In Plain Sight

by R E Gauthier

  “Maybe you should take up yoga Mo Chridhe,” Nanna said whispering into her ear.

  Those words brought reality and her desire to a screeching halt, what the heck was she doing? I’m lusting after a woman I barely know in Nanna’s sunroom and her Nanna was right there to witness it. Sure that Nanna could read her mind she turned and tried to smile and push out all the sensual thoughts.

  “I was just thinking that myself.”

  “Well maybe Miranda will be kind enough to teach you a thing or two.”

  “Yeah I would like that very, very much”, she said in whisper while her eyes never left the lovely vision in front of her.

  Kelsey and Nanna were making plans to go to the graveside vigil and then to her father’s home, when Miranda entered the sitting room. Now freshly showered and dressed in khaki Capri pants and a white tank top; Kelsey watched her approach not sure what she liked best, the yoga outfit or this one, both showed off the author’s trim, firm calves and surprising long muscled arms. She wanted so badly to talk to Miranda alone but it looked like it would have to wait until their drive back to Baltimore later that day.

  “Nanna I was wondering if I could possibly get your Wi-Fi password? I’d like to check for messages on my laptop today,” Miranda asked, not once looking her way.

  “Why certainly dear but why not wait until we get back from the cemetery? You know you are more than welcome to join us.”

  “Oh no that I do believe is too private a moment for the family, I have intruded enough this weekend.”

  Kelsey could see that the author looked tense and hadn’t made eye contact with her like she had been doing the day before. Darkness surrounded the author and her own head now throbbed as she grew near. I can’t read her today. Try as she may Kelsey couldn’t grasp what the petite woman in front of her felt not like yesterday and couldn’t get a sense of what she was thinking either. She only saw darkness and this made her anxious.

  “Nonsense dear I...,” Nanna started to say.

  “Please I think I should stay here. Could I also use your printer? I promise to pay for the paper if that would help.”

  “Yes dear you may use the printer and I won’t hear of you paying for the paper; you’re our guest,” Nanna said.

  Miranda thanked Nanna and gave her a hug and kiss on her cheek but she only nodded when Kelsey had said she’d see her later. The author’s eyes were distant and her back rigid, she turned away when she had approached her. Something was wrong. As soon as she closed the front door, her headache was gone and she turned to Nanna.

  “She’ll be okay Mo Chridhe, she just needs her privacy,” Nanna said as she took Kelsey’s arm.

  They arrived back to the house three hours later to find it very quiet. She didn’t want to think on why she felt so empty but when her Nanna began reading a note on the counter her heart constricted and she tried to hide the pain. Their graveside vigil had been emotional as was the heart to heart Kelsey had with her father and brothers about her needing to stay away for all these years. The emotions were still raw and she felt like she needed to just run when Nanna said the words that brought her heart to a thudding stop.

  “Miranda is gone.”

  Not believing what she was hearing, she attempted to understand what was unraveling before her.

  “What? What do you mean she’s gone?”

  “She left this note saying she was grateful for everything and most of all my hospitality and then she just needed to go to Baltimore on her own.”

  Kelsey’s mind reeled with the implications; Miranda must have been planning this all along: to run when she had the chance. That is why she had been distant and unreadable this morning.

  She barely heard Nanna saying that Miranda would text her when she arrived in the city. The shock had worn off but replaced with annoyance; she couldn’t believe she had been duped into thinking the author had felt the same as she had after yesterday. Unbidden emotions hit her then and she tried to force them back; gone was the sense of hope and anticipation. Replacing those positive emotions were the negative ones of embarrassment, remorse and abandonment. Only nodding distractedly when Nanna asked if she wanted a cup of tea; her mind thought about making the call to arrange for a hotel room to be waiting for the author when she arrived

  The rest of Kelsey’s day slid past in a blur of memories and emotions. Numb at times and others she felt raw, open emotions coming to hit her full force. This is why I keep my emotions bottled up. She found it hard to think about much else but the pain of betrayal, loss of something she really didn’t have and the shame of knowing she had been stupidly thinking the author felt anything for her.

  Nanna and she had spent some time going through some old photo albums, reminiscing about her childhood. They hadn’t spoken much about the author but knew Nanna wanted to. She had stayed as long as she could but knew she had to get back to Baltimore before dark. Dreading the long drive alone, she tried to gather her thoughts and emotions and bottled them up once more.

  As if she could sense her granddaughter’s withdrawal from their time together Nanna hugged her close. “I miss you already and you haven’t even left yet. I know you must go and that you live so far away but please remember you are much loved here and this will always be home,” she whispered softly into Kelsey’s ear.

  “I always miss you so much too. I wish I didn’t have to go but being away this long is all I can afford to do right now. This case is so important and I thanked dad for his meddling; I knew he had asked his boss the Attorney General to give me this case.”

  “Don’t be upset with him, he only wanted the best for you.”

  “I’m not upset with him. I know he loves me and we talked so much last night and today, I’m glad I came this weekend.”

  “We all love you very much Mo Chridhe and I wish you could stay but we know your work is pulling you away.”

  Kelsey’s eyes stung from the unshed tears but she refused to let them fall because in the raw state she was in she feared if she started she would never stop.

  “I love you all so much too. I know that I have a home here. As much as I would love to be able to stay; I have a strong need to go. I cannot describe it but it is like something is pulling me,” Kelsey said through a tightening throat filled with emotions.

  Holding her even tighter Nanna said,

  “I understand your deep need. It is your soul leading you to find your Anam-Charaid. I just hope that your mind will not get in the way of your heart and soul when you do.”

  Kelsey didn’t argue with her grandmother’s mentioning her soul mate because she was too emotional, instead she just sighed and nodded.

  “Nanna, I do hope I can find that special someone. Someone who can make me feel complete, because for the first time in all my life I feel so lonely.” A sob escaped through her tight throat and before she could stop another she was crying.

  “Mo Chridhe when your heart is breaking so is mine. I love you and want you to be happy. I cannot help you find the one person you seek, that you will need to do on your own.” She stroked her back helping her ease the pain out. After crying herself out, Nanna soothed her with her Scottish words of wisdom and said her goodbyes. She told Nanna she would call her as soon as she arrived safe in Baltimore.

  “She did what she felt she had to do,” Nanna said.

  She only smiled and told her she loved her as she backed the car out of the driveway.

  Chapter Twenty

  “I’m lost in my mind until you come to find me.”

  A couple hours later she drove on I-70 heading back to Baltimore her heart still ached but she did feel better getting all the emotions out that she had been holding in without knowing all these years. The weekend had been quite serendipitous; unfolding into one discovery after another, leaving her raw and bruised and feeling more than she had been willing to admit she felt.

  The miles passed by and Kelsey drove the car like on autopilot. Her phone chirped notifying her that she had received a text.
Then it chirped a couple more times signaling more texts then it went silent again. She could check it while driving but she was only a handful of minutes from taking the exit to arrive in Downtown Baltimore, so she prudently decided that waiting to check the texts would be best.

  Miranda had been on the bus from Pittsburgh for 4 of the nearly 5 hour trip when she finally thought she could relax. She had hated leaving like she had but she just needed to get away; away from Agent Kelsey MacGregor and her lovely grandmother and away from the feelings she experienced. It reminded her too much of all she didn’t have in her life right now: family and a person to love. It was for the best. She had told herself numerous times over the last several hours since she took a cab from Nanna’s house to a city bus that took her to Pittsburgh for her scheduled Greyhound bus departure to Baltimore. As soon as the agent and her grandmother had left for the gravesite, she had put her plan into action.

  The bus had arrived in the Baltimore station and she sent the agent her first text. She sent another text to tell her that she was on her way to the Hyatt Regency Hotel from the bus station in a cab. The agent had texted her a few hours ago to tell her that a room would be waiting for her. Not knowing what to say she hadn’t replied.

  Sitting in the cab she had time to think if it weren’t for the overly talkative cabbie. The cabdriver was a chatty older woman who kept looking in the rearview mirror, when she didn’t get an expected response, as if checking to see if Miranda was still in the back. Where do you suppose I would go in a moving vehicle? Miranda wanted to shout but instead she just frowned deeper and tried to tune out the woman’s incessant chattering.

  Normally she would be more talkative and friendlier with strangers but today she just wanted to get to the hotel and take a long bath and relax. The bus ride from Pittsburgh had grated on her nerves, and for a very even-tempered woman this was out of character for her. She had tried to get her mind off of leaving Nanna’s house and not saying goodbye in person, but she just had to leave because her emotions were too open and new. I know I’m running away but it’s better than making the same mistake again.

  Her stomach rumbled noisily as the cab came to a stop at a set of lights only a block from the hotel and the cabbie started asking questions again. Miranda got increasingly more annoyed and if it were not for the fact she was so tired she would have got out and walked the remainder of the way to the hotel on Light Street.

  “I don’t know why but you look so familiar, are sure you haven’t been to Club Hippo or Grand Central Club?”

  Sighing she knew that she could just say yes she had been to both of the gay and lesbian regular hotspots while she had been in Baltimore, but she didn’t feel like striking up a conversation with a stranger, even if that stranger was quite friendly and appeared to be family. I’m certainly no good judge of character these days.

  “I wasn’t in Baltimore long the last time I was here.” She lied but didn’t feel all that guilty because she was certain she would never see this woman again.

  “So do you plan on staying long this time?” The unnamed cabbie asked hopefully.

  Another long sigh and this time she punctuated it with a yawn to amplify her disinterest in the way this conversation was going. She could almost feel the awkwardness build just before the words came out.

  “If you are, I would be more than happy to show you around town. I know where all the hotspots are and could show you a really good time.” The cabbie said with a leer that conveyed the true meaning of a really good time. “I’m Paula by the way.” She offered.

  Miranda stayed silent and then her out presented itself when they drew up to the entrance of the Hyatt Regency. Before the cabbie could say another word she took out the money for the amount of the fare displayed on the meter plus a tip and handed it through the slot in the partition between the front and back seats.

  “Thank you very much Paula. Have a nice day.” She said as she exited from the back door, grabbed her bags from the trunk and bounded up the stairs never looking back.

  “Seriously...?” She said under her breath. When I get propositioned it’s in a cab when I’m tired and cranky. Paula wasn’t bad looking but right now Miranda wasn’t looking and if she were it wasn’t going to be someone who picks up total strangers in her cab. Miranda tried to shake off her displeasure as an overly cheerful voice greeted her when she crossed the foyer of the hotel.

  “Welcome to the Hyatt Regency Baltimore, I am Tammy. How can I help you today?”

  “Hi Tammy, I am here for a room. I know it is late.” Looking at her watch she saw that it was quarter after nine. “I’ve been told a room is waiting for me.”

  Tammy looked at the computer screen and shook her head, frowning. “Well we don’t have many rooms right now with Labor Day festivities and all,” she sighed.

  “Well I understand that the FBI is here in this hotel and I have been asked to come and give a statement. A room is supposed to be held for me.”

  “Oh sorry you should have told me you were with the FBI.”

  “Well I am not WITH the FBI but I was asked to come here and told a room would be waiting for me,” correcting the young girl and getting more annoyed by each passing moment. The large brunch she had at the restaurant Eleven in Pittsburgh several hours ago, had long since been digested. Impatience coupled with hunger played havoc on her mind and she wanted to scream in frustration.

  “I have a note on file that a room has been booked today for a Miranda Gaw-ther, would that be you?”

  Miranda grimaced at the butchering of her last name but she wasn’t in the mood to correct the young front desk clerk. “Yes that’s me. So you do have a room waiting for me then?”

  “Yes it has been booked with the FBI block on the fourteenth floor Miss Gawther or is it Mrs.?”

  “Miss will be fine. Can I have room service this late?” Miranda asked hopefully because her stomach felt like it was about to start gnawing on her ribs any moment.

  “Why yes we have in-room dining until Midnight. Would you like any help with your bags?”

  “No I only have these.” She indicated the backpack, her yoga matt roll and her laptop bag. “Can I just have my room key card now? I have been travelling most of the day and I am exhausted and famished.”

  “Certainly, here you go. Please have a pleasant stay here at the Hyatt Regency Baltimore. Is there anything else I can help you with tonight?” Tammy asked in her overly robotic voice.

  “Tammy you have been quite helpful, thank you, she said as brightly as she could manage. She also forced a smile as she almost ran for the elevator Tammy had indicated would take her to her room.

  Walking into the hotel room she first saw a huge bouquet of assorted purple flowers and then her eyes saw the basket and she stood there and started to cry.

  “Agent MacGregor, you certainly know how to make a girl feel welcomed,” she said while popping a few pieces of cheese into her mouth. I feel like such a heel.

  ***

  Kelsey pulled into the hotel entrance for the covered parking area when she heard her phone chirp again. She picked it up and viewed her text messages. All four were from Miranda.

  “I’m pulling in on the bus at Haines.”

  “I’m waiting for a cab.”

  “I’m in a cab and driving to hotel.”

  “THANK YOU! They’re beautiful.”

  Glad that the author liked her surprise welcome gifts but wishing she hadn’t done it now because it was inappropriate for her to give the author special treatment. She’s only a witness after all. It had been Nanna’s ideas to have something nice waiting for her in her room after her long bus ride. The snack platter and bath salts were because she knew the author would be tired and hungry. She didn’t know why she had asked for a huge bouquet of purple lilies to be waiting in the room just down from her own. Yes you do. Even though she hurt your feelings, you wanted to see a smile on her face again.

  Seeing the time the last text entry had been sent she realize
d that Miranda had only just arrived before her. She thought about going to see the author and talking with her but she still hurt too much. Telling herself it was Nanna she felt most hurt for, she called her grandmother to tell her she had arrived safe.

  After ending her call to Nanna, her phone rang and she saw Nikki’s photo on the screen.

  “Hi Nikki, what’s up?” She tried to sound interested in talking to her best friend and colleague. She knew she hadn’t pulled it off when she heard the intake of breath and Nikki spoke sharply.

  “Wow don’t sound so enthusiastic there Mack. I missed you too.”

  “Sorry Nikki I just got back to the hotel and I am bone-tired, could we catch up later...as in tomorrow after I get some sleep?” She said around a long yawn.

  “Sure, I just wanted to see how the weekend went with you and the author or should I say Miranda since you two are on a first-name basis.” She snickered. “Maybe that is why you are so tired. You two stayed up talking all night getting to know one another. I bet you...”

  “Nikki,” she stopped her friend’s rhyming off all the possible scenarios. “I had a really good weekend with my family and Nanna. Miss Gauthier and I are not friends. We didn’t stay up all night talking or getting to know each other.”

  “Okay. Sorry I hit a nerve. You really are tired and cranky. Call me when you are more rested. Bye.”

  She didn’t get to say another word as the call ended. Frowning she slipped the phone back into her pocket as she fumbled for her room key card. From her peripheral vision she saw a dark form to her right. Turning she saw Miranda Gauthier standing outside her room looking surprised and hurt, no one needed to tell her that the author had overheard her side of the conversation with Nikki. She was caught between knowing what she should do and what she had to do and she chose the latter, which was to leave the author standing in the hall as she entered her room. I’m too upset to face her right now.