“I think it's a good possibility. Just remember. Pay attention to the details.”
“So where should I go next?”
“That's up to you. I'm not your memories, I'm just your thoughts.”
I could think of one place I'd like to visit again.
“So anything I think of, or remember… This room will take me there?”
Chapter 15
The food… My god the food… I’d never tasted anything like it. It’d probably cost me half my paycheck, it was one of those fancy restaurants that don't even put the prices next to the meals, but it was exquisite. I’d never tasted anything like it.
She took a sip of her wine and peered at me over the rim of the glass. Those deep, coy, brown eyes. God they were stunning. She set the glass back on the table and folded her hands up against her cheeks. The candlelight danced shadows off her face, highlighting her perfect cheekbones and playfully hiding her dark eyes.
“So what do you do exactly?” she asked with a mischievous smile, her words carried gently to my ears over the soothing… Whatever kind of music that was playing, I wasn’t sure. I wasn’t exactly in my element here but I wanted to impress her—which I couldn’t do when asked that question—so I opted for humor instead.
“I do security actually, it’s a dangerous job,” I said with a grin.
“Oh really now? And what do you secure?”
“Only the largest chain of copy machine stores in this nation. The one and only, Copymate.”
Mock enthusiasm. She thought it was hilarious.
“Hey come on, why are you laughing? Do you have any idea how many robberies occur in copy machine stores?”
“Are you serious?”
“I'll tell you how many. None. Because I'm the one doing security,” I smiled as I said it and she burst out laughing. What a smile, blindingly white but not perfect, just the right amount of character in her teeth. It made me feel warm and I just wanted to make her smile more and more.
I took another sip of wine right as someone behind me bumped into my chair, splashing red wine down the front of my shirt. My white shirt.
“I'm so sorry! Oh my god that got all over, let me get you a napkin!”
Like a napkin would do anything except smear it everywhere and make the stain worse. I had one nice outfit in my wardrobe. Had.
“Don't worry about it, I was going to take it to the dry cleaners anyway.”
“Are you sure? I'm really sorry. Here, take this.”
He rustled about in his pocket and pulled out a twenty-dollar bill. Before I could protest, he set it on the table in front of me.
“For the dry cleaning,” he said, turning around and leaving before I could say a word. At least it would help me pay for dinner.
“Wow, that was nice of him.”
“Yeah I know,” I said as I put the twenty dollars in my pocket. I could feel my face burning with embarrassment. I put my coat jacket back on and drew it tight in a pathetic attempt to cover the wine stain.
We finished our meal and the waiter brought out the bill—Jesus, even the booklet that the bill went into looked like it cost a hundred bucks. I kept a poker face as I opened it and even I was impressed that I didn't gasp out loud. I took my card out of my wallet and left the check on the edge of the table for the waiter to pick up.
“How much was it?”
“Don't worry about it, it's on me,” I smiled.
The waiter returned and I left a tip. She stumbled a little when she stood from the table and laughed as she caught herself.
“Too much wine?”
She chuckled a bit and linked her arm around mine and we made our way outside.
It was a little chilly, which I used as an excuse to draw her closer to me. We walked and I tried to steal looks at her every chance I could get and every time I looked, she looked back. We both smiled and looked away, hoping the other didn't notice even though we knew the other did.
“So where to next?” I asked.
“I don't know. I would say let's go back to your place, but it’s only our first date and I am a lady,” she said with mock pretentiousness as she flashed her mischievous smile again.
“Well, what makes you think my place is unacceptable? I’m a gentleman after all.”
“Well if that's the case,” she said through her grin, “then your place it is.”
She raised her eyebrows as she said it and I my pulse jumped a couple-dozen beats faster. How did I land a girl like this in the first place? Not to mention getting her back to my house on the first date.
We walked down the sidewalk to a crosswalk and I pushed the button, absently watching the cars pass by. They had no idea about us or how lucky I was to have a girl like her around my arm.
The “Walk” sign lit up and we stepped into the street just as a car zoomed past us. I yanked her back just in time.
“Jesus! Fuckin’ watch where you're going asshole!” I yelled to the car as it sped on down the road, “are you alright?”
“Yeah I'm fine, thanks for that.”
“Yeah of course, guy ran the fucking light.”
I hated when people didn't pay attention when they were driving.
We continued across the intersection to the next crosswalk and waited. A breeze blew by and she quickly burrowed deeper into my arms and nuzzled up against my chest.
It made my heart melt.
The “Walk” sign lit up and this time I looked both ways before crossing. All clear. We crossed the street to the parking lot where my car was parked and we got in. She shivered a bit as she sat down and rubbed her hands together.
“Can you turn the heater on please?”
“Of course.”
I started the car and turned the heater up to 75 degrees. The knob was broken, it could get to 80 but it wouldn’t turn past 75. And of course it blew cold air because my car had been sitting in the cold for so long.
Great.
“Sorry about that,” I said, fumbling with the thermostat, trying desperately to get the knob to turn past 75 to no avail. She shivered some more and squeak-giggled, trying to block the vents.
We both laughed and I backed out of my spot, stopping at the driveway and easing my way up a little so I could see the traffic. I turned left into the median and saw her still shivering .
“It’s so cooooold!”
I looked and reached down to turn the heater off, at least until the car had warmed up, as I accelerated out of the median.
Creeeooooooooocccccshhheerrrrrr!!!!!!!!!
My head slammed into the window as a car T-boned her side of the car. Shards of glass flew through the cabin, each one a dagger eager to cut and slice. Her hair whipped in slow motion, like a beauty commercial, if beauty commercials involved broken bones, contusions, and blood.
She tried to speak but nothing came out except gurgles and more blood and I blacked out.
Chapter 16
I parked my car in front of her house. I made sure to get there a little earlier so we wouldn't be late and lose our reservations, it was one of those fancy restaurants; they probably didn't even have the prices on their menus. It was going to be an expensive night but that was OK. I had somehow gotten lucky enough to get a date with this girl and she liked the restaurant, so that's where we would go.
24976 Sunny Way. Weird name for the street. Willow trees grew on either side and formed a canopy that blocked out just about all sunlight. I wasn't sure what it was, but the street made me feel uncomfortable.
I got to the door and was about to knock when I heard her call out.
“Come in! It's unlocked.”
Her voice sounded a little different, like she was sick or something, like her lips couldn’t form the words quite right. I turned the knob and walked inside.
“Hey you! Almost ready?”
“Mmhmm why don't you come up here?”
“Uhh alright.”
I was a little confused but I wasn't going to refuse. I started climbing the stairs to her r
oom and rubbed my hands together.
“It's freezing in here!”
“I know... Isn't it nice?”
Her voice trailed off every time she spoke and something seemed wrong.
I noticed goosebumps forming on my arms so I rubbed them as I continued up the steps. I could hear her stereo from her room. The door was cracked a little and I could make out her figure floating across the floor in the dim light.
“Come in you...”
I didn't know what had gotten into her but I loved the seductive tone in her voice. I pushed open the door and was taken aback. The only light came from candles, the flames flickered as some rock band played from the stereo.
I didn't know who it was, the singer had an eerily haunting voice as he droned on while guitars screamed, blaring from her speakers.
She swayed her hips and her black evening gown flowed as she danced across the room, paying no attention to me.
Her arms were liquid with the melody, flowing with the pulse of the drums. She kept her head down, her black wavy hair covered her face and she hummed along with the music.
“Doesn't it just make you want to dance,” she crooned, “come and dance with me...”
I was transfixed by her body, her hips were hypnotizing and I almost completely forgot about our reservations.
“Um...” I stammered, “What about dinner?”
“I've been dancing all day... I'm so tired... I don't think I want to go out...”
She wafted past me again and I looked down at her feet. Blood seeped out from her shoes, gushing out every time she took a step.
“Oh my god, what did you do to your feet?”
“Mmmm I've just been dancing all day... I'm so hungry... But I just can't stop dancing...”
She twirled about like a silk ribbon, moving from one side of the room to the other with no clear intent.
She spun around behind me and shut the door as she went by, giggling as she did so.
“Dance with me silly...”
“What are you doing? Stop it! Your feet are bleeding for Christ's sake!”
“Mmm I'm so hungry... Feed me... I just want to dance...”
She spun in slow circles around me, grazing me lightly with her fingertips as she went round and round.
“Stop it!” I yelled, grabbing her by her shoulders.
She giggled and brushed my hands off her turning away from me and prancing, skipping into the air, still spiraling around the room.
“Just come and dance with me...”
“No! I'm leaving if you don't stop whatever the hell it is you're doing.”
She stopped and stood directly in front of me.
“I'm so hungry...” She whimpered, swaying her body side to side as she stood in place.
“Come on,” I held my hand out to her, “come on and we'll get you something to eat. I'll fix you up something here, we don't have to go out.”
“I'm so hungry... Have you been fed today?”
“Have I what?” Not sure if I heard that right.
“Have you been fed today? Have you been fed today... Have you. Been fed... Today...”
The candles painted shadows across her covered face as she continued to sway. Her head rocked with her body side to side.
“You're scaring me. Seriously, cut it out. Come on, let's get something to eat downstairs and get your feet patched up.”
She mumbled something that sounded like “in a minute,” but I wasn't sure. I started backing up to the door and as I did, she finally lifted her head up.
Her hair parted back from her miserably sunken in face, dark rings engulfed her closed eyes. Her skin seemed like it was stretched too tight, like someone had grabbed a handful of skin from behind her skull and pulled.
And the worst part... I thought she was sucking on her lips when she mumbled at me. The blood dribbling from her chin said otherwise.
She had completely chewed her lips off. The bloody pulp that surrounded her mouth smiled at me in a horrible, meaty grimace.
“Come dance with me...”
She cackled and leapt away in a twirl, holding her dress by the hem. A bloody piece of meat plopped from her mouth onto the floor.
“Laaa la. La le la, laaa... Laaa la. La le la laaa...” She sang, spiraling and turning.
She stopped spinning and looked at me, swaying her hips.
“Won't you come dance with me? I'm so hungry... Have you been fed today?”
She advanced on me, still swaying like a charmed serpent. Her eyes held the look of a naive little girl, blended with demented insanity. She pulled her mouth back and upwards with her fingers into a sick toothy grin.
“What the fuck...”
I felt around behind me, keeping my eyes on her and desperately searching for the door. I brushed against the knob and fumbled with it to get a grip, but it kept slipping in my sweaty palms. She was getting closer to me, staggering forward on her bloody feet, her grotesque sneer intensifying with every step.
I managed to get a grip on the door knob and turned it, bolted out of the room and slammed the door shut.
I was about to run down the stairs and get the hell out of her house until I saw I was in a hallway.
My hallway.
Chapter 17
She thudded against the door with a wet thwap. I bolted down the hall to my living room and double checked my pocket for my keys. They were there. I threw the front door open and slipped on something wet, landing on my back in a puddle of… Something. In the pale moonlight I could see a glimmer of scarlet on my hands. Blood. A trail of it led from my car to the doorstep.
Frantically, I pulled myself back on my feet and sprinted to my car. I got the door unlocked, scurried inside and got the key in the ignition after a couple tries.
As I started the car, she appeared in the doorway. I threw the gears into reverse and slammed on the gas pedal, screeching out of the driveway while she stood at the doorway with an arm outstretched.
I put the car in “drive,” and an arm appeared from the darkness behind her, and a hand grasped her mouth. A face emerged from over her shoulder. My face.
She was dragged back into the house while the other me smirked and shut the door behind him.
I sat there in the middle of the street, my hand still on the shifter and unsure whether I should take off or go back inside.
“Are we having fun yet?” A voice to my right said.
I jumped and saw myself sitting in the passenger seat.
“You really should wear a seat belt ya' know. Safety first. Go ahead and drive. Buckle up though.”
“What the fuck is going on?” I screamed back at him, “tell me what the fuck is going on!”
He picked at his finger nails before replying casually, “buckle your seat belt, and drive.”
I glared at him and he turned his head ever so slightly, cocking an eyebrow and motioning at the seat belt. Reluctantly, I reached over, buckled my belt and took my foot off the brake.
“You really have no idea do you? Do you know how much time you've wasted having your little sentimental moments? You're really good at not listening to me and I really don't like it.”
He was clearly frustrated.
“Yes as a matter of fact I am frustrated, smart ass,” he continued, “You think I like being here? I don't know why you like being here but you’re sure spending a lot of time dicking around. I tell you to do one thing, find out about Charles Green and what do you do? You come back to this memory. Why? What are you accomplishing here?”
“Why is she like that?”
“Because you made her like that! I told you not to let your emotions get the best of you, in fact I think this is the third time I've said it. Are you even paying attention to where you're driving? Take a look around.”
I looked out my window and saw my house pass by me again and again and again on both sides of the street.
“What the hell is going on? What do you mean I made her like that?”
“Jesus Christ
you don't pay attention do you? What did you feel when you found out that she was moving away and she didn't tell you?”
“I don’t—”
“Bullshit, you know exactly how you felt. Pissed off, hurt and betrayed. Now what happened in your memory?”
“I don't know.”
He put his head in his hand and pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Out of all the voices in someone's head I could have been and I get to be yours. Outstanding. The first time you thought about it she attacked you. You felt betrayed, speaking poetically, you felt like she ripped your heart out. Look what happened. The second time—why there was a second time is beyond me, hell, why there was a first time after I told you to remember Charles is beyond me—but the second time, you felt angry. You felt like you could have just killed her on the spot, and look what happened.”
“That isn't true! I wouldn't kill her, I wouldn't kill anyone!”
“Oh who gives a shit what you would or wouldn't do? That doesn't change how you felt or what you thought about when it happened. And apparently you didn't get it when I had you look out the window. Why are we still driving when we aren't going anywhere?”
I looked back out the window, my house was still flashing past me on both sides. Embarrassed, I slowed down and stopped in front of the driveway.
“Ah, finally starting to catch on eh? Come on, get out.”
“Why’d you tell me to buckle up then?”
“Safety first.”
He stepped out of the car and I could do nothing else but follow him. I needed answers and he obviously had some. I unbuckled my seat belt and turned my car off before stepping out into the chilly cold—
—before stepping out into the room again. The walls had taken on a sicker shade of gray. Drab, dinghy and with a hint of puke green. The furniture in the room had changed a bit too; my television now sat on its stand in front of my coffee table. The Voice In My Head sat down on the couch and crossed a foot over his leg.
“So where were we?”
“We were talking about—”
“It was rhetorical. As I was saying, this place reflects your thoughts and feelings. You can change any memory when you think about it. The things you wanted to say instead of what you said, the things you wanted to do instead of the things you did, how things could have happened...Whatever. Have you honestly not realized this is all in your head? This place we're in, this room? You can't be that slow can you?”
Depths Page 11