A Paper Marriage

by Jessica Steele

  'Non-committed goes hand in hand with you having your own room,' Jonah assured her.

  `Oh, Jonah, am I being difficult?' She all at once felt dreadful. 'I'm sorry. You're probably stressed out too!' He said nothing, and she went rushing on, `Bearing in mind what's between us, I'd like to be friends with you-if we can.'

  She could almost see him smile as he rolled the words, `Friends and lovers,' around on his tongue. And, while her heart was jumping around like a wild thing, `But not the two together this weekend,' he said softly. `Do you know, Lydie, I would be honoured to be your friend.'

  Her backbone was ready to melt. `Shall I see you at Yourk House on Saturday?' she asked, striving her hardest to be sensible.

  `I'll call for you at your place around six on Friday,' Jonah decided, and, with nothing more to agree on, `Till then,' he said, and rang off.

  And Lydie came away from the phone in something of a daze. It seemed a positive age since she had last seen Jonah, but she was gong to spend the whole weekend with him-which they would use in getting to know each other. She couldn't wait. She absolutely hungered for a sight of him. She loved him so much.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  FRIDAY could not come round fast enough, though her mother was not at all pleased that Lydie would not be at home that weekend. `I just don't know how you can think of going away when there's such a lot still to be done!' Hilary Pearson complained.

  Lydie did not want to argue. `Mother you're such a brilliant organiser,' she replied, which was only the truth. `You're so far in advance, my being away for the weekend won't make a scrap of difference.'

  `There's you wedding dress...'

  'I'm collecting it next Wednesday.' And, beating her mother to it, `And I've arranged with Kitty, Emilia and Gaynor to see them on Thursday about their fittings.'

  'Donna...'

  `And I'm taking Donna' a dress with me when I go to see her.'

  `What if... ?"

  'And it shouldn't need altering. Donna has spoken personally to the fitter over the phone.'

  `It's a pity she can't leave those children for a day to come with you and your cousins on Thursday,' Hilary Pearson said spiffily.

  Lydie was ready and waiting and eager to be away when Jonah called for her on Friday. She opened the door to him and saw him standing there tall, broad shouldered, saying nothing but just looking back at her with those fantastic blue eyes. For several speechless seconds while her insides went all peculiar all she was capable of doing was just staring at him. Was she actually marrying this fabulous all-male man two weeks tomorrow? Lydie looked from him and stepped back. `My parents are out,' she excused them not being there to say hello, `but I'm all ready.'

  Gradually over the drive to Yourk House Lydie started to unwind. She rather thought Jonah had a lot to do with that. `Still stressed out?' he asked pleasantly as they motored on.

  `I'm sorry about that,' she apologised. `Compared with what you must cope with every day, my getting in a state-stamping my foot, you'd call it-because my mother wants me to carry a bouquet of lilies when I want to carry lisianthus seems quite ridiculous.'

  `No, it doesn't,' he denied. `You're the bride. If you want to carry a posy of dandelions nobody should stop you.' She laughed. She loved him. `What are you carrying?' he asked.

  'Lisianthus,' she answered.

  `Did I ever tell you that lisianthus are my favourite flowers?'

  Lydie laughed again. Lying hound! `You don't even know what they look like!' she accused.

  Yourk House was a lovely old house. It was set in its own grounds and did not appear to have a near neighbour. Lydie stood on the drive with him, and he glanced down at her. `Come inside and I'll show you around-then you can tell me if you think you could be happy here.'

  Lydie knew as soon as she walked through the door that she could be. The house seemed to have a feel about it. It welcomed her. 'We'll be living here after... ?"

  'When we're married,' he agreed, and dropped their weekend bags down by the bottom of the wide and elegant staircase while he showed her round the downstairs rooms.

  Yourk House was not as old as her present home, nor did it have as many rooms as Beamhurst Court, but what it lacked in age and size it made up for in style and comfort.

  Upstairs there were five bedrooms and adjoining facilities, and they looked at each bedroom in turn. `This is the one I thought you'd like this weekend,' Jonah said, opening the door to a large, high-ceilinged airy room.

  `It's lovely,' she murmured, and went in, admiring the four-poster bed and the charming furniture. She went over to the window and looked out. It was peaceful and tranquil, and she loved it.

  Leaving that room, Jonah took her to see his bedroom, the master bedroom. And she knew that, when they returned from honeymoon, this would be her bedroom too. She would share this bedroom with Jonah. Her mouth went dry and she went to one of the windows in the room. She felt then that she should tell him that she had never slept with a man before-but her throat seemed too locked to tell him anything.

  She knew he had come to stand beside her, but when he placed a casual arm about her shoulder, her thoughts just seemed to blank off. `You're trembling!' She heard his voice somewhere above her head. `Oh, my-' He broke off, and turned her to face him. She looked up at him; his expression was serious. 'You're-not afraid of me, Lydie?' he asked.

  She immediately shook her head. `No,' she answered truthfully. 'I'm not afraid of you at all.' She smiled at him, he seemed a shade worried and she didn't want that. `What I am-and I can hardly believe it myself-is shy, I think. I thought I'd grown out of that long since, but...'

  Her voice faded when Jonah took her in his arms and held her close up to him. Instinctively she placed her head on his chest, and he held her like that for long wonderful minutes. `We'll be all right together,' he assured her. `We've barely seen one another since we became engaged, and we didn't see so much of each other before then.' He paused, and then suggested, 'We'll make up for that this weekend.'

  `Agreed,' she said, and, looking up, she smiled, and because she loved him, so as he looked down she stretched up and kissed him, not passionately, but a kiss that was perhaps just a little more than 'friends'. His arms tightened about her.

  She pulled back. `W-was that all right?' she asked shakily.

  He smiled. `Very all right,' he answered, and she started to wonder what on earth had got into her-and stepped back. `Would you like to look around on your own while I shower and get out of my work clothes?' he suggested. `Then we'll go out and eat.'

  Lydie awoke early on Saturday morning in the room Jonah had shown her to. She lay there thinking of him and marvelling at how well they had got on with each other last night. She had not thought it possible to love him more than she had, but with each new facet she learned of him she fell yet deeper in love with him. He had been a charming dinner companion.

  Thinking of the previous evening reminded her that, at some point in one of their many conversations that had rambled all over the place, he had last night, in some throwaway kind of remark, mentioned that nobody had brought him an earlymorning cup of tea in bed since the day he had left home for university.

  Lydie was out of bed in a flash, pausing for a moment to consider getting showered and dressed first, but then fearing that by then Jonah might be up and about. She tied her cotton wrap about her and tiptoed down the stairs.

  A short while later, tea tray in hand, she was coming back up the stairs but was by then having second thoughts. She couldn't do it. It would be like invading his privacy. But why shouldn't she? It would make him smile, and anyway...

  In the end, having dithered outside his door for long hesitating seconds, Lydie knocked lightly on his door and went in. 'Lydie!' he exclaimed, awake and starting to sit up. He seemed genuinely pleased to see her.

  `Your tea, sir,' she said, and he too remembered their conversation, and grinned.

  `Where's yours?' he wanted to know.

  `I left it in the kitchen.'r />
  Lydie went over to him, and as he sat there she saw from his broad naked chest that he seemed to favour sleeping in the raw-his top half anyway, and she didn't want to know about anything else. She averted her gaze and placed the tray on his bedside table.

  She would have hurried away then, only he caught a light hold of her wrist. `Come and talk to me,' he urged.

  `I...' She looked into his wonderful eyes. `What do you want to talk about?"

  'Anything,' he replied, and moved over to make room. `Sit here and-' his mouth quirked upwards `-naturally in a non-committed way, let's get-intimate.'

  That word `intimate' shook her a little, but any implication she might have been wary of was negated by his use, in the same sentence, of those words 'non-committed'. So she took that step needed to bring her against the bed.

  `Here,' he said, holding out his right arm.

  Lydie would have chosen to sit facing him, her feet on the floor, but this was the man she loved, for heaven's sake, and in no time she had disposed of her slippers and was sitting on top of the bed covers with Jonah's right arm about her shoulders. And-it was bliss.

  Though with regard to talking about anything, feeling the warmth of his arm about her through the thinness of her light wrap, she could think of nothing else, and certainly nothing to say.

  That was until, `What pretty toes you have,' Jonah observed.

  She looked at her pale delicate feet, which looked pretty normal to her. `Thank you kindly,' she said, and laughed, and commented, `Peculiar things, feet,' and laughed again at the absurdity of her answer, and was ready to collapse when he dropped a light kiss on her hair-as if he cared for her. `Do you 1-like me?' she asked in a rush, and immediately apologized. 'I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked that.'

  `Of course you should. I'd like to think we could talk about anything at all without embarrassment.' She heard a smile creep into his voice as he went on to ask, `And would I permanently marry myself to someone I actually disliked?T

  'That-wouldn't be sensible,' she murmured, striving her best to be sensible herself then and there, when his head came nearer, touched hers, and they sat, he under the covers from the waist down, she on top of the covers, with their heads one against the other. 'Er-what shall we do to day?' she asked, about the only practical thing she could find floating around in her intellect just then.

  `I've made arrangements for us to go and select our wedding rings,' he answered, causing her heart, which hadn't seemed to act normally for some while now, to start leaping about again.

  `Our wedding rings?' she repeated. `You're having a wedding ring as well?"

  'If you're going to wear a marriage band, it seems only fair that I should,' he answered, and suddenly, after all the weeks of preparation that had been going on, only then did any of it all at once start to feel real.

  Lydie pulled a little away from him, tense suddenly, half turning so she could see into his face. `It's really going to happen, isn't it?"

  'Our marriage?' She nodded, her eyes wide as she looked at him. He could, she supposed, have reminded her toughly of her father's despair if their marriage did not go ahead. But he didn't get tough, he instead smiled, and told her, `Your future mother-in-law and my future mother-in-law will give us hell if it doesn't.'

  Lydie had to smile, her tension instantly vanishing. She looked at him, loved him-and knew that this just would not do. `I'd better go,' she said quickly, and would have manoeuvred herself off the bed-only Jonah took a hold of her hand and held her there.

  She gave him a questioning glance. `There's no hurry, sweetheart,' he murmured lightly, `but how about we make a start by greeting each day-with a kiss?'

  Lydie felt colour flare to her face. He was right, of course. Soon they would be man and wife, in every respect, maybe it was time to break down a few of those shyness barriers, and to skirt the edges of a more intimate relationship.

  She looked at him. `I'd like to,' she mumbled.

  `Still lying, Lydie?"

  'I'm never going to lie to you again,' she promised solemnly. `But...' She was starting to tremble; she was wearing next to nothing. It was a new situation. `I'm a bit nervous, I think,' she confessed. She had kissed him yesterday, but he had been dressed then, and today, now, this minute, he was wearing next to nothing too. It was a new situation and she felt too all over the place. `Could you do it? The kissing, I mean.'

  He stared at her for long moments, then, as if feeling her trembling and not wanting her nervous of him, he gently gathered her in his arms. `You'll be safe with me, Lydie,' he breathed against her mouth, `I'll never harm you.'

  Oh, Jonah. Their lips met in such a gentle kiss she could have cried from the tenderness of it. She felt quite mesmerised when it ended, and looked deep into his eyes-until she suddenly became aware that her hands were on his hair strewn naked chest, her fingers touching his nipples.

  `Oh!' she cried in consternation.

  Jonah stared at her, comprehension dawning about what that `oh' had been all about. `You haven't had many lovers, have you, Lydie?'

  Intimate? They were supposed to be getting to know each other-but she still couldn't tell him of her lack of knowledge in the lover department. `I'm going,' she said, and leapt from the bed to hurry back to her own room.

  She showered and got dressed feeling very much mixed up. Perhaps it was only natural that she should feel a shyness, a reserve, with the man she was going to marry. Theirs wasn't a normal kind of courtship, she knew. But perhaps in the getting to know each other field in normal courtships everyone found there were barriers to be dismantled, piece by piece. Then she remembered that wonderful kiss of not so long ago, and everything else faded from her mind.

  They had a toast and coffee breakfast, and Lydie was glad to find Jonah's manner was the same as it had ever been. He was super to be with and she enjoyed every moment of sitting beside him as they motored into town.

  They chose matching plain gold rings, and, Jonah taking charge of both rings, they left the jewellers and drove back to Yourk House. Lydie made them a sandwich lunch while Jonah checked the computer in his study for mail.

  'I'll show you around the village,' he suggested after lunch, and they walked and talked and talked and walked, and Lydie's heart was so full she just wanted to hold and hold him. Theirs might not be a normal kind of courtship, or a courtship at all, but Jonah seemed to effortlessly be making an effort for them to start off on the right footing.

  They dined out again that night. Jonah had a part-time live-out housekeeper who saw to it that Yourk House was kept up to the mark. `Mrs Allen would have come in this weekend, but I thought we'd manage fine by ourselves,' Jonah confided, going on, `Doubtless you'll want to organise household matters your own way when we return from our honeymoon. I'm sure Mrs Allen will be pleased to work to suit you.'

  `From what I can see, Mrs Allen is doing a first-class job without any input from me. But I'll be glad to talk matters over with her,' Lydie replied, inwardly thanking him for trying to make the transition from daughter of one house to mistress of another smooth for her.

  They returned to Yourk House after dinner, Lydie refusing the offer of coffee or any other beverage but offering to make coffee for Jonah if he fancied a cup. He shook his head. `How are you feeling now?' he asked, once they were relaxing in his drawing room. `You were a little strung up when I called for you yesterday.'

  `It's amazing what a little over twenty-four hours can do,' she replied. `I must have needed to get away for a short while.' She smiled across at him. `If I get to feel any more relaxed, I'll fall over.' Jonah smiled too, his glance on her mouth, moving to her eyes, then back down to her lips again. Then Lydie was recalling the way he'd checked his mail in his study before lunch. `Is there some work you should be doing? Don't let me stop...'

  `You're trying to get rid of me,' he accused.

  `Not at all!' she answered, but, having enjoyed being with him so much, she started to feel guilty about having monopolised so much of his tim
e. `I think I'll make tracks for bed,' she decided, and wished she'd kept her mouth shut when he did not argue.

  She got to her feet, and Jonah followed suit, walking with her to the door. When he stopped at the door but instead of opening it just stood looking down at her, so Lydie realised that because this weekend together had brought them closer, they were now `kissing fiances'.

  'Er-goodnight,' she said, and took a step nearer to him, her heart drumming that new beat. She raised her face to his, and he bent, and he kissed her.

  `Goodnight,' he answered gravely, and abruptly opened the door for her to go through.

  Lydie took another shower before getting into her nightdress and climbing into the four-poster. She and Jonah would be all right, wouldn't they? He was kind, considerate and, while he did not love her-did love matter? And if it did matter that he would never love her, what then? She would still have to marry him. For her father, if not for herself, she would have to marry Jonah.