Burning Ember
Page 30
Confusion flickers over Mav’s face and then he scrutinizes mine. He takes in the emotions rioting through me. Surely, they’re written all over my expression for him to see.
“I gave it up to Edge,” he explains to me and not Dozer. “I bought a place nearby and didn’t want to hog up a big room that I wouldn’t need anymore.”
It wasn’t him. It wasn’t him. Oh, my God . . . it wasn’t him.
A balloon swells inside me and I let the pent up air in my lungs escape in a rush.
He’s standing there in a black T-shirt, dark jeans, his cut, and his necklace hanging over his shirt. He takes a step toward me and then another, and my hands start to shake.
“Can I talk to you?” he asks.
I nod numbly, still in a daze.
“Alone.” Not a question.
“Okay.”
“You sure?” This time the question comes from Dozer. I look back over my shoulder at him. He’s glaring at Mav, but his gaze swings to me for a second.
“Yes.” The word comes out whispery soft from between my lips.
Dozer lets out a disapproving grunt and trudges past me. He slams his shoulder into Mav and pushes him back. For a second, I think they’re going to throw down right here on the stairs, but they don’t. They only exchange deadly glares and Dozer moves closer. He whispers something to Mav too low for me to hear and then gives him one final push before he leaves.
“The fuck’s that about?” A gruff voice says behind me. Turning my head, I see Edge standing next to Star in the hallway. He’s shirtless and his jeans have been left unbuttoned. He’s thin, too thin, but every bit of him is also pure muscle.
“Nothin’,” Mav replies.
Edge’s haunted eyes shift from Mav to me. His gaze slides down my body. “This the redhead you threatened to cut my balls off if I touched? This your girl?”
Mav comes toward me until he’s blocking me from Edge, standing right in front of me. His hand slides down and his fingers intertwine with mine. Looking into my eyes, he says, “Not yet, but I’m workin’ on it.”
There are men you should love, because they’re great men, and then there are men that simply take the choice away from you.
EMBER
We pass two doors before Mav unlocks one and pulls me inside. Daylight streams in through the window across from us, shedding light on the queen-sized oak bed up against the wall, and the Berber carpet that’s seen better days. The space is half the size of his other room, and there’s a subtle citrus scent, as if it’s recently been cleaned.
“It’s not much,” he says, “but I won’t be living here, just crashing in it when I need to.”
I take in the wrinkled champagne-colored comforter. “The bedding looks new.”
He nods. “It is. The mattress too.”
We’re both staring at the bed. The air around us buzzes with awkward silence and sexual tension.
Mav clears his throat and turns fully toward me.
He’s so devastatingly handsome that it’s almost crippling, and I have to force my body not to react on the outside though inside it’s lighting up like the fourth of July.
There’s a good amount of stubble covering his jaw. The cut on his lip is nearly healed and he’s no longer sporting the bruises Dozer gave him. In fact, his cheeks are tan and sun kissed, which does incredible things for his light eyes.
His thumb brushes over my knuckles. It draws my attention to our joined hands. His big warm hand dwarfs mine. His hold is relaxed enough that if I wanted to pull away, I’d be able to, and I like that.
He steps closer. At the same time, he raises my chin. “You thought it was me with Star?”
Even the mentioning of it has my stomach curling into knots. There’s no point it denying it.
“They were going at it in your room, rather loudly, what else was I supposed to think?” I say as heat skyrockets to my cheeks.
Almost shyly, he asks, “How did that make you feel?” He tilts his head and searches for the answer in my eyes.
How did it make me feel?
Like a wrecking ball had crashed into me. Like I’d eaten raw fish and it was having a war with my stomach. Like I’d barely given myself permission to hope for something only to see it turn to smoke and ash.
I can’t say any of that though. Instead, I shake my head.
He lays his palm over my stomach. “Did it make you sick?” he asks softly. My skin heats and my abdomen muscles contract underneath his hand.
Yes . . .
I close my eyes to fight the pull of him. But it’s overwhelming. My body’s waking up from the death it just experienced, and I’m aware of every breath, his and mine.
“Doll?”
The cadence of his tone is changing. It’s almost pleading . . .
His hand moves to lay over my pounding heart. I feel him. And when I say I feel him, I mean I feel him. His touch isn’t just skin deep, it goes all the way down to every part of me, wraps around all my vital organs, and travels back up only to pierce my heart.
“What about here?” he whispers this time. And I swear I can count his heart beats through the veins in his palm.
Oh, God . . .
I can’t breathe . . .
Moisture builds behind my eyes.
“Doll?”
Slowly, I blink open my eyes.
His earnest expression kills me. “I need to know. Did you feel something here?” His eyes drop down to my mouth.
A breathy “Yes” escapes from my lips.
Oh . . . sweet heaven. Tell me that wasn’t my voice.
He slides his hand around to my nape and threads his fingers gently into my hair.
“It makes me crazy to think about you with someone else, to the point I can’t think straight. When I see you with Dozer, talkin’ to him, his hands on you, you smiling at him, my whole fuckin’ body feels like it’s going to explode.” He’s quiet for a second. Then he says, “When I saw you standin’ with him tonight, I thought you’d made your choice. I thought I’d already lost my chance.”
His amber gaze roams over my face. “Have I?”
It’s hard to stay focused with his body this close to mine, his intoxicating smell all around me, his lips a few inches away, and those eyes devouring me. Damn, those eyes.
It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell him no. But for three days, I’ve thought about this moment. I’ve thought about what I need to say to Mav before I open the door for him to come into my heart. Not that he hasn’t already—Lord knows he has—but I can’t open it any further without drawing a line about how I need to be treated going forward.
“I guess it depends.”
“On?”
“On whether or not you’re going to suddenly switch personalities on me and go back to being . . . like you were.”
His serious expression becomes more severe. “I won’t. It’s sick, but it took hurting you to snap some fuckin’ sense into me. I know now you didn’t deserve any of the shit I laid at your feet, and I swear on my life, I’m never gonna lay another hand on you.”
I place my hand on his chest and push, but he’s immoveable. He’s a rock, a leaning one that seems to be getting further and further into my space. “And I’m just supposed to believe you?”
He licks his lips and takes a deep breath. “Before, I couldn’t see past the hate riding me. Now I see what I should’ve seen that first day. You’re not her, and I have to fuckin’ change or something amazing is going to slip through my hands. If it hasn’t already.”
I try to look away but he cups my face.
“Look, I know I can’t fix this with words, Doll. It’ll take time. And even though you have every right to hate me and tell me to fuck off,”—he rubs his thumb over my jaw—“I’m beggin’ for that time. I can prove things are different. That I’m different.”
His gaze sweeps over my face. “Fuck. I was chasin’ the reaper when you walked into my office that day. I didn’t give a damn about anyone or anything, and I didn’t care
if I lived another day.” He rests his forehead against mine. “But now I’m lookin’ forward to tomorrow. And not just tomorrow, but what’s gonna happen in the next ten minutes, in the next few hours, and in the next few days . . . because I hope I’ll be spendin’ that time with you.”
He closes his eyes and shakes his head. “Please, just give me some time.”
I make him sweat it out. Not because I’m wavering, my decision was already made the minute I saw him standing on the stairs. I’m making him wait for my answer because of the hell he put me through for nearly two weeks.
“I will. But . . .”
Still cupping my face, a tentative smile tugs at the corners of his mouth.
“You hurt me again and I’m gone. No third chance. No excuses. You let me go and you don’t follow me.”
The muscle in his jaw ticks twice before he says, “All right.” He sweeps my bangs away from my eyes, tilts my face up, and places a slow, soft peck on my lips. “Thank you.”
“Don’t make me regret this.”
“I won’t.” His lips caress mine. “And Doll, you control this. Every part of it. If you want me around, I’ll be there. If you need time or space . . . I’ll give it to you. It’s your call.” He strokes my cheekbone and his voice lowers. “If you wanna take it slow, we’ll take it slow. Just as long as we take this somewhere.”
In an instant, I’m hot all over. I’m in a daze of lust, but not enough that the word slow doesn’t trigger a collage of bad memories. Without thinking I mumble, “I’ve never had slow.”
He pulls back. Confusion covers his features and his smile flattens. His brow wrinkles as he studies me. Then something dawns on him and anger flashes through his eyes. “Fuck, babe. I didn’t mean sex. I meant this. Me and you movin’ forward.”
A pained expression flitters over his face. “He never gave it to you soft? Not even the first time?”
Shaking my head, I say, “Not once.”
His nostrils flare and his jaw hardens. “Motherfucker.” The grip he has on my nape tightens. “You deserved better, Doll.”
Yeah I did. I know I did. That’s why I did everything in my power to leave him.
“When we get there, Doll. It’ll be however you need it to be. Like I said, you control this.”
Images of Mav being with Star, and tying Jade down flash through my mind. “But that’s not how you like it. With Jade and . . .”
The muscles in his jaw pop at my reply. His thumb covers my lips. “That’s how I needed it then. It was just about gettin’ off. No emotions. No connection. I didn’t want them touchin’ me. I didn’t want it to last long.” Letting go of my face, he picks up my hand and lifts his shirt, placing my palm under it, against the ropy muscles of his stomach. “Everything’s different with you. I need you touchin’ me. I feel everything when you do. Time fuckin’ stops. With you, it’ll mean somethin’. Every time. No matter how little or how much of yourself you give me.”
If I haven’t already, I think I just fell for him.
Hard . . .
Chills run up my arms, over my shoulders, and down my spine. I can’t help myself as I move my hand further up his chest, feeling more of him. His eyes spark with heat, and his breathing grows ragged.
He reaches up behind him, lifts his shirt over his head, and drops it to the floor at our feet. My eyes skate over every inch of his revealed body. Like a kid in a candy shop, I can’t decide what to taste and touch. What to sample first. His tattoos or his gorgeous skin, or the dark hair that travels from his navel to the hem of his jeans.
He moves our hands up over his chest to right over his heart, which is beating rapidly under my palm.
“This doesn’t beat like this for anyone else.” He tilts his head down and meets my gaze. “Do you understand what I’m sayin’?”
Nodding slightly. “Yeah, I think so.”
“Good, because I’ve been waiting a long fuckin’ time for you to come into my life. Too long. I got fuckin’ impatient and paid the price for it. But I’m ready to be patient now, Doll.” His eyes flicker to my lips. “And I’m gonna spend a long time makin’ it up to you, erasin’ the bad memories with good ones.”
His lips land softly on mine, teasing them before he parts my mouth. When our tongues slide against one another, he growls low. He angles my head and takes my mouth more aggressively.
Any remaining bitterness dissolves, and what’s left of my fight to keep him at a distance crumbles.
Moving my hands up his chest, I appreciate the feel of him, the warm flexing muscles under my fingertips. But when I pause, he breaks our kiss to grate out, “Don’t stop.”
So I don’t. I let my hands roam over his chest and explore every ropey ab, his ribs, and every inch of skin between us. His other hand skims down my shoulder and arm. It slides around my waist. When it palms over my ass, he steps closer, bringing our bodies flush. I moan against his mouth as I get my first feel of his hard-on pressed against me.
Knowing how much I affect him sends a shot of arousal to my core. My nipples harden as they rub against the material of my bra, shirt, and his chest.
His mouth leaves mine but only to kiss the corner of my lips, and my jaw. He nips at my skin there, making me gasp as a shudder of pleasure rolls through me.
My heart is trying to escape my chest. The beat of it is pounding in my ears. The ache between my legs is building to a tormenting degree.
Mav must sense it, because his kisses venture down, closer where I need him to be. He spends only a second sucking lightly on my neck before his mouth finds my collarbone. The pressure and moisture of his lips feels amazing. So amazing that my fingers leave his chest so I can hold his head to me.
He slowly unbuttons my shirt at the back and opens it, granting him more access to my skin.
“Do you want me to stop? Am I going too fast?”
God, no. I shake my head.
“Good. Take this off.” He pulls at my shirt and helps me remove it, revealing the white strapless bra I have on underneath.
From there things escalate quickly. His mouth runs all over my chest, except for where I need him the most, almost as if he’s intent on torturing me slowly. My skin’s on fire, and I need his mouth to cool me down.
After a few moments, I can’t take it anymore. “Please,” I beg.
Mav’s eyes flicker up to my face. He stands and I think he’s going to stop, but instead he reaches around me and unsnaps my bra, never once taking his gaze from mine. The second it drops, his eyes sweep down.
We’re even now. Naked from the waist up. And he takes his time looking at me.
The delicate touch of his hand slides up my ribs, tickling my side. It rises further until his hand is cupping me and his thumb strokes my peaked nipple.
In a voice dripping with reverence, he breathes, “I imagined you bare like this. But never did my imagination do you justice.”
Then his lips are cooling my skin, and his tongue is slowly taunting me with torturous explorations, running over the top of my breast, circling my nipple twice, before sucking and drawing it into his mouth. His mouth on such a sensitive part of my body sparks the first hint of an orgasm.
My nails sink into his back and a desperate whimper, a sound I’ve never made, comes from deep inside my chest.
His hand leaves my chest and trails down my stomach. Tingles ignite everywhere he touches. When he reaches the button of my shorts, he stops.
“We don’t have to have sex. But I want to see you unravel, Doll.”
I nod and his mouth takes mine as he unbuttons my shorts and slides the zipper down. His fingers sink below my panties and slide between my legs.
His chest rumbles, and at finding me wet, he groans, “Sweet Jesus.” Then he rests his forehead against mine. Stares into my eyes. “Is this for me?”
“Yes.”
“You were wet just like this that first day too, when I touched you here, was that . . .”
“I’ve only been like this for you.”
>
“Fuck.”
He crashes his mouth to mine and he kisses me. This kiss is greedy and frenzied. He plunders my mouth like he did the first time. I love it. How he’s both savage and careful not to push me too far.
I gasp in pleasure as he plays with my clit. My orgasm builds with each stroke. Then his thumb takes over teasing my clit and his finger slowly slides into me. So deep. I tense but not because I don’t want him inside me. I tense because I’m so close to losing control.
He stills and draws his hand back.
I whisper, “No. Don’t stop. If feels so good.”
He thrusts gently back in, and as my pleasure builds, he goes deeper, and the slow push and pull starts to drive me mad. When he fills me with two fingers instead of one, my head falls back and I sigh, “Oh my God.”
Mav’s mouth leaves mine. “That’s it. Let go and grip me. Let me feel you.” His fingers pump harder and his tongue imprints on every inch of my mouth.
I hold onto him for dear life and pray this delicious torture never ends. Rocking into him, over and over again, I seek a climax that’s going to blow my world apart, if he’ll just give it to me.
My lust heightens his, as his kiss grows almost brutal and his chest rises heavily and falls against mine.
The spot he’s touching on every thrust has my insides coiling. I close my eyes and lose myself in the feeling. “Mav,” I say his name and nothing else, because my thoughts become jumbled inside my head. The ache he’s stirring inside me builds higher and higher still. Until like a snapped elastic band, it reaches its breaking point, snaps and sends a full-body shudder through me. A river of sensation that takes over every muscle.
Mav’s fingers don’t stop moving inside of me. He’s prolonging the orgasm, the carnal kiss, until he wrings out every bit of it from my body.
And when my knees weaken, he catches me.
His mouth feathers kisses over my jaw, my neck, and my ear. His hot breath has goosebumps spreading over my skin. “Fuck. I’ve never seen anything more fuckin’ perfect.” He grins wickedly and pecks my mouth.