The Cowboy's Family Plan

by Duarte, Judy

And what about the hours she kept, the nights she stayed at the hospital when one of her patients was in labor?

  She supposed they’d find a way to make it work.

  After finishing off the rest of her scrambled eggs, she lifted her cup and took a sip. Then she glanced across the table at Alex, whose brow was furrowed as though deep in thought.

  “What’s the matter?” she asked.

  “Nothing, really. I was just thinking about something.”

  It appeared to be serious enough to force a smile from his face. “What’s that?”

  He set his cup down, then looked up and caught her gaze. “You know about my plans to hire a gestational carrier in the near future.”

  She nearly choked on the mouthful of coffee she’d just swallowed. The near future? What had happened to putting it on hold for a while?

  “I was just wondering if—” he paused for a beat “maybe you’d be interested in the job.”

  Her?

  “You’d be my first choice,” he added with a smile.

  His eyes glimmered, but she didn’t find anything amusing about it. After all, she couldn’t even carry her own child, let alone carry one for someone else.

  And even if she could, did she want to be the means to an end? The uterus he needed to nurture Mary’s babies until term?

  The reality, the truth, the crushing disappointment balled up in her throat as her eyes welled.

  “What’s the matter?” he asked.

  Her heart twisted, and she blinked back the tears. “I’m sorry, Alex. I can’t do that.”

  He reached across the table and placed his hand on top of hers. “I’m the one who should be sorry, Selena. I was way out of line to even bring something like that up—especially now. Please forget I said anything.”

  She’d never be able to forget that he still intended to have Mary’s babies. Or that he thought Selena would agree to be a fill-in wife and mother.

  But rather than let him know how badly she was hurt, she forced a wobbly smile. “It’s already forgotten.”

  He paused a beat, watching her as if trying to read her expression, which she fought to keep hidden until she was ready to explain why his comment was so unsettling.

  “Are you crying?” he asked.

  “No,” she lied. “I just have something in my eye.” She blinked again, then used her fingers to rub away an imaginary lash or piece of lint.

  After a quick glance at the clock on the oven, she got to her feet. “Oh, shoot. I can’t believe this. I completely forgot I have an early appointment this morning. I need to go or I’ll be late.”

  “Is there anything I can do to help you get out of here any sooner?” he asked.

  “I wish there were.” She left the kitchen in search of her purse—and a quiet place to wipe the telltale tears from her eyes.

  Rather than slip into her bedroom, where the reminder of their lovemaking was too fresh, she hurried to the bathroom. There she tried to control her sadness until she could leave the house.

  After she’d splashed cold water onto her face, she went to find her purse in the living room, where Alex was waiting.

  “I’ll do the dishes and lock up your house,” he said.

  “Thanks. I’d appreciate that.”

  He followed her out to the car, where he bent to kiss her goodbye. She ought to object, to refuse his embrace, but she wasn’t ready to explain why their all-too-brief affair was over. So she kissed him back as if nothing were wrong, when her whole world had imploded.

  One of these days they’d have to talk about it, but not now. Not while the pain was so fresh, so intense. And not until she figured out a way to explain that it wasn’t because of the babies. She didn’t blame him one bit for wanting them. And if it weren’t for his love of Mary, she might actually be thrilled to have the chance to mother them.

  “Are you sure that comment I made about the...gestational carrier didn’t upset you?”

  “What comment?”

  He seemed relieved. And so was she. This wasn’t the time to talk about her objections, her pain, her disappointment.

  She didn’t trust her voice or her heart to provide more than a few words as an answer.

  As she climbed behind the wheel, Alex said, “Drive carefully.”

  “I will.” She shut the door and started the engine.

  As she backed out of the driveway, he waved. Just as if nothing was wrong, she lifted her hand and fluttered her fingers.

  Once on the road, she headed for the office, where she would face her patients and continue the charade, pretending that her heart wasn’t breaking.

  She wished she could say that the farther she drove away from Alex, the better she felt. But that wasn’t the case. The ache in her chest intensified, and the tears she’d been holding back slid down her cheeks, one right after another.

  Alex might have meant that kiss to be a way to end their night together, but it had actually been an end to whatever brief relationship they might have had.

  Still, as sad as it was, as much as it hurt, Selena refused to be second place in Alex’s life, to merely walk in the shadow of the woman he’d never forget.

  Chapter Ten

  Several days had passed since Alex and Selena had made love, and he had yet to talk to her.

  Not that he hadn’t tried. He’d called her on several occasions, only to leave a message on her answering machine or with her receptionist. He’d even given his name and number to her after-hours service.

  At first, he figured she was either on call or at the hospital, delivering a baby. But it didn’t take a membership in Mensa to come to the conclusion that she was avoiding him.

  He’d be darned if he knew why. Time and again, he went over the conversation that had unfolded at her house that morning after they’d slept together, trying to figure out what went wrong and when.

  That night they’d spent in her bed had been amazing. They’d even cuddled together until dawn. Things really hadn’t gone south until he’d tossed out that tongue-in-cheek comment about her being his gestational carrier.

  He hadn’t meant anything by it. He’d just thrown it out there as a way to gauge her thoughts and feelings about his baby plan. And to broach the possibility of her actually carrying his future children for him. She’d be invested in the pregnancy, in the children. But that had been too wild of an idea to ponder for more reasons than one.

  Before they’d even slept together, he’d sensed she was apprehensive about his becoming a single father. And now it appeared that he’d been right.

  She probably wanted to conceive a baby the old-fashioned way—her own flesh and blood, and not another woman’s child.

  If so, Alex could understand that. But he’d promised his dying wife he’d bring those embryos into the world one way or another. And that’s exactly what he planned to do.

  Had Selena really forgotten an early appointment at the office? Or had the mention of babies and a gestational carrier sent her running?

  He supposed he’d never know for sure unless he got a chance to talk to her. He glanced at the telephone, wondering if he ought to give it one more try. Trouble was, he didn’t want her to think he was that desperate to talk to her. After all, the phone line went both ways.

  His first thought was to say, “The hell with it.” If she wasn’t interested in him, if she didn’t want a romantic relationship, then so be it.

  But he was falling in love with her—if he hadn’t done so already. And her not returning his calls was a complication he hadn’t anticipated.

  Again he reached for the receiver, tempted to pick it up one more time, only to cross his arms instead. He’d never had to chase after a woman in his life, and he’d be damned if he’d start doing it now.

  He glanced at the clock on
the mantel. It was getting late. The last time he’d called her at the house he’d left a voice mail. It seemed pointless to leave another one when she was clearly avoiding him. Maybe he ought to just turn in for the night. He could read for a while or catch the tail end of a movie.

  As he got to his feet, the telephone rang and he nearly jumped. A glance at the caller ID told him the Brighton Valley Medical Center was on the line.

  Okay, maybe Selena hadn’t been at home today. Maybe she hadn’t received all of his messages. Or if she had, she’d probably been extremely busy.

  Or had she gotten sick or injured? He’d never even considered the possibility that she truly hadn’t been able to call.

  While tempted to snatch up the receiver in record time, he didn’t want to appear too eager, too concerned, too ruffled. So he waited to pick up until the third ring.

  “Hello.”

  “Alex?” The sound of his name rolling off her tongue set his heart on edge.

  He wanted to blurt out, What in the hell’s going on? Why haven’t you returned my calls? I know you’re busy, but... Instead, he maintained his composure and said, “Hey. How’s it going?”

  “All right. How are you?”

  Angry. Confused. Hurt. But he kept that to himself and said, “Fine.”

  “It’s been crazy busy around here.”

  Had it really?

  “I can only imagine,” he said.

  “One of the other obstetricians in town had a heart attack Sunday morning, so I’ve been covering for him.”

  A sense of relief washed through him. Okay, so there was a good reason after all. Still, it was hard to believe that she hadn’t been able to find two minutes to pick up a telephone or to reach for her cell.

  “I’m sorry for not returning your call earlier,” she added.

  So she had gotten at least one of the messages he’d left. He steeled himself for an explanation, which he wasn’t sure he’d buy, even if she offered it.

  “There’s really no excuse,” she said.

  He’d been right. She had been cooling her heels. The fact that she hadn’t had the guts to be honest rubbed against the grain, and he couldn’t help addressing the issue.

  “I didn’t expect a commitment, Selena. But after Friday night...” He paused, as the memory of their lovemaking unfurled in his mind. “Well, it seemed as though you shut me out before we had a chance to decide where we wanted to go from there, if anywhere.”

  Silence filled the line.

  Finally she said, “You’re right, Alex. I took the coward’s way out. I care about you—a lot. And it’s possible that whatever I’m feeling for you could turn into love. But I’m reluctant to get involved with anyone right now.”

  So she was giving him the brush-off. His first instinct was to pretend that it was no big deal, that it was actually a relief to him that they both felt the same way.

  But disappointment wadded up in his throat, making it too difficult to speak at all, let alone to lie or feign indifference.

  “Friday night was great,” she added. “In fact, it was all I’d imagined it would be and more. But I have no business getting romantically involved with anyone right now. My focus is on my patients and my practice. So I wanted to... Well, I thought it was best that we lay that out on the table.”

  Oh, yeah? Then he was going to take a gamble and lay it all out there.

  “It’s not your practice that’s bothering you, Selena. It’s the fact that I plan to find someone to carry those embryos.”

  Again, her only response was dead silence, which spoke volumes.

  “I admire your baby plan,” she finally said. “I really do. I think it’s awesome that you loved your wife so much, that you’re so determined to have the children you were meant to have with her. But that’s not something I want to be a part of.”

  There it was. The truth. As much as it hurt, he was glad she’d admitted it.

  “Fair enough,” he said. “If there’s one thing I value in a relationship, it’s honesty.” Even if it hurt like hell. “So thank you for that.”

  Then he told her goodbye and ended the call. After all, there’d been nothing more to say.

  Alex had not only promised Mary he’d find a way to have those babies, but he wanted them, too. He couldn’t very well hold on to those frozen embryos forever. What was he supposed to do, offer them to someone else?

  Or worse yet, destroy them?

  His stomach knotted at the thought.

  No, those kids—if they were destined to live—were his flesh and blood, his sons or daughters. And he’d do whatever he could to make sure they got the best possible chance to thrive—until birth and beyond.

  And if that meant losing Selena for good, then so be it.

  He just hadn’t realized how badly it would hurt to let her go.

  * * *

  Alex waited three weeks for Selena to have a change of heart, for her to call or to stop by the ranch and say she’d changed her mind. But when that didn’t happen, he followed through with his plan to hire a gestational carrier.

  The agreement had been drawn up by Family Solutions. And the procedure was going to be costly—$80,000 plus medical expenses. But Alex had a good feeling about the agency as well as the woman he’d hired.

  Kristy O’Malley was happily married with two healthy children of her own. Three years ago, she’d been a surrogate for an infertile couple in Wexler, so she knew what it was like to carry a child for someone else and to give it up.

  All in all, Alex was pleased with his choice and with the entire process so far.

  When he and Mary had gone through the in vitro process, it had been a nightmare—at least as far as Alex had been concerned.

  First of all, before he and Mary had realized that she was unable to conceive without medical intervention, they’d gone through the whole clinical kit and caboodle, including morning temperatures and ovulation charts. Sex lost a bit of the magic when it had to be scheduled.

  Then, after they’d found out their only option for conception was in a laboratory, the word clinical took on a whole new meaning. They’d removed nature from the equation, letting science take its place.

  The months leading up to the first implantation had been enough to make a man think he might give up sex forever.

  Well, not forever. But when push had come to shove, Alex would have preferred to have adopted a baby than to have gone through all that.

  The counselor at Family Solutions had promised him that the worst was over, as far as his part of it was concerned. And she’d been right.

  He wasn’t sure what Kristy had gone through, preparing for the implantation, but he’d only had to wait to hear that it had all gone according to plan.

  And it had. According to David Samuels, the doctor at Family Solutions, as well as Kristy, the implantation had been a piece of cake. And when Dr. Samuels called with the good news—Kristy was pregnant with both babies—Alex was thrilled.

  Okay, so he was a little insecure, too. But he planned to read books—a lot of them. And he’d ask questions, too. He’d... Well, he’d do whatever it took to be the best expectant father, as well as the best all-round daddy in the whole world.

  He just wished Selena had been willing to be a part of it all. Not a day went by—not to mention a night—that he didn’t think about her, dream about her. But she’d made her decision, and he had to abide by it.

  For the first few weeks, Dr. Samuels had monitored the pregnancy. Once everything appeared to be on track, he asked if either Kristy or Alex had a preference of obstetricians or hospitals for the delivery.

  While Alex probably should have left that decision to Kristy, he was the one who’d be footing the bill. So he’d said, “How about Selena Ramirez at the Brighton Valley Medical Center?”


  “That’s fine with me,” Dr. Samuels said. “The decision is up to you—and to Kristy, I suppose.”

  After the call ended, Alex had run the idea past Kristy, and she was okay with it.

  “No problem,” she’d said. “I delivered at BVMC three years ago so I’m cool with that.”

  With that out of the way, Alex called Selena’s office and spoke to the receptionist.

  “I’m calling for Kristy O’Malley,” he said. “I’d like to make an appointment for her to see Dr. Ramirez. She’s six weeks pregnant with twins.”

  “How do you know she’s expecting twins?” the receptionist asked.

  “She just had an ultrasound at Family Solutions.”

  “Oh, I see.”

  When the woman asked about Kristy’s insurance, Alex told her he was the father, and that he’d be paying cash—up front, if necessary. The babies, of course, would be covered under his health plan.

  “We have an opening next Thursday at three,” the receptionist said. “Will that be okay?”

  It would have to be. He wanted Kristy to be under an obstetrician’s care as soon as possible. But in this case, he was also eager to see Selena again, even if it was on a strictly professional basis.

  Should he give Selena a heads-up before the appointment? Or should he just show up with Kristy in tow?

  “You know,” he said to the receptionist, “on second thought, I probably ought to make an appointment for a consultation with Dr. Ramirez first.”

  “All right. Why don’t you take that three o’clock on Thursday for the consultation. I can schedule Ms. O’Malley the following Monday at ten.”

  “That’s great.”

  Alex just hoped it would be okay with Selena. But he couldn’t think of another doctor he’d rather have deliver his babies.

  * * *

  On Thursday afternoon, a few minutes after three, Selena studied the chart her nurse had placed in the rack on the door, playing catch-up with the patient who was waiting in the exam room.

  She’d met Trina Shepherd when she’d been at the Stagecoach Inn with Alex, and the pregnant waitress was now entering her seventh month. Both expectant mom and baby had been doing well.