventy-five arrests and netted record amounts of marijuana and cocaine, along with a large amount of money and a cache of weapons.”

  I cringed when I saw a parade of shaded black faces of dudes being led into the back of paddy wagons and police cars.

  The anchor continued, “During the sweep, there was a shootout with police at a house considered to be a stronghold of the drug ring operating on the east side.” Dymond squeezed my hand. “In the melee, several suspects were shot, although there are no reported fatalities. One police officer was also shot, but his injuries are not considered to be life-threatening. Sharon Goode, spokeswoman for the department, says that this bust will definitely impact the flow of drugs into the city: ‘Today we sent a loud message—stay out of Columbus, or we will bring you to justice.’ We’ll have more information at six.”

  Though no one’s name was mentioned, I knew that Ray was involved. Some of the faces on the television screen were definitely familiar. Based on what I had seen and heard, I knew that Ray had at the least, been arrested. If he was involved in the shootout, then he could have been shot. And I knew I was scared.

  “That’s him, girl, he could be shot and in the hospital.” I buried my head in my hands, crying.

  Dymond put her hand on my shoulder. “Girl, don’t worry. He probably just got arrested. I mean, didn’t you say that deep voice dude called you right back? That doesn’t sound like he was involved in a shootout. Girl, he’ll be out on bond in no time. But you do have to be prepared for anything. Shadow got arrested twice, and there was some shit I had to deal with that you might have to deal with too.”

  “Like what?” I asked.

  “First, do you have a cell phone?”

  I nodded. “Of course I do.”

  Dymond reached out her hand. “Give it to me.”

  I reached into my bag and gave her the cell phone.

  “We have to destroy this,’ Dymond said seriously.

  “What are you talking about?” I tried to take the phone from her, but she raised her hand so I couldn’t reach it. “Are you crazy, what if someone calls with information about Ray. What if he calls me?”

  “This phone is toxic. You would be surprised how much the cops can get from this little thing.” She shook the phone in her hand. “If you need to be contacted you will be. Believe me, someone knows exactly where you are.”

  Dymond rose from the couch and walked the short distance to her small kitchen. She reached inside of a drawer and pulled out a hammer. “Believe me, no one else is going to call you on this phone,” she said as she crushed my phone with the hammer. Another thing lost on a day of many losses.

  After she put the pieces in a grocery bag, she returned to the couch. “Okay, we’re gonna have to spread this in a couple parts of the city or find a big dumpster.” She handed the bag to me and I held it like it was my child.

  Then my brain started working. I had finally figured out what had been nagging me right after I left the house.

  “Oh my God!” I shouted out. “I’ve got to go back!” I jumped from Dymond’s couch and headed for the door.

  “Go back where?” Dymond asked.

  “I’ve got to go back to our house,” I said, fumbling with my helmet. “I’m so stupid. I can’t believe I forgot . . .”

  Dymond rushed to me and stood in front of the door. “Are you crazy?” she asked. “The cops could be crawling all over your place by now.”

  I shook my head. “No, you don’t understand, I’ve got to go.”

  Dymond grabbed my shoulder. “I don’t want to slap you, but you’re talking real crazy right now. You cannot go back. And I’m not going to let you go back.”

  I pulled away from her and said, “Girl, in my rush to get out of there, I forgot one of the things that matter most to me—my journal!”

  Dymond’s eyes widened. “Oh, no!” she exclaimed. “Where did you leave it?”

  “I think I left it on the bed.” I put a hand up to rub my ever-tightening chest. “Oh my God. I can’t believe it.”

  “Girl, I know why you want to go back, but you can’t. It’s too dangerous.” She looked me in the eye. “You didn’t put anything . . .”

  I understood her stare.

  I buried my face in my hands and trembled. “I just free flow, you know. I’ve only been writing in it for a couple weeks, but I don’t know what all I wrote in it.”

  “Damn,” Dymond mumbled. “Well, girl, I don’t think you would have put that much in there. Don’t worry about it.”

  I smacked my lips and said, “Please, Dymond. That man wouldn’t have told me to erase my existence for nothing. And what’s left is the most intimate part of me. I might as well have left my head there for the cops to greet them so they wouldn’t have had to bust through the door.” I looked toward one of the windows and then stared down at the bag I held in my hands. “What am I gonna do?” I asked, more to myself than to Dymond.

  “Look, girl, you’re just gonna have to hope for the best. You ain’t never done nothing wrong so they don’t got nothing on you. Ray knows how the game works, just like my Shadow did.” Dymond’s voice trailed off and her eyes watered. I knew that she still missed Shadow, and would always miss him.

  “But everything that I have, everything that I was, is at our house. I don’t have anything.”

  “You got me, Crys, just remember that.”

  I smiled, finding some b
it of comfort in her words. “I just wish I knew how I was going to make it,” I said.

  “I know how you feel. When I found about Shadow, I felt lost. I felt like dying. I thought that I was all alone. I was in my bed for days, almost wanting to join Shadow. But then I thought about the kids. I had to take care of them. They didn’t ask for the life they had and I made a promise that I would make it better for them. At the time, I didn’t know that Shadow made sure we’d never be totally broke. What he left for us though, I’m saving that for the kids. I’m making my own way, and I want to make sure they have the means to make their own way.”

  Dymond sighed and wiped her tears before continuing. “See, girl, I decided that I was going to survive. I knew I was going to make it, and I have . . . so far. Things may not be exactly where I want them to be, but I got some goals, and I’m trying, one day at a time. So, what you gonna do?” she asked before answering the question for me, “You gonna survive, dammit, ’cause that’s all you have to do.”

  I nodded before bursting into tears. Dymond reached to hug me. I cried on her shoulder, trying to empty my body of the fear that had overcome me. Despite it all, I wasn’t really confident that I could survive at all.

  Part Four Metamorphosis

  Adaptation is the essence of survival.

  —Highlights from The Hustler’s Handbook

  Everything has a price . . . everything.

  —Highlights from The Hustler’s Handbook

  Chapter Eighteen

  For with each winter comes a spring . . .

  At first, I didn’t think I could make it. Within hours of seeing the news report on television, my worst fears were confirmed. Ray was one of the people picked up in the police sweep. For once, I didn’t shed any tears. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to. I was in a state of shock. I couldn’t even think straight. There was some good news though. Ray wasn’t involved in the shootout. But the news reporter had it wrong. Two members of the Cruz and one police officer had died as a result of the shootout. The city prosecutor was trying to charge everyone that was arrested inside the house with murder. Since Ray wasn’t at the house when he was arrested, at least he didn’t have that to worry about.

  Based on Dymond’s advice, I didn’t try to contact Ray or visit the Franklin County Municipal Jail, where he was being held. “If you try to make any contact with him, they’ll try to snatch you up and question you for hours,” Dymond told me. She said the same thing happened to her one time when Shadow had been arrested on drug possession charges and she went downtown to visit him.

  “Girl, they set me up good,” she said. “They let me go in and visit him, talk for a couple of minutes, and tell him good-bye and that I loved him. But as soon as I tried to walk out of the door, two big ol’ cops got in my way. They told me an investigator had some questions for me. They had me hemmed up for five hours.”

  “How did you get out?” I had asked curiously.

  “Girl, they didn’t have nothing on me. What could they do? I don’t know why they thought hovering over me and threatening my freedom was going to make me break down. I had to play it like a baby. I started bawling and sobbing and shit. I got hysterical. They backed off. Maybe they started feeling sorry for me. Soon, they let me go.” She shrugged her shoulders and said, “I mean, we from the Meadows, right? I ain’t trying to lose life and limb for no police, feel me?”

  I nodded.

  So, as the days passed, I kept a low profile. It wasn’t hard because I didn’t feel like leaving Dymond’s apartment. I would lie on the couch, watching soaps, Oprah, Tyra, Maury, and Rachel Ray. Every now and then, I would look out of the window and have the urge to return home. I just wanted to pass by our house, to see if the dream me and Ray shared was still alive. Each day, the urge grew stronger. I had to fight myself.

  “I think I’d feel better if I just passed by it,” I told Dymond. “It’s been a week and a half. I don’t think the cops are still over there.”

  Dymond twisted her lips and said, “You’re stupid if you do go over there. You’ve seen the news. They’re cracking down on everyone’s game ever since that dude got sliced on Main Street.”

  Dymond had found out through her connects that the real reason the cops had been so hard on the Cruz was because a prominent Columbus businessman had been killed on the east side two nights before the crackdown. He had done a lot for Columbus, and was a big supporter of the police department. Officially, the news reports called it a robbery. Unofficially, the streets said he got carved like a turkey after supposedly picking up a prostitute. Seems that ho belonged to Dennis Monchats, the kingpin who controlled the Cruz. So, the cops wanted payback and were trying to show Monchats who really ruled the streets of Columbus. Even I knew who would win that fight in the end.

  “I’m not going,” I said. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to go. I mean, I didn’t do anything wrong.”

  “Doesn’t matter. They’ll try to snatch you up for anything, hoping they can get something from you.”

  I lowered my head and frowned. “If they got my journal,” I mumbled, “they may already have something from me.”

  “Hey!” Dymond shouted out, causing me to look up at her. “Stop thinking like that. Remember, we’re thinking positive about the journal.”

  I still couldn’t remember how much info I wrote about Ray’s ‘true’ business. The fact that it wasn’t blazing in my mind was comforting, and I had almost convinced myself that I couldn’t have written much, if anything at all. But I wouldn’t be entirely happy until I saw my journal again.

  “Maybe you do need to get out of here, girl. Why don’t you hop on your ride and roll around the Meadows or something?” Dymond asked.

  An image of Foxy Baby flashed in front of me. My steel was parked outside, covered up for protection. I shook my head and said, “I’m not ready to ride, just yet.”

  “Why not?”

  I shrugged my shoulders. I didn’t know how I could explain it. I just didn’t feel right riding when I didn’t even know how Ray was doing.

  “Well, you at least need to take a walk or something. The boys are going to think you’re a piece of furniture if you stay in one spot much longer,” Dymond said, smiling.

  I smiled back and said, “What’s wrong with being a piece of furniture?”

  We both laughed, but mine was more of a forced giggle. I almost wished I could stay in one place, not having to worry about what the future would bring. Once again though, Dymond was right. I couldn’t stay in her apartment forever.

  “You’re right. I do need to go out. Maybe I’ll check out some of our haunts.”

  “You should, girl. I know you’ll feel so much better.”

  I didn’t leave the apartment until the next day. I woke up early, after Dymond went to work and the kids were in day care. I spent a long time in the shower, and spent even more time dressing. My thread selection was limited since I didn’t have much time to grab a lot of clothes, so I had to make do with a white tee and my Apple Bottoms.

  The hot summer air surrounded me like a blanket. Even though it was mid-morning, it was already steaming, and I could feel the sweat forming on my skin. I hadn’t even reached the street, and I was ready to head back to the air-conditioned coolness of Dymond’s apartment. I decided to press on. I passed by Foxy Baby, placing a hand on my ride and nodding. Soon, I thought, I would be able to ride again.

  Kids were already outside ready to play the day away. Once again, I wished I could be among them, without a care in the world. I kept walking, past the brick apartment buildings of the Meadows, past the tall grass and weeds encircling the apartments, into the neighborhood that surrounded them.

  Eventually, I ended up back in Maryland Heights. It wasn’t a long walk, but I felt like I stepped into a different world. I walked faster, hoping I could whip up the air enough to cool my face. A couple minutes later, my old house was in view. When I reached the driveway, I stared at the one-story house. It still looked good, and wh
oever was living in it made sure the lawn was looking good. They had also added beige siding and replaced the windows. Despite the changes, I could still see the outline of my former home.

  As I continued to stand in the driveway, staring at the house, thoughts of Mom flashed in front of me, and I longed to hear her voice, even if she was screaming at me. At that moment, I wished I could call her, but she didn’t leave me with a phone number. She gave me her address, and told me I could come out to California when I was ready to do something with my life.

  “Don’t even think about coming out there if you still hanging with the Cruz and messing up your life. I don’t want to hear it or see it,” Mom told me seriously. Our relationship had been strained since I told her I wasn’t going to college. I didn’t think we’d ever talk again until she contacted me and told me to come over to her house. But she quickly reminded me that the only reason she contacted me at all was to let me know she was leaving; and she “wouldn’t feel right” if she just left without saying good-bye.

  “So, you’re not even going to give me a phone number to contact you?” I had asked, almost in a state of panic.

  “I know how to contact you if I need to. I figure you’ll be up under Ray somewhere.”

  “So, you’re basically abandoning me, right?”

  Mom laughed. “Abandoning you? You’re an adult now. I’ve done all I’m obligated to do for a child that keeps reminding me she’s grown. Now, you’ve chosen not to go to college. Hell, you don’t even have a job. I even felt more comfortable when you were out there hustling your purses and movies.”

  “I still plan on going to school,” I said sincerely, hoping to convince her.

  Mom smacked her lips and said, “Okay, when you’re on break, with a report card, come on out to Alameda to visit me and Gregory and we’ll talk.” Mom actually walked to the door and opened it. “Well, if that’s all, I’ll be seeing you. I’ve got a lot of things to do.”

  “What is this, tough love or something? Are you trying to prove a point? I can’t believe you’re serious.” I had gotten frustrated, and my rising voice couldn’t hide it.