BRICK (Lords of Carnage MC)

by Daphne Loveling

  We do manage to slip in a few nights together — which he jokingly calls “conjugal visits” — so at least I can carry the memory of his body with me to work in the mornings sometimes. Our lovemaking is intense and passionate, and afterwards, we both fall into an exhausted sleep. When I wake in the mornings, Gavin is usually already getting dressed, and heads out the door even before I have to leave to open up the coffee shop.

  We see so little of each other that I never quite find the time to bring up the texts from Devon like I planned to. Or tell Gavin about the details of how and why I left Atlantic City. I don’t want to waste what little time we have together, so I tell myself I’ll wait until his crisis with the MC has passed and then I’ll tell him the whole story. Sometimes, lying awake in his arms, listening to his breathing as he sleeps, I feel a pang of guilt, but I push it away. Gavin’s got enough on his mind. I’m not sure what’s happening with the club, but whatever it is, I want him to be focused on keeping himself safe right now, not on worrying about me.

  One afternoon, about a week and a half after the first night I spent with him at his lake house, I’m at the Golden Cup, trying to keep my mind off how much I miss Gavin. It’s late afternoon, and Hailey is here working. Her crush, Teddy, is sitting at a small table against the wall by the condiment station, doing homework. Every ten minutes or so, Hailey will go over to him and they’ll engage in some obvious flirting, with her tossing back her hair and laughing at his jokes like he’s the funniest person she’s ever met. And right now, he probably is.

  Maybe it should bug me that she’s kind of shirking on the job, but it’s actually sort of sweet. And anyway, she doesn’t do it when there are customers waiting, so it’s not yet to the level where I feel like I have to reprimand her.

  “So…” I murmur in a low voice, after one of her trips to his table. “What’s up with the two of you? Are you going out yet?”

  “No, not yet,” she tells me, her face turning pink. “We’re just friends. I don’t even know if he likes me that way.”

  “Oh, please,” I laugh. “Hailey, he’s sitting in this shop, by himself, doing his homework while you’re working. He’s only here because you are. There’s no other reason he’d be here.”

  “Her eyes widen hopefully. “Do you think so?” she asks. Oh, my gosh, was I ever this young? I wonder.

  “Yes, I do.” I glance over at Teddy, and catch him staring our way. When he sees me looking at him, he hastily puts his head down and pretends to concentrate on his homework. “So relax. He likes you. Enjoy it.”

  She leans toward me conspiratorially. “I think he might ask me to homecoming,” she whispers.

  “I think he might, too,” I grin.

  A customer comes in then, and I let Hailey serve him while I go in the back and check that the bathroom doesn’t need cleaning or restocking. She’s just ringing him up when I come back out.

  “Hailey, I’ve been meaning to ask you,” I say. “Do you happen to know any reliable kids your age who might want to work here? The shop’s getting busy enough that I think it’s time for me to hire some more people.”

  Honestly, I probably should have done this a couple of months ago. It’s getting to the point that at our busiest times, it’s almost too much for one person to handle. But I’ve held off until now because until recently, it never bothered me to work long hours. Now, though…

  Well, as much as I hate to admit it, the prospect of having a little more free time is definitely starting to sound appealing. Especially because that would mean I’d have more time to see Gavin, once he’s dealt with his club problem. It makes me feel sort of silly to think in those terms. I’ve never rearranged my life for a relationship before. But having Gavin in my life has made me realize how little of a social life I’ve given myself since I moved to Tanner Springs.

  Now, I’m sort of hoping that that might change. Already, Sam’s been back to the coffee shop, this time with Jenna, and the two of them asked me if I’d want to come out with them sometime for drinks and dinner.

  Hailey tilts her head, considering my question. “I think so. Yeah. At least one, that I can think of right now. One of my friends is saving up money to go on a class trip to Paris for spring break. I bet she’d be interested. I’ll ask around.”

  “Thanks.” It would be great if I could manage to get some good workers through Hailey. She’s a good kid, and her friends, from what I’ve seen of them, seem pretty level-headed as well.

  Teddy comes up to the counter then. “Hey,” he nods to Hailey, looking at her through his curtain of black bangs. “My mom just texted me. She wants me to come home for dinner. My dad’s been gone on a work trip for the last week, and he just got back.”

  “Oh, okay,” Hailey says, looking disappointed.

  “Hey. You could come for dinner, if you want,” he says suddenly.

  “Wouldn’t your mom mind?” Hailey asks. She’s trying in vain to keep the excitement out of her voice.

  “Nah. My mom would be cool with it. She’s always okay with friends eating over. She just wants us all there tonight, is all.”

  Hailey opens her mouth to respond, and then looks over at me. “Oh. That’d be cool, but… I’m supposed to work until close tonight.”

  I probably shouldn’t do it, but I just can’t be the reason Hailey doesn’t get to go over to Teddy’s house for dinner.

  “It’s fine,” I say, waving my hand at her. “I can close up tonight.”

  “Are you sure?” Hailey looks like she can’t believe I’m doing this. “I mean…”

  “It’s really no problem.” I smile at her. “Things are kind of slow right now, anyway. I bet I can get most of it done before closing time.”

  Teddy goes to pack up his stuff. Hailey gives me an excited grin and mouths “Thank you!” at me as she hops off to go grab her backpack from the back.

  “I owe you like a million!” she whispers to me when she comes back. Teddy’s by the door now, waiting for her.

  “All I expect is a full report,” I murmur. “And find me some employees.”

  “Done!” Hailey hops off, a cute little skip in her step, and follows Teddy out of the shop. I watch as the two of them get into his car and drive away. Ah, young love…

  As I predicted, it continues to be a slow late afternoon and evening, and I’m able to get a lot of the closing stuff done while the shop is still open. By the time I flip over the closed sign and lock the door, all I still have to do is clean the bathroom, take out the trash, and do a quick sweep of the floors. I decide to do the bathroom last, because that’s the job I hate the most. So I grab the broom and sweep the front, then dump the debris in the large garbage can I keep by the counter. Tying off the full bag, I lug it to the back, kick open the back door, and move the heavy cinder block I leave back there, to keep the door propped open so it doesn’t lock behind me.

  I make it to the dumpster, throw the bag in, and go back inside. I put a fresh bag in the large bin, then move on to the other, smaller ones, combining them into one large bag, which I haul out as well. When I’m back inside, I’m about to kick the cinder block away when I realize I forgot the trash can in the bathroom.

  I’m walking back down the hall, wondering if I can get away with just scrubbing the toilet before I leave, when a sudden movement to my left startles me. Before I can turn to see what it is, I’m slammed roughly against the wall, a hand wrapping around my throat.

  “I believe,” Devon says in a low, menacing voice, “that I asked you where the hell’s my money?”

  32

  Sydney

  I’m so shocked that I don’t even have time to cry out. The only sound that manages to escape is a small choking sound when I feel the hard metallic jut of a gun barrel against the sensitive skin of my throat.

  “Did you really fucking think you could escape me?” Devon rasps through clenched teeth. “Did you really think I wouldn’t track you down? I’ve been watching you, you know. Biding my time.”

  Hi
s grasp around my throat is so painfully tight I’m having trouble breathing, even through my nose. I’m clutching wildly at the wall, trying to find some purchase so I can pull away, but there’s nothing.

  I can’t breathe. Is he here to kill me? Is this really it? Do I die here? My brain tries to form coherent thoughts, to keep my panic from taking control of me.

  Devon is pressed close against me now, his body pinning me against the wall. Through the fabric of his pants, I can feel that he’s hard. “I’m taking my hand away now,” he mutters. “Don’t scream. Are we clear?” Wide-eyed, I nod as much as I’m able. Slowly, he releases my throat. I gasp, taking in desperate lungfuls of air. Tears spring to my eyes.

  He pulls the gun from my throat and takes a step away, training it on me as he watches me trying to catch my breath. His face is a mixture of lust and hatred.

  “I’ve missed you, Syd,” he says simply, and for a moment he sounds like the old days. “Why the fuck did you leave? Why the fuck did you have to steal from me?”

  Shit. I don’t know how to play this. Devon feels… volatile. I’ve never seen this side of him, at least not directed toward me. My mind is racing, grasping at any possible means of escape. But I can’t see anything. Not yet, not while he has a gun. The only thing I can think to do is answer his questions. Tell him the truth, more or less. And try to bide my time until he gets distracted and I can try to get the weapon away from him somehow.

  “Devon,” I begin, forcing my voice not to quiver. “I didn’t steal from you. Not really. You and I both know you were skimming money from the team. I just took back what I was owed. I didn’t even take it all. Just enough to get me started someplace else.”

  He doesn’t move for a second. I’m afraid he’s going to fly into a rage. But for some reason, his face goes deadly calm.

  “That money could have been both of ours, you know,” he says.

  I know what he means. He means, if we’d stayed together.

  “I know,” I reply. “But…” I stop, realizing I need to choose my words very carefully. “But I had never been on my own, Devon. All my life, I was my dad’s little girl, and then on your team. I never got to choose the life I led.” I take a deep breath. I’m hoping this will work. “I needed to be on my own for a while. To know whether the life I had in Atlantic City was the right one for me.”

  It’s not a complete lie. But it’s not far away from one.

  Then I see it. In his eyes. Just the tiniest flicker. He’s wondering if I mean that I was considering coming back. Right now, this is what I need him to believe. I need him to think there’s a chance, so he won’t hurt me.

  “I knew you wouldn’t approve,” I say, casting my eyes down. “But I knew you’d forgive me.”

  The look on his face is suspicious, but I can tell my words are having an effect. If I wasn’t so terrified, I’d almost find it funny, that a man who’s made a career out of reading other people and exploiting their weaknesses could be so easy to read himself.

  He moves closer to me again.

  “And now?” he asks in a low voice.

  “It’s been good for me here,” I tell him honestly. “It’s a totally different life.”

  He snorts softly. “This isn’t a life for people like you and me, Syd. This fucking dot on the map in flyover country? This isn’t going to be enough for you. You’ll never last out here.”

  I don’t say anything.

  He’s close again, pressed up against me. His erection is still there. Devon raises the hand that’s not holding the gun, and I’m afraid he’s going to choke me again, but instead he grasps my chin, raising my face to his.

  “Is there anyone else?” he asks me.

  I force myself not to think about Gavin, because I know it will show on my face.

  “No,” I say “There’s no one else.”

  He bends toward me then, and kisses me, his tongue searching insistently for mine. I force myself to let him, terrified that he’ll know I don’t want it, but he doesn’t notice.

  “Syd,” he breathes. “Come back to Atlantic City. Come back, and we’ll forget all this.”

  “I can’t,” I say, and then quickly try to soften it as I see his face begin to change. “I mean, not right away. I can’t just leave the shop. It would take time.” I tilt my head to the front of the store. “To sell everything, I mean. To close everything up. It would take months.”

  “Fuck the shop,” he grunts. “I don’t need the money. We don’t need the money. We can make this kind of cash in a month.” His hand moves to caress my cheek. I try not to flinch. “Walk away, Syd. Come back with me.”

  “I can’t,” I whisper.

  He pulls his face away an inch or so, and looks me hard in the eyes.

  “You’re fucking playing me,” he hisses.

  He rears back, the back of his hand slapping hard against my face before I can stop it. I yelp in surprise and alarm as it connects with my jaw, the pain slicing through my thoughts.

  “You’re fucking playing me!” he roars. “You fucking whore, you’ve always been playing me with that cunt of yours.”

  “No!” I cry, even though I know it’s too late, he’s done believing me. I have to try something else. “Devon, please!” I beg him. “I’ll pay you back every cent I took when I left. I promise you. Please, just let me go. Let this go. Just please, leave me alone!”

  His face is becoming a mask of rage. “You think it’s the money you owe me? The money? I fucking waited for you, like a goddamn pussy, instead of just taking what was mine as soon as you joined my team. Out of respect for your father, I should have known you were just fucking me to get what you wanted out of me, like the little whore you are!” he roars. “That was my fucking mistake — letting you think you had a goddamn choice in the matter. You don’t have a fucking choice, Syd.” He grabs my wrist, twisting it painfully behind my back, and pushes me so hard toward my office that I stumble and hit my shoulder against the other wall of the hallway. “Get in there and give me what’s fucking mine.”

  No! my mind screams. I can’t let him do this. I can’t let him… I try to run, but he catches me easily and shoves me into the office. What can I do? I try to think of any scenario that would stop this. He has a gun. He’ll have to put it down at some point… won’t he? Can I try to gouge his eyes out? Knee him in the balls? Adrenaline shoots through me — it’s too late for words now, I’m going to have to act, and hope for the best. He tells me to lie on the desk and spread my legs. Crazily, my thoughts turn to Gavin, and I have to stifle a sob. I feel sick, I can’t do this…

  Suddenly, Devon is flying backward, like he’s been pushed back by an explosion. The hand that’s holding his gun pinwheels upward. An ear-splitting bang detonates, obliterating all other sound for a second as Devon pulls the trigger and fires into the ceiling. Then he’s on the ground, the gun torn from his hands by the man who begins to pistol-whip him with it.

  33

  Brick

  I get to the Golden Cup just a couple of minutes after closing. I’m peering through the glass of the front door to the Golden Cup, about to rap on the door so Sydney will come let me in, when I see something. Movement, in the hallway.

  It’s Sydney.

  And she’s kissing someone.

  The powerful cocktail of rage, shock, and confusion that hits me almost knocks me flat on my ass. I fucking can’t believe what I’m seeing. Of all the things I could ever believe about Sydney, this is dead goddamn last. And yet it’s right in front of me.

  My first instinct is to beat down the door, but I’m so fucking angry right now I’m pretty sure I’ll end up killing one or both of them if I do. It takes everything I’ve got in me, but I force myself to turn around and walk back down the street toward my bike.

  The next few minutes are a blur. I open the throttle and speed away so fast it’s a minor miracle I don’t lay the bike down. I don’t even know where I’m going, I just know I’m trying to drive faster than the thoughts careening ar
ound in my head and it’s not working. When I run through a stoplight and almost hit a middle-aged lady on a bike, something snaps in my head and I realize I need to get off the bike before I kill someone, so I pull into the gravel parking lot of a shuttered crafts store and start pacing instead.

  Sydney.

  How could I have not seen this in her?

  How in the fuck did I ever get in so deep with her that it’s ripping me to shreds like this? How the fuck did I let myself fall in love with her, like a goddamn idiot?

  Jesus fucking Christ. I pace faster, clenching and unclenching my fists, unable to stop. I need a goddamn wall to punch. I need something to hit. To destroy.

  It’s unbelievable. It’s impossible. It’s fucking impossible.

  It’s…

  Kind of impossible.

  The seed of a doubt starts to form in my head, stopping me in my crazed tracks.

  Everything in me tells me Sydney wouldn’t do this. That’s what’s fucking with my head so much. Even after seeing it, I’m still having a hard time believing it.

  But I did see it. And I know what I saw.

  Don’t I?

  Do I?

  I don’t know why the idea suddenly clicks inside my head just then. I almost can’t make myself do it, but I have to know. With an unsteady hand, I reach back and pull my cell phone out of my pocket, walking over to a shaded area to the side so I can see the screen better. I fumble through the apps until I find the ones that connect to the security cams I installed at the Golden Cup, and click on the one that shows me the front of the shop and the hallway. I slide the bar with my finger to move the video back twenty minutes, and start fast-forwarding through.

  And roar with rage when I see the man throw Sydney against the wall, his hand around her throat.

  The minutes it takes me to get back are the longest of my fucking life. I’m sick with fear, convinced I’m too late to stop whatever he’s about to do to her. Instead of going to the front, I fly into the alley and drop my bike in the small lot next to her car, which at least is still there. I reach into the waistband of my pants for my gun in preparation to shoot the lock off the back door, but when I get there, it’s open, propped ajar with a cinder block. I don’t assess the situation like I should, I just fling open the fucking door, and they’re not in the hallway anymore, but when I round the corner to Sydney’s office she’s there on the desk and this motherfucker is pointing a revolver at her and it’s obvious what’s about to happen.