by Duarte, Judy
Selena grabbed her keys and her purse, then headed for the door. After locking up the house, she climbed behind the wheel of her car, determined to get to the Brighton Valley Medical Center as quickly and safely as she could. She would do whatever she could to ensure those babies stayed in the womb as long as possible—for Alex’s sake.
And maybe for her own sake as well. She’d been afraid to tell him how she’d felt about him, afraid to risk heartbreak. So she’d held back on the truth and had run like a scared rabbit.
For a moment, she indulged herself, imagining that Alex’s feelings for her had been stronger than she’d thought they were. That she’d made a mistake by not trusting him to move on from Mary to her. But she shook off the starry-eyed musing, focusing on more important things to worry about now.
By the time she reached the hospital and found a space reserved for physicians, she hurried to the maternity floor and made her way to the nurses’ desk, where Sylvia Ramos sat. “Has Kristy O’Malley arrived yet? She should have come by ambulance.”
“We put her in labor room 235,” Sylvia said. “Gretchen has her hooked up to a fetal monitor.”
“Thanks.”
Moments later, Selena entered Kristy’s room and found her stretched out on the bed, wearing a standard hospital gown.
“What’s going on?” Selena asked, as she made her way to her patient.
“I’m not sure. I’d been having some minor contractions last night. I thought they were probably Braxton-Hicks or false labor of some kind, but some of the pains were pretty sharp. And this morning, they were coming at regular intervals. You told me not to take any chances with that kind of thing, so I decided I’d better come in.”
“I’m glad you did.”
Because Kristy had given birth before, she knew what to expect during labor. So Selena took her worries and concerns seriously.
“Excuse me, Dr. Ramirez.”
Selena looked up to see Sylvia Ramos standing in the door way. “Yes?”
“The father of the babies just arrived.”
Alex. Selena’s heart thumped, and her pulse rate soared just knowing he was here.
“What should I tell him?” Sylvia asked.
“Tell him to go to the waiting room. I’ll come and talk to him as soon as I’ve examined Kristy.”
Selena had known that she would have to face Alex again someday. And the next time around, she’d planned to be more honest and up front with him than she’d been in the past.
She just wished their next meeting wouldn’t have been during a crisis.
* * *
Alex had begun to wonder if Selena would ever come into the waiting room and let him know what was going on.
He probably ought to take a seat because all but two of them were empty. But for some reason, he found himself pacing the floor like the proverbial expectant father.
Yet instead of moving because he was a bundle of restless nerves, he was doing it out of fear.
What was going on behind those closed doors? The nurse he’d talked to at the desk had said Kristy was being examined. Was she in any kind of danger?
He certainly hoped not. And as badly as he wanted the twins, he didn’t want to see Kristy’s health jeopardized in any way.
Finally, at a quarter to nine, he heard footsteps—a pair of high heels?—clicking in the hall. He turned toward the door, just as Selena walked in wearing a white blouse and black slacks. She looked just as pretty as ever, although she appeared to be a little windblown today, as if she’d hurried to dress.
Of course she probably had. Kristy would have notified her doctor before she’d called him.
Alex strode to the middle of the room, meeting Selena halfway. “How is she?”
“She’s doing okay for now. She was having some preterm labor, but she really hadn’t started to dilate yet. So I gave her some medication to stave off the contractions, and it seems to be working.”
“Oh, thank God.” He raked his hand through his hair, then asked, “What caused it?”
“It’s hard to say at this point. But the babies seem to be doing fine.”
He was glad to hear that, but he was also worried about Kristy. Her husband traveled a lot on business and was gone from home on most weekdays. So who was watching her kids and getting them off to school this morning?
And what if she had to stay in the hospital for an extended period of time?
He was paying her to carry the babies for him—and with twins there’d been a bonus. Yet even though she was being compensated for the inconveniences of the pregnancy, he hadn’t meant for her to have to spend weeks or months in the hospital.
Selena placed a hand on Alex’s arm, providing a soothing balm without saying a word. The heat of her touch sent him hurtling back in time to the days when they’d first become friends, to the night they’d been lovers.
He covered her hand with his, sealing her warmth, possessing her touch for as long as he could.
“I know how worried you must be,” she finally said. “But for the time being, the babies aren’t in any danger.”
He continued to cover her hand, craving so much more than that. “Thanks for the reassurance, Selena. At times like this, I’m glad you’re devoted to your job and your patients.”
“At times like this?” She smiled. “You mean there was a time when you weren’t?”
Yeah, as a matter of fact there was. Whenever he thought about her and their time together, he resented her dedication to her career, her practice. But how selfish had that been, especially now, when he needed her dedication and skill more than anyone did?
Yet he was tired of pretending that her rejection hadn’t hurt like hell. Tired of rolling over.
The babies were a way for him to start a new life. Not that he wanted to give up his ranch and all he’d built there, but it wasn’t enough. He needed a home, a family. And he wanted Selena to be a part of it.
For that reason, he’d do whatever it took to make sure that happened, even if it meant taking the chance that Selena would shoot him down once again. So, with his heart still raw with emotion from the fear his children were in danger, he let down his defenses.
“To be honest?” he said. “I’d hoped you’d be willing to become a part of a family. My family.”
“I...” Selena stiffened and drew back. “We talked about this, Alex. I have a medical practice. And you have a ranch. We live in different worlds.”
He knew that. And he appreciated her desire to maintain a career. As far as he was concerned, she could have it all if she wanted to. And he’d support her in any way he could.
Yet as he stood here, baring his soul, she’d retreated into a stiff cloak of professionalism.
She’d been so warm, so loving, so willing that night they’d spent together. She’d been more of a woman than a doctor.
And the fact that she was being so cool, so distant now, set off something inside of him. Something battered and bruised. And he didn’t care who was listening or how vulnerable it made him sound.
“Selena, I love you. I didn’t plan for it to happen, it just did. And I want us to be together for life—partners and lovers. If you’d be willing to be a mother to the twins, I’d be more than willing, more than happy to have another baby or two with you.”
Selena’s lips parted and her breath caught. “It’s more complicated than that.”
Yes, he supposed it was. So he released her hand and took a step back. “Never mind. There’s no need beating a dead horse.”
She seemed to chew on that for a moment, then glanced at her watch and let out a sigh. “I really need to get to the office, but that’ll have to wait. We need to talk.”
Before he could respond, she took him by the arm and led him out of the waiting room.
Alex wa
sn’t sure where she was taking him—or what there was left to say—but he would hear her out.
* * *
Selena’s heart raced as she led Alex down the hall and into one of the private conference rooms on the maternity floor. But it was time to lay it all on the table—her apprehension, her fear.
As difficult as it would be to lay her heart on the line, to tell him why she couldn’t date him, she had to come clean. She’d never given him a reason, which didn’t seem fair. Especially now that he’d told her he loved her. And she feared it wasn’t enough.
Once they were inside and had some privacy, she turned to face him. “I haven’t been completely honest with you.”
His head cocked slightly, but he didn’t press her. Instead, he gave her the time to find the words that had to be said.
“I love babies, Alex. That’s one reason I chose obstetrics as my medical specialty. And there’s nothing I’d like more than to become a family with you, to mother your twins and to give you other babies someday. But I...can’t.”
“Why not?”
It was such an easy question to ask, but so difficult to answer. Especially when she’d been holding tight to her fears for so long.
“I love you, Alex. More than I care to admit.”
“So what’s the problem?”
She bit her bottom lip, holding back one last time. But Alex had forced the issue. And her fear of losing the babies he so desperately wanted far outweighed her fear of having her heart broken.
“I can’t have children, Alex. I might be able to help bring them into the world for others, but that’s as far as it goes for me. I can’t get pregnant. And I can never give birth myself.”
He reached for her hand and gave it a warm, gentle squeeze. “That doesn’t matter to me. If we want more children, we can adopt.”
“But there’s more,” she said.
“I’m listening.”
She took a fortifying breath, then threw down the gauntlet that had become too hot to handle. “I’m not willing to be second place in your life.”
Confusion splashed across his face. “I don’t understand.”
She slowly shook her head. “No, not the babies. They’d need to come first while they’re so tiny and dependent. I’m talking about Mary.”
The confusion in his expression deepened. “What about her?”
Selena took a deep breath, then slowly let it out. “You loved her deeply. And I’m afraid...” Again she paused before going on. “I’m afraid that I’d always be your second-choice wife.”
He seemed to toss that around for a moment, facing the truth.
“As a side note,” she added, “I hope to find a man like you someday.”
His grip on her hand tightened, sending her senses as well as her hopes reeling. “You already have me now, Selena.”
Was he kidding? She wanted to believe that, but... “I have you by default. And I need to know that you’d be able to love me as much as you loved Mary.”
He reached for her chin, tilting her face and locking his gaze on hers. “You’re right. I loved Mary. She was a wonderful woman, a good wife. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you every bit or more than I loved her. You’re different from her, and I love you in a unique and special way.”
She wanted to believe him. Did she dare?
“If a mother has two children,” he said, “don’t you think she can love them both but in different ways? Her love for one has nothing to do with her love for another.”
When he said it like that...
“Give me a chance to prove it to you, Selena.”
There was nothing she’d like more.
She glanced at her watch one last time, then back to Alex. “I need to go to the office. But don’t worry, I’ll be monitoring Kristy from there. I’ll give you a call later this afternoon to let you know how things are going. And if they continue to go well, maybe we can set a time and place to meet and talk about this further.”
“I’ll wait for your call,” he said. “And you’re right. This conversation isn’t over. In fact, I think it’s just begun.”
She nodded, then dashed out the door.
Did she dare hope that things might actually work out between them? That she might have the family she’d always dreamed of having—and with the man she loved more than anything or anyone else in the world?
* * *
By the end of the day, Selena was feeling pretty confident that the medication to stop Kristy’s contractions had worked. So she called Alex with the good news as well as an update on the woman’s family situation.
“Kristy’s mother took some vacation time at work,” Selena told him. “And she’s going to stay with the kids while Kristy’s in the hospital—and for the two weeks of bed rest I’m going to order.”
“If this goes longer than that,” Alex said, “if there are any other unexpected complications, I’ll send Lydia, my housekeeper, over to help out.”
“That’s thoughtful,” Selena said.
“Yeah, well, Kristy didn’t plan for this to happen.”
“Maybe not, but complications do arise. Family Solutions explains that to their surrogates and gestational carriers. It’s one reason the process is so costly.”
“Yeah, well...” He paused, as if struggling with his thoughts. “I’m still sorry that she’s going through this.”
So was Selena. And she was glad to know Alex had such a thoughtful side. After all, he really wanted those babies. Another man with the same dream, the same obsession, might have been too focused on his own concerns, his own worries.
“Do you have any questions for me?” Selena asked, hoping she’d been able to ease his mind already.
“Just one. You mentioned that we ought to talk. And because things seem to be going well, I wondered if you’d like to have dinner with me this evening.”
Throughout the day, Selena had thought about the talk they’d had in the conference room, about hope that had sparked after his profession of love. And she was looking forward to discussing the future, to see where their love might lead.
“Sure,” she said. “Where do you want to go?”
“How about Anita’s?”
She loved Mexican food because she’d been raised on it. And she was glad he liked it, too.
“Another craving for tacos?” she asked.
“I suppose so. But I also feel badly about getting a free dinner there last time.”
“The power went out. Remember?”
“I certainly do. So I’d like to patronize the place more.”
Alex wasn’t just a nice guy, but he was generous, too. Again she thought of how lucky Mary had been to meet him first.
But Selena felt pretty darn lucky, too.
“Okay,” she said. “Anita’s it is. I’ll meet you there.”
Twenty minutes later, Selena had run a brush through her hair and applied a coat of lipstick. Just as she’d done the last time they’d gone to Anita’s for dinner, she parked her car at home and walked to the restaurant.
And as she suspected, Alex was standing on the curb, waiting for her. He tossed her a dazzling smile that spun her heart three-sixty.
No, make that one-eighty, because they were both headed in a new direction now.
At least, it certainly seemed that way.
He took her hand, and they walked up the steps together. Then he held open the door for her and followed her inside.
The same silver-haired hostess wearing a red peasant-style blouse and a pair of white slacks greeted them with a friendly smile. She reached for the menus. “Good evening. Two for dinner?”
Alex nodded. “Yes.”
“Right this way.” The hostess led them across the ceramic tile floor to the carpeted stairway. “You�
�ll be in the library again this evening. But you should feel better knowing our electricity hasn’t given us any problems since that night you were here.”
“That’s good,” Alex said.
When they’d been seated and the busboy had given them water and a basket of chips and salsa, Alex said, “First of all, I want to thank you for all you did for Kristy and the babies today. It was a comfort knowing you were in charge.”
“You’re welcome. Just so you know, it would have broken my heart to see you lose the babies after all you’ve done to get them here.”
He gave a shrug. “It was something I had to do. When I make a promise, I keep it.”
“You know,” Selena said, “Mary was a very lucky woman.” And for once, there wasn’t any resentment or envy behind the words.
“I was the lucky one,” Alex said. “She put up with all my faults.”
Quite frankly, Selena hadn’t seen many of them.
After a quiet dinner, Alex paid the bill. Then they walked outside. The clouds darkened the sky, hiding the stars. Yet the evening seemed brighter, more promising than ever before.
“Let me drive you home,” Alex said.
“But it’s only a couple of blocks from here.”
“I know, but I was hoping you’d invite me inside. And I don’t see any reason to leave my truck parked here.”
“Neither do I,” she said with a smile.
She couldn’t imagine not wanting to extend their evening together, not inviting him into the house—and into her bedroom. Not making love to him, now that their life together held such promise.
After Alex pulled into the driveway and parked, they walked to the front door. She used her key, then led him into the living room.
She’d no more than turned on the lamp when Alex took her in his arms and pulled her close. She’d missed holding him, touching him, and she lay her head against his.
“Thank you for giving me a chance to prove how much I love you,” he said.