Troubled Waters

by Susan May Warren

  “You were trying to hire her?” He rounded on Dex. “You were being a little handsy for an employer.”

  “What? Oh, that was after she turned me down. And she was politely telling me no when the wave hit. And how do you know that, anyway? You were in your bunk, sleeping.”

  Ian sighed. “No, I wasn’t. I was on my way down to tell you . . .”

  Dex raised an eyebrow.

  Ian’s mouth closed.

  “Oh, for cryin’ out loud. Admit it. You’re in love with her too.”

  Ian looked away.

  “Ian. I know you. And Noelly knows it too. You couldn’t stop watching Sierra the entire time we were on the yacht. Noelly finally asked me to distract Sierra, see if she could get your attention. But it was pretty clear that Sierra was just humoring me.”

  “She likes you, Dex.”

  “And she loves you.”

  Ian’s jaw tightened. “It doesn’t matter.”

  “What?”

  Ian sighed. “She didn’t tell me that she’d found Esme.”

  Dex just blinked at him, as if confused.

  “She knew for an entire month and didn’t tell me.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because Esme asked her not to. Apparently, she was worried about my safety. It’s a long story.”

  “One I’d dearly love to hear, but dude, wake up. Sierra was in a no-win situation. Give her a little grace.”

  “This isn’t the first time she’s kept something from me.”

  “And it might not be the last. Wow, for a guy who’s been married once, you know nothing about relationships.”

  Okay, that was just enough. “Really? And you do?”

  But Dex had a little color to his face, was sitting up in bed, clearly not slowing down. “Listen to me. Your mother did you no favors when she walked out on your dad and you and your sister, repeatedly.”

  Ian stiffened.

  “You do the same thing she does—”

  “Watch it.”

  “You get hurt, and you leave.”

  He recoiled. “I don’t—”

  “Allison hurt you and you hid out on an oil rig. Sierra hurt you and you fired her.”

  “That was different.”

  “And here you are, with the woman you love plucked from a sandbar in the middle of an ocean—if that’s not a miracle, I don’t know what is—and you stand here, refusing to see her. Are you out of your ever-lovin’ mind?”

  “No!” Ian stared at Dex. Who raised an eyebrow.

  And he saw it then. He was right back on the cliff with Dex, being egged on. Daring him to jump in.

  To get in over his head.

  But maybe that was what loving someone meant—diving in, letting go, holding together to keep each other alive.

  “We’re a team, right?”

  Shoot. “Okay, yes.” Ian closed his eyes, ran his thumb and forefinger over them. “Maybe. I don’t know.”

  “I do,” Dex said, his voice kind. “Ian, you’re a brilliant guy. We all know that. But you can’t run, can’t fire people, can’t try and control the people you love into not hurting you. Not screwing up. Because they will. I know because I have, and you don’t shove me out of your life.”

  “That’s because I can’t get rid of you,” Ian said. “You’ll die without me.”

  He wasn’t entirely serious, but Dex nodded. “I know. And I don’t shove you out of mine, even when . . .” He turned solemn then. “Even when things go south and somebody loses a leg.”

  Ian looked away.

  “Dude, I decided the day I saw you getting the snot kicked out of you that you needed a brother. And from that day, it was you and me, man. Getting into trouble. Sheesh, you nearly drowned me—”

  “That was your fault.”

  “Yeah, whatever. Learn to swim, dude. But Ian. You did the same thing. You decided, years ago, when you saw me failing, big, that you couldn’t let that happen. I know that’s why you went to Stanford—”

  “I got a scholarship—”

  “To three other schools.”

  Ian leaned against the windowsill.

  “Don’t keep making Sierra earn your love, like your mother did to you. Choose to love her, despite her mistakes, despite the fact that she will hurt you again. Or you’ll end up alone, like me. Except if you don’t marry Sierra, I will, so there’s that awkward moment when I ask you to be the best man at my wedding, and—”

  “Please stop.”

  But he looked up at Dex. Swallowed hard.

  Choose . . .

  “I gotta go.”

  “Atta boy,” Dex said as Ian headed for the door. “Maybe you could pick up a pizza while you’re out?”

  Ian headed down the hallway, hit the elevator button. Waited, pacing, until the doors dinged open.

  He nearly took out Shae as she stepped out holding two coffees. “Hey! Are you okay?”

  Ian held the door open for her. “Yeah, I’m just . . . uh, I’m going to go see Sierra.”

  Shae gave him a soft, sad smile. “Oh, Uncle Ian. You’re too late. Sierra just checked out of the hospital. She and Pete are headed to the airport, back to Mercy Falls.”

  He stilled. “What?”

  “I’m sorry. I told her you didn’t want to see her, and she—”

  “Esme!”

  She raised an eyebrow.

  “Nothing.” He stepped into the elevator, not sure where exactly he was going. He punched the first-floor button, got off, and headed out across the lobby, his heart thundering.

  He pushed through the circular doors and stood in the heat, his hand over his eyes, searching the lot for any sign of them.

  Shoot.

  He wandered back inside. Stood in the lobby.

  Reached out for a chair and sank into it, his head in his hands.

  “There’s a chapel down the hall, if you need it.”

  He looked up at the voice. “What?”

  Ty slid onto the chair beside him. “I recognize that look. Defeat. Broken and at the end of yourself.”

  Ian swallowed. Ran his hand down his face. “I can’t believe I screwed this up again. Probably for the last time.”

  “Aw, we all know Sierra better than that. But that’s not what I’m talking about. This isn’t about Sierra, not really. It’s about you. You, finally in that place where you’re in over your head. When you realize you have nothing to hold on to. Except, well, Jesus. Because he’s the one who calms the seas. Who brings you to safe harbor. Who gives you the power to do the impossible—walk on water. Or even”—and Ty smiled—“get your girl back.”

  Please forgive me for always thinking I have to be in charge. Save us. Save . . . me.

  “The chapel is down the hall. In case you need to do some business with God.”

  Ian stared at him. “What happened to you?”

  One side of Ty’s mouth lifted. “Same thing that happened to you. I was shipwrecked.” He got up. “And God brought me home.”

  Sierra sat with her forehead pressed to the cool, oval window and stared down at the striations of blue—aqua, turquoise, royal, deep indigo—that made up the ocean off the coast of Miami.

  “So beautiful,” she said. “From up here it looks so calm too.”

  Pete had exchanged seats with the man who was supposed to sit beside her. She told him that he didn’t have to watch over her, but he lifted a shoulder, mumbled something about teammates.

  Sweet.

  Pete leaned his head back, closed his eyes. The man appeared wrung out, exhausted.

  Such a good man, Pete was.

  “Are you okay?” she asked, and he opened one eye.

  “Yep.”

  “You look . . .”

  He frowned. Lifted his head.

  “Tired.”

  He gave her a wry smile. “Yep.”

  She looked out the window again. The plane was clearing the clouds, the ocean dropping away.

  “I’m sorry about Ian,” Pete said suddenly, quietly.


  She looked at him.

  “He’s a jerk.”

  “Oh no, Pete, he’s not. He’s . . . you should have seen him on the island. He built us a shelter, made us a fire, found food and water, protected us from the storm—he’s the one who got Dex off the island. He was . . . he is amazing.” She sighed. “It was my fault. I let my guard down. We were suddenly working together, just us, nothing between us. Not the past, not his billions, just survival. And I lost my heart all over again to him.”

  She glanced out the window, at the white fogging the window as they ascended through the clouds. “It was everything I wished for, really. A chance to start over. But I knew it couldn’t last, not really. I don’t blame him for his anger. I should have told him about Shae.”

  “Yeah, well, you had your reasons, I’m sure.”

  “I did. But it still wasn’t right. Nothing stays secret forever, I know that. And you can’t outrun the past.”

  He made a strange sound beside her. Agreement?

  She tried to keep the tremble from her voice. “It’s probably for the best. We live in different worlds. It could never work.”

  Pete was frowning now.

  “Admit it, Pete. Ian and I don’t belong together. He’s a billionaire. And I’m practically homeless. If we don’t get the chopper repaired, I’ll probably be looking for another job. We’re hardly a rescue team without a chopper. It’s good you moved.”

  His mouth had tightened into a grim line. He gave her a slow nod.

  “Maybe I should move too.” The seat belt light went off, and the pilot came on, welcoming them, giving instructions. She waited, then said, “Actually, I got offered a job—two of them—on the yacht. Dex made a crazy suggestion that I work for him—he probably wasn’t serious. But then Vanessa White said her organization is always looking for people who can put together a great event.” She gave a harsh laugh. “Of course, that was before she nearly died on an excursion I planned, so . . .”

  “Don’t leave, Sierra,” Pete said quietly.

  She looked up at him, and he actually looked pained. “Why?”

  “Lots of reasons. Because Mercy Falls is your home. And your family—Willow, and your mom, and the team is there. And we need you at PEAK. And . . .” He sighed. “Jess will really need you. At least, if she comes back.”

  “Won’t you be there? I thought . . .” She’s in love with you. The words nearly broached her lips, but, well, she’d learned her lesson about meddling. Still, “I guess I thought you came back for Jess.”

  “Yeah. Me too.”

  “Then—”

  “It didn’t work out,” he said and swallowed hard. “Yet.” He looked down at his hands. “And in the meantime, she’ll need a friend.”

  By the looks of his dark, broken expression, he needed a friend.

  The flight attendant came by, pushing the drink cart.

  “Pete?”

  He looked away from her, and for a moment, she thought he might cry. She fought a crazy urge to put her arms around him. Except maybe she shouldn’t try to fix things all the time. Maybe she should mind her own business.

  “I’m okay. Or . . . I will be. I think,” Pete said, his voice thin.

  Oh, Pete. And despite her self-admonition, she reached out, closed her hand over his.

  He didn’t move it away.

  Please help Pete, Lord. Heal his broken heart.

  He finally turned his hand over. Gave hers a squeeze. “You’re a good teammate.”

  “Thanks, Pete,” she said quietly, staring out the window as the sun burnished the clouds a deep, rich gold.

  18

  “ARE YOU SURE you want to do this?” Shae stood next to Ian at the table in Dex’s family’s kitchen.

  The sunlight from the arched windows of the Crawford estate gleamed across the wooden floors, and the scent of last night’s chili was still embedded in the adobe walls. Noelly had come down for the weekend and now sat reading her tablet on one of the leather chairs. Later today, Ian planned a ride out to Crawford Creek, just to show Shae around.

  One last time before she left for Minneapolis.

  “Montana’s not my home anymore,” she said. “So don’t hold back on my account. It’s just . . . you need to be sure this is what you want. It’s a big deal to sell your ranch. You built it for a family . . .”

  Ian picked up his pen, her words finding the tender places. That family might never happen.

  Might.

  But he had a plan. A sort of plan. A loose idea—because he was leaving the big stuff to God.

  Like his heart. His future.

  “Ben King needs a home for his family, and the ranch is the perfect solution. He’s right next to the PEAK ranch, to his father, and . . . well, his big music industry guests will get a taste of Montana ranching. Most importantly, I can use the money to help the people of Dawson start over.”

  “What are you going to do with the insurance money from the yacht?”

  Ian heard a thumping and glanced over to where Dex crutched his way into the room. In the past two weeks since returning to the Crawford ranch from Miami, Dex had put on weight and confidence and in another couple weeks would be fitted for a prosthesis.

  Until then, he’d made the local news, and business at the Hondo had exploded. The chef had added a survival, deep-sea surf and turf menu option that played up Dex’s firsthand account of surviving in the sea. Dex had even been contacted by a few publishers interested in his story.

  Ian had turned down the same offers. “I’m going to buy the PEAK team a new chopper. And put enough in reserve to keep them going for a very long time.”

  Dex worked his way over to the leather sofa and held up his hand to stop Noelly when she got up to help him.

  Noelly sat back down. “I still think you should move to Texas, Ian.”

  Ian bent over the contract, scrawling his name. “Nope.”

  He put the pen down. Looked over at Noelly, who gazed at him, her pretty face holding a thread of sadness.

  But she nodded. “I get it. You belong in Montana.”

  No. He belonged with Sierra.

  But he didn’t correct her. Instead, he took Shae’s hand. “Don’t worry. He won’t find you in Minneapolis.”

  He.

  Shae drew in a breath.

  And yes, probably she was remembering their long conversation, the unraveling of her story as he paced Dex’s hospital room, listening. He tried not to flinch when she got to the part, early on, where she’d decided to run away with Dante.

  Run away from him.

  But she’d come back, and yeah, he wouldn’t freak out, try to control her life.

  Because God had changed him. Ever since he crumpled to his knees, fell to his face in the small hospital chapel. He felt it welling up through him, infusing his cells, his bones, his breath.

  He’d call it peace.

  Ty had been right about Jesus being the one who calmed the seas. For the first time in years, over the past two weeks, Ian didn’t waken to the sense of drowning. Of life spiraling out of control.

  He wasn’t in charge.

  And yes, he was hoping God could do the impossible . . . get his girl back.

  Which meant he was going back to Mercy Falls. Only this time, not as Ian Shaw, billionaire. But maybe just a man.

  Ian got up, put his hands on Shae’s shoulders. “When I get back, the first thing I’m going to do is talk to Ella Blair. She’s a lawyer, has no connections to Blackburn, and she’ll help us figure this out. We’re going to bring him to justice, I promise. You go back to Minneapolis, and don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.”

  Really, he would.

  Probably.

  Starting, hopefully, with winning back the heart of the woman he loved.

  Please, God. Help me do this right.

  “Now, let’s go suit up. Have you ever ridden a dirt bike?”

  “A new chopper? Brand new?” Sierra stood out on the tarmac, outside the PEAK barn, watching as
Kacey piloted their brand-new yellow and white Bell 412ep, fourteen-passenger, workhorse helicopter in for a landing. The cool November air whisked up around them, and she stepped back as the rotors scattered dust and pine needles. Dusk settled upon the mountains, the evening sun spilling rose-gold into the valley.

  “How did this happen?”

  “Anonymous donor,” Chet said, winking. “He also set up a fund we can draw on for future repairs and equipment.”

  “He?”

  Chet put his finger to his mouth. “But I think maybe your little excursion had something to do with our turn of fortune.”

  Little excursion? Chet made it sound like a Gilligan’s Island three-hour tour. Except, given how it turned out, maybe it was.

  “Was it Dex? Hayes?”

  Ian?

  Except how could it be Ian, because he had neatly written all of them out of his life? The sting of his absence these past six weeks had become a deep, searing ache.

  He’d really meant it when he told Shae that he didn’t want to see her. And that truth slammed home when Ben King told her he’d purchased the Shaw ranch.

  Kacey and Ben were planning a Christmas wedding in the great room.

  Her dreams of marrying Ian in that very room had faded long ago. Still, the news raked it all up.

  The chopper landed on the pad and shut down, and Kacey climbed out of the cockpit. She pulled off her helmet. “She’s so beautiful I want to weep,” Kacey said.

  Ty came around from the copilot side, wearing his jumpsuit. He tucked his helmet under his arm. “Yeah, we’re going to save lives in this thing.”

  Strangely, not long after he’d returned from Florida, Ty had started refresher courses at the airport in the simulator.

  She wished Jess was here to see it, but she’d flown to North Carolina last weekend.

  Whatever had passed between her and Pete, Jess wasn’t saying. And Pete had jumped in his truck, hightailed it out of town, and went back to his training somewhere in the Midwest so fast, he left a little windburn in his wake.

  Sierra walked over to the chopper, looked inside.

  The manufacturer had configured it for three injured passengers, with a double bunk litter on one side, a regular litter on the other, and it still had room for supplies and techs. “Wow. No more leaving people behind on the mountain.”