Love Is An Action (What Love Is #1)

by Bry Foster

  One of his hands grips the side of my neck and I suck in a deep breath, my breasts creating friction between our bodies. They feel so tender I want to free them. His hand slowly begins to make its way down the length of my body.

  “You are curious to me.” He whispers and I want to respond. Instead, I swallow harshly against my dry throat. “Sometimes I wonder if you are attracted to me at all. But to see you jealous, Beauté…” He presses himself further against me.

  I don’t think there is a person alive more worthy of my jealousy.

  My heart thumps at a rate that is sure to put me in a hospital and I swallow harshly as I try to control my emotions.

  I am in a cage surrounded by Cash. I inhale the pleasant smell of him feeling like a bee drawn to honey. My chest heaves changing the cadence of my breathing. He brings a hand to my hair. Strong hands work their way through the unruly strands as he anchors me the way he wants.

  “Beauté.” He whispers, his mouth only centimeters away from mine. His breath washes over my lips and I inhale the smell of him. I think my knees may give out on me. I manage to shake my head once.

  Suddenly Cash lifts me and I squeal and wrap my legs around him. He sits on a chair near his desk with me straddling him. A part of me is a little flustered, but for the most part I still want more.

  “Why are we here when there is a bed in the room?” I whisper to him.

  “Because if we go anywhere near that bed, I may not be able to keep my promise.” He whispers. Knowing Cash actually wants me that way and respects me enough not to push, makes my need for him grow a bit more. I give in and kiss him. It almost hurts that a kiss this perfect is possible and is brought on by someone I never imagined I’d have.

  I push my hands into his hair as he grips my hips firmly keeping me in place. He groans and tears his mouth away from mine.

  “If you keep rocking against me like that mon coeur, this may go further than you want.” His accent is thicker when he’s turned on. I like that.

  “What if I want it to go further?” I whisper to him. Our lips are so close that when we speak they brush each other. His sage eyes drag me into their depth.

  “Are you sure?” I nod, without hesitation.

  “Not too much further. Second base at least.” I mumble.

  “Mon petit chef-d’oeuvre, rock away.” His mouth is back on mine and this time instead of stopping my hips he uses his hands to guide them. The pressure is much better, the rhythm much less jerky than mine and I sigh loudly. Embarrassingly loud, but I can’t think of any of that right now.

  Cash groans lowly in his chest as I continue to rock against him. One of his hands leaves my hips and slips under my shirt. His rough hand glides against the smooth planes of my stomach before delicately trailing the underwire of my bra. I nod to him and he slips his hand under the cup. I sigh even louder as he touches me and rock harder making both of us groan. Something in my belly stirs and I start to feel overwhelmed. Not by him, but by the frenzy my body is now in.

  Cash stands and firmly plants me on the vanity before removing his hand from my shirt.

  “Cash.” It’s an agonized voice I don’t recognize caused by the ache I’m experiencing. I need more…something.

  “I know,” he tells me. His hand travels the length of my legs, pushing my dress up as he goes, before sliding my underwear to the side. We groan together as he touches me and his mouth slams down on mine. I welcome it. Opening my mouth when he drags his tongue across my lip. The fire in my belly is burning hotter than before and tentatively, I start rocking against Cash’s hand.

  “Cash.” I sigh again around his lips and then lights dance before my eyes as my body seizes up. From my toes to my scalp my nerve endings fry under the expertise that is Cash’s hand and I experience the greatest pleasure to date. When normal sight returns I notice Cash has removed his hand and he stares down at me. Green eyes blazing and intense.

  “Tu es la perfection. That is the most beautiful thing I’ve seen all day.” My face heats and he adjusts my dress. I look down.

  “I could say the same about you but, we both know I’m much hotter than you.” I joke. “What about you?”

  “Beauté, the sooner you realize that I am nuts about you, the sooner you come to terms that your happiness is mine.” I can’t believe Cash and I just did that. But, I’m not ashamed. I didn’t feel pressured, and I feel amazing. Cash makes me feel amazing.

  After Cash makes sure I’m okay and not freaking out about what happened, we lounge on the bed and talk about the interview.

  “I want you to come to France with me for break.” He says. My happy cloud drops from the sky like a diving hawk. I am now saddled to the ground like fog.

  “What?” I am obviously aware that I will have to go to France since that is where the wedding will be held however, I hadn’t imagined that it would be necessary to go before June. I thought I had at least until the day of graduation before he tried to drag me into another country.

  “I want you to come to France. Everyone will be leaving the state for break anyway.”

  “Can’t France wait until, you know, the wedding?”

  “It could. At the same time, it is my home country, and I would like to share it with you. If nothing else I would love to walk you around the streets of Paris and show you where I grew up. Where I went to school. Introduce you to some of my friends. And the food…”

  The longer we string this along, the more concrete this relationship is starting to feel. A part of me wonders if I should run for the hills before he does. I’m not really used to anyone sticking around or being dependable.

  “Uhm…” Is all I can get out as I think of all of the reasons this won’t work. Just when those reasons are about to be voiced, Cash starts kissing up my throat.

  “Don’t you want to see where I grew up?” He chuckles on an exhale. “I honestly cannot believe that I am having to try this hard to convince you to go to Paris with me.” He shakes his head. “Actually, I can. It’s this hard headed nature that attracted me to you in the first place.”

  Even I have to crack a smile at this revelation. “Yeah, well…no backsies” I taunt playfully.

  He pulls away from my neck so I can see his face. It is less playful, and more serious. My smile drops as well.

  “I want you to come to my father’s grave with me.” My heart drops.

  “What?”

  “My father, the anniversary of his death is approaching and I would like to go visit him. I want you to come as well.”

  I feel like I can’t breathe. So many emotions coast through me at once that I can’t name them. Why would he want me to come?

  “You don’t have to. I just…I feel like, you are one of the closest… I just really want to be as open as possible with you.”

  It’s really not fair to have him request such a thing of me while I stare into his sage eyes full of hope and admiration. From what Cash has told me about his father, I know that this is absolutely a big deal. What I don’t know, is if I can handle the pressure of it all. Plus, what happens if we don’t work out. What comes after the period of time we are supposed to stay married? What if we get a divorce, can’t remain friends, and lose the relationship we have built? After such a short time of expressing myself the way that I want to Cash, I can’t imagine my life without him in it.

  I exhale as he watches me. Patiently waiting for my answer or just a response in general. I realize, after everything Cash has seen of my family life, I would love to reciprocate. To get a better picture of what made Cash who he is. I know from previous conversations that he has never really had a girlfriend before and he is new to being open with someone else.

  “Okay.” I whisper. Cash’s face lights up and he grins so hard it must strain the muscles of his cheeks. I can’t help but smile in return. In response, Cash pushes his lips forcefully on to mine.

  “And to think, I thought you weren’t attracted to me.” I whisper. His eyes pin me. They are so dark they almo
st look brown. His lips are raw and his cheeks are flushed.

  “Now you can feel how untrue that statement is.” He jokes. I’ve never felt anything like it. And I hope to feel this over and over again with him.

  “Don’t start digging around in that head too much.” He mumbles to me. He knows that I have the tendency to overanalyze something until it is hurting my head. It’s a wonder I didn’t think this wedding thing through more.

  After a brief hesitation, I slip my arms around his waist as he holds me. I take a deep breath, “I am really trying not to.” He pulls back so that I can look up at him. His eyes are a little lighter now that he is not in such a state of arousal and I find myself tracing the frame of his face with my eyes, like I often do.

  “Though I would love to keep you up here for my own pleasure and maybe yours—” I hit him and he laughs. “I think I should get you to Liz’s before they start freaking out about where you are.” I frown at him.

  “Cashel Castille, are you making a responsible decision?”

  “I know, I know. If it were up to me I would make you stay here but I don’t think I would get much done if you were sleeping in a room here and I wouldn’t be able to stay in mine if you lived here. The best decision I ever made was picking you but sometimes it plays with my libido.” Hearing him say that stirs up some concerns. For whatever reason, I feel the need to speak on those worries now.

  “For the past few months, I have been thinking that maybe you weren’t as attracted to me as you were to the other girls you’ve been with.” My voice sounds vulnerable in a way that I will be sure to despise when I play this experience back in my head later on. Cash is so quiet that I have to look up at him. He has a grimace marring his alluring face.

  “You may think that I wanted you simply out of necessity but, that couldn’t be further from the truth.” Cash starts. I feel myself move closer to him on instinct alone. “In all actuality,” He looks away and pushes a hand through his hair, “I thought that you wouldn’t even date me without the promise of something in it for you.” I drop my arms from around him.

  “What? Why would you think that?”

  Deep sigh. “I don’t know, I just never got the vibe from you that you liked me. At all. Let alone that you were attracted to me.”

  “Really? Even if I wasn’t, which I can admit that I have always been, why would you want to be with someone that you thought would only want to be with you for your money?” I query.

  He shakes his head. “It’s not that. I know that you aren't what all these magazines are saying about you. Though you may not want the money, I know that you need it. I never knew how deep your problems with your dad were, but I knew based on your status at school and the conversations I overheard between you and Liz that you would be the kind of person to take me up on my offer to help your family. Not just yourself.” I kind of understand what he is saying but it makes me feel a little odd. Especially after how exposed we just were to each other.

  Cash walks me to the door when we get to Liz’s house and leaves a soft yet fervent kiss on my lips before driving off. Is Cash is feeling all of the things that I am feeling for him? Does his heart grow heavy when I’m not in his presence? Unlike me, I’m sure he doesn’t practice signing my name with his last name but I can’t help but feel every second we continue this sham of an engagement while we continue to be in a real relationship, the flames we may fall into burn hotter and hotter.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  Cash is waiting for me by the door and I smile while he leans down to peck me on the mouth. He grabs one of my hands and leads me to the locker where I shove my sketchbook in and lock it behind me.

  “I thought we should try something a little different today.” Cash tells me as he guides me away from my locker, leading me to his. I scrunch my eyebrows as I watch him, curious as to what he has planned. When we reach his locker he lets go of my hand to spin the dial and then pops his locker open. He pulls out a few cooler lunch bags and exchanges them for his backpack in the locker.

  “What’s in there?”

  “Lunch.” His smile is blinding. My chest lightens at the thoughtfulness of this.

  “Really? That’s pretty freakin’ adorable.” I counter and we chuckle at my phrasing. I’m still not yet the lady Corisande is trying to mold me into. And I think my fiancé likes that.

  “Come on; let’s find a spot to eat.” As the Louisiana sun is thinly veiled by a few clouds, we decide the weather is not too hot to endure. We leisurely walk out to the courtyard and sit on an unoccupied bench. He sets the coolers between us.

  “I had Jaque bring this during fourth period so it may not be as hot as it should be.” Cash tells me, his cheeks warm and the confidence that is usually radiating from him is only seeping out in minuscule amounts now. I find it endearing that he is a bit nervous though. It only serves him right considering all of the nerves he puts me through.

  He pulls out a few plastic bowls as he serves me. Then utensils and finally a few bottled iced teas. I crack open my bowl and I find hot little sandwiches. They smell really good and the melted cheese sticks to the sides of the bowl.

  “Mhm, what’s this?” I ask as I pick one up. It’s still fairly warm and I take a bite. It’s like heaven in my mouth.

  “One of Jaques recipes. Not sure what all he puts on it or what he does to the meats but, they are always really good. There are some homemade banana bread slices and a few strawberries in the other cooler.” Cash informs me. I give him the thumbs up as I finish a sandwich in pretty much one bite.

  “I guess you like it?” He asks and I nod as I continue to stuff my face. The courtyard is mostly quiet. Some students walk past us and stare but don’t say anything and don’t interrupt. When I have had my fill of small sandwiches, I reach for the next cooler for dessert.

  “So what should I expect from your family next week?” I ask before taking a bite of a juicy red strawberry. Cash wipes his mouth and then responds.

  “You should expect tense, awkward encounters with everyone. Don’t worry; they won’t just be because of you. Like I said before, I am not a favorite in my family. Theo has always been poised to be a more substantial CEO or political figure than myself. Which is fine, I never really wanted to go into the family business anyway. I guess I just was not expecting to be pushed aside so much throughout our childhood.” He pauses, taking a bite of his food. I twist the top on my iced tea and take a long drag of the cool, refreshing beverage. “I always knew that I was different. Theo enjoyed sitting in meetings with my parents, I was disruptive and often passed off to a nanny or something while my mom bounced a quiet Theo on her leg.” His eyes are far away as he reminisces.

  “I always preferred being outside. I could never really concentrate in school. Sitting at a desk all day long was hard for me. I remember one time my mère took me to a physician hoping I could get something that would ‘even me out’ she’d called it. Like I was too much to deal with for her.” He shrugs and laughs bitterly under his breath.

  “What about your dad?” I ask in a small voice. His lips rise at the mention of his father.

  “My papa was great. In fact, he is the one that got me in to bikes. He told me he used to have a motor cycle before he and my mère got together. She made him get rid of it; claiming that he could be injured too easily. I guess she didn’t realize that half of Paris was riding around on mopeds and scooters. They are just as common as cars. Anyway, motor bikes were our thing. We could work on them together. We could ride them together. I always thought that had it been up to him, he would have much rather spent more of his life hissing through the wind on a bike than all of the stuffy corporate stuff. Noa, my best friend, and I decided that we wanted to start our own company. We started shopping around ideas and designs for a luxury line of bikes. That’s what we were doing before I moved, anyway.” I gather that he was not very close to his mother, and though I’m not close to my mother for different reasons, I can understand the hole, the resentment that c
an build towards a parent. It makes me feel like we have more in common than I originally thought.

  “Did you spend a lot of time with Noa before you left?” He finishes chewing.

  “Definitely. At one point it probably seemed like I spent more time with his family than my own. Especially after my papa passed away and my mère started shopping around for suitable husbands. She was dating less than a year after my papa passed and married not soon after.” He clenches his jaw, revealing the hostility he still feels towards the situation.

  “At least you had a good friend to be by your side. I feel like Liz is that shoulder for me to lean on. I don’t know where I would be without her.” We both sit in a companionable silence for a little while. Not long after the bell rings signaling that it is time to get to next period. Cash and I pack up our little lunch and then head inside.

  “It is not all bad though, I still want you to see everywhere I grew up.”

  “Will I have to live in Paris once we get married?” I ask him. He frowns.

  “We don’t have to. We will have to be together but, we can be together here, or in Paris, or in England…”

  “England?” I ask as we reach his locker. He shoves the mostly empty carriers in his locker and grabs his backpack slinging it over his shoulder.

  “Anywhere you want to go.” He tells me. It reminds me of every fairy tale I have ever read. As long as I have you…

  Today Liz, Jas, Cash and I are headed off to Paris. I didn’t sleep a wink last night and it has nothing to do with my being home alone, yet again. I have not seen or heard from my father in so long that I’m starting to worry.

  Still, it is so surreal to just be happy. Other than my father’s issues, I can’t imagine that life could get any better than this. It’s as if all of the stars have aligned in my favor and decided that I have suffered enough in my short, 18 years on this planet. Great, clearly I have spent way too much time around Jasmine. I roll my eyes as I climb to my feet out of bed. I shower and throw on some joggers and one of Cash’s shirts before I begin to pack for my trip.