by Carré White
“Happy morning to you, Mrs. Tucker,” said Mary, who grinned.
That sounded wonderful. “When will I have time to write? I’ve got to tell everyone about the wedding.”
“We’ll be in Fort Laramie in a day or two. You’ll be able to post it there.”
“I hope my ink pot hasn’t dried up.”
“They’ll have supplies, if you need them. Don’t worry about that.”
“I miss civilization. I’d give anything for the sight of a real building or a carriage or a glass of Sarsaparilla.”
“Shush now. Don’t do that.”
“I haven’t seen Helen since yesterday. I’ll be back.”
“She said she wasn’t feeling well last night. She was feverish and weak. Her symptoms were unfavorable.”
“I’ll have to check on her. Cholera isn’t to be trifled with. It’s very serious indeed.”
“It might not be cholera. Others have complained of stomach ailments like Abner. It could be a bad gut.”
“Maybe.” I strolled towards where the Stuart’s were camped, finding their fire out. “Helen?”
“They’re sick.” A woman approached holding Laura.
“You’re Jane Porter, right?”
“Yes, I’ve been nursing Laura. I’ve got plenty of milk. I just had a baby.”
“I have to see them. Have they been given the healing concoction?”
“I haven’t a clue. I just know that Jason came to me last night, asking if I would feed Laura.”
“All right.” I threw back the tarp on their tent, and gagged. There was vomit all over the bedding and worse. Jason looked as white as a sheet, his eyes sunken, while Helen appeared poorer. “Oh, my goodness!” I glanced at Jane. “I have to get help!” They had been alone all night with the sickness, as the condition of their surroundings indicated. “Samuel!” I raced through camp, realizing that I had quite a bit of energy today, which meant I was on the mend. “Samuel!”
“What’s the matter?” He appeared behind me.
“The Stuarts are very sick!”
“I’ll get a jug of water. Blasted!” He stomped off in the other direction.
When I returned to the tent, several people had gathered, offering to help. Laura had begun crying, and I reached for her. “I’ll take her, Mrs. Porter.”
“You bring her to me whenever she’s hungry, all right?”
“Thank you so much.”
I felt eternally grateful for her assistance, otherwise I had no idea how I would feed the baby. Then it dawned on me that Helen was pregnant. My spirits sank, at the implication of what this might mean. A grave illness such as cholera had to negatively impact a pregnancy, if she even survived the next few hours.
“Bring them out, if you can,” said Samuel. “They need to start drinking immediately. They already look far too dehydrated.” The couple was taken to their wagon and placed within on clean bedrolls. “I’m driving their wagon today, Tom.”
“I’ll get more water for you,” I said.
“Thanks.”
“Is there anything I can do?”
“You’re traveling with me. Come sit down when you’re done. I’ll take the tent apart real quick.”
I climbed onto the seat, holding Laura, who looked adorable wearing a small bonnet. “You’re ma and pa are going to be just fine, little one. They’ll feel better by supper.”
When Samuel returned, Jane Porter joined us, which was a surprise. Her baby was wrapped in a thin blanket. The newborn mewled and cried, fussing while his mother got situated.
“It’s easier like this,” she said. “If I gotta feed him and her, it’s better I travel with you.”
“That’s thoughtful; it really is.”
“Well, it’s what’s got to be done, Mrs. Tucker. No way around it. I can’t be running from wagon to wagon whenever one of ‘em needs food.”
“Your husband is traveling alone?”
She shook her head. “His mother is with him and my son. All the more reason to travel with you kind people.” She laughed, “I’m about to have a very peaceful day.”
“Oh, I see.”
“Family can be a blessing and a curse.”
Samuel strode towards us. “I gotta yoke these animals, and we’ll be on our way.”
“What about the Stuarts?”
“I’ll be handing you the reins soon enough. I’m gonna get as much water into them as I can.” He glanced at Jane. “Good morning, Mrs. Porter.”
“Good morning.”
“You’re the wet nurse, I take it?”
“Yes, sir, I am.”
“That’s mighty kind of you.”
“Think nothin’ of it. I’ve got more than enough milk.”
Once Samuel had affixed the animals, we were on our way, the wagons before us trundling towards the road. Tom commandeered the wagon he shared with Sam and William, while William was on a horse. He trotted over to us several times, exchanging words with Samuel. As the morning wore on, I was given the reins, keeping the oxen in line and the wheels in motion. Samuel disappeared into the wagon on and off, feeding as much fluid to the Stuarts as he could. It was disheartening to hear the sound of vomiting, but it went on for hours, and it was truly worrying.
By the time we stopped for lunch, Samuel looked grave; his lips formed a thin line. “I need to talk to you.” He pulled me aside.
“What is it?”
“I…” he looked aggrieved. “I don’t know if they’re gonna make it.”
“Oh, no.” My hand went to my throat. “No, please. Let me tend to them.”
“They can’t keep anything down. It’s bad on the other end too.”
The smell from the wagon had gotten progressively worse as the day wore on. “We have to try harder. I’ll get Mary to watch Laura and someone else to manage the animals. I’ll help you.”
He removed his hat, thrusting fingers through unruly hair. “I’ve seen this before. If only we had known about it last night, we could’ve had a chance. They needed fluid from the beginning. They were already bad off this mornin’.”
“Then we try harder!” I hissed fiercely. “I’ll talk to Mary.” I would do whatever I could to make sure that Helen and Jason lived. I had to for Laura’s sake. The thought that people I knew and respected would die like this had my blood boiling with anger.
Once arrangements had been made, I sat with Samuel in the wagon with Helen’s head in my lap, while I gave her spoonfuls of the sugary, salt water, hoping that she wouldn’t throw it right back up. We worked for what seemed like hours, while the wagon creaked and shuddered, the repetitive motion lulling me into lethargy. When some time had gone by and they hadn’t been ill, I felt encouraged. It was shortly after we had stopped for dinner that I realized whatever fluid we had given them had come out of the backside. Their garments were soaked through with wetness.
“Come down from there now,” said Samuel. His face revealed exhaustion; his shoulders were slumped.
Helen had not stirred at all today; her eyes were closed. “Oh, Samuel.”
“A tent’s ready for them. We need to go clean up, honey.”
I placed her head on a pillow, stroking her cheek. “The poor thing. She’s so pale.”
He held out his hand. “Come here, Paulina.”
“Yes, Sam.” I went to him, and he lifted me down from the wagon. “Where’s Laura?”
“With the Porters.”
“There’s a river over here. We need to wash up.” He took my hand, leading me away, while several people arrived to bring Helen and Jason into a tent. “We’ve been at it all day. All that fluid went right through them.”
“I know.”
“It didn’t even smell. It was just fluid.”
“Let’s not talk about it right now. I feel sick to my stomach when I think about it.”
“So do I.”
We were near the water’s edge, the current swift here. “I thought we were supposed to cross a river?”
“It’s fu
rther down. I wasn’t as close as I thought.”
“Oh.”
“If we’d gone a few more miles today, we would’ve reached it.”
“I wish I could get in.” The water looked inviting, crystal clear and cold.
“Go in with your shift on.”
I hesitated, but only for a moment, realizing that I was with my husband. Jeremiah Kelley wouldn’t burst out of the bushes and chastise me for being nearly naked in the presence of my own husband, now would he?
“I didn’t bring a towel.”
“I didn’t either. We’ll just have to air dry.”
“I’m fine with that.”
Being early evening, the sun had begun to drift, but it was still incredibly hot, the breeze as sticky as it had been at midday. I unbuttoned the dress, leaving it over a bush. My corset, petticoats, and pantalets were next, while my stockings remained on. I removed them a moment later, stepping into the cool water. It wasn’t particularly deep, so I sat, letting the current push against me gently. I dunked my head, wetting it thoroughly, while scrubbing. I’d use this opportunity to rid myself of a day’s worth of dust, as it had been blowing furiously from the road.
“This sure is nice.” He sat next to me, washing his face. “It’s refreshing.”
“It is.” While submerged, I washed in other places as well. “Too bad there’s no soap.”
“I ran out a coupla weeks back.”
“I have a chunk somewhere. I’ll have to dig for it.”
“You sure do look beautiful wet.” Appreciation shone in his eyes.
“You saw me that time.”
“I did.”
“You’re a naughty man.”
“It was an accident. I had no idea you women were swimming.” He drew near, his hand touching my face. “I’m looking forward to seeing you out of the water with that shift clinging to your every curve.”
“You’re incorrigible.”
“I am.”
“That’s probably the only reason you married me.”
“Aw, come on now. Don’t be sore. There’s nothin’ sexier than a mermaid.”
“We shouldn't linger too long. I need to check on Helen. Every time I think about them, I worry sick.”
He looked grim. “Yeah, it’s not lookin’ so good.”
I held my feet, rubbing them with my hands. “It’s a shame if anything bad happens.”
“It’s already happened.”
He stood, water pouring from his body, although he had kept his undergarments on, the material clinging to him. Embarrassed, I looked away, but then remembered that I had every right to gaze upon him. I was his wife, after all. When it was my turn to stand, I felt his eyes on me. I wrung out my hair, wading towards the bank, my feet encountering a rocky bottom.
“Let’s sit here, until we dry.” He indicated a patch of grass.
Joining him, I continued to squeeze water from my hair. “I feel so much better.”
“You look better.”
“I mean clean. I feel clean.”
“You’re recovering. You’re not as weak.”
“No.” My stomach rumbled. “But, I’m starving.”
“Some men are hunting. I’m hoping they bring back a buck. We need to eat somethin’ other than jerky and beans.”
“Venison with onions would be good.”
“Who’s got the onions?”
“I think Mary has some left. I’ll see if they’ll give me part of one.”
“Hum…sounds good.” His eyes drifted over the front of my shift, which was nearly transparent. “Very good.”
I shivered, but not from the cold. “Oh, my.”
“I hope you’re well enough tonight for…a honeymoon.” His lips were near my ear.
“I might be.” Knowing that he was my husband emboldened me, and I held his face, admiring his looks. “I’d like that.”
Our lips met; the kiss was soft, yet urgent, as suppressed passion burst to life. My hands rested on his shoulders, the fingers pressing into taut muscles. The swiftness of the seduction took on new meaning, as he pressed me to the grass, his lips running from my mouth to my throat, kissing and nibbling.
“Oh, Sam…”
“Mr. Tucker!” shouted a man’s voice.
“Samuel!”
“What?”
“You need to come quick, sir!”
He gazed at me. “We’ve got trouble.”
Chapter Twelve
“I’ve got to get dressed,” he said.
“I wonder what’s wrong?” I scrambled to my feet, finding the dress over the bush.
“I can guess.”
“The Stuarts?”
He looked bleak. “Yeah.”
“Oh, gosh, I hope not.” The stockings were difficult to pull on, but I managed, struggling every inch of the way.
Samuel was garbed before me. “I’ll meet you at camp.”
“All right.”
I followed minutes later, as a feeling of foreboding drifted over me. My feet felt like lead, not wanting to come any closer, for fear that there would be bad news. A commotion up ahead confirmed these musings. People had gathered near a tent. Jane held Laura, while Mary held her infant.
“We gotta dig graves,” said a man. “What’s done is done.”
“Damn shame,” someone said.
My feet refused to move. Tears blurred my vision, as I stared at the people who had come to help. A man approached carrying two shovels.
“Let’s get this over with.”
Jeremiah Kelley eyed me. “Mrs. Tucker.”
“Y-yes?”
“You knew this woman, right?”
“Yes.”
“They were heading for Oregon?”
“Yes.”
“They got family there?”
“Yes.”
“We need to find an address. They need to know about Laura.”
“I can help look, if you want.”
“That would be very helpful, Mrs. Tucker.”
My shoulders had slumped. “I’ll do whatever I can.”
“What about the baby?” asked Jane. “Who’s going to look after her?”
“I will.” I walked towards her, taking Laura into my arms. “I’ll bring her to you when she fusses.”
Samuel glanced at me. “That’s a lot of responsibility, honey.”
“I know.”
His look was considering, and then he said, “Fine. We need to take care of this, so folks can get on with dinner.”
It was unfortunate that there would not be a proper burial. I had to set these feeling aside for the moment. There was nothing I could do about the situation. While Laura’s parents were taken away, the reverend followed them. He would see to it that their souls were directed towards heaven.
“Are you coming?” asked Mary.
“I…do I have to?”
“Yes, my dear. This poor child’s family is being buried today. She needs to be present.”
“Oh, of course.” It had been immature and selfish of me not to want to participate. We walked together.
“When I think about how sick you were, I realize this could have just as easily been your funeral. That man nursed you to health. He was far better attuned to it than we were. I hate to admit it, but we wouldn’t have known to feed you water like that.”
“He’s been dealing with cholera for five years. I think he’s learned a thing or two. I got lucky.” I was fortunate to have my health and all the other blessings God had given me. My gaze rested on Laura, who was oblivious to the fact that her parents had just passed away.
Jane appeared, holding her baby. “I’m beside myself thinking that this poor child won’t know her parents.”
“We’ll try to find her family,” I said. “She must have grandparents somewhere.”
“I’ll help you go through their things later,” said Mary. “First, we have this business to attend to.”
Quite a few people had gathered, helping to dig the graves, and bringing bus
hels of hastily picked wild flowers. It was a sad moment, and one I wished wasn’t necessary. The Stuarts had died so quickly. If only we had known they were unwell sooner; perhaps, something could have been done to help them. A part of me would never forgive myself for the oversight.
After the funeral, I sat on a crate with Laura in my arms, not knowing what I would do with her now. She seemed content at the moment, gurgling and making noises, her little face a vision of sweetness. I would be responsible for her, for feeding and changing her, although I didn’t have the slightest clue about how to do these things.
Jane approached. “Do you know how to mind babies?”
“No.”
“I should talk to you then. I’ve got diapers to spare, but you’ll have to wash them. Do you know how to change a diaper?”
I shook my head.
“Does she have a pacifier?”
“Not that I know of.”
“If she fusses at night, she’ll need one.”
“How do I get one?”
“I have one extra. My husband makes ‘em outta bone. If you dip it in molasses, they like it better that way.”
“I have a lot to learn about babies.”
“Yes, you do.”
That night, after dinner, I was in the tent, wrestling the diaper around Laura and finding it frustrating. Jane had shown me how to do it, but without her present, I had begun to feel out of my depth.
“How’s it going?” Samuel appeared in the doorway, his expression curious.
“It’s going.”
“Want me to try?”
“I think I’ve got it. I just don’t want to stick her with this pin.”
“She seems happy.”
“Jane just fed her.”
Laura squirmed on the blanket, her arms and legs in the air. “She hardly looks tired.”
“You might have to walk around with her over your shoulder.”
“Oh, goodness.” Her shift went over her little legs. Then she was in my arms. “Do you think she’d like a bath?”
“Right now?”
“No, I mean maybe in the morning.”
“I suppose.” He sat next to me. “Did you eat enough dinner?”
“I had rice and beans.”
“What about the venison?”
“Mary has it boiling in a pot. She made biscuits.”
“That sounds really good.”