by Bry Foster
On top of sight-seeing, Corisande had a few caterers bring samples of foods that may be served at the wedding, as well as two dress fittings while I’m in Paris. My nights are filled experimenting with Cash. He seems to delight that I have become more and more brazen in our exploits during our time here. It’s been a very exciting time. Tomorrow we head back to the States and I am disappointed yet relieved, to go home. I have concerns about my father and how he’s doing. It is just before nightfall and Cash is asking me to come somewhere with him. I have been asking him what I should wear but he just keeps saying it doesn’t matter.
Since it has been raining on and off all day, I decide on a knitted, hoodie-sweater, jeans and ankle boots, all of which are designer sample pieces I was gifted. When I come out of Cash’s bathroom I see that he is sitting on the edge of the couch at the end of his bed.
He smiles when he looks up at me. But, it isn’t his normal, confident smile. He looks worried. “Ready?”
“I wish I could answer that honestly, but since I don’t know where we are going…” I trail off. He exhales in mock exhaustion.
“You try to do something nice for a girl…” He shakes his head. I walk towards him, a goofy smile on my face. I am far too deep, too head over heels for this guy. I can no longer deny the obvious.
I am in love with Cashel Castile.
If I thought that I was in love with him before, seeing him in his element: motor racing with his best friend, joking around, and the sweet, romantic gestures that he has made for me since we’ve been here. There is nothing about Cash that I am not in love with. Well, maybe his family. But, none of us can control that part of our lives.
“Let’s get out of here before it starts pouring rain and ruins the surprise.” He states, sticking his hand out for me to grab. I intertwine my fingers with his and walk slightly behind him as he guides us out of the door and down the stairs.
“Where is Liz? She isn’t going?”
“Noa picked her up to hang out at his house.”
My eyebrows raise. “With Wyatt?”
“No, he has two sisters that I am sure can entertain Liz until we are finished.”
“Entertain? Finished? This conversation is really warranting more questions than answers.” I mutter as we exit, hanging for a blacked out van. Cash opens the back door for me and we climb in. I instantly know that whatever we are doing won’t be private because there are three body guards. That can’t be much protection from the rabid papz I have seen during our time here. Still, I smile to the men as I wipe small beads of salty rain water from my face as they are speaking to me.
The car ride is full of spotty conversation about this and that. I go from talking to Cash to watching the drizzle of rain run down the car windows. Paris is breath taking no matter what kind of weather it’s having.
Eventually, we stop and I have no further clues as to where we are. I can see a small bridge with lots of little trinkets on it. My eyebrows pinch in confusion. The driver opens the door and the body guard, Leonard, climbs out before Cash and I do, the others follow behind us.
The bridge is built almost like the boardwalks I remember from home in California. The floor is full of wooden boards that creak a little when we step onto them. The bridges entrance is framed with lovely green trees. Running underneath the bridge is an alluring lake that ripples with the tiny beads of rain water that fall into it. The place is magical. I look at the side of the bridge and I frown again.
“Why are there a bunch of locks here?” I ask as a little commotion starts to come from behind us. I turn to notice that no one else is on the bridge because there are body guards keeping it blocked off. What the heck is going on?
Cash grabs my hand as he slowly walks me down the bridge. “This is Lover’s Bridge. People from all over the world come here with their loved ones and place locks on the fence here. It is supposed to be a symbol of love and commitment. You know…as long as the bridge stands, so will our love, kind of thing. I thought, maybe you would want to do that too.” He shrugs as if this is not the most romantic thing that will probably ever happen in my life. I squeeze his fingers and squeal, before throwing my arms around him. The sun peaks through the clouds over the horizon casting a dazzling reflection of itself and the sky in the water. Cameras flash as I wrap myself around Cash. He laughs in my ear.
“I guess you like it?”
I pull back from him enough to look into his eyes. “I love it.” I whisper. So close to saying I love you that I have to bite my lip.
“We haven’t even gotten to the best part.” He mumbles. I lean in and kiss him because I can’t help myself and he smiles into the kiss. “If I had known you were this easily pleased I would have tried this when I met you a year ago.” I roll my eyes as he sets me down.
“So where is our lock?” I ask him. A smirk appears on his face.
“That’s the thing. It’s already here. You have to find it.” My jaw drops open.
“There are hundreds of locks here Cash!”
“Khloe! Cashel!” I turn around to see people have gathered on either side of the bridge. One of the bystanders called us and a bright flash catches me in the eyes when I turn in the direction of the voice.
“Do they need to use the bridge?”
“Not likely. But, the faster you find the lock, the sooner we get out of here.”
“Can I at least have a clue?” He sighs as if I’m killing him.
“It’s the one with the big red bow on it.” I frown and look down the bridge. Sure enough, close to the middle there is a big red ribbon hanging off of the fence. I walk over to it and see that there is a bow over the lock. Carefully, I undo the bow and then stare dumbfounded at the silver lock. Engraved into it:
Khloe
&
Cash
But that is not what makes my jaw drop. Hooked into the loop of the lock is a huge heart shaped pink ring. Crouched down staring at it, rain falls into around my face. I look up at Cash and understand why he was nervous before.
“Do you like it?”
“Do I like it?” I ask as if testing the words on my tongue. I am flabbergasted. Shocked. Overwhelmed with so many emotions. There is so much that I want to say but, I can’t find the words.
He produces a key for me and I take it, shakily. I unlock the lock and slip the ring out of it. I am so nervous that I will drop it through a crack of the bridge floor before I could get it on my finger that I hand it to Cash before standing next to him.
He takes the ring from me and grabs my hand then guides me over to the bridge. We rest our arms on the side and I look over into the horizon before my eyes find him again. “There is so much that I’ve been wanting to say to you. That I’ve been wanting to do for you.” He says as he looks at me. I can’t get my jaw to close, watching him twirl the ring back and forth between nervous fingers.
The rain has slowed and the clouds have given way to the sun. It’s almost completely over the horizon now and camera flashes flicker in my peripheral vision.
“I have never met someone so…perfect for me. I thought that my image didn’t bother me. I thought that I didn’t need a girl to change me nor did I want to be changed. But you, Khloe Hudson. You are the rarest of flowers. I’ve never known someone so strong, so confident, and so willing to say what’s on their mind. Everything about you intrigues me and delights me. You captivate me. You Khloe, only you, make me feverish with a love that I never thought I would experience. Hopefully, you will never know the anguish I felt watching you every day since I got to Warren. Seeing you, and wanting you to be mine. Here we refer to that as la doubler exquise.” At my look of confusion he continues, “It’s…the anguish of desiring someone or something that you can never have. Or at least, I thought I would never have you. Now that I do I’m not letting you go, Khloe. I want to show you a fraction of what you mean to me. I thought a promise ring would be a start.”
I am too stunned to do anything but nod as Cash slips the heart shaped pink diamond
onto my finger. It’s so heavy. I think the weight of it is the only thing keeping me rooted to this bridge, in this place in time. Cheers erupt from behind us and a boat goes under the bridge, more cameras flash from it. Cash tugs me closer and envelopes me in a hug before kissing me repeatedly on the lips.
"This is so beautiful, but…what if we break up?”
Cash puts a hand to his chest in mock hurt. "You wound me with your doubt, mon trésor. Are you trying to escape me already?”
I laugh heartily. "I really would never have suspected that you could be this romantic." I say as I quickly brush a stray tear from my eye. I don’t know why I am crying. What is clear though, is the fact that keeping three small words from passing over my lips is becoming increasingly more difficult.
Cash makes me feel accepted in a way that I never imagined I could be. He makes me happier than I ever thought could be possible. Love like this belongs in movies and on TV screens, not in the life of a girl who literally comes from nothing. I am the Cinderella that I always dreamed I would be. And it is because Cash has given my heart the seeds to sow happiness and that happiness bloomed into something so beautiful, that I know it will take more than what we have already been through for me to ever think of separating from him. It's not possible for me to love anyone else as much as I love the man standing next to me now.
“Are you sure?” Cash whispers to me in the quiet of the night. The balcony curtains are open enough to let the light of the moon trickle in making the room look even bigger, more open. But still my breath comes in pants as my worked up body catches up with my mind. I nod.
“I’m sure,” I whisper. He doesn’t look sure. “I mean it… before, I worried that once we got to this point, you would be disappointed or I wouldn’t be able to hold your attention.” I confess.
“Caring about someone this much, is so foreign. I wish you could see yourself the way that I do. I love so much about you, every single thing about you. The red of your lips. Every inch of your skin is like a perfect brush stroke on a painting no man could create. The honey flecks in your eyes like little pieces of caramel in a sea of chocolate. The curves of your body...” His fingers gently trace my body. “And, of course, the more carnal things. The way you smell, the way you taste…When I tell you I love you, it’s because I mean it, unconditionally. When I take you on lunches, or hold you as you cry, or help you with your father, it’s because love is a verb to me, Khloe. It is all actions and reactions. It’s being there for someone. You always tell me actions speak louder than words. What do my actions tell you?”
It’s like I am in the eye of a storm. So many emotions are pulling at the strings of my heart like a marionette. My heart’s cadence is chaotic. This kind of love shouldn’t be legal. I try to answer Cash’s question. I think back to all of the things he’s shown me. Even when I thought he was being a jerk, teasing me and touching me, he was always a friend. When I was in a bad mood about my father or feeling tormented by other internal demons Cash was always there, no matter how much I cursed him to hell for not giving me space to breathe. I don’t think he will ever know how much that meant to me that even without knowing it, he was answering the calls of my heart and not deterred by my words. My mouth may have been telling him to go but my heart…is always begging someone to stay. Cash continues without waiting for an answer.
“I know that you think you know what love is. But you often second guess your instincts. Sometimes you have to turn that brilliant brain off and feel, Beauté.” My eyes are watering and leaking as my heart pounds so hard in my chest I swear it is bruised.
“Make love to me, Cashel.” I whisper thickly. I hope that the words I can’t make my mouth say can be expressed with the only thing that can show Cash how much I really do trust and love him. Because of this step, this step that I have been avoiding. This piece of me that I have never wanted to give to someone else, suddenly doesn’t feel like it belongs to me. Everything I have, everything I am, aches for Cash. To be treasured and reassured by him. To be caressed and loved by him.
I ask him to make love to me because I want to revel in that ultimate feeling of intimacy and vulnerability. Although I don’t think I will ever feel as vulnerable to Cash as I am when we are emotionally bared to each other, I want to give this to him, for me. So that I can finally jump, take a risk and put myself out there, because I know that Cash will never let me fall.
When his questioning eyes meet mine, I know he sees a shyness I try never to express. Here, right now, I don’t want to hide anything from him.
“I want this.” I whisper to him as he hovers above me.
“You know you don’t have to do this? I never want you to feel pressured by me-“ I shake my head cutting him short.
“I want to show you how much I love you.” He inhales harshly at my words and it makes my heart ache in a delicious way. I make him feel this way. Just my words can bring Cashel Castille to a halt. “I know that you’ve probably seen it in me for awhile, but I want this. I want to share this with you. Something I’ve never given to another person. Because no one else has ever been more deserving of the most sacred thing I have.” Cash leans forward and kisses the streaming tears on the side of my face tenderly. So tender I wouldn’t feel the brush of his lips if not for the electric jolt I feel at the touch of his skin against mine. He touches my thumping heart, warming my body to nuclear levels.
“This is the most sacred thing that you have to offer. And I will gladly reside there as long as you’ll have me, because you’ve taken up residence in my heart since the first day I laid eyes on you Khloe. If we do this I want you to know that. I will take anything you give me, greedily. But don’t ever think it will be enough. Nothing will ever be enough, because every piece of yourself you give me, only makes me ravenous for more.” I nod. A lump in my throat too large to respond. He kisses me again and this time I wrap my arms behind his head. He grips my hip as he pushes me down into the mattress, one of his hands holding the top half of his body off of mine. His bottom half settles between my legs.
Our kiss is feverish and frantic. I want to devour him. I want to live so deep in this love that every breath of mine is full of him. My heart is so light I fear that I will float out of this space. But Cash’s love, Cash’s body, keep me grounded. He pushes my camisole up as my legs climb his hips and interlock. He sits up and I gasp and grip my legs tighter around him. He breaks our kiss to pull my shirt off, exposing my bare breasts to him. He inhales sharply and something between a groan and gasp claw up his throat. He lays me back down and kisses down my throat as his fingers work at the pebbled buds, I gasp so hard my throat hurts. His kisses move down to my breasts making me arch off of the bed to get closer. His mouth is so deliciously warm and wet that my core clenches as neurons in my brain fire.
Cash moves lower kissing down my stomach and shifting my shorts and panties off of my long legs. When I am completely bared to him, he sits back to stare at me. I thought I would feel shy but I don’t. He looks at me like I am the first glimpse of the sun he’s seen in years. Like I am the answer to all of his problems. Like I am the most beautiful person in the world.
“I’ve never seen such beauty before. No wonder the name fits.” He tells me making me smile. A smile that slips once he’s naked too. “Don’t look so worried, Beauté.” I nod, because what else can I do?
Then he’s kissing me again as his fingers shift down my body, brushing the most intimate parts of me. Lighting me up with perfect strokes and brushes. His mouth works down my body touching the peaks of my nipples, the dip of my belly button, the soft skin of my belly, and then…I arch up as his warm mouth takes me in. The slide of his tongue so intoxicating that I choke on a moan. He knows what I need without my having to ask and he’s gentle in a way I didn’t think Cash could be. He doesn’t stop until my toes curl and my moan echoes through the room. My breathing is heavy and my eyes are unfocused when he settles above me again. Cash fits a condom onto himself and then waits for a sign that I want to
continue. I nod to let him know I’m okay.
When our hips finally meet, my body is keyed up but it still hurts. He’s patient with me. Kissing all over my face while I try to adjust to the discomfort. Telling me how much he loves me and how lucky he is. When I’m okay, he gives me long, slow strokes as he kisses any place his mouth can reach, he touches every inch of my body his fingers can reach, and praises me on how good I feel. How much he can’t believe that I’m finally his.
And I admire him from every angle I can. Trying to memorize every detail of the moment I finally gave myself to someone I never thought I could love so much. When I tumble off the precipice of release, fireworks going off behind my eyelids. Heat blazing through my veins and his name on my lips, it’s more perfect than I ever imagined it could be.
Cash pulls away from me and I look at him in confusion. “What’s wrong?” I ask as he slides off one side of the bed. He shakes his head with a sexy smile and reaches for my hand. I give it to him. Although my limbs are so relaxed I almost feel sedated. He positions me so I’m hanging off of the bed, with my feet on the floor and then begins to kiss my neck. I groan as my body clenches. I don’t know if I can keep my eyes open long enough to go again.
“Pliez fini pour moi, Beauté.” He presses on my back until I lean over the mattress. When he fills me again, I feel sore but not enough to stop him. Cash fills me so much deeper this way that I clench the sheets in my hands as I try to keep my trembling legs steady. This time his thrust are much faster and it occurs to me that he was actually holding back before. Each thrust is so powerful it jolts me into the bed.