Love Is An Action (What Love Is #1)

by Bry Foster

  “Do you want me to come with?”

  “No, you have enough going on; I’ll face the beast on my own. I’m meeting him at the hotel restaurant so you can come interrupt if I’m not back in an hour.”

  Before I can respond, Liz’s phone starts ringing.

  “Hey.” He doesn’t sound angry and I’m surprised by the relief I feel at that.

  “I can’t believe I’m saying this and don't get used to hearing it, but, I’m really sorry.” Cash lets out a small laugh. I stick my thumbnail in my mouth.

  “It was bound to happen, cherie. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

  “Really? I’m fine. Just a little freaked out at seeing myself in a magazine.”

  “Get used to it.” He sighs.

  “That’s what Liz said. By the way, I lost the phone you got me. The paparazzi came out of nowhere and scared the living daylights out of me. I almost fell but a security guard caught me. My purse fell though, that must have been why the crowd started going crazy once we walked away.”

  “Yes. They definitely don’t respect personal space or privacy. They’ve been ringing me nonstop for the last 7 hours. I had to turn it off.” Cash says bitterly. I start to apologize again but he says, “Don’t worry about it, this isn’t your fault. It’s mine. I really didn’t think this plan would make it this far. I certainly wasn’t expecting them to follow ma mère to New York. No one followed ma mamée.”

  I huff. ”Let’s talk about something else. Something less weird.” I say.

  “How do you mean?”

  “I don’t know. All of this is starting to get to me. I almost had a nervous breakdown the other day.” I mumble and for the first time since I’ve known him, Cash doesn’t push.

  “Fine. There are some questions I had for you anyway.” I sigh loudly.

  “I wanted to have a conversation Cashel. Not be interviewed.”

  “Really? You would deny me this after all the trouble you have caused me today?” I snort.

  “Me? This was your plan. Don’t be mad at me that it backfired.”

  “I’m not upset that it backfired. I’m upset that when it did the photo they used of me made my hair look ridiculous.” He says in a sarcastic tone that has me bursting at the seams with laughter. He chuckles on the other end of the line and the deep timbre of it lights up my insides. I squeeze my legs together, remembering the last time we were together. Even more surprising is the fact that I miss him.

  “I miss you too, cherie.” I said that out loud?

  “Moment of weakness.”

  “You’ve had a lot of those as of late, yes?” I start to argue but, he talks over me. “My first question, what do you want to study?”

  “What?” I wasn’t expecting that.

  “What is it you want to study? You needed the money for help with your father but also for school. What are you trying to study?”

  “I’ve always wanted to go into the culinary arts. I don’t know why. I just know that some of my best memories from my early childhood are filled with food and breaking bread with family. My grandparents and my cousins on my dad’s side used to have big dinners every Sunday.” I twist my lips to the side. “I think my mom’s family used to do that too. I must’ve been really young when I was there though, because I don’t remember any specific details. Just a lot of tall people and lots of pasta. Italian’s love their pasta.”

  “Then food?”

  “No.”

  “Non? Why would you not study food if that is what you desire?”

  “A field in the culinary arts isn’t very practical. I want to study something that I know will provide a stable life for me after high school. Especially if I have to support myself and my father.”

  “Why would you do that?”

  “Because he’s family.”

  “Oui, and he is also an adult.” I shake my head getting irritated with him. It’s far too easy for me to fall into that emotion when speaking with Cash. My brain can’t be in medium for too long. I’m either upset with him or I want to jump him. No in between. “I’ve seen your pieces from art class as well. I’m sure any art institute or culinary school would love to have you.”

  As much as his praise warms me, it also frustrates me that he is adding oxygen to embers of hope already burning inside me. Neither art nor culinary arts will lend me suitable stability.

  “You don’t understand. Your family is…” I trail off. He grunts in frustration. I can imagine him clenching his jaw.

  “You believe because we have money that we don’t have any problems. That is a shallow thought.” Did I just get reprimanded by Cash?

  “Well excuse me but it’s hard to think what kind of problems you could have suffered through. Did you crash your Mercedes and your parents refused to get you another one?”

  “Again, shallow. I would expect more—“

  “—More what? Finish your thought.” I say, my anger taking over.

  “You are twisting this. I didn’t want to fight. Would it wound you to have a simple conversation with me.” It takes a while but I reign in my inner bitch. I can do this. I can be civil with Cash.

  “I was thinking something in health care, which would give me time to decide since pretty much all the prerequisites are the same.” He’s quiet for a moment. “What? You don’t think I’m smart enough or something?”

  “Despite my concern over your bedside manner…I just never imagined that would be of interest to you. You are such a free spirit —when your nose isn’t in school texts of course.”

  “My bedside manner would be perfectly fine…I don’t know…” The line is quiet for a few moments. I hear Cash shift on the other end.

  “For someone so young, you don’t properly enjoy life.”

  “Oh really? How do you figure?”

  “You are eighteen, Beauté. You have your whole life ahead of you to worry about ‘stability’ and such. This should be the time in your life where you can just enjoy being yourself and making silly mistakes.”

  “Like marrying a friend of mine to besmirch his family.” We both chuckle a little at that.

  “Precisely. You deserve the world for the maturity that you show at so young, but you will never get this time back. I understand that you love your father, and I even admire the focus you show. I’m sure ma mère only wishes that I had that type of focus. But…I will do my best to bring out the little wild one in you that I know is dying to get out.” He says and my breath catches. I don’t know if that was sexual or not…I’m praying it was.

  “Well what about you? What do you want to study?”

  “I’ve not decided. I have always had an interest in sports. I was in football for quite a bit at home and wanted to get scouted. When I had to come to the States, that dream faded. Nevertheless, maybe I will become some kind of personal trainer. The complete opposite of the business school ma mère wants me to attend.”

  I think on that. It must be nice to have the courage to chase a dream you want. I can’t imagine that I can take his advice. Health and medicine may not be my passion, but I need a career that can help me provide for my father whether that’s paying for rehab or just being able to provide a place for us in a better neighborhood. With a room for each of us. A house with furniture that isn’t used would be nice too.

  The moment that Cash is right about a life decision I make, I may have to rethink everything I’ve believed up to that point.

  “I hear you have more plans today.”

  “I do?” I ask.

  “Yes. And then ma mère and Clara will head back in the direction they came.”

  I want to shout in relief. “Oh? They aren’t coming to visit?”

  “You don’t have to pretend to be upset; I know they can be less than friendly. Anyway, I would not be all that happy to see them either.” Cash chuckles again but there is a very bitter edge to his words. Liz walks back into the room gesturing for me to come out into the hall. I signal that I will be there in a minute.

&n
bsp; “Thank goodness, because my acting skills suck.”

  “That was apparent.”

  “Tell me about your brother, you never talk about him…” He inhales sharply.

  “The relationship between Theodore and I is…” He searches for the right word. “Complicated.”

  “You’re preaching to the choir about complicated relationships.” I say successfully lightening the conversation.

  “Yes, well. Our relationship is strained more because of a woman and less because of family disease.” I stay quiet, hoping he will continue. And he does. “My brother’s wife tried to come on to me just before they were married.” My jaw drops and takes my heart with it.

  “Clara? You slept with Clara?”

  “Non, of course not. Contrary to your belief that I will sleep with anything that moves, I would never do that to my brother. It appeared to be worse than it was. I refused her of course, and she was upset that I turned her down. Unquestionably after all of the rumors she’d heard about me, she assumed I would go along with it. She didn’t want to marry me. After all, I likely won’t inherit much of either family business. But, she wanted to see what all of the gossip was about I suppose.” Sometimes Cash talks in a way more proper tone than American teenagers do, it has always been a pretty charming thing about him that makes him even more different. The accent doesn’t hurt either.

  “Wow, what a slut. No wonder she hates me.”

  “My brother found out and because of my reputation and some twisted version of the story from his then fiancé, he thinks that I tried to come on to her and she turned me down because she was so in love with him. We had a huge fight in front of a lot of important people and embarrassed ma papa. I have always regretted that moment. I have wondered if he resented me for it.”

  Such sadness creeps in to his voice that I wish I could go back and heal whatever illness his father had so that he could still be here. It’s obvious whenever Cash brings up his late father that they were very close. “When ma mémée and ma mère decided to buckle down on me they included that in their speech. Blah blah blah, black sheep. Blah blah blah, you need to grow up. Blah blah blah, you have brought shame to our family. Blah blah blah, no trust fund until you make some changes.”

  “Like you wouldn’t believe. What about you? I don’t think you have ever really talked about your family before, besides the fact that your mom isn’t around.”

  I wince but stay quiet.

  “We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” He whispers but I shake my head like he can see me.

  “Uhm, it’s ok. Yeah, my mom left my dad and me when I was little, around six. I haven’t seen her since.”

  “Is, is she ok?” He asks tentatively. I shrug.

  “I don’t know. If she’s not, that would explain her absence. If she is, that makes her a crap parent.” I say softly. My feelings about my mom’s absence are something only Liz knows about. “I don't know much about her or why she left. When I used to ask my father about her, he couldn’t say much without needing to go out and get a drink. Then once he was all glassy eyed he would tell me stories about when they met. They were high school sweethearts but, had to sneak around because my mother’s parents were strict. They weren't exactly happy when she she ended up pregnant. Especially when they met my father. For awhile after that my mom would bring me around them but, my father wasn’t allowed to come.”

  “Why not?”

  “I don’t know…other than that, I know that I apparently look a lot like her. She had dark wavy hair. Not nearly as kinky as mine but still curly. Her eyes were hazel so I guess mine are from my dad. She’s Italian. I remember that she had a lot of family.”

  “What about the rest of your family?”

  I shake my head sadly. “It’s just me and my dad. I used to see my grandparents on my dad’s side but…we lost touch too.” It goes quiet. “Sometimes I wonder if they think about me. If they’re alive. If they miss me too. I know their names. But, I’m afraid that if I actually find them. If I reach out and see that they are still alive and well. How will I feel if I find out that all is well for them and they never tried to find where my father and I disappeared to or if we are still okay? My grandparents are the only other family I know and as long as I don’t look for them, I can pretend that they are looking for me. If I start the process to look for them, reality will set in and I will know the truth one way or another. I don’t think I’m ready for that.” I realize that I’m whispering and that small, warm tears are rolling down my cheeks and wetting my shirt. I wipe them away and lie down on the bed.

  “Sorry.” I sniffle.

  “Don’t ever apologize for being vulnerable. Tu es un chef-d’oeuvre…you are a masterpiece.”

  “I’m not understanding…” I trail off as I stare at the room full of silver clothing racks. Walking into Corisande’s room, I almost thought we had mistakenly walked into the hotel gift shop.

  “Did Leo not speak with you?” Corisande asks.

  “He said that there was a chance some designers would send me samples. Though I think his idea of samples and mine are two completely different things.” I mutter.

  “This is so awesome. I am so jealous.” Liz shrieks before making a beeline for the closest racks of clothing and swiping through them. I guess clothes can easily make her feel better about lunch with her father. From what she told me when she came back to the room, it went about as well as I’d assumed.

  “Gionnna hasn’t even sent me these things yet.” Clara sounds disgruntled.

  “Yes, well, we knew this would happen. I just can’t imagine that you will be able to fit all of these things on the plane.” Lena adds in.

  “How the hell did they get my measurements?” I query.

  “Swear jar!” Liz yells from whatever corner of the room she’s sunken into.

  “Dammit.”

  “That’s two.”

  “Swear jar?” Corisande interrupts.

  “It’s how my mom got Koko to stop cursing so much. Every time she swears she’s supposed to put money in the jar.”

  “You’re that much of a sailor?” Clara sneers.

  “Thank goodness someone took the initiative to try to break such a habit. No daughter in law of mine will have such a filthy mouth.”

  “Aren’t you from the country known for sex? I think your mouth may be worse.” At that thought, Liz knocks over an entire rack that she was pillaging through and it loudly crashes into an empty couch before falling on top of shoe boxes. Every one stares at me.

  “At least that thought doesn’t cost me any money.”

  After the awkwardness of my statement, there is a frenzy of security being assigned tasks so we can work on having the samples mailed to me. Well, the ones that won’t fit in the luggage. I’m sure both Liz and Clara skimmed some stuff off of the top and I feel ridiculously uncomfortable with the amount of designer wear that has been dumped in my lap.

  When I text Cash about it later on, he tells me that I should be happy about getting those things for free because he had planned to buy them for me.

  CHAPTER TEN

  “We have to do what with who?”

  “You have to go shopping with Clara. She wants to see more of New York…” Corisande trails off and I stare at her with my mouth hanging open unattractively. She has lost her mind if she thinks that I am going anywhere with Clara Castille, and willingly? This is not happening. I start shaking my head and she exhales.

  “This is not negotiable, Khloe. I do not think I have ever encountered someone who so adamantly refuses my requests.” Corisande appears to be genuinely perplexed. She wags her finger as she squints her eyes. “You will need that back bone, however now is not the time.”

  “I’m sure Clara and I will kill each other if we spend any more time together. Seriously. I wouldn’t be upset if I didn’t see her ever again.”

  “Koko, maybe we should just get this over with.”

  “Why are you never on my side?” I tu
rn an arched eyebrow to Liz, she rolls her eyes.

  “I’m always on your side. That’s why I’m telling you I think this is for the best. The sooner, you get this over with, the sooner you can get away from Clara.” I look between her and Corisande. “Plus…I want to see more of New York too.”

  “You know what? Fine. But, if all three of us don’t make it back, you will have to explain to your oldest grandson why he needs to find a new wife.”

  “Pity.” She waves us off dismissively. “Lena and I need to start the seating chart. Also,” She interrupts Liz and me as we start to make for the door. “We will need to discuss your father soon.” I cringe but nod, happy that she let me go this long without bringing up that awkwardness.

  Clara, Liz, and I decide as a group to leave to shop when the sun starts to go down. It’s spring on the east coast so it doesn’t take long for that to happen, which is a little after 4 o’clock.

  There is a cool night breeze that nips at my exposed nose and dries out my eyes. The sky is almost completely dark when we leave the hotel—well, as dark as it gets up here— and climb into one of the Escalades. Liz, Clara and I hit up three stores before I start to suggest we go back to the hotel. So far we haven’t been spotted and none of the store owners seemed to recognize us. Which surprises me since we are still surrounded by five security guards. Clara is capable of forgetting that they are there, but I feel totally freaked out that such big burly men are following us into all of these stores, keeping eyes on us at all times. It’s so cold that my nose is starting to turn red and I pull my jacket around me more closely.

  “I think I have enough clothing to last the next two years without stepping foot into another shopping center. My feet hurt, I want to shower, and I need to mentally prepare for the next flight.” I tell Clara as we stand out on the sidewalk. I look around eerily. I feel like we’re being watched.

  “One more store.” She insists again. I grind my teeth.

  “Fine. You go into another store; Liz and I are going back to the hotel.” I grab Liz’s arm and Clara grabs her other one.