by Duarte, Judy
She waited for Alex to study the screen, then removed the transducer probe. After wiping the bulk of the gel from Kristy’s lower belly with a tissue, she took a step back from the table, distancing herself and doing her best to remember her place.
Alex, who’d been standing by the pregnant woman’s side, reached out and placed his hand on Kristy’s shoulder. “Thanks for giving me the opportunity to be a father.”
A twinge of envy reared its head, snaking around Selena’s heart until it ached. But she had to face the facts.
Even the hired gestational carrier, a mother of two children herself, was able to provide Alex with something Selena would never be able to give him.
* * *
Alex nearly danced his way out of Selena’s office that morning. He’d already seen the proof of Kristy’s pregnancy during the first ultrasound at Family Solutions, although he’d pretty much had to take Dr. Samuels’s word for it. But this morning he’d actually seen the two hearts beating.
Medical science was amazing, and Alex had been moved beyond measure. As he’d studied that screen, he’d tried to wrap his mind around the fact that he was going to be a father—to twins.
He had no idea whether they’d be boys or girls or one of each, but it really didn’t matter. What did matter was that he was going to have a family again, that there’d be a reason to celebrate holidays.
After Kristy made her next doctor’s appointment, Alex walked her to the parking lot, where they’d each left their cars. He wasn’t quite sure what to say to her, other than to thank her one more time, which wasn’t necessary.
“Do you have time for a cup of coffee?” he asked.
“No, I have a parent-teacher conference at the kids’ school. So I’ll have to take a rain check.”
While she got into her sedan, he climbed into his pickup. But instead of heading home, he would spend the day in town. So he drove to Babies and More in nearby Wexler. There he ordered another crib and dresser, just like the set he already had at home. The set Mary had chosen and had planned to use for their daughter, if mother and child had lived.
For a moment, he ached for what could have been. Yet he knew Mary would have given her blessing for him to move on. Why else would she have made him promise to give the embryos life? She would want them to live that life to the fullest—to play Little League, to have a puppy, to join the Girl Scouts and take piano lessons.
Once Alex paid for his purchase and scheduled the delivery, he ran some other errands, including a stop at the feed store, where he placed an order for grain. While there, he called Shane Hollister, the Brighton Valley sheriff, and asked if he had time for lunch.
“As long as we can make it after one o’clock,” Shane said, “lunch sounds good to me.”
Waiting an hour or so wasn’t a problem for a man dragging his feet about leaving town. So Alex agreed, then met Shane at Caroline’s Diner a few minutes after one.
It was nice to catch up with the Brighton Valley sheriff, who’d had a baby girl a year ago last December.
“How are Jillian and little Mary Rose doing?” Alex asked as he picked up a French fry and dipped it into the dab of ketchup he’d squeezed onto his plate.
“They’re doing great. It seems that Mary Rose was taking a few wobbly steps one day, then running the next. She sure keeps her mom and me on our toes.”
Kids certainly grew up fast. Alex remembered when Mary Rose was just a newborn. The Hollisters had thrown a party at their new house just last December, when the baby had been only a few weeks old.
“I have some news of my own,” Alex told his friend.
Shane reached for his glass of iced tea. “What’s that?”
“Remember my plan to use those embryos?”
“You went through with it?” Shane set down his glass without taking a drink. “You hired a surrogate?”
Alex didn’t see any point in explaining the difference between a gestational carrier and a surrogate to Shane. So he merely nodded and said, “The implantation was a success. If all goes well, I’ll be the father of twins next summer.”
“That’s amazing.”
Yeah, it was pretty miraculous. Even though he’d promised Mary he would do his best to see those embryos born, he hadn’t been sure of the chances. And now, almost three years after Mary’s death...
It was a shame she’d never have the chance to hold them, to mother them. But he’d have to be both mom and dad to them.
“Did you ever see an ultrasound of Mary Rose?” Alex asked Shane.
“Yes, I did. And it was awesome. I mean, I knew she was in there, but to actually see her hands and feet, her fingers and toes...” Shane slowly shook his head, a goofy grin splayed across his face. “It was priceless.”
“Yeah, well, there wasn’t much for me to see today—other than two tiny hearts beating. But I’m looking forward to watching them grow.”
“Congratulations, Alex. I know how much this means to you.”
“Thanks.” It would have meant even more to have Selena’s support, to have her understand why he had to do what he did, but Shane didn’t need to know any of that.
The two friends went back to eating, and when they’d finished, Shane tried to grab the bill.
“Oh, no, you don’t,” Alex said. “It’s my turn to pay. You got it last time.”
After settling up at the front register, Shane and Alex walked out to the curb on Main Street.
“Are you heading back to the ranch?” Shane asked.
“No, I’m going to find things to do in town until late this afternoon.”
“Why’s that?”
“There’s someone I want to see, and she doesn’t get off work until then.” He didn’t see any point in telling Shane who the “she” was. How did he explain having a crush on the doctor who would be delivering his twins?
No, there were some things a man didn’t discuss even with the best of his friends.
Two hours later, after Alex had hung out in Brighton Valley for about as long as he cared to, he headed back to Selena’s office, where he told the receptionist that he wanted to speak to the doctor after her last appointment of the day. Then he took a seat in the waiting room.
This time, when he picked up the Parents magazine, he actually found a couple of interesting articles to read.
Apparently, there were plenty of books and periodicals that held a wealth of knowledge for a man wanting to learn about parenting and fatherhood.
Too bad there weren’t any easy answers to be had for convincing a woman to give love a chance.
* * *
After Selena’s last appointment of the day, she took a seat at her cherrywood desk and returned a couple of telephone calls from patients who’d left messages with the nurse.
She’d just hung up the phone when Marge poked her head through the open doorway. “Dr. Ramirez, there’s a man in the waiting room asking to talk to you.”
“Who is he?” Selena asked.
“The guy who came in earlier today with the new patient, Kristy O’Malley.”
Alex? Her heart stalled in her chest. Why would he come back to talk to her? Did he have a question he’d forgotten to ask?
“What should I tell him?” Marge asked.
“That I’ll be right with him.”
Marge nodded, then turned away, heading for the waiting room.
Selena could have followed right behind. Instead, she opened the bottom desk drawer, where she kept her purse. Then she reached for her makeup bag and pulled out a tube of lipstick and mirror.
As crazy as it was, as emotionally risky, she checked her hair, powdered her nose and reapplied a coat of Matador Red to her lips.
Then she made her way to the waiting room to greet Alex as if it was all in a day’s work.
&nbs
p; When she walked through the doorway, he stood and greeted her with a heart-thumping grin.
Would it always be like this? Would she struggle with attraction whenever he was near?
Should she have refused to be Kristy’s doctor?
“Do you have time for a cup of coffee?” he asked, moseying toward her with a cowboy swagger. “Or maybe dinner?”
Yes. No.
“I need to talk to you,” he added.
Did he? Why?
His gaze wrapped around hers, holding her captive, drawing her into his world, to his life. And against her better judgment, she found herself waffling and saying, “There’s a coffee bar and newsstand down the street.”
Minutes later, she’d grabbed her purse from her office and was crossing the parking lot with him, on their way to The Grind.
“So what did you want to talk about?” she asked.
He paused a beat, then said, “Us.”
Her breath caught. He still considered them a couple? When they hadn’t dated in months? When she’d told him that she needed to focus on her practice, on her patients?
“I’m not sure I understand,” she said.
“I shouldn’t have to explain, Selena. What we had together was special. And I’m not buying the fact that your career comes first. I think you’re reluctant to date me because of the babies. And I suppose I can’t blame you for that.”
He thought that she considered his having kids a detriment, and that wasn’t true. The fact that Alex had a child or two wouldn’t be a problem. But she knew how happy he was to be having Mary’s children. And the fact that he was anticipating the birth of the twins was a little...
Bittersweet, she supposed. And a constant reminder of the woman he’d loved, the woman he’d lost. And a reminder of what Selena could never give him.
Her steps slowed, and she turned to face him, her hand gripping the shoulder strap on her purse as if it could tether her to solid ground. “I care about you, Alex. More than I’d like to admit. But...”
God, she couldn’t do it. She hated to admit that it wasn’t just Mary she couldn’t compete with. She couldn’t even compete with his gestational carrier.
“But what?” he asked.
“I’m not ready to take on a ready-made family,” she lied. “At least, not at this point in my life.”
His gaze searched her face as if he might be able to uncover a lie, as if he knew she wasn’t telling the entire truth. But she couldn’t reveal more than that.
She refused to be second best or to play the fool again. And dating Alex, helping him parent another woman’s children, would put her in that very position.
Everything she’d ever pinned her heart on—the old boyfriend from college, the dream of being a mother one day—had been stolen from her by fate or life or whatever. And being with Alex would only make things worse by subjecting her to more pain, more heartache, more rejection.
“Do you know what I mean?” she asked, realizing he didn’t and hoping he’d accept her decision without forcing the issue.
“Sure,” he said, his steps slowing to a stop. “I understand.”
They stood like that for a moment, at a stalemate, a line drawn in the sand. Then he nodded in the direction of The Grind. “Maybe it’s best if we pass on the coffee.”
He was right.
There wasn’t anything else to say. Not when they had no hope of a future together.
* * *
Nearly four months had passed since Selena had stood on the sidewalk near the coffee shop and told Alex one last time that she didn’t want a relationship with him, yet not a day went by that he didn’t remember their parting, the humbling moment when he’d went to her one last time, hoping for her to reconsider.
That evening was as clear now as if it had only been yesterday. He’d studied her for a beat before responding, hoping that she’d have a change of heart, that she’d hear the finality of her words and offer some hope that time would prove differently.
But she hadn’t.
She might care about him, but certainly not enough to consider getting emotionally involved with a single father.
To say that he was disappointed was an understatement. But he’d accepted her decision. And her loss.
It seemed to be par for the course. Over his lifetime, he’d lost everyone he’d ever loved. And yes, he’d come to realize that he really did love Selena. Letting her go wouldn’t have hurt him so badly if he hadn’t. So even though her decision had been painful, it had been for the best.
As dusk had settled over them that winter evening outside her office, he could have sworn he’d seen her eyes glisten while she’d told him goodbye. And he’d briefly wondered if she might have been feeling something akin to remorse or maybe even a change of heart.
But she’d stood in silence, strong and resolute. So he’d turned and walked away.
At that point, he probably should have looked for another obstetrician for Kristy, but he wanted only the best for his children—and he still considered Selena to be the top in her field.
So from that day on, he’d stayed on the ranch and let Kristy attend her routine appointments without him. And because she always called him afterward, updating him, he was okay with that. And quite frankly, it was easier to not have to face Selena every three weeks.
He had no idea how he’d handle the actual delivery, though. It was important for him to be at the birth, although he wasn’t entirely sure why, just that it was.
Still, even though four months had passed since he’d last seen Selena, he hadn’t forgotten her, hadn’t stopped wishing things had been different, that their feelings had been mutual.
He tried to tell himself that he’d done the right thing, that he’d fulfilled his promise to Mary. And in that respect, he had.
It was too bad Selena hadn’t understood why the babies meant so much to him, why he had to go through with his plan in spite of knowing that his decision to move forward had squelched any future he might have had with her.
Sometimes, he’d find himself angry about the unfairness of it all—and angry at Selena for being so...
What? Stubborn? Selfish?
Hell, he couldn’t blame her for wanting to raise her own children and not someone else’s.
Besides, he couldn’t very well stew about things like disappointment and anger when his babies—a little boy and girl—were doing so well.
For a moment, he remembered the day he’d seen them both on the ultrasound screen and learned their sex. He’d almost passed on attending that appointment until he’d learned that Selena was going to be delivering a baby, and that one of her associates would be running the scan.
Hell, if he couldn’t even face her, how was he supposed to convince her to give him another chance?
No, he would abide by Selena’s wishes, no matter how tough it was. And the best way for him to do that had been to focus on his growing son and daughter—and on Kristy’s uneventful pregnancy.
Now, as he waited for his ranch foreman to return from the barn, Alex watched the sun rise on another beautiful April morning. He breathed in the fresh Texas air. As he surveyed the ranch that had once belonged to his uncle and would one day belong to his children, he watched a new colt frolicking in the corral with its mother. A smile stretched across his face. It was impossible not to count his many blessings on a day like this.
Life was good.
But before he could utter a small prayer of thanksgiving, Lydia walked out of the mudroom and called him to the phone.
“Can you take a message?” he asked. “I need to talk to Jake about the plans for the day. Who is it?”
“It’s Kristy,” Lydia called out. “And she said it’s an emergency. She’s already called Dr. Ramirez, who’s going to meet her at the Brighton Valley Me
dical Center.”
Oh, God. No. It was still too early for her to go into labor. The babies stood little chance, if any, of surviving outside the womb.
“What do I tell her?” the housekeeper asked.
Alex was already running to his truck, reliving the day he’d gotten the call from the Brighton Valley sheriff’s office, telling him about Mary’s accident.
“Tell her to call an ambulance,” he said. “I’m leaving now. I’ll meet her at the hospital.”
He prayed he’d make it in time.
And that Selena would be able to help.
Chapter Twelve
Selena had just stepped out of the shower when her after-hours answering service called, relaying the message that Kristy O’Malley was headed for the hospital in an ambulance.
She gripped the receiver, her knuckles aching, while listening to what few details Kristy had given before hanging up and calling the paramedics. Apparently, she’d been having contractions off and on all evening. She hadn’t thought too much about it until they started coming at regular intervals early this morning.
Fortunately, Selena had talked to her about being a high-risk pregnancy because of the twins. And she’d told her not to ignore any unusual aches or pains. In cases like this, it was always better to be safe than sorry.
In cases like this...
Selena’s thoughts turned to Alex. Did he know yet? Would he be coming to the hospital?
Of course he would. Those babies meant the world to him, even though he hadn’t come to any of Kristy’s appointments since the very first one.
As Selena threw on some clothes, she pondered his reasons for staying away. Kristy had implied that he was busy on the ranch, as well as mentioning his involvement in training the horses for the new hippotherapy program at the wellness center. And Selena hadn’t questioned that.
Still, a part of her wondered if Alex had been avoiding her for another reason. After all, she hadn’t seen him since the day he’d asked her to reconsider dating him—and she’d told him no.
But she couldn’t worry about that now. She had to get to the hospital to check on Kristy and the twins. At twenty-six weeks gestation, the babies stood a chance of making it. But on top of the health issues they’d face at birth, they would also be at higher risk for lasting disabilities.