The Cowboy's Family Plan

by Duarte, Judy

  But there was no way he could let Selena know all that.

  How could he when he didn’t know if his attraction to her was only a passing fancy? So he strode toward Bailey, reached for the knapsack he’d secured to the saddle and untied it. “I’ll water the horses if you’d like to set out the food.”

  As he handed the canvas sack to her, he noted bewilderment splashed across her face.

  “Would you rather I did it?” he asked. “I’ll just be a minute or two.”

  She blinked again, clearly reeling from the kiss—or maybe from his reluctance to talk about it.

  “No,” she said softly, taking the knapsack from him. “I’ll do it.”

  “There’s a tablecloth inside,” he said, as he returned to the horses.

  She glanced at the bag that had been packed with their lunch, and when she broke eye contact with him, he collected the reins and started toward the creek with both horses.

  Had he defused the situation? Or merely made things worse by leaving her confused and maybe a bit angry?

  He was tempted to steal a glance over his shoulder, but he continued toward the stream instead.

  * * *

  Rather than spread the tablecloth on the ground and set out their lunches as Alex had asked her to do, Selena remained rooted to the spot where she stood, gaping at the man who’d just kissed her senseless, then shrugged it all off as if it were nothing and walked away.

  How could he kiss her like that, turning her inside out, then pretend as if it had never happened, as if they didn’t have to broach the subject of relationships, dating or even making love?

  Her first thought was that it was just a matter of hormones and biology at work. After all, his wife had been gone for two years—unless he’d dated in the past, which she doubted. She had a feeling he might still be married in his heart, so he probably hadn’t had sex in a long time.

  Yet she couldn’t ignore what had just happened between them. So she brought it out in the open. “What was that all about, Alex?”

  His steps slowed to a stop and he turned to her. “What do you mean? The kiss?”

  “For starters, yes.”

  A slow grin stretched across his face. “You made the first move this time. Maybe I should be the one asking the questions.”

  “You didn’t fight it.”

  His grin deepened, and his eyes gleamed. “Only a fool would have done that, Selena.”

  She opened her mouth to object, then set the knapsack on the ground and crossed her arms instead. “Well, thanks for giving it the old college try.”

  “Wait a second. Are you upset?”

  Of course she was upset. And embarrassed, too.

  “Why?” he asked. “I thought you enjoyed it.”

  “I did. And unless you’re a big fat liar, you did, too.”

  “Oh, there’s no doubt about that.”

  “Then why did you just walk away as if it never happened?”

  He stood there for a moment, holding the reins of the horses, then dropped his head. When he looked up, he said, “I’m sorry. I should have addressed it, I guess, but I wasn’t sure what to say. A part of me wanted to ask if you’d ever made love outdoors.”

  She hadn’t. And with that kiss still fresh in her mind, she thought the whole idea sounded...intriguing. And far more tempting than she could have imagined. But she had to get something other than the vision of their bare bodies out in the open.

  “What’s going on between us?” she asked, determined to learn what he thought, what he might feel.

  “I’m not sure.” His smile faded, and his expression grew serious. “There’s definitely a strong sexual attraction between us. And some genuine feelings. But to be honest, I’m not sure what to do about it at this stage of the game.”

  She arched a brow.

  “Well, let me rephrase that. I know exactly what to do about it, but I’m not sure if that would be wise.”

  Her arms loosened and slowly uncrossed. “I’m reluctant to get involved with you, too. But what’s holding you back?”

  He paused for the longest time, as if he wasn’t sure if he wanted to reveal his concerns or not. Then he said, “I’d like nothing more than to date you and to see where things go. But I have some things I need to do. And I’m not sure...”

  “If I’d fit into those plans?”

  Again he pondered his answer for a beat. “No, it’s not that. You’d fit in nicely. But I’m not sure how you’d feel about dating a single father, which is what I plan to be within the next year if things work out.”

  The embryos. His plan to have his late wife’s children.

  Selena might be dealing with a growing attraction to Alex, but part of that was curiosity and maybe even envy. What she wouldn’t give to find a man who’d love her in the way Alex had obviously loved his wife.

  And look what she’d just done. She’d stepped out on a limb and kissed him.

  But how could she not? He was far more tempting than he ought to be. If things were different, she could easily fall for a man like Alex, but that would lock her into a second-place role she couldn’t and wouldn’t accept.

  So she unfolded her arms and reached for the knapsack on the ground. “You’re right. It’s a complex situation. And we really need to take things slowly.” That is, if they took things anywhere at all.

  “I’m glad you understand.”

  Sadly, she did. “You have a family waiting to be born.”

  “Are you okay with that?” he asked.

  To be honest? “I’m not sure.”

  The whole idea of dating a single dad was one thing. She would actually end up having children and a family that way. But in this case, she’d be playing second fiddle to his wife’s memory and to the children they’d planned to raise together before that tragic accident left Alex heartbroken and alone. So it wasn’t the same thing at all.

  “Let’s just take things one day at a time,” she said. “Is that all right with you?”

  Alex’s smile sent Selena’s heart hurtling through her chest as though it might disintegrate upon landing. “Okay, that’s fair enough.”

  Then he turned and walked the horses to the creek.

  But it wasn’t okay. And it wasn’t the least bit fair. The last thing in the world Selena needed to do was to fall for a man whose heart would always belong to someone else.

  * * *

  The picnic they shared—Dagwood sandwiches, oranges and homemade chocolate chip cookies—was tasty. And while they’d kept the mealtime conversation light, the memory of that arousing kiss remained on Selena’s mind for the rest of the afternoon.

  Was Alex thinking about it, too?

  She couldn’t see how he wouldn’t be, even though he appeared to have shut it out of his mind as if it had never happened. She probably ought to consider skirting emotional issues to be a fault of his, yet there was something about Alex she found appealing. And she couldn’t help forgiving him for that weakness.

  Would she ever meet another man like him someday? She certainly hoped so. She’d have to make it a point to get out in the real world more often so she would have more opportunities for romance.

  Of course, she’d certainly gotten out of the office and away from the medical center today. Riding with Alex, seeing his beautiful ranch and breathing in the fresh air had been invigorating—and just what she’d needed. There was something to the old “all work and no play” adage.

  She’d probably be sore tomorrow from her time spent in the saddle, but she didn’t care. The day had been amazing so far, and she was sorry to see the sun descending in the west Texas sky.

  When they returned to the ranch and rode into the yard, a young cowboy wearing a black felt hat, a red plaid shirt and jeans met them and approached Alex. “Hey, boss.
If you’re done with those horses, I can take them for you.”

  “What are you doing here?” Alex asked, as he dismounted. “This is your day off, Troy.”

  “Yeah, I know, but Lydia called and asked me to cover for Gus. She took him to the urgent care in town, only they sent him to the hospital. I guess he did a real number on his hand. He’s having surgery this afternoon.”

  Selena had suspected the ranch hand’s cut had reached the tendons, so she was glad the housekeeper had taken him to have it checked.

  “Lydia’s still at the hospital,” Troy added. “She plans to stay there until Gus gets out of recovery.”

  “I really appreciate your coming out here on such short notice,” Alex told the cowboy. “I’m sorry if it interfered with any plans you might have had.”

  “I was just going to shoot a little pool down at the Stagecoach Inn, but it’s not a problem. Gus would have done the same for me.” Troy glanced at Selena, then back at Alex. “So what do you say, boss? Do you want me to cool down those horses for you?”

  “Sure, that would be great.” Alex handed over his reins, then he made his way to Sugar Foot’s side and reached up to help Selena down.

  She was glad they had an audience. It might make being in Alex’s arms a little less awkward, a little less tempting. So she carefully removed her foot from the stirrup, then lifted her leg over the saddle.

  Alex reached for her, setting off a shiver of arousal through her bloodstream. So much for avoiding any awkward feelings and urges.

  “Why don’t you come inside for a while?” Alex asked. “Lydia probably has some iced tea or lemonade made. I can even open a beer or a bottle of wine, if you’d like.”

  She pondered the wisdom of accepting his invitation, but only for a moment, because it seemed that he wasn’t ready to say goodbye. And for some fool reason, neither was she.

  “Actually,” she said, brushing her hands against her denim-clad hips, “something thirst-quenching sounds great.”

  “You got it. Come on in.”

  Selena followed Alex to the back door of the house, entering through the service porch, where they both washed up at the utility sink. Then he led her to a tidy kitchen, which had been painted a rusted red color.

  It was a nice room, she decided, functional and newly remodeled, with gray faux-marble countertops, a fairly new stainless steel stove and oven, as well as a built-in refrigerator.

  Someone had gone all out on decorating the room that was central to any house. Had it been Lydia, the housekeeper?

  Or had Alex’s late wife been the one to create an efficient place to cook and to eat?

  “Why don’t you have a seat?” Alex indicated a round oak table that Selena suspected was an antique—the only thing in the room that wasn’t modern and new. “I’ll get our drinks.”

  As Selena pulled out one of the chairs, she noted the scarred wood tabletop as well as a vase that bore a bouquet of multicolored roses.

  “We’re in luck,” Alex said. “There’s sun tea on the counter as well as fresh lemonade in the fridge. Which would you prefer?”

  “Lemonade,” she said.

  As she watched him take a pitcher from the refrigerator, glasses from the cupboard and ice cubes from the freezer, she realized she’d have to use the bathroom sooner or later, especially if she had anything to drink. So she asked him where she could find the nearest one.

  “Just go through the doorway into the living room. You’ll see a hallway near the fireplace. The guest bathroom is the first door on the right.”

  She thanked him, then followed his directions, pausing long enough to study the cozy living area, with its beige-colored walls, dark wood beams and a stone fireplace. Like the kitchen, the decor in this room also bore the markings of a woman’s hand—like the red knit throw that draped over the back and the armrest of a beige leather sofa, the floral watercolor artwork, the crystal figurines on the mantel.

  Unable to help herself, Selena wandered to the fireplace, where several framed pictures were displayed. She would have checked them all out, but one in particular drew her complete attention—a wedding photo of Alex and his late wife.

  Mary Connor was a pretty bride, a wholesome redhead with a scatter of freckles across her nose and a starry-eyed smile. Alex, stunningly handsome in a tuxedo and a black bow tie, appeared to be just as happy.

  A pang of sadness pierced Selena’s heart. Alex had lost the woman he’d vowed to love for as long as they both would live. And the fact that he kept that photo in such a prominent position on the mantel was proof that he’d never forgotten her, even two years after her unexpected death.

  Was he destined to love her even beyond that?

  Selena couldn’t help but think that he was, and at that realization, apprehension flared and she was forced to face the inevitable. If Alex ever married again, his new wife would always have to compete with the woman he’d lost.

  Selena continued to study the picture longer than she should have, imagining the beautiful children the couple would have produced—the children he would actually have if he went through with his plan to hire a woman to carry those embryos to term.

  And why shouldn’t he? They were his future sons or daughters, conceived with eggs of the woman he loved.

  Realizing that she’d lingered too long and afraid that Alex would wonder what was keeping her, she replaced the frame on the mantel, then hurried to the bathroom to do what she’d set out to do. All the while, she continued to think about Alex, about the heated kiss they’d shared while out on their ride. The kiss he’d tried to ignore.

  He’d admitted to being aroused by it—and tempted to suggest that they make love.

  The tone of his voice, his expression, insisted that he’d been telling the truth. So why did he just walk away as if it had never happened?

  She’d asked him flat out, then held her breath, awaiting his answer. But his response had surprised her. He’d told her that he hadn’t known what to say.

  But why was that?

  In spite of her disbelief and skepticism at the time, she’d told herself that he’d been so swept away by his desire for more than a kiss that he’d been speechless. But now she realized it was probably more than that. Maybe he’d felt guilty for kissing her—and even more so by his physical response to it and his desire for a sexual release.

  Of course, he’d mentioned that a part of him had wanted to ask if she’d ever made love outdoors.

  She hadn’t, of course, done anything that bold before. But his question and her answer had only masked what he hadn’t come out and said.

  If a part of him had wondered about sex, what had the rest of him been thinking?

  Rather than try to second guess his reservations, Selena turned on the water in the bathroom sink and reached for the soap, hoping to rid herself of the perplexing thoughts as easily as she washed any lingering trail dust from her hands.

  One thing was for certain, though. A relationship with Alex wasn’t in the cards for her. She’d already suffered a major breakup while in college, when her first love had gone home to visit during Christmas break, only to fall in love with his high school sweetheart all over again.

  Why in the world would she want to set herself up for another failed romance?

  She dried her hands on one of the fluffy blue towels hanging on the rack, then headed back to the kitchen where she’d left Alex and the lemonade.

  She’d no more than reached the living room when she spotted Alex greeting his housekeeper at the front door.

  “How’s Gus doing?” Alex asked her.

  “He came through the surgery just fine and is in the recovery room now. So I headed home. I promised to come back and check on him tonight.”

  “It’s a good thing Selena was here,” Alex said, as he stepped aside to let Lydia
in the house. “If she hadn’t seen how serious that injury was, Gus probably wouldn’t have let a doctor check it out.”

  Lydia, an attractive woman in her late forties to early fifties, slowly shook her head and clicked her tongue. “Can you believe it? That man complained about going to the E.R. all the way to Brighton Valley. He insisted that he didn’t need any help, that he’d had worse injuries before.”

  “Gus has always been a tough old bird,” Alex said.

  “Tell me about it.” Lydia placed her black handbag on the table by the door. “When the doctor in the emergency room told him he was going to need surgery, he argued with her for a while, telling her it would be just fine. But when she explained that he stood to lose the use of his hand, if not lose it altogether, he finally agreed. But he insisted that they do it as an outpatient procedure.”

  “What did the doctor say to that?”

  “She referred him to a surgeon, who said he would have considered it, but Gus’s blood pressure was high when we arrived. They ended up doing the surgery anyway, but they wanted to keep him overnight for observation.”

  “I’m glad they’re being cautious.” Alex closed the door, then joined Lydia in the living area. “Gus never mentioned anything about having high blood pressure to me.”

  “I’m sure he never even knew it. He told me that he hadn’t seen a doctor since he’d been in the army back in the late seventies.”

  “Who did the surgery?” Selena asked, as she entered the living room and joined Alex and his housekeeper.

  “Dr. Goldman,” Lydia said. “Do you know him?”

  “He’s done some amazing work with hand injuries, so I’m glad Betsy was able to call him in.”

  “Betsy?” Lydia asked.

  “Oh, I’m sorry. The only female doctor working in the ER at the medical center is Betsy Nielson-Alvarez.”

  “Yes, that’s her. She was awesome. If I’m ever in need of an E.R. doctor, I hope she’s on call. She was good with Gus, even though he was a lousy patient.” Lydia plopped down on one of the overstuffed chairs in the living room. “I swear, Alex, I’ve never seen a more bullheaded man in my life. He probably drove his first wife crazy.”