by Robin Roseau
"No, no," said the groom. "It was a chilly night though, so we brought all of them in."
"He's from The Hippa," I said. "He never spent a day of his life inside before coming here."
"He seemed happy for the warmth," said the groom somewhat defensively.
I thought about it and then said, "Well, it's not your fault I wasn't here." I turned back to Hamper. "I won't leave you alone like that again, Boy. But I can't take you out today. We'll go for a nice, long ride tomorrow."
After checking on the horses, I did, indeed, read for a while, but I couldn't concentrate, and it was too much work. I tried playing some music, but that didn't go any better. Eventually I returned to my room and lay down on my bed, staring at the grey skies outside my window.
I probably dozed.
And it's probably safe to say that while I appeared to do a few things that day, it would be fair to say that I spent the day brooding.
Shortly before dinner, Mellara appeared. "You have a letter, Lady Yallameenara."
I sat up and accepted the letter from her. Then, while she set to work on my hair, I opened the letter.
Yalla,
Why didn't you tell me you were back? Even more importantly, why didn't you take me with you?
Princess Juleena tells me you're out of sorts and suggests I wait for an invitation to visit. Please don't make me wait.
Worried.
Muranna
"Lady Yallameenara," said Mellara. "Everyone is asking me where you were."
"Why does anyone care?"
"You know how the castle gossip works."
I'd had time to think about this. "I've never been an adult before. I wanted to experience a little freedom. But I don't know what Princess Juleena wants you to say."
"I don't say anything," she said. "I wouldn't have this position if I were a blabbermouth, Lady Yallameenara."
"Then why do they ask you?"
"A first time for everything?" she suggested.
I laughed and then considered Muranna's note. Was it fair to blame her? Probably not. Was I done blaming her? No. Would I stop blaming her at some point? I sighed. Yes. Which meant I shouldn't burn bridges with her.
"I have a note to send to Lady Griffen's," I said. "Would you see to it?"
"Of course."
Muranna,
I'm a little out of sorts and not ready to see anyone. Perhaps tomorrow, if the princess hasn't made plans for me.
Yalla
* * * *
Dinner was uncomfortable. I said little. Juleena and Ralalta talked about their days and didn't try to force conversation out of me. But afterwards, Ralalta asked if I'd play a song or two with her.
"I didn't bring my violin," I said.
"I can have it fetched."
"Perhaps next time. Please."
"All right," she said. "Next time."
She released me a short while later. Returning to my quarters I found a fresh note from Muranna.
Yalla,
I know you better than this. Don't think you're fooling me. Please talk to me.
Muranna
I thought about my response for a while then finally wrote quite simply.
Muranna,
I am taking Hamper out for exercise in the morning. Perhaps you would join me.
Yalla
* * * *
"Where will you go riding?"
"Hmm?" I hadn't been paying attention. Juleena had simply assumed we would share breakfast again, but if she'd been talking, I'd been lost in thought.
"I asked where you were taking Hamper today?"
"I won't be alone. I invited Muranna."
"Good."
"I'm not sure it is," I said. "I still blame her."
"Are you going to tell her that?"
"I don't know. If she pries, I won't lie."
"Do you want me to come?"
"No," I said. But then I added, "But you could join us for lunch if you want."
"I'd like that."
"Then you can coordinate with Muranna. She always picks the restaurants."
"I'll walk down with you when you head to the stable."
I wore my new coat and the hat Muranna had given me. Juleena and I didn't talk as I got Hamper ready, and then Muranna was there. We looked at each other, but then I turned back to my final preparations for Hamper. Juleena stepped over and made arrangements, then called out to me, "I'll see you at lunch."
I climbed atop Hamper, and we got outside the castle walls before Muranna said, "First, where are we going?"
"I don't care. Hamper needs exercise."
"East?" East was away from the ocean and might not be as cold.
"Sure," I said. And if Juleena had someone following us, I was willing to let them worry. It wasn't like I'd head back to The Hippa with nothing but a small purse and leaving Zana behind.
We didn't talk again until once we were clear of the city. I stepped Hamper into a trot, and I let him work off some of his energy.
Muranna was a good rider, and even better now than when we'd first met. She had no trouble keeping up, and so it was an hour later before we turned back and slowed our horses to an easy walk. Hers was ready for the break, but Hamper tossed his head and told me he'd have been happy to keep up that pace for hours.
"All right," Muranna said. "I've held my tongue, but I want to know what's going on. The day after your birthday, and you just disappear? Why?"
I didn't answer right away, but then I couldn't hold it in. "You should have told me."
"I should have told you what?"
"Everything," I said. "Why didn't I see you wearing that same outfit?"
"Because you, the princess, and the queen didn't arrive until after," she said. "And Princess Juleena swore me to secrecy besides. Is that what happened? You didn't disappear? You were just mad at me?"
"Oh, no," I said. "I was mad at pretty much everyone. You weren't even at the top of the list. Muranna, did they punish you for a sloppy appearance?"
"Of course."
"After assigning tasks that would give you a sloppy appearance?"
She paused. "No."
"Did you have bruises the next day?"
"What?" she snapped.
"Did you?"
"Of course not. Yalla, what happened?"
I didn't answer that. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because the princess. Um. And no one told me. I thought ... you know. A secret. I didn't want to ruin it for you."
"Every child in Framara knows, Muranna," I said. "They see it growing up. Maybe they don't know everything but they know enough. You and I though..."
"And you worse than me," she said. "But the princess-"
I looked away. "I thought your loyalty would be to me ahead of her," I said. "I suppose that's stupid."
"Oh god," she said. "Yalla. Oh god. I just thought. A secret, you know? I didn't want to ruin it for you. Like a surprise party. If it were just a surprise party, you wouldn't have wanted me to tell you. I should have told you, though. Oh, Yalla, I'm sorry. No, my first loyalty is not to the princess. It's to you. You should know that."
"I thought I did," I said. "I guess..." I didn't say anything right away, but then I held out a hand, and she clasped it. We rode that way for a minute or two, but then I took my hand back.
"No one told you about the petitions, either."
"They did," she said. "Juleena did."
"Oh," I said flatly.
"I thought at first she was telling me because she was giving me permission. But then she told me what would happen if you let me start courting you."
"What?"
"We couldn't be best friends anymore," she said. "Or we could, but you would have to move out of the palace. And..."
"And?"
"She said the queen probably wouldn't allow it, anyway, but that if I tried, she might keep us apart."
"Did she say why?"
"No, but I know why."
"Oh?"
"It's because they know if
ever there were a conflict between our countries, my loyalty would be divided."
"Oh."
"And by divided, she meant she doesn't believe I'd put aside my old loyalties and stand with you and Framara instead."
"Oh," I said again.
"I wouldn't want to be in that position, Yalla," she said. "I've thought about..."
"About what?"
"We're both adults. We could go to Alteara. Together. You might like it."
"I find it unlikely the queen would let me go," I said. "I'm hostage to a peace treaty, Muranna."
"I know," she said. "They're letting you court Larien."
"Larien?"
"The ambassador's little sister."
"Oh, right. But you'll notice she's coming here. And she's courting me. I'm not necessarily courting her. I don't know anything about her, and how much can she know about me?"
"Still. Would you want to marry her?"
"I don't know that I'll have much choice in the matter, when it comes to it," I said. "Remember? Hostage and all that."
"You're not really a hostage, are you? Oh god! That's why you were gone, isn't it?"
"It's part of it," I admitted.
"And?"
"And, I don't know," I said. "I made promises I won't do it again."
"Good," she replied.
"Did you notice anyone following us?"
"Out here?" she asked with a laugh. "No. And who could tell inside the city gates?"
We passed a fallow field on our right, and I said, "Do you suppose the farmer would mind if I gave Hamper a better workout?" I gestured.
"Why would he care?"
"I don't know. We'd tear up the field a little. I don't know if that matters."
"It's fallow. I say go for it."
"I think I will," I said, then gave Hamper the signal. We stepped off the road and onto the field. I put him into a trot, and we rode to the far end of the field and back while I checked out the ground. I saw no surprises waiting for us, and so I kicked it up again, asking him to show me what he could do.
Oh, we didn't just run from one end of the field to the other. That wasn't what I wanted.
We zigged. We zagged. We turned tight circles, first one direction, then the other. And Hamper gave me everything I asked for, almost as well as Zana could.
Finally I brought him to a snorting stop facing Muranna. She was grinning at me. "Woe be to anyone who tries to take your horses from you."
"Whatever will I do when they grow old?"
"You should breed them."
I shook my head. I didn't want Zana out of commission that long. But I decided I would ask Queen Ralalta if I could have some of the foals of the other Arrlottan horses, maybe in a few more years. I could buy a few from her, one or two every few years. Maybe Hamper would like to be a sire.
"You know, we probably can't stick to our old tricks too much longer."
Muranna's words interrupted my thoughts. "Why not?" I asked.
"Word has gotten around."
"Word has been around for a while."
"We'll need new tricks," she said. She reached over and fingered my hair. "Would you do something for me?"
"Maybe."
"Would you let your hair grow?"
"I'm used to it short."
"Your future husband wants it long."
"My future husband doesn't exist," I said, "Unless the queen forces me to marry someone. And in that case, while I'll do my duty, that doesn't mean I'm going to go out of my way to make it pleasant for him."
She laughed. "I imagine not. I'd like it long."
"You've never cared in the past."
"Of course I have," she said. "This isn't the first time I've commented on it. Please. For me?"
"I'll think about it."
"Maybe it's Lady Malta who should ask."
"Why Lady Malta?"
"I saw whose scroll you held onto and gave to the queen with a 'yes' instead of a 'whatever you decide, Your Highness'."
"Well, she's old."
"She's not that old."
"She has grey hair."
"She does not, but if she did, it's because we gave them to her."
I laughed. That was probably true. But I'd successfully deflected the question, and that was what mattered.
* * * *
Lunch with Muranna and Juleena was awkward at first. Juleena and Muranna carried the conversation, and I sat quietly. But then Muranna said, "Princess Juleena, I need to say something."
"Of course."
"Yalla pointed out that every child of Framara knows the nature of the ten and eight traditions."
"Yes."
"I will not comment on whether it was proper to leave it as a surprise for either of us. But in the future, if I am put in a position of choosing sides, I will be choosing Yalla's, which is what I should have done this time. Please don't put me in that position again."
"We did not believe we were asking you to choose a side, Muranna."
"Did you wonder whether she would feel betrayed?" Muranna didn't wait for a response. "I had the wrong perspective. I thought I was helping to keep a secret that was kept from everyone as she approached her ten and eighth, similar to keeping secret a surprise party. But of course, you couldn't keep something like this secret from anyone who had grown up here, could you? I should have thought of that, and I didn't."
"You're right. While no one was trying to betray Yalla, I can understand why she would feel that way. I don't expect something like this to ever happen again, but if it does, I hope you will argue for Yalla's perspective."
I didn't look at either of them, but Muranna's words helped me finish forgiving her, and Juleena's calmed me down further from there.
At the conclusion of the meal, Juleena said, "Yalla, I have something that is yours." She pulled my knife from her belt and set it on the table. I'd noticed she was wearing it, but I hadn't said anything about it. "I should have returned it the other night."
"Thank you," I said simply, collecting the knife and adding it to my belt.
In the meantime, Muranna asked, "Why did you have Yalla's knife?"
"Lieutenant Keelara confiscated it from me when she accused me of planning to kill the queen," I said quietly, doing up my buckle."
"She what?" Muranna spat.
"That isn't entirely fair, Yalla," Juleena reproached. "While I agree that Keelara was overcautious, you were in a state, and you did reach for the knife when she first approached you."
That time, Muranna wisely said nothing, and I turned a hard gaze on Juleena. "Is that what she told you? Did she tell you she approached me from behind and scared the crap out of me? I didn't know who it was. I thought I had to defend myself. I relaxed as soon as I knew it was her."
"She explained," Juleena said. "You did nothing wrong, Yalla, but you had your hand on your knife in the presence of a member of the palace guard, and that tends to leave an impression on them, even under those circumstances. She felt you were acting erratically and she only was trying to prevent one possible way that could go too far."
"I suppose in the scheme of things, that was a minor issue," I said. "Thank you for returning my knife."
"You are welcome. I apologize it wasn't sooner. I was distracted."
"It's fine," I said.
A few minutes later, Juleena tried to settle the bill, but I beat her to it. The three of us stepped outside, and Juleena asked, "What are the two of you doing now?"
"Shopping," Muranna said without consulting me. "I'm sure I need a new hat."
"You always need a new hat," I said. But I adjusted mine. "This was a good choice, Muranna. I like it. I don't need a new hat, but I have some crowns to spend. How about you, Princess? Do you have crowns that require spending?"
"I might have a small purse with me," she said. "Lead the way."
Muranna took my arm and tugged. We got going, but then I came to a decision. I held my hand backwards behind me. A moment later, Juleena took it, and I pulled her to my si
de. And that was how we walked through the streets of Marport.
I didn't have anything in particular in mind. I just wanted to spend a little money. But Muranna was definitely on the hunt for a new hat. She had her three favorite millineries, and she was a steady customer of each. It was at the second that the milliner had made a new hat with Muranna in mind. "I thought this would go well with your cream and teal gown," the woman said as she adjusted it atop Muranna's head. "It brings out your eyes."
Hats really were Muranna's weakness, although she could be quite particular about it. But this time, the milliner had it perfectly, and everyone could see Muranna was left in a poor bargaining position. She admired herself in the mirror for a minute or two and then offered a wry smile.
"How much of my purse do you intend to take today?"
"Lady Muranna," said the woman, "You are one of my best customers. I would not take advantage of you." She named a figure and then described what had gone into the hat: the materials, the effort.
"Did you really have me in mind?"
"Of course. With most of my hats, I think of someone specific when I design them. Oh, certainly most of these hats will be purchased by someone other than the envisioned woman." Then she gestured. "When I made this one, I was thinking of Lady Gaston's daughter."
"Oh," Muranna said. "You mean Jarra, not Seelie."
"Ah, yes, the younger daughter," said the milliner. "Princess, can you think whom I envisioned when making this hat?"
Juleena hadn't been paying particular attention, but clearly enough. She turned to look at the hat in question then said softly, "Mother."
"Yes," said the woman. "And that one, the one on the stand?"
We turned, and it was obvious. "Me," said Juleena. "I don't believe I've ever purchased a hat here."
"You haven't, although you've received one or two as gifts." She smiled. "When I let it known a particular hat was designed for you or the queen, that is frequently all it takes to entice a sale, at least with some women."
Juleena chuckled but moved over and raised her hand to the hat in question but offered a glance to the milliner. After a nod of permission, Juleena lifted it and set it atop her head. Muranna stepped over and adjusted it for her.
"It fits perfectly," Muranna said.
"Of course. It was designed for the princess."
"I think the last hat I bought I was out with you, Yalla," the princess said. "You are an influence."