Death

by Rosie Scott

  The last words had come out so thick they nearly choked me. Azazel walked over to my side and squeezed me close to him like he couldn't help himself, much like I had done so many times to him. “Kai...” he murmured, his voice concerned and humble.

  “Do not make me cry, Azazel,” I teased him lightly, even as my eyes watered with emotion. I wiped at them before I went on, “This is my war, but throughout it I have tried so hard to make all of you happy. I've made mistakes. I've tried to grow from them. I can be imperious and stubborn and destructive. I acknowledge that. My ego sometimes makes my head so big I can't fit through doorways.” I paused as some of my friends chuckled. “But whether you believe it or not, I make most of my decisions with you in mind. Because I care about you. You all have dedicated yourselves to these goals of mine, and I want to do right by each of you. And I ask you to tell me if you think I am misguided or if you are unhappy. I promise to listen to your concerns and do everything in my power to make you happy.”

  When I was silent for a moment, Maggie said, “I don't mean to be rude to that nice lil' speech ya gave, Kai, but it seems like you're just reiteratin' what we already know.”

  I swallowed hard and replied, “It's hard for me to say some of these things out loud, Maggie. I want to make sure you know them before we cross into Chairel.”

  “I understand ya,” Maggie acknowledged, smiling warmly down at me. “I never said ya said some a' these things, 'cause ya haven't. But you're more of an actions kind'a gal, and you've told us all this before by showin' it.”

  Azazel spoke up, “You do right by each of us, Kai. You are a born leader. We may tease you about your ego, but it has given you the confidence to accomplish everything you have and attract people like us. I don't think it's a negative trait. The few times it has concerned me, I've spoken to you about it. You've listened and you've taken steps to address my concerns. If you were arrogant with no care to any of our opinions, it would be a problem. But you listen to us all, and you've respected every request I've ever made of you.”

  Nyx raised a hand as if waiting to be called on. “And to be honest, I like arrogance in a person. There's just something attractive about it. You're so sure of yourself, Kai. Even when we were just teenagers. It's part of why I liked you to begin with. Like Azazel said, I wouldn't worry about it. There have been times when your stubbornness drove me crazy, but you've been doing much better at listening to our concerns over these past few years.”

  “That used to drive me crazy, too,” Cerin admitted, though his eyes were full of nothing but love. “But honestly, every time you ever forged ahead with one of your ideas, you succeeded. I think that stubborn side of you is necessary. It allows you to push forward to do things most people have aversions to, and that's what gave you so many victories. If it were up to my decisions, you never would have fought in the Battle of the Gods, and you never would have destroyed Narangar's harbor. But that's why I'm not cut out to make those decisions and you are. A lot of our success was possible due to that stubbornness.” Cerin hesitated and chuckled. “Now, that's not saying I want you to make decisions without our input, just that I hold no resentment toward you for the past.”

  “I'm with Nyx,” Holter spoke up, a youthful smile on his face as he explained, “I like the big ego thing. It's charming.”

  Nyx chuckled beside him and said, “And this is why it continues to grow. We are enabling it.”

  Holter shrugged lightheartedly and said, “If Kai were meek, I wouldn't want to follow her.”

  “There'd be no one to follow if that were the case,” Azazel replied. “History isn't made by the feeble.”

  I waved my hand toward myself in encouragement as I said playfully, “Go on. Keep talking.” After my friends laughed, I went on, “I didn't mean to bore you all with my sentimental speech. I just don't like feeling vulnerable, so I don't open up about a lot of this to you. But I feel it's necessary to say now. Our greatest challenge lies before us. Whether we all make it through to the end or not, I want you to know I am so grateful for each of you. I promise to protect you with my life in the fight for Chairel and then as its queen.”

  HUUURRRNNNNN!

  The war horn pulled our attention back to the army stretched over the grasslands below us. Cyrus held his war horn in one hand, and he waved wildly toward us with the other.

  “That's our cue,” I announced.

  After walking past tens of thousands of troops, my Seran Renegades and I joined the rest of the leaders. Calder smiled at me from around a ferris cigarette, and Cyrus stood alongside his Sentinels as an equal, still wearing the same armor. Cyrus had often been overworked and stressed throughout the past few moons while he prepared for this day, but now that it was finally here, he seemed relieved.

  “Here we are, Kai,” Cyrus said, sweeping his arm across the view of our armies. “Did you ever imagine you would make it this far?”

  “Of course,” I replied, “or else we wouldn't be here.”

  Cyrus laughed softly. “Well, I'm glad we are here. I am honored to be beside you. I'd like to say I share your confidence, but I have to admit that I feel like I'm in a dream. We've talked about this day for years, and now that it's here, I can't believe it.”

  “It's been a long, arduous journey,” Uriel added, smiling warmly at me before his gaze moved mischievously over to Cyrus. “My king.”

  Cyrus chuckled and rolled his eyes. “It will be one hell of a journey for me to get used to hearing that, for sure.”

  “That's why I like to say it as much as I do,” Uriel teased his friend. “I like making you cringe.” Beside the healer, his lover Hakan chuckled. Over the past few moons under Cyrus's new rule, Uriel and Hakan had spent much more time together. Cyrus made it clear that he had no intention of splitting the two up, which had always been Uriel's fear under Tilda's rule.

  “It'll be weird to be beside my ruler in battle,” Zephyr mused jovially. “I spent two hundred years fighting for Tilda and never saw her outside of that blasted throne room.”

  “Yes, but be honest,” Uriel murmured with one light eyebrow raised playfully. “Would you have wanted to?”

  Zephyr abruptly laughed once and blurted, “Nope!” Beside her, Dax chuckled at her admittance. Though Zephyr said nothing more on the subject, she raised her eyebrows at Cyrus with a look of rapport. Tilda's assassination had brought the remaining Sentinels closer together. There were no secrets left between them, and the simple fact that they were no longer ruled by a woman they rarely agreed with took a weight off of their shoulders.

  Zephyr finally pulled her attention to me and grinned. “I'm glad we're here with you, Kai. Considering everything that's happened over the past few years, it's a miracle. I'll fight hard for you just as you've fought hard for us. We are at your command.”

  “Thank you,” I told her, letting my eyes travel over each of them. “Thank all of you so much for being here. Your support means the world to me.” I pointed over their heads to the southwest where the great Cel Forest hid just out of sight over miles upon miles of vast plains. “Our first destination is the city of Celendar.”

  Cyrus and his Sentinels separated to lead their individual armies, and Azazel assembled our men to have them file behind us. The ground quavered as multiple varied armies moved into position to begin our march. Calder's army was the only one that gathered with little rhyme or reason. As the king of the underground walked up beside me amid a cloud of ferris smoke, masses of Alderi swarmed over the grasses behind everyone else, content to follow the rest of our units with no semblance of formation.

  Just before we left Fremont for good to invade Chairel, Calder flipped the butt of his latest cigarette to the ground. “All right, love,” he said, his rough voice accompanied by bursts of smoke as he squashed the drug into the long grasses with a worn, laceless boot. “Let's make history.”

  With that, Arrayis trembled as our massive army crossed over Chairel's easternmost border with no intention on coming out until the count
ry was mine.

  Seven

  The trip to Celendar would take a full moon. Within a week of travel, we could already see the forest. It revealed itself as a smudge of deep green on the horizon which bled into the sky the farther we walked. If we hadn't known a giant woodland laid in that direction, it could have confused us into thinking the plains were turning into rolling hills. I'd never seen a forest whose splendor could be witnessed many weeks ahead of reaching it, but then again, Celendar was considered a majestic place by all who visited it.

  Other than the teasing hints of the Cel Forest to the southwest, nothing but rolling grasslands stretched out in every direction. Long grasses waved by in the early New Moon breezes, and the weather turned warmer the farther south we traveled, leaving the greenery to glimmer gold in direct sunlight. There was an unmarked path of trampled grasses from traveling traders and civilians that connected Hallmar and Celendar, but as our massive army followed it, it left the track many times as wide. Eventually, when half a season passed and thus half of our journey, the path forked. We came to the fork from the north, but another arm traveled from Celendar back toward Fremont, where it led to the southern reaches of the Quakes to take travelers to Griswald and Olympia. Perhaps at one time these routes were busy with travelers, but it was quiet now given the events of the war.

  Azazel and a few other archers from our armies kept us well-fed. For the first few weeks of our journey, we ate hunted boar, fowl, and foraged wild berries from patches of bushes that popped up occasionally. It was during this period that Azazel spent time with Silas. While Silas was shackled most of the time, he still traveled at the front of the armies with us due to his importance as our guide and eventual mediator. Given past unfortunate circumstances between various Renegades and Silas, I kept Uriel in charge of him. Silas loathed Nyx for her hand in the deaths of his family in the Battle of the Southern Plains. Nyx knew that any semblance of friendship she'd ever had with him was irrevocably severed, so she stayed out of his sight. In addition, I'd kept Cerin and Silas apart due to their past disagreements. Because I'd brought Azazel with me to see Silas in prison, he was the only other Renegade beside myself who had a connection to him. The two had been cordial to each other and Silas exuded such loneliness and depression that Azazel felt sympathy for him. Throughout our travels, I tried to split my mealtimes between Azazel and Silas and the others.

  One evening halfway through our passage to Celendar, I walked over to be with Azazel and Silas while I ate. The Celd held out a handful of red berries, and Azazel looked over them intensely.

  “I see no physical differences,” Azazel said, fingering through the small fruits.

  “You won't when they're off the stem,” Silas replied, picking up a berry from one side of the pile and handing it to Azazel. “Try this.”

  Azazel popped the berry in his mouth and chewed. “It's good, but it's sour.” Silas nodded, before offering him a berry that looked identical from the other side of the pile. As Azazel ate the second berry, he raised his eyebrows. “Wow. That was unique.” Azazel glanced up at me as I sat across from the two archers with a plate of boar meat. “The flavors remind me of those desserts we used to get at the tavern in Mistral, Kai.”

  I smiled at his memory. Reminiscing was a favorite hobby of mine, and Azazel was just as prone to nostalgia as me so we often recounted such things together. As Silas glanced over at me in greeting, I asked, “Those aren't gotton berries, are they?”

  Silas smiled. “They are.” Since he wasn't currently shackled, he reached to the ground beside him where a little pouch of berries sat. He grabbed it and tossed it to me. “There you are, Kai. I figured you hadn't eaten them in a while, but you always used to love them for breakfast.”

  An ache settled in my gut at his recollection. Silas had often bought me little bunches of gotton berries from the fruit merchants of Sera when we were together. I had a weakness for their flavor, for they were slightly sweet with a piquant edge not often found in berries. I'd discovered my love for them during my education at the Seran University, for the berries gave natural energy boosts and were a favorite snack among training mages. I hadn't had gotton berries since the trip to Whispermere because they were native to Chairel, so holding the fruits in my hand once again brought back many memories. The first time Silas had kissed me, he had used the berries as a playful excuse. He'd claimed never to have tried them, and since I'd just finished eating a handful, he'd kissed me while pretending it was all so he could taste the fruit.

  These memories swirled around my head as I opened the small bag to see a bunch of the red berries, freshly picked. I glanced up at Silas and asked, “You foraged these?”

  “I did.” Silas's green eyes found Uriel from over the plains. “I told Uriel it was one of your favorite snacks, so he unshackled me for a bit this morning so I could gather them. He'd never had the berries, either, so I let him try them.” Silas smiled warmly as he added, “They won him over.”

  I chuckled softly and tied the bag back up. “Thank you, Silas. You're right. I haven't eaten these in thirteen years. I'll savor them.”

  “You won't have to. They'll be more common from here on out,” Silas replied, before looking back at Azazel. “Gotton berries are native to Chairel. They are quite unique in the respect that they grow in both the plains and the forest. Hardy bushes, they are. They produce fruit throughout every season of the year and will grow in sun or shade as long as they have regular rainfall. Even if they don't, they can survive long droughts, but they won't produce as many berries during dry spells.”

  Azazel wasn't writing this knowledge down, but he never had to. He could retain details and information after only being told once most of the time. “What is the difference between these two types?” he questioned, motioning toward the fruits still in Silas's hand.

  “Ah! Sorry,” Silas huffed with amusement and put two red berries beside each other on his palm. “Gotton berries and twilby berries look identical. The differences lie in the plants themselves. Twilby bushes have thorns and grow so chaotically that their branches become twisted in themselves. Gotton bushes are leafier, and the berries grow in bunches that hang from the branches. Twilby berries grow directly off of the branches of the bush.”

  “You said both berries have extensive uses in alchemy,” Azazel added. As Silas taught Azazel about their alchemical uses, I quietly ate my dinner while listening to their conversation. It wasn't long before Cerin wandered over, done with his own meal. He eyed Silas carefully before plopping down beside me on the grass. It was the first time he'd risked being in Silas's presence since the battle.

  “You looked so lonely over here,” Cerin commented, leaning over to kiss me on the cheek.

  “No, I'm just quiet. I know little about alchemy so I have nothing to add,” I mused, as the two archers continued talking.

  A silence fell over us as Silas noticed I no longer sat alone. Distant confliction was in the Celd's sharp green eyes as he greeted, “Cerin.”

  Cerin pulled his head up to meet the other man's stare. “Silas.”

  Silas chuckled softly, humorlessly, and looked down at his hands. “I never figured I'd be sitting around like this with you again. So much has happened, but it feels like we're right back to where we began, doesn't it?”

  Cerin hesitated. “Actually, no, it doesn't. Not for me.”

  Surprisingly, Silas nodded as he met Cerin's eyes again. “Right. I guess that makes sense.”

  “I've been avoiding you for a while,” Cerin admitted.

  “I know,” Silas replied.

  “There's only one reason we ever met,” Cerin said, glancing pointedly at me. “Regardless, in any other situation, your hatred of necromancy would have led to a blind hatred of me. I think the fact that Kai cared for me caused you to act differently in Sera than was your nature because you still cared for her.”

  Silas said nothing, so Cerin continued.

  “Our time in Sera was full of mistakes. We all made split-second d
ecisions that ended up getting us into trouble. Even so, you risked everything to give me a chance to flee Sirius's men. I've always wanted to thank you for that.”

  “That decision ruined me,” Silas murmured.

  “I know,” Cerin replied. “I'm sorry.”

  Silas shook his head, his sienna hair falling before his self-reflective eyes. “There's nothing to be sorry for, Cerin. It was my decision to give you a chance against Sirius's men, but I lied to you about Kai to get you to flee Sera. None of that would have needed to happen at all if I hadn't told Sirius you were in the inn. Selfishness shaped my decisions. You're right. I still cared for Kai. I didn't want her going down the same path you'd been on for years. Necromancers are hunted down ceaselessly like animals in Chairel. Your own story was similar. My job was to protect Kai, not you. Don't thank me for anything. My decisions weren't made for you, and when they were made for her, they were only misguided.”

  “I'm not ignorant enough to think you did anything for me,” Cerin replied. “Like I said, there's only one reason we ever met. Your intentions were to help Kai. You thought she'd be safest far away from me, so that's the decision you made. But you didn't have to give me a chance to flee. You could have marched me right up to the university and saved yourself all this trouble. But you didn't. The result would've been the same either way because I know Kai would have broken me out of that dungeon no matter what. I am not thanking you for the results of your decision; I'm thanking you for risking your reputation to give me a chance. I don't care why you did it. I'm just happy you did. So thank you.”

  Silas was quiet a moment as he thought over Cerin's words. Then he offered a simple, “You're welcome.” He looked away and added, “You've grown more confident over the years, Cerin. When we met, you'd spent years in hiding. At the Battle of the Southern Plains, you offered yourself up before I had to say a word. Now, here you are, sparking up conversation with a near stranger.”

  “You can't spend as much time around Kai as I do and not be affected by her fearlessness,” Cerin replied. “Rumor has it that she is unstoppable, and I'm the one who shares her bed. I have nothing to fear.”